


Shadows in the Force

by CadomirBane



Series: Sequel Trilogy Rewrite [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abusive Snoke (Star Wars), Ahsoka Tano Lives, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Rose Tico, Blood and Violence, Canon Rewrite, Dark Side Rey, F/M, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Gay Finn (Star Wars), Gay Poe Dameron, Jedi Ben Solo, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Misgendering, Religious Cults, Rey is Nobody (Star Wars), Sith Rey (Star Wars), Smuggler Ben Solo, Trans Ben Solo, Trans Female Character, Trans Kylo Ren, Trans Male Character, Trans Rey (Star Wars), Transphobia, deadnaming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 127,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24889117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadomirBane/pseuds/CadomirBane
Summary: Ben Solo, a former Jedi Padawan, now a pilot-for-hire, is on the run from his family legacy. Rey is a Dark Side apprentice, trained by Snoke and his followers to restore the Sith to their former glory. When their paths collide, the galaxy will never be the same again. An Episode VII/Force Awakens rewrite.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Temmin "Snap" Wexley, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Sequel Trilogy Rewrite [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800979
Comments: 81
Kudos: 64
Collections: Queerly Beloved Reylo Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!! This is a project i have been working on since January! After TROS came out I knew i wanted to do my own version of the sequel trilogy. This is my version of The Force Awakens. initially it started out as my own take on the "Smuggler-Pilot Ben Solo/Dark Rey AU" - which it is - but it branched out into more than that.
> 
> i've focused on using the 'Ring Theory' while trying to get creative and not just feel like i'm copying other parts of the saga. in typical 'me' fashion this fic also features a lot of LGBTQ+ characters and their own stories about sexuality and gender identity are brought up.
> 
> I will list trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter. This fic will include MA/R-rated violence in some parts, as well as some scenes of abuse/assault. definitely more than lucasfilm/disney would show on the screen which is why i have it here so i can tell the story with all the dark details needed to get it across.
> 
> i hope you all enjoy my own 'take' on the sequels!! :D

_A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...._

_STAR WARS_

  
  


_Episode VII: SHADOWS IN THE FORCE_

_Tensions rise across the peaceful New Republic._

_From the ashes of the fallen Empire,_

_a new formidable enemy, the FIRST ORDER,_

_has risen to power and threatens_

_to take over the galaxy._

_On a secluded planet in the Outer Rim,_

_Luke Skywalker continues training a new generation_

_of Jedi safe from the growing conflict,_

_hoping to rebuild what_

_Darth Sidious nearly destroyed._

_Meanwhile, the son of Leia Organa_

_and Han Solo seeks out his own journey,_

_on the run from both the Force_

_and his family legacy...._

* * *

1.

_Month 4, Day 9, 34 ABY_

Ord Mantell.

In an era long past, this planet was well known as a bustling industrial world. Over ten thousand years ago, the Old Republic turned it into a popular trading outpost for the Mid Rim region of the galaxy, which put Ord Mantell on all major maps, solidifying its importance. However, nowadays, most of Ord Mantell’s surface is now covered in junkyard fields, which attract all sorts of criminals who have turned it into a lawless haven. Even under a peaceful New Republic, constructed from the ashes of the defeated Galactic Empire, the massive pollution from the junkyards and abandoned industrial zones can still be seen from space, Clouds of toxic fumes hide the natural landscapes, giving the planet a sickly green coating on its surface.

Ships of all shapes and sizes can also be seeing coming to and from the planet. Freighters delivering supplies; huge cruisers transporting tourists to attractions in the major cities; small starfighters with individuals coming and going on their own. Upon looking closer, one spot in the darkness can be seen from space, where most of the ships appear to be leaving and approaching.

This spot is Worlport, the capital city. A poorly planned coastal metroplies sprawling with casinos and pleasure houses. A diverse population, rich with dangerous neighborhoods where crime runs rampant, but at the same time it can make for an exciting place to visit—if you know how to watch your back or can afford to hire someone to watch it for you, that is.

Surrounding the city, mesas and flat plains made up the terrain. A mostly empty tundra land, with little vegetation able to grow due to many years of pollution. But it is not totally lifeless out here. Maybe now and then, one might notice a lonely homestead on one of the roads leading to Worlport, or a speeder traveling alone into the night.

Far from said roads and homes, several clicks from the city, a dark object has been parked between two large hills to hide itself. A _Raider I-_ class corvette, 150 meters in length, heavily customized. A ship not easily flown without a good deal of skill and experience. Under a cloudy night sky, it sits alone, metallic surface shining in contrast to the surrounded wilderness.

Here is where our story begins.

~

An R-3 Series astromech droid, its body colored white, gray, and orange, popped its head up at a sound of distress.

This was not a sound the droid was unused to hearing or did not understand; in fact, for most of the life they recalled they had become quite familiar with it. This droid had not had their memory bank erased for almost three decades, leaving a lot of storage of the things they had seen, experienced, and been subjected to as they were passed from owner to owner. Some owners had been better than others. A few had been cruel and abusive beyond measure, to the point that it had affected the droid’s deeply imbedded programming that formed their personality, all their quirks and the means by which they interacted with the world around them. Their current owner had attempted to reverse some of this programming through positive communication, a consistent daily routine, and caring for the droid in ways they had not experienced in many years. But that could only repair so much damage done. Still, the droid had made lots of progress recently, having finally allowed sentient physical contact and not shutting down at the first sign of negative emotion in the environment.

But at this particular sound, the droid understood it to be an indication of a Human having some sense of being in danger, of needing to exit a particular situation and not being able to, hence the distress. The droid had not been alerted to any signs of danger in their current surroundings. Perhaps something had evaded their usual scan of the area. There could have been a malfunction somewhere in the ship causing a chemical imbalance that would cause damage to a sentient’s respiratory system. Or an object could have penetrated the integumentary system, causing loss of blood. Many unpredictable possibilities that could go unnoticed until potentially organic life-threatening damage occurred. When the sound of distress repeated, and this time was even higher in volume and duration, the droid’s growing concern was only confirmed in their mind.

All this, the droid processed in their programming in the span of about two seconds.

The droid, having made the decision of how to respond to the sound, began gliding their drive treads across the tile floor. The tile floor stretched on into a narrow, dark hallway that glowed a slight blue from the nearby navigation computer. After passing two doors the astromech made a right turn through an open doorway into a cabin. It was of average size, with enough room to hold a bunk bed, a small desk with a holocomputer, a walk-in closet, and several storage containers filled with everything from spare parts to portable games to nonperishable snack foods. The droid’s particular interest was on the Human being lying on the bunk bed.

They quickly began searching for any indications of what could be causing the sounds of distress. They were unable to locate any clear danger, or threat of danger, in the cabin, as everything was as exactly as it had been the last time the astromech was in here. A half-empty cup of caf was on the table right beside the keyboard, a calligraphy set, and a blaster that had been taken apart to be cleaned.

The Human in question did not show any signs of being in physical harm or pain. The droid now also saw that the Human seemed to be asleep and yet was moving around quite a bit, still sending verbal signals that they were not safe and needed assistance immediately.

As a last resort, the astromech wheeled to the bedside and intentionally bumped it hard enough so the Human would feel it. That seemed to invoke a response, as an instant later the Human’s eyes were open and he was sitting up on the bed. The Human was tall, with pale skin and medium-length dark hair. The astromech noticed his face was beaded with sweat and his chest heaved as if he had been difficulty breathing. Perhaps that could have been what caused the distress?

Suddenly the astromech realized their Human was looking at them, and they wondered if they had made a terrible mistake in waking them up. They jerked back quickly from the bed, hoping to avoid physical damage. In binary, the R3-Series droid named R3-K8 cried out,

[I am sorry, Master Ben! I am sorry! I do not wish to be hurt!]

~

_You can’t run from who you are, young Solo,_ the shadow with the glowing eyes purred.

_I’m still waiting for you._

Gloved hands were about to clasp at his throat…and then all at once something bumped hard into Ben Solo’s mattress. He sat up straight and gasped.

For a few seconds he sat there, trying to calm down. Trying to reason with himself that he was safe in his cabin, on his ship. The nightmares had been the same for a while now and they seemed to be only getting worse in the past few months. Normally he would write that off as not meaning anything other than he was stressed out or burned out, but Ben knew enough to know it did not work that way, at least for someone in whom the Force was naturally strong. For Skywalker blood, dreams that intense meant something.

Especially considering he knew exactly who that shadow was.

His astromech droid, R3-K8, or ‘Kate,’ whistled worriedly at him. Ben looked down at her.

“It’s okay, Kate,” he said. Poor little droid had been through a lot. When he found her, she was covered in rust and abandoned in a junkyard, scared of every little thing he did. But her memory banks had never been cleared which made her incredibly smart and resourceful. She had been living on his ship almost a year now and while she was still jumpy, she was quite handy to have around.

[Are you okay?] the droid beeped.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine. I was just having a nightmare again. Remember when I told you about that the other night?” _And the night before that and the night before that._ Whatever maltreatment K8’s previous master did to her must have messed with her short-term memory circuits in regard to sentient behavioral patterns. Ben still needed to get that repaired.

[I’m sorry. I forgot!]

He gave K8 a small smile and rubbed the top of her dome head.

“It’s okay. Can you go start up the caf pot? Make it strong.”

[I can do that! I can do that!] With another whistle showing she was happy to help, K8 rushed off to make caf.

Ben watched her go and leaned his head against the wall behind him with a sigh. Not like he could go back to sleep now, so he might as well have that caf and find something to do. He stretched his legs, listening to the soft hum of the ship’s hull.

The nightmare was still so fresh in his mind, and it still felt so real. That shadow was always there when he closed his eyes. The sound of its breathing was always the most terrifying part of the dream. Running off some sort of machine, it was constant, never stopping or slowing down. The nightmares would start with the breathing not far away, then drawing closer and closer until it was echoing in his own head. And the shadow’s face that was not even a face, but a mask. Large, terrifying orbs for eyes in which Ben always saw his own reflection mirrored so perfectly. The cold, gloved hands of a machine. He knew who that shadow was. He knew what it wanted.

Ben mulled it over and over, huddling there in the dark and seeking comfort from the familiar, until he heard the ‘ _ding!’_ from the kitchenette indicating the caf was ready. He got up and pulled on his black jacket, then shuffled barefoot down the hall. K8 was standing beside the dining table right outside the kitchenette area. With a small nod in her direction, Ben poured himself a cup of caf and dumped in a couple packets of sweetener. Then, opting that fresh air would help him feel better, he grabbed his pack of cigs from the counter and opened the ship’s ramp.

Ben Solo’s ship, the _Odysseus_ , was his home. Originally manufactured by the Galactic Empire but fell into civilian use after the war, it was equipped with turbolasers, ion cannon batteries, and heavy laser cannons, designed to carry a crew of ninety men. Of course, after buying the ship Ben spent a long time modifying it to his own liking, the biggest of which was converting many unused cabins into large spaces to house his starfighter, the _Siren Scythe_ , as well as a few jumpspeeders and other essential equipment. Now and then he still found something on the _Odysseus_ he wanted to tinker with, see if he could improve it or change it altogether, but for now he liked what he had. This was home. And probably as good as it was going to get.

Once the ramp had lowered, he sat down on it and stared up at the stars. He sipped his caf as he lit a cig and took a long drag, enjoying the small rush it gave once it hit. In the distance he could hear a bit of the commotion from Worlport but not enough to bother him. For now, he was alone with his thoughts. Even with his long-sleeved black shirt, pants, and jacket, he was shivering. His bare feet on the ramp were freezing.

Behind him Ben heard a whistle and two beeps in Binary. He did not have to glance over his shoulder to know it was K8 along with his other droid, an ID9 seeker droid he had named ‘Delta.’ The pair were at the top of the ramp looking down at him. Ben waved them off.

“No, we’re not leaving yet,” he said in reply to K8’s question. “I’m just wide awake, that’s all.”

The droids went back inside. Delta had been bought nearly brand new as opposed to K8, which meant that while Delta did not have to unlearn any behavioral patterns from previous owners, he also liked to invent his own ways of doing things. That droid’s cutting sarcasm had gotten them into serious trouble from time to time.

Sooner or later, his mind wandered back to his nightmare of the shadow, with the mask and mechanical breathing. Sure, that shadow had once been the face of the reign of terror in the galaxy a generation ago, but that was not what it meant to Ben. When he saw the shadow, he knew he was seeing a part of his past. A part of himself.

Something, or some _one_ that is, from his bloodline.

He had an idea of what the nightmare meant. The spirit of Darth Vader—his grandfather who fell to the Dark Side—was following him. Vader could not reach him in his waking moments, as Ben had shut himself off the Force for over nine years now, reaching out to it to help him in only the most extreme circumstances. But when he was not conscious, Vader had found a way into his mind. A way to haunt him and pursue him. That spirit wanted him to succumb to the Dark Side as well, take on that part of his lineage.

Ben knew the story told by his uncle. That at the last moment, Vader redeemed himself by saving Luke’s life, killing the Emperor, and becoming Anakin Skywalker again. He had died in Luke’s arms having finally returned to the Light. But if Vader’s spirit lived in his nightmares, did that mean the story wasn’t all true? What if Luke told him that to give his remaining family some remnant of hope that Anakin found redemption in the end? Luke was the only witness to the scene, after all; it would not be hard to exaggerate the story or just make the whole thing up. Suppose Vader had killed Palpatine after all but only so that he could become Emperor instead, and Luke killed him after that. Or what if Vader died refusing to accept that he could be redeemed?

These were the questions that plagued Ben Solo. These were the things he lived with day after day, his doubts growing in him like a sickness.

Two cigs later and halfway into his second cup of caf, he felt a bit better but not as much as he wanted to. The night on Ord Mantell was cool and the air tasted faintly bitter from the Scraplands several clicks away. Ben contemplated taking one of his jumpspeeders out for a joyride, getting lost out there in the wilderness until his mind was quiet again. Or maybe find something on the _Odysseus_ to tinker with; there was always something to do on the ship. But instead, he just sat there, chainsmoking and sipping his caf, unable to move. His thoughts haunted him.

Ben wanted to believe that his grandfather had not been completely lost to the darkness. He wanted to believe Anakin had saved himself by saving Luke. But the recurring nightmare led him to consider otherwise. Somehow, in some form, Vader was still out there. His spirit lingered in the Dark Side. Whispering to him, trying to pull Ben down as he had been pulled.

What did it all mean? Who else could that be in his nightmares but Vader himself?

As the faintest glimpses of sunrise began on the horizon, Ben got up and returned to the ship. He thought idly of what would happen if he told any of his living family about the nightmares. He had not spoken to Luke in almost a decade—not since that day at the Jedi temple when Ben walked away from everything, throwing his saber at Luke’s feet and calling it quits. Luke would probably tell him it was just a vision of what Ben was afraid to become if he returned to his training. A sign that deep down Ben feared going down the same path Anakin did. And Ben would tell him “Bullshit, I’m not afraid of the Force; I just don’t want it choosing my path for me,” but Luke would not be completely wrong. His dad would clap him on the shoulder and tell him he just needed to take time off work to de-stress, maybe head back home to Chandrila for a staycation. His mom would probably something that fit right between Luke and Dad’s advice. That sounded about right.

Ben sighed. He should really contact his mom again. But she was always busy. As a child she had been too busy for him. And lately he had been trying to keep himself busy too. Maybe part of that was spite, a “you didn’t make enough time for me so now I won’t make enough time for you” sort of subconscious revenge. Or maybe it was not that at all. Maybe they were just plain busy.

But not today. Ben did not feel like talking to his family. He did not want to be a Skywalker, or an Organa, or a Solo. He did not want to be the grandson of Darth Vader or the son of Rebel heroes who saved the galaxy.

Today he wanted to be just Ben, and be alone.

~

_4 miles from the Sith Citadel, Exegol, -_ _Month 4, Day 9,_ _34 ABY_

Today’s targets were within sight. They were three adult male Grans. Mercenaries, all armed with a blaster and two daggers each. They were walking together through the dark canyon, weapons drawn as they chatted amongst themselves. Each of them also had on plates of armor that could stop a regular laser bolt from killing them.

The sky was dark and starless, thick clouds overhead blocking out the light. No natural vegetation grew here, and the canyon below was a lifeless crevice carved into the dead earth. The Grans were the only lifeforms within a four-radius. It was just her and them.

Rey, a young woman with brown hair that reached just past her shouders, perched at the top of the canyon, peered down at them as they moved closer to her hiding place, anxiously waiting for the chance to attack. Her clothes consisted of simple black and grey garments in several layers; wrappings formed makeshift sleeves, and long loose folds gave the impression of a skirt around her waist held together by a belt. She had a dark hood over her head which shielded her face from the little light from the distant lightning storm.

Of course, Grans have incredible vision, she knew. They would detect her slightest move. So she would have to move in cautiously, and try to use their numbers to her advantage. She would also have to take into account that they could draw extra weapons and try to surround her.

Most targets were the same. A majority were led to Exegol under the guise that they were being hired to track down and kill a Force-user for a large sum of credits, a thrilling hunt that would prove a worthy challenge. Of course, they never figured out that they were walking into a trap until it was too late. Rey was not sure how much longer mercenaries and the like would keep falling for it and making this one-way trip, but as long as they showed up, she did not care about the aftermath. She also knew some of them had been brought here not of their own free will. A few were dangerous prisoners from backwater prisons or slaves forced to fight in arenas to entertain masses, kidnapped or bought by a Sith cultist and dumped here. A few others had lived here longer than she had, conceived and grown inside test tubes, created only to be used as practice for whatever she was ordered to do to them until their suffering was finally put to an end. Those poor souls had been bred only to be experimented on, to practice how far certain Dark Side abilities could go before death or permanent damage settled in. Everyone who was sent to Exegol was not meant to return. Everyone sent to Exegol was meant to die.

Except for her. She was special.

Rey gripped the hilt of her weapon, braced herself, and then just as the three Grans were nearly below her hiding spot, she jumped down. She landed firmly on the hard ground and ignited her lightsaber. Twin red blades appeared in front of her, illuminating her face.

The Grans halted in their tracks. Two of them already had their blasters aimed at her. Rey smirked at the look in their eyes. They saw her as a prize to be won—a bounty they would boast about for years to come. They did not know who was the predator and who was the prey.

One of them shouted out in his native tongue. Rey did not speak Gran, but she did not really need to know what they were saying. She grinned at them and licked her lips.

“You’d better not be boring. I don’t like me when I’m bored,” she cooed at them, not caring if they understood her or not.

One by one she defended herself from their blaster fire, parrying the blasts into the canyon walls rather than deflecting back into the Grans. That would be too easy. Too quick. One of them tried to sneak his way around her to get her from behind. Rey saw the move coming before it happened. She spun around and activated a switch on her saber, jutting out one blade so the weapon was completely horizontal now. Rey swung at the Gran behind her, almost lazily. These guys were pathetic. What made her master think these were capable opponents for her to duel? It was almost insulting…

…was the last thought Rey had before sharp pain erupted in her side.

She looked down and gasped. There was warm, sticky blood coming from a gash in her side. Another glance behind her. A knife lay on the ground, its blade glistening red. One of these assholes had thrown his knife at her. Rey clenched her jaw, using the pain to fuel her anger and give her more power.

“You…you cut me!” she snapped at him. She gnashed her teeth and swung her saber at them, but the Grans proved to be faster than they appeared. The two in front backed away, still shooting at her, while the one behind was still looking for a way in. They kept firing on her still. Rey’s focus was all on continuing to deflect the blasts. She channeled her anger in deeper until she hated them and did not just want them to die; she wanted them to suffer. She wanted their last moments to be of terror and agony.

Rey lashed out with her saber, opting to mow them down quickly before she was wounded again. Her double-edged saber spun in a deadly wheel as she charged towards them. The Gran mercenaries scattered to try to slow her down, but she just grinned. Rey sliced at the first man with her saber, slicing off his arm at the elbow which held his blaster. She then used his shock and alarm to her advantage and spun her saber sideways, slicing at his chest and neck. He went down, dead before he hit the ground. She could hear the cries of his two partners. Smiling, Rey kept twirling her lightsaber as she turned around to face them.

“Oopsie,” she said, jutting out her lower lip in a mock pout. Then, she drew strength from the Force and slammed the second Gran into the canyon wall. It was enough to knock him out but not enough to kill him. As for the third, who was still shooting at her with his blaster as if it would do any good, Rey ran towards him with her weapon. This time she chopped the nose of the blaster off to disarm him, then cut down one of his legs with her saber. As he fell, Rey gave him a kick so he could land harder on the ground.

Rey looked down at the writhing figure who was beginning to moan in agony. Getting an idea, she leaned down with her weapon. He was protesting in Gran, trying to speak to her. But even if she understood him, she wouldn’t care. She held up the edge of her blade and, one by one, sliced off the parts of the Gran’s head where his three eyes were attached. The man howled out in protest. Rey used his fear and pain to give her more strength, to help her ignore her own pain from the injury in her side. When she was done, she let him lie there a few moments while she went over to his unconscious partner and finished him off by cutting off his head. Then she did the same to the blinded Gran.

Now that it was over, she deactivated her saber and let out a sigh. That went…fine. She would give herself a six out of ten. Her master would not be happy when he saw she let herself get hurt. With that, Rey began the long walk home.

Every training day began the same. She would have to walk on her own across the barren lifeless desert. It was a four-mile trip one way from the Sith Citadel to the canyons. She would kill whoever was sent there by her master. Then the four-mile walk back, and would the way back be set with various booby traps to keep her alert? That was always the surprise. Or there might not be anyone at the canyon and she would be ambushed at any random point of the day. Her master always changed it up a bit so she could never fully know what to expect. The only rule was she was not allowed to bring food or water with her.

Rey licked her chapped lips as she began climbing up the cliff, wincing from the pain in her side. The bleeding had stopped so at least the cut was not too deep or had penetrated any organs. But it would still slow her down.

 _Maybe someday Master Snoke will pick me up in a ship and let me ride back home. I’m so sick of walking,_ she thought with a grimace. The day he finally told her she was ready would never be too soon. Walking, walking, and walking…how much of her life had been spent doing that by now?

She walked alone, ignoring the dark landscape around her. The lightning had stopped making her flinch many years ago. She pressed her hand against her side, feeling it turn sticky with her blood. Her feet ached. The soles of her boots were specifically designed to not be strong enough against the harsh ground of Exegol, which meant that two miles into her walk her feet would already be cut up and starting to bleed. Her clothes were made of a weak material that the brutal desert sand could whip at, and the cold could seep through and chill her. But it made her stronger, her master would assure her. The pain was necessary. Without it she would weaken. Rey pushed on through the pain, daydreaming of an ice-cold glass of water and something to eat that would fill her stomach. Maybe she could also daydream of seeing the sky and the stars again. She never got to see them in her years of living on Exegol. The stars felt so far away now Rey felt she had nearly forgotten what they looked like. She could no longer remember the feeling of a warm, bright sun on her face. But those were things of the past. They were long gone now.

Much later, Rey finally arrived back at the place she called ‘home.’ Two guards stood at the entrance behind one of her master’s most trusted allies, Enric Pryde. He was not a member of the Sith Eternal, but he had served the Sith for decades. He was also their current link to the First Order, as he was a member of their High Command. Whenever Rey saw him, Pryde was on Exegol to bring reports about the First Order’s ever-growing strength and power, switching between his role as military general and servant to the Sith. Those were reports Rey enjoyed hearing when she got the chance. She loved listening in on the things the First Order was doing out there, the fear they were striking into the galaxy. It all pointed to what was coming sooner or later as soon as her training was finished.

Someday, the entire First Order would belong to her. Her master, the leader of the Sith Eternal, told her so; it was only a matter of time. It was her destiny to avenge the death of Darth Sidious and begin a new generation of Sith, her destiny to restore them to their former glory. One day, she would rule the galaxy and become the Grand Empress. All of this pain she had to endure on a daily basis was in preparation for what she was meant to do. So that made it all worth it. One day it would all pay off and she would sit on her rightful throne.

Until then, she had to deal with assholes like General Pryde constantly berating her and ordering her around. They thought they would always be able to tell her what to do. But her time would come when _she_ would be the one calling all the shots. The Sith Eternal cult _and_ the First Order would have to do whatever she said, and if anyone disobeyed her they would rue the day. It was coming.

She just had to keep walking, day in and day out, until that happened. Keep training and pushing through all the pain.

Rey offered Pryde a grim smile as she approached him. She did not interact with him much but when she did, he annoyed her.

“Someday you should give me a real challenge, you know! Where do you find these guys, anyway?” she asked, cocking her head at him.

Pryde huffed, hands clasped behind his back, as he looked down at her icily.

“You are wounded,” he said. “Snoke will be disappointed to see three pathetic bounty hunters could make you bleed, little Rey.”

“Oh, come on. I was soooo bored out there I had to do _something_ to make it interesting. Make them think they got the upper hand.” She shrugged, then gave him a little sulk when he did not so much as blink. “You’re no fun.”

The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.

“Your opinion of me does not merit any value. Come inside, Rey. Your master is waiting to see you. He has important news to share with you.” Pryde and the Sith Troopers stepped back so she could walk in.

“I think I can find him myself,” she retorted.

“He specifically requested that I escort you there. Now if you are done whining, we will be on our way.” Pryde then had the audacity to snap his fingers in her face, like she was a pet.

Rey felt like a child, being escorted to her master instead of going there herself. But she knew better than to protest, especially to someone Master Snoke trusted, so she went along with it. As she followed General Pryde she gave him a cold glare.

 _You won’t be talking to me like that for much longer,_ General _._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter!!! Hope you enjoy the second one ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:
> 
> -transphobic slurs/transphobic rhetoric.  
> -mentions of a cult and slavery.  
> MAJOR WARNING FOR R/PE/ABUSE: The scene starts when an OC named Torsten enters in case you need to skip).

2,

_The outskirts of Worlport, Ord Mantell – Month 4, Day 12, 34 ABY_

Ben hissed with agitation as he twisted his screwdriver harder against the panel.

“You stupid…goddamn… _useless_ …coolant…pump!” he grunted with each turn of the screwdriver. The damn thing had malfunctioned again this morning, just as he was about to head into the capital city to shop for food and supplies before leaving the planet. Now they would be stuck here until he could get it fixed, and Ben was not about to go hire a mechanic who would try to rip him off. Everything that needed fixing, he did on his own—thanks to a combination of his dad’s mentorship and deep-seated stubbornness.

Delta watched him and cocked his body to the side, floating a couple feet from where Ben was hunched over the equipment.

“Try a more vulgar word, Mister Ben. It might make the coolant pump fix itself faster.”

Ben sighed and sat back, staring up at the ceiling in agitation.

“Since you’re being such a smartass, how about you fix the stupid thing yourself while I head into town?” Ben retorted. “Not like you’re doing anything productive anyway.”

“My apologies. I was simply doing as you requested earlier: staying out of trouble.”

 _Seriously, there has got to be something wrong with his circuits,_ Ben thought, shaking his head. He’d deal with Delta’s sarcasm levels later. He had bigger problems on his mind today. In particular, finding another job to do, and soon.

Ever since he left the Jedi Temple and purchased the _Odysseus,_ Ben had started work as a freelance pilot. The guy who could get you from Point A to Point B no matter how treacherous the journey was, no matter what enemies may be lying in wait for a prize or any space creatures looking for a meal. He could get anybody anywhere. Not a smuggler like his dad, as he had corrected far too many people at this point on that one. (That is what he got for using that last name. Perhaps he should go by a different one so people would stop with the “Oh, you’re Han’s boy!” spiel. But which name? Certainly not Organa or Skywalker…) No, his work was, in almost all cases, perfectly legal under the New Republic law. He wanted to stay on the law’s good side. If only to help preserve the little bit of family dignity left after the huge scandal revealing who his mom’s biological father was. And so far, he liked to think he had been doing a rather good job of it. The only times he had committed a ‘crime’ was when he helped people who were seeking asylum or were on the run from a corrupt local government. Sometimes Ben did jobs for people whose motives might be considered shady, but he stayed away from any criminal organizations. He did not want to fall into that kind of life, as his dad had at his age.

In the days when Ben and his father had stayed in contact, Han had warned him plenty about not repeating the same mistakes—not that Han exactly practiced what he preached, but that was another story. He almost wondered what his father was up to now. But they had not spoken for some time, not since Han realized his son was going to continue doing something he could not agree with. Ben tried not to think about Han for that reason.

It was good work. Ben enjoyed piloting, especially when he got to really test his skills and try out some daring maneuvers. When he had to pilot a large load of passengers or fly a ship not his own it stressed him out. But he had his two droids to help him along, and the pay was good, and he could choose his own hours and turn down a job if he wanted. His life was, all things considered, decent. Far better than what most people got, anyway.

At any rate, this had to be a better life than…whatever had been waiting for him at the Jedi temple if he stayed. Ben did not regret leaving that all behind him.

Luke would probably never forgive him for what Ben did that day, and he was okay with that. The Force may be strong in his family and in him but that did not mean he had to do anything about it. The Force could be a big help in certain emergencies on the job—say, when he needed to do or know something a non-Force sensitive would never be able to. Most recently Ben used the Force to communicate to a pod of giant neebray mantas so they would know he was passing through peacefully and meant no harm. It worked, of course. But Ben did not rely on the Force to get him through the day, unlike his uncle. He did not want the Force guiding his life, and he certainly didn’t need it.

 _I’m not my family. I’m not…Vader,_ he would tell himself over and over.

Like hell he was going to let history repeat itself. Better to not use the Force at all than to follow it and risk that whatever happened to his grandfather would happen to him too. He was better off this way, as just a regular pilot forging his own path. The _galaxy_ was better off this way.

If only his uncle could have understood that.

Ben hopped on a jumpspeeder to head into town. He slung his knapsack over his shoulder which held his comlink, a water canteen, a few random trinkets, and spare change just in case. He also strapped his blaster into his holster; Worlport was a fun city but all kinds of characters were around, so he could never be too careful. Before taking off, Ben checked his account for how many credits he had to buy food and supplies. He winced at the number. He was starting to run low. Dangerously low. And he did not dare dig into his emergency fund.

He had better find a well-paying job and soon. Otherwise, the moment something went down on the ship he would be really screwed. And ideally, he would find a job with a decent up-front payment, easy-going passengers who did not like conversation, and most importantly to him, a job with no strings attached. That couldn’t be so hard to find, right?

~

_The Sith Citadel, Exegol -_ _Month 4, Day 9,_ _34 ABY_

Rey was still holding her injured side as she followed the First Order General into the chambers. The chasms above stretched far beyond what she could see. Statues taller than skyscrapers loomed above them of ancient Sith Lords they spoke of in legends.

Her master, Snoke, had studied all of them over the decades. While he was never taken in by Sidious and trained to become a Sith, he was strong in the Force and well versed in Sith teachings. After many years he had gathered a strong following of others who held the same beliefs. Then, when the Galactic Empire surrendered, Snoke had no choice but to take his followers and hide elsewhere until they could return to the galaxy. Eventually they found an alliance with leaders of the Empire who fled to the far reaches of the Unknown Regions after the war. Both of them had a similar goal in mind: to restore the Empire, and the Sith, to their full glory. Together, they began to rebuild a new army in the Unknown Regions.

Thanks to the Sith Eternal’s aid, the First Order was now ready for war and to take control of the galaxy. But, according to Snoke, that was just the beginning. One day, when the war against the New Republic was over, the Sith Eternal would be free to bring back the Sith teachings to the galaxy, and restore the Dark Side to its full strength. Only a handful in the First Order, such as Pryde, even knew they existed. But that would not be the case for long.

Rey thought of this as she marveled up at the statues, wondering if millennia from how a statue of her would be built here, right alongside Darth Revan and Darth Noctyss, and they would say, _“Remember the great Empress Rey? She ruled the entire galaxy ruthlessly. No one dared defy her. No one dared stand in her way. There will never be another Sith like her again.”_

 _That will be me one day,_ she thought with a smile.

Looking down at her hand, she found the blood had dried and was starting to crumble and stain her fingernails. She brushed the dried blood onto her skirt. She had been trying not to think about how Snoke would punish her for getting herself hurt. He hated when she made mistakes. She was supposed to be perfect. When she was not perfect, she failed him. In recent months she had been improving a lot at avoiding injury when she went to go hunt down her assigned targets. But as always, if Rey felt bored that day and her brain would not stop demanding action and excitement, being careless on purpose always did the trick. It was almost like her own little high. Getting a bad bruise or a cut and her head got a rush of a thrill.

Snoke’s chambers was not so much a ‘chamber’ as it was a dark, gloomy path winding through the Sith Citadel. It was connected to the throne room of the Citadel, which also housed an amphitheater in which the Sith Eternal cult preformed various ceremonies and rituals. Aside from that area there was also a lower level where the Sith Eternal resided. When they were not working tirelessly on building the fleet, they were training thousands to become the new military to help them rule the galaxy one day. The most prominent members of the cult were the highly educated engineers and scientists, the backbone of all their hard work. As it were, thanks to Snoke’s influence, the teachings of the Sith had found its way to individuals from all walks of life, and Snoke had specifically targeted those who would help aid the cult and the First Order.

Unlike her old home, the Sith Citadel never saw natural daylight, never felt a gust of wind that did not carry biting sand with it, never a night where the crackling electricity could not be heard outside. Instead, everything about their home here was built from nothing. The cult had worked effortlessly to make this a safe hiding place for decades, until it was their time to rise again that is. The light came from machines and the life came from machines. So much genius and handiwork no matter where you looked in the Citadel.

Inside the chambers Rey saw her Master. Snoke sat upon a large throne crafted out of obsidian rock, wearing a golden robe that had been carefully stitched together by hand by Sith Eternal slaves. He was Human…well, mostly Human, that is.

Rey knew little about her master’s past before he founded the Sith Eternal, but there were quite enough rumors and little hints to give her an idea. One rumor was that he was in the inbred offspring of a Human with an undefined alien species with longer lifespans. That theory supported the deformed bone structure and fragile health that rendered him all but helpless in physical combat. Another theory was that his conception and birth were planned by now-deceased Sith loyalists, dedicating him to the Dark Side, his soul claimed by Sith teachings from the very beginning. As for his deformed face, Snoke explained they were the result of horrible injuries he had endured many years ago. Whether those were accidental, or injuries brought on in self-mutilation to summon the Dark Side, Rey could only speculate.

She did know, however, that Snoke had been around for over a hundred years and had spent at least half of that time building his cult of Sith loyalists. The reign of the Galactic Empire had been the cult’s finest years. Their community had seen wealth and prosperity, reaching many corners of the galaxy, and even allowing them places in power and to make their voices heard to the public. Some cultists whispered that Snoke had had the opportunity to meet Emperor Palpatine himself in person on a few occasions. But those days were now a mere memory, and their exile to Exegol represented a shadow of what they used to be before Rey was found by Snoke.

She lowered her gaze to the floor, knowing better than to meet his gaze until he asked her to. Idly she noticed the bloodstains on her feet where the ground had cut through her shoes.

“My Lord. I have brought the girl here, as you requested,” General Pryde said.

“Yes, wonderful, General Pryde. I have important news to share with you both.” Snoke’s face was mostly concealed by his hood. Rey remembered how terrified she had been when she first saw him years ago. Truth be told, she had first mistaken Snoke for a poor beggar, some unfortunate soul society had rejected for his appearance. Only after meeting him did she learn that Snoke’s appearance was very deceiving. But despite his haggard, horrific appearance, he had a way with words that could sway a whole room in his favor. He always knew just what to say to get others on his side. Rey knew this from personal experience.

“Come closer, my dear,” Snoke purred.

Rey moved forward and knelt at his feet. She felt his withered, deformed hand on the top of her head. She closed her eyes. His touch made him feel so close and yet so distant. Like he was touching a version of her that did not exist yet. When her master spoke again, his voice was cold.

“You bled.” She said nothing. “ _Rey_. Why did you bleed?”

“One of them threw his dagger at me and cut me. I…I’m sorry, Master,” she said. She wanted to add a quip about maybe if he didn’t give her three boring-as-hell Gran mercenaries to kill she wouldn’t have lost her focus, but she would be caught dead saying something like that to Snoke.

“You’re still too reckless. Too unbalanced.” He let go of her.

His criticism stung. Hurt much worse than that stupid knife. Rey would give anything to hear him give her a compliment on her hard work.

“But we have bigger matters at hand,” Snoke continued. “I am pleased to inform you both that the construction of Starkiller Base has reached its completion.”

Rey’s breath caught in her lungs. _Starkiller Base_ —now that was a popular name spoken around the Citadel.

The base had been the cult and the First Order’s top priority for the past three decades. It was a culmination of tech used by the Galactic Empire along with new technological advances from Imperial sympathizers. The Death Star paled in comparison. From what Rey understood, Starkiller was an entire planet being rebuilt into its own weapon. She had seen a few images of the superweapon but had yet to behold it in its final form. But what she did see had depicted a giant cannon built within the planet.

The fact that Starkiller Base was finished was not one she took lightly. This was the moment they had been waiting for so they could finally show the New Republic they were not a threat to be ignored. And more importantly, Snoke had promised her time and time again she would be assigned to command the base once it was finished. Which meant…

 _No more walking to the canyon and back? Do I get to leave Exegol for real?_ she asked herself hopefully.

“That is wonderful news, my Lord,” the General said, with the slightest hint of a smile.

Rey gave General Pryde a dirty look.

 _You don’t get to be happy about this. That’s_ my _base he’s talking about,_ she thought, knowing she was being greedy, but she couldn’t help it.

“Our next course of action will be preparing the weapon for its first attack,” Snoke continued. “Starkiller Base will give the galaxy a small taste of what is to come.” His milky pale eyes turned towards Rey. “And I will be sending you to the base, Rey.”

“Master? You mean it?” She smiled. She had to hold back a giddy laugh. If she did not know better, she would have jumped up and let out a squeal, but she had to hold that in for later.

“…once you have completed your training.”

And there it was. Always a catch to it. Always the criticism, the disapproval. Rey’s heart sank just as quickly as it had begun to soar.

“How close am I to finishing, Master?” she dared to ask, already preparing to hear the worst.

“You have but one final test,” he said. “A test that will prove if you are truly worthy to inherit the throne and become the ruler of the Sith.”

“I’m ready, Master. I can take any test.”

“Good.” He grinned. “Very good. You will board General Pryde’s ship tomorrow and he will deliver you to your destination.”

 _Of course_ he _knows where I’m going for this big test,_ she thought. Then she heard Snoke’s voice in her head.

_Patience, my child. General Pryde is a higher rank than you as of now, but that will not last for much longer. Soon you will be the one ruling over him, and he will do whatever you ask of him. Complete your training. Surrender completely to the darkness inside you. And the galaxy will be yours._

_Yes, Master,_ she answered him softly.

“Now go, both of you. Rey, clean your wounds.” With a grin, Snoke added, “And make yourself available to the Sith Eternal for the remainder of your day.”

She bit her lip and stood up. Both Master and Apprentice had known for a long time now what he meant by making herself ‘available.’ It meant the same thing since she arrived here, when she was an orphan scavenger just shy of fifteen years old, and he showed her what she could become if she did everything he told her to. When Rey initially saw that vision—her sitting on the Sith Throne with the entire galaxy bent to her will—she could not find it in her to refuse him. She had agreed to obey him, no matter what.

Only after she agreed to it Snoke begin showing her just what it meant to be in his servitude. But by then, Rey had already committed herself to the Sith. There had been no turning back. Only acceptance of it all. And so, for every day since, she gave it all up. Because to surrender to the Dark Side and earn the throne meant not just obeying Snoke, but the Sith Eternal. It meant giving up one’s autonomy until there was nothing inside but the darkness and all the Sith before you. You gave it all to them—mind, spirit, soul, _and_ body.

If Rey could choose any other way to please her master and make herself stronger in the Dark Side, she would take it. Sometimes deep down she wished for another way. But as he had assured her since he found her, there was no other way. It was this or nothing.

“Yes, Master. I will make myself available,” she said without hesitation. Rey went to her quarters, a hole carved into Exegol’s huge rock formations with a lone worklight attached to the ceiling. She had a bed and a chest to store her clothing and a few other belongings so she couldn’t complain. It was better than her home on Jakku, she told herself. Jakku, that patch of nothing in the Unknown Regions, a small desert planet that only landed on major maps due to being the site of the last battle of the civil war. As a result, Jakku was now a wasteland, the wreckage of thousands of Rebel and Imperial ships buried in its sand, and consequently it was a place that scavengers could earn their keep. Jakku was the place people wound up at, the place people went when they had nothing left, a small scab on the galaxy’s unmentionable parts. Rey had been born into that world—a world where as soon as she had been old enough to walk and carry a staff, she had to venture out into the desert to earn her keep. If she didn’t make her quota, she starved. The fact that she had just been a child meant nothing to Jakku’s cruel sands and merciless suns. From the beginning, she had been raised to understand that things like food, water, and shelter must be earned.

Anything was better than Jakku. Yes, even Exegol.

Alone in a cold, mostly empty room, Rey sat down on the bed and grabbed her medkit. After stripping off her tunic she got to work putting disinfectant on her wound, then applying bacta so it would heal. Her harsh life thus far had given her a high pain tolerance, so even a good-sized gash like this felt like no more than a scratch. When Rey finished that she took off her crumbling shoes. Carefully, she treated the cuts on her feet that had found their way through the harsh callouses formed by all those walks to and from the canyon over the years.

Finally, when all her wounds were treated, Rey got to have a drink of water and a bite to eat. Her favorite part of the day. Water came from a canteen that made it taste like chemicals. But it was better than the water from Jakku that had tasted of sand and dirt. Anything was better than Jakku. Her food was the same as it had been since she arrived on Exegol—tasteless, lukewarm cubes that contained all the essential nutrients to sustain her and keep her at her physical peak. Whoever made these stupid things could not be bothered to give them even a little flavor. But Rey was used to it. One day she had stopped having to choke them down and just took it. This food…well, it wasn’t necessarily better than Jakku. But Snoke knew what he was doing when he provided her rations. So how bad could it be? So, again, it was better than Jakku.

Rey had only gotten a couple bites in when she saw someone walk in her room. It was one of the newer members of the Sith Eternal, still donning his robe. Rey’s room had never had a door granting her privacy, just a hole in the wall. It was not necessary and anyway, she wasn’t supposed to have a place of her own. Everything that was hers belonged to Snoke, and the Sith Eternal. Therefore, no door.

Rey had never personally encountered this new member before, so she tensed up a bit. She was there at his initiation ritual, when this man allowed Snoke to completely take control of a young child’s mind, making them a slave to help build his new fleet. That child had been one of Torsten’s own. It was all you had to do to get into the cult—allow your kid to become enslaved. It was that simple.

“Hello, sir,” she said, biting her lip. _Why now? Please, just let me have ten minutes of peace and quiet._

“You can call me Torsten. And you must be the famous apprentice of our Dark Lord?” It was a statement, not a question.

“Duh. Who else would I be?” Rey braced her palms against the bed.

Sir Torsten removed his hood and cloak. They dropped to the floor behind him. He was an older pale-skinned Human male with white hair. Rey, chewing on her bottom lip by now, realized this was the type of Sith Eternal who did not care about conversation or taking his time or staying afterward. He was here to do his business and get his satisfaction and he did not want to take any longer than was needed.

She began working hastily on taking off her belt, her fingers slipping. She had done this hundreds, no, more like thousands of times by now, so why was it still so difficult to get through? This was for the Sith. She belonged to him, and that included her body. It shouldn’t be this hard…it should be easy.

“Can’t you undress any faster?” Torsten quipped.

“Sorry, sorry…” Rey muttered. She tore off the belt and peeled back her robe, revealing her undergarments. Her body still bore the effects of Jakku’s hot suns, covered in freckles and parts of her body permanently tanned. She also had many scars from her training—from both fighting targets and from punishments when she disappointed her master. To Rey, the scars reminded her of the weakness inside her she constantly needed to beat down to win…as well as the fact that pain was a channel to her inner power and strength. Her scars told the story of how she was going to be Empress of the galaxy one day. So it was a good story. It had to be.

He moved closer to her and she watched him kneel on the end of the bed. It was supposed to hurt, as her master had reminded her over and over. Sex was an act of servitude, of giving yourself up completely and proving so with your body. Sex meant you owned nothing of yourself and you were at the mercy of the Dark Side. Pain was good. Pain gave her strength. So, therefore, painful sex was good, and painful sex gave her strength. Sex without pain, in Rey’s mind, wasn’t even sex at all. It was…some other _thing_ she couldn’t even imagine in her head, and she didn’t think she wanted to. Besides, every Sith Eternal cultist knew full well they were allowed, encouraged even, to use the body of Snoke’s apprentice-in-training. Consider it one of the ‘perks’ of being in the cult. She was a prize, a method of release, her servitude a reminder of what she had to give up constantly and wholly in order to fulfill her destiny. It was a win-win.

“They told me what you are,” Torsten said.

_There it is._

“They did?” she asked softly. She had a feeling he was going to say that.

“Yes. That you’re a…” the Sith Eternal’s gaze drifted down to between her legs, studying what he knew was there.

Rey felt her body curl inward, like she was trying to make herself seem, and feel, smaller.

“A freak. A degenerate. Chick with a dick. Take your choice, I’ve heard them all.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, that. I didn’t know people like you were allowed in the Eternal, much less as the Dark Lord’s apprentice.”

“It’s a long story.” By the time Snoke found her on Jakku, she had already been using black market hormone treatment for a few years. He let her keep taking them under the assumption that she would commit to him. Snoke even promised that if she made him proud of her, he would let her have any cosmetic surgeries she wanted one day. It was yet another way he got her to obey him without question.

Rey had always known she was a girl, deep down. Maybe that was part of the reason her parents had been so willing to sell her off for drinking money—wanted to get rid of their freakish ‘son who wanted to wear dresses and have a girl’s name.’ She had no proof that was _why_ , but it wouldn’t surprise her if that was the truth. Some of the Sith Eternal were disgusted by her gender identity and transition, a few found it fascinating, but most were indifferent.

There was no dirty talk, no checking to see if she felt any pleasure, no kissing or touching. Just a stranger using her like she was a toy, a thing. He might as well have stuck his dick in a hole in a wall. But this was how it was supposed to be. It was how it had always been. Rey just clenched her fists and took the pain without even a whimper. As she always did, Rey let her mind wander during it. Today, she thought back to that fateful day. The day she was found wandering the deserts of Jakku, a lone scavenger. As Snoke told her, he had sensed her in the Force for years. Sensed her power and potential. After years of deploying Sith loyalists to search for the source of such power, he discovered her on that wasteland. Of course, at that time in Rey’s life she assumed she was just a nobody. Another poor scavenger stripping old ships for parts to make ends meet. Snoke gave her the opportunity for a better life, and she took it without thinking twice. Now that…that had been a good day. Rey brought herself there and it made everything feel a bit easier to take.

After, Rey cleaned herself up and collapsed on her bed, letting out a deep breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in. If her luck held out, no other cultists would stop by tonight. She just wanted to lie down and sleep and sleep.

_Pain is necessary. Pain is necessary. It’s the only way…_

~

_Worlport, Ord Mantell - Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

The good news was a pilot’s work was easy to find in Worlport.

The bad news was most everyone here would only hire a pilot for illegal work. Keeping his career ‘clean’ was proving to be harder than Ben initially thought.

First things first. He made a few stops at the shops, purchasing food in bulk that would last him a while as well as various supplies they were short on. Once that was done, he sent those to be delivered back to the _Odysseus_ so he could focus on finding work. By then it was past midday, and it was getting to be hot out. Ben rolled up the sleeves of his jacket to the elbow as he walked along. These days he stuck to neutral, practical clothing—blacks, grays, and browns that were comfortable and did not draw too much attention to himself. Maybe some days he would wear one of his fancier shirts, but ‘some days’ were few to come by recently.

Downtown Worlport was a busy place. Chaotic streets that showed how little planning had gone into the city’s construction. You could easily get lost here if you weren’t careful. Ben could reach out to the Force to guide him along if he wanted to, but he opted to stay closed off to it. ‘Only in extreme circumstances’, was his going rule—an ambiguous statement, granted, but in his years of piloting he had come to understand what constitutes it as being ‘extreme’ or not. He kept to himself as he walked along, searching for one of the many sorts of hangouts where folks looking to hire out work could be found. It was not finding work that was hard. It was finding work that would keep him from getting into trouble. He could see it now—Mom traveling halfway across the galaxy to bail him out of jail, Dad either clapping him on the back or giving him a long-winded lecture (it honestly depended on the guy’s mood), and Chewie and Uncle Lando making jokes about it. And Uncle Luke, doing whatever Jedi training nonsense he was up to and having none of it. That was his family, all right.

Eventually, Ben wandered into one of Worlport’s gambling districts and into the first level of a major casino. It was crowded, even for the early afternoon hours. Ben saw a variety of folks drinking, eating, playing games, or just hanging out. It seemed to be a healthy mixture of locals and tourists. Despite Ord Mantell’s seedy reputation, lots of people enjoyed traveling here to see its beautiful nature and landscapes. Ben walked in and began pacing around a bit, just taking it in. He started to feel a bit lonely, watching everyone having a good time with each other. Of course, he never got _quite_ lonely enough to hire an organic first mate. He wasn’t there quite yet. The droids were a handful as it was.

Ben found a table where there a group of four were drinking and chatting. Judging by their gear they appeared to be pilots or mercenaries of some sort. Ben walked up to them and cleared his throat, but before he could ask them anything they spoke up.

“If you’re looking for a job, head to the back room. The door with the two Lasat guards. That’s where you need to go.”

“Right. Thanks.” Ben headed over. The Lasat guards gave him cold looks as he approached.

“What do you want, kid?” one growled, feline ears flicked back.

“I’m a pilot, looking for work? I was told to—”

“Do you have a pass?”

“What?” Ben stiffened. “No, I just—”

“If you don’t have a pass you can’t enter here, sorry.”

“I don’t think your boss would be happy to hear who you’re turning down,” Ben said, opting to pull out a card that had gotten him both in and out of trouble in the past. But screw it. He had no other choice right now.”

“Oh yeah? And who the hell are you?”

“I’m Ben Solo. Son of Han Solo.”

“Solo, the war hero?” one guard grunted.

“No, the smuggler, dummy,” the other retorted. He looked back to Ben and was about to speak again—probably just tell him to shove off—when a woman’s voice rang out behind the guards from the room.

“Wait! Did you say you’re Han Solo’s son?”

 _Ugh, not again,_ Ben thought. _Who did Dad double-cross now?_

The woman approached the doorway, looking Ben up and down. He did not recognize her in the slightest, but he found the tattoo of the piranha beetle on her arm particularly interesting. She had long dark hair pulled back in a tight ponytail and she was armed with two blasters, a rifle slung over her back. Ben estimated her age to be in her mid to late thirties.

“You don’t know me, kid, but your old man and me go way back.” She gave him a warm smile and held out her hand. “I’m Anja Gallandro.”

“Gallandro…” Ben could have sworn his dad mentioned that name to him during one of his rambles about his many adventures, but it didn’t ring a bell. “I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“He’s all right, guys. Any son of Han Solo is more than welcome here,” she said to the guards. “Let him on through.”

With small huffs the guards stepped aside and let Ben pass. He followed the woman inside to a dimly lit room populated by folks dressed much fancier than those in the main room. These must be the people in Worlport who called all the shots. Ben breathed a small sigh of relief and sent a silent thanks to his dad for…whatever he had helped Anja with in the past. He gave Anja a small nod as well as they sat at a table.

“Which is funny,” she added in Ben’s direction, “because I could have sworn that I heard he had a daughter.”

Ben clenched his fists under the table. His stomach went cold. He hadn’t heard that particular remark in a while.

 _I guess, if you want to be very technical about it…she’s not wrong,_ he thought to himself. But like hell he was going to out himself to a total stranger, surrounded by strangers.

“Nope, he got stuck with me instead,” he said, giving Anja Gallandro a slight smirk that was just like Han’s, as if hoping to drive his point home with it. _Please don’t ask any more questions please don’t ask any more—_

“Ah. Do you have a sister, then?”

“Nope. It’s just me.”

“Must have heard wrong, then,” she said with a small frown. “Could have sworn, though…” And just like that the moment had passed.

Ben unclenched his fists and took a small breath of relief. He was not ashamed of who he was, of the transition he had made for himself. If anything it was one of the things he was most proud of. But people could be quite biased about that sort of thing. Some to the level that they would refuse to hire him, not allow him entry to their business, or worse, commit threat of violence or actual violence. He’d faced all of those things at some point or another, and he was sick and tired of it. It wasn’t like being transgender made him any less capable as a pilot, or any less deserving to be in certain public spaces. But people liked to make excuses.

“Yeah, must have heard wrong,” he added to her comment.

“Can I get you a drink, kid?” asked Anja. “My treat.”

“No, thanks. I don’t drink,” he replied. He did not like the feeling of alcohol dulling his senses and slowing everything down in his head. On one occasion several years ago Uncle Lando let him have a taste of some aged rum and Ben despised how it made him feel, so he had gone dry since.

“You gamble?” she asked.

“Not that either.”

“So, then, what brings you here? You lost? Did Han give you the _Falcon_ yet?”

“I’m actually here for work. I’m a pilot for hire,” he said, intentionally neglecting to comment on the bit about Dad’s ship. The idea that he was going to inherit the _Millennium Falcon_ one day certainly did not come from his own family. And anyway, he had his own ship now. If anyone deserved to own that old freighter when the time came, it would be Chewie.

“Ah, you really are Han’s boy then.” Anja smiled. “If that smile you gave just a moment ago didn’t convince me enough. I assume you’re one of the best?”

“I mastered the Tallon Roll maneuver before I was fifteen, if that answers your question.”

She arched an eyebrow at that. Ben never got tired of that look. Yes, he liked to brag about his piloting skills. One thing he was proud to say ran in the family.

“Sure does. I can ask around here and see. There’s always someone around here who could use a good pilot.”

“I can fly anything,” he stated. And he meant it.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone reading this so far!!! Hope you like where it's going!!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> brief mention of previously referenced sexual abuse.

_The Sith Citadel, Exegol -_ _Month 4, Day 10,_ _34 ABY_

The next morning, Rey woke up aching all over, but her heart was soaring. She couldn’t help but smile as she got up and did her morning stretches.

 _A final test,_ thought Rey. _What will it be? What sort of enemy will I have to face down? How many enemies will there be?_ Her mind wandered just thinking of the possibilities.

Rey had dreamed of this day for years. The day her final test would come and she could become a full-fledged Sith. It was so close now she could taste it. The throne room called to her day and night, reminding her of the vision Snoke showed her years ago.

Breakfast was the same tasteless cubes as yesterday’s dinner had been. Luckily, her master had not allowed the Sith Eternal access to her this morning so she could prepare for the journey. Rey was relieved to have at least a couple hours to herself without worrying about someone coming in her room and disrupting her. She opened her chest containing her clothes and opted to grab her long, dark robe that was more like a dress. It was the one she felt prettiest in.

 _No, little one_ , Snoke’s voice in her head interjected.

_Sorry, Master?_

_You will not be wearing those for this trip. I want you to wear your wrappings._

_Oh…yes, Master._ Rey took off the clothes she slept in and began to fold the wrappings over her chest and around her waist. She usually wore these during more intensive combat training. As she dressed she was well aware of Snoke watching her through the Force. He might as well be in this very room, seeing her at her most vulnerable. At first it had humiliated Rey knowing her master was always there to watch her dress and undress, sometimes even watch Sith Eternal use her, but at some point she just got used to it. Either that or letting herself keep being disturbed by it was too exhausting. She began wrapping the garment over both shoulders, then secured it with a utility belt so that the remaining garments went down to just below her knees. On went her training gloves and kneepads. She packed only what she needed in her knapsack—a comlink, a water canteen, and a container with two meals’ worth of the nutrition cubes. Finally, she clipped her lightsaber to her belt and pulled on her boots. She was ready now.

_Very good. This final test will be difficult, my dear. Are you prepared for what you will face?_

_I’m ready for anything, Master. I won’t fail you._

_Go, then. General Pryde is waiting you at the entrance to the Citadel._

Rey fixed her hair as she left the room, pulling the top portion of her hair back and tied it so it would stay out of her eyes. Sith Eternal lined the halls as they went about their duties. They were looking right at her; she sensed it. Rey’s grip tightened on the strap of her knapsack. She didn’t keep count, but Rey could safely guess almost all of the cult members had had sex with her at some point since she arrived here. Some were regulars who used her whenever she was ‘available.’ For others, it was whenever they happened to be between assignments. Again, she didn’t bother keeping track of them anymore, because it didn’t matter. They gazed her up and down as she headed to the entrance of the Citadel. Rey felt a slight tightness in her throat.

For the first time since she was informed of this test, Rey began to feel nervous. What if the test overwhelmed her? What if she failed? What would that mean for her future? Maybe Snoke would be merciful and just have her resume her training until she was ready to try again. But judging how he had disciplined members of the Sith Eternal who displeased him, as well as her own history of minor infractions, Rey doubted it.

More likely, he would cast her aside and find a stronger apprentice. Someone who could actually make him proud.

Just the thought of Snoke abandoning her—like her parents did years ago—made her blood run cold. The lump in her throat swelled and she thought she would cry. Her whole body ached for her master’s affection. For him to say she had made him proud, that he adored her, that he could think of no one else more worthy for the throne. Rey shut her eyes tight as she approached General Pryde.

_I won’t fail. I won’t. I can do this._

The First Order General gave her a small smirk.

“Follow me.” He turned and began walking into the desert. Rey followed obediently.

“So…where are we going?” she asked him. When he didn’t answer, she frowned and caught up so she could look up at him. “You do know where we’re going, right?”

“I know the coordinates of our destination. It is not a familiar location to me.”

“Will there be a big battle? How many enemies am I facing? Oooh, is there lava? Please let there be lava.”

Pryde gave her a dirty look.

“What, not even gonna humor me a little? Please, pretty please?” she cooed.

“Shut up, you little _brat_!”

She flinched when he raised his voice at her. She couldn’t help it. But it worked, and Rey kept quiet for the rest of their walk. Up around the bend of the desert loomed a dark, U-shaped transport. The design looked familiar to Rey as she had seen them coming and going now and then on the planet, but she had never been to one up close much less boarded one. The ship in particular was an _Upsilon-_ class command shuttle, a red glow emitting from the cockpit. Two Sith troopers, in their blood-red armor so bright against the dim, desolate landscape, guarded the open ramp. Rey stared up at the ship, not even bothering to conceal her excitement in front of General Pryde. Pryde, meanwhile, silently walked up the ramp and showed her to the main cargo hold.

“We will arrive at our destination in approximately eight hours. Please, make yourself comfortable,” he said. The two Sith Troopers followed them inside and entered the cockpit.

With that, Rey strapped herself in a seat in the cargo hold. It felt small and cramped and Rey realized she probably felt that way due to being used to the wide open rooms of the Sith Citadel. The ship slowly lifted off, engines rumbling underneath her. Rey took a deep breath, hugging her knapsack. She was so excited and so nervous she might be sick. The last time she had been somewhere other than Exegol was when her master plucked her off Jakku. Would there be lush vegetation, rushing waterfalls, maybe even snow where they were going? Who knows? All sorts of systems could be an eight-hour flight from Exegol.

Once the ship was in hyperspace, Rey took a deep breath. Maybe she should meditate. Or take a nap. Had quite a lot of time to kill, anyway. But she could scarcely close her eyes when she heard a small, high-pitched beeping sound at the other side of the cargo hold. Startled, Rey slammed her feet on the floor. The sound echoed off the walls as she located the source of the sound. Then, at the door, she heard it again.

She blinked. It was two black BB-series astromech droids. The only way to tell them apart was one had a couple light gray scratches on its front, like it had been rough-handled. Or kicked hard by someone wearing sturdy boots.

“Oh. Um, hi.” She waved at them. She interacted some with the droids who ran maintenance and labor in the Sith Citadel, but they all underwent routine memory wipes to keep them docile and completely obedient. Which made them pretty dull and with no real personalities of their own. Not like the small handful of very unique droids Rey had crossed paths with during her years spent as a scavenger. Now those droids had been real characters. “What are your names?”

The one with the scratches on its front told her its name was BB-T0. The other one just looked at her.

“Well, hello Tee-Oh. I’m Rey.” She waved at the droid again.

General Pryde sat down and strapped himself in the seat across from her. The droids both backed away and left the Humans alone. A moment later, Pryde opened a container within the wall, revealing a bottle and several chilled glasses. Pryde opened the bottle and poured himself a drink. It was a deep purple color that Rey didn’t recognize.

“Would you like some wine, Rey?” When she just blinked at him in response, Pryde chipped, “Oh, yes, I forgot. Master Snoke would not allow alcohol in your diet for the time being. Not the sort of thing Sith apprentices should be consuming.” He shut the container and it retracted back into the wall with a soft _hiss_.

“I don’t need stuff like that,” she defended. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind, even the smell of liquor made her feel something… _bad_. It made her feel helpless, empty, and scared, like she was nothing. Like she wasn’t safe. Rey clenched her fists and shut her eyes. “And yeah, Master Snoke says no. He says I need to stay perfectly healthy for him. So I have a strict diet.”

“Perhaps when you are Empress one day as he says you will be, that will change.”

“Huh? Oh, I dunno. Maybe.” She squeezed her fists harder, willing the bad feeling to go away. She did not know where it came from. Why that smell triggered that reaction in her to either run, put her guard up, or freeze in place. She always chose the third option until the feeling went away. Rey glared at Pryde, wishing he would finish his drink already, so she didn’t have to smell it anymore. But he seemed to be in no hurry, and took but a small sip from his glass.

“If he really does intend for you to rule the galaxy, young Rey, you must become accustomed to various eat and drink for social occasions.”

“I don’t want wine. Cake sounds good, though. And cookies.” Rey had had a couple chances to eat sweets during her time on Jakku. She had stolen them from a merchant passing through; almost got caught, too. Gods, she had long forgotten the taste of sugar. But she remembered that she had loved it. She tried not to indulge that fantasy for the time being—sitting on a throne, eating all the cake she wanted, everyone following her orders—but Pryde’s endless rambling wasn’t helping matters. She had to focus and here he was talking about booze, of all things. Cake would come later.

Pryde just shook his head at her comment.

“Such a child you can be sometimes,” he said.

“My master didn’t tell you to say any of this, did he?” she asked, her head swimming. “He’s just trying to get me distracted on purpose. Well, it’s not gonna work.” She stuck out her tongue at him. “So there.”

“You will need preparation for the role of Empress, and he knows this. Even if he has yet to express it to you himself.” He sipped from his wine again.

“But I need to finish my training first. I’ll have plenty of time to worry about all the Empress stuff later.”

“Quite right. That’s why I say all of this from a hypothetical sense. If you pass this final test—”

“When,” she interrupted, lower lip jutting out.

“ _If_ you pass this test,” he said stubbornly, “you will begin a new chapter of your life. One in which you will still have much to learn before you’re ready to rule the galaxy.”

“Bring it.” She cocked her head at him. “I’m ready for anything.”

That response seemed to give Pryde some sense of pleasure. Rey did not like his smile at all.

“What?” she snapped.

“What I said before, about not knowing where we were going. That was not true. In fact, we’re going somewhere you have been before.”

“What? But I’ve only been two places! Exegol and…” She couldn’t say it out loud. The word brought up too much hurt. The abandonment. The brutality. The loneliness.

_Jakku._

The general’s smile was a dead giveaway. Rey’s throat throbbed and she clenched her fists even tighter, scratching at her palms until she felt her blood underneath her fingernails.

_No, no, Master, no…I can’t go back there._

But Snoke did not answer her. He heard her, she knew; she could always sense when he was listening to her through the Force, her thoughts belonging to him as much as her. But he did not respond to her pleas.

It was just her now. Her, and the last place in the galaxy she wanted to be.

~

_Worlport, Ord Mantell - Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

With Anja Gallandro’s help, Ben Solo found a relatively simple and well-paying job.

His new employer was an elderly Cerean man, Pelum-Ninn Ubal, who needed transportation to his homeworld on the other side of the galaxy. He was a wealthy ecologist renowned on Cerea for his research on the local vegetation and habitats, and he was more than happy to pay Ben handsomely for the journey. The Cerean introduced Ben to his bodyguard, a Twi’lek women who couldn’t be older than twenty-five standard years. Between the two of them they had fancy layered robes, intricately designed to show off the wealth they came from, as well as assortments of jewelry which included giant beautiful headpieces for their large cone-shaped craniums. In front of them, Ben felt underdressed in his casual black jacket, tunic, pants, and dirtied up combat boots. But he didn’t dress for attention.

Ben accepted the job and just like that, he had enough money in his account and plenty more on the way. They would leave first thing in the morning.

Back on the _Odysseus,_ Ben spent the rest of the day preparing the ship for its new passengers. He tidied up the guest cabins, cleaned the kitchenette, and had the floors swept up. By then he was half-starved and ready for a hot meal, which K8 got right to work on right away so Ben would have time to clean up and chart their course.

“Did you find us a job?” Delta asked as he followed Ben into the refresher.

“Yes, actually. I did. Some rich fellow who needs a ride to Cerea. We’re getting 15,000 for this with 5,000 paid up front.” Ben took off his clothes and tossed them into a heap on the floor. Delta scooped down and picked them up to get them washed.

“Did you ask him why he cannot take public transportation? Surely if he’s that wealthy he would prefer one of those luxury starliners instead. You know, the ones with pilots that pick up after themselves and get regular haircuts.”

“That crossed my mind too so I did ask him,” Ben said, ignoring Delta’s insult on purpose. “He’s afraid of the First Order, so he told me. Apparently, they have been trying to take hold of the main hyperspace routes. Bought out a few luxury liners. They check each passenger onboard, and anyone who has spoken out against the First Order isn’t allowed on. Sometimes they are shot on sight.” Ben avoided those main routes too, so this had been news to him when Pelum-Ninn Ubal informed him about it. He started up the shower, the hot water already steaming up the room. He stepped in and closed the glass door.

“That is not good,” muttered Delta.

“Not for those corporations, it isn’t. But it’s good for freelancers like us.” He’d be caught dead before selling himself out to some big-name company, piloting a ship that wasn’t his and working on someone else’s terms. He could never live like that.

“I thought you despised the First Order,” said Delta, who was working on washing the clothes in the adjacent laundry facility.

“I do. But I’m not going to pretend there isn’t a few silver linings to them being around.” Ben held his head under the water until his thick, long dark locks were soaked. He wasn’t sure how socially acceptable it was to let your droids see you naked when you showered, but he had been a bachelor for his whole piloting career so far, so he didn’t care. It didn’t bother him and it didn’t bother K8 or Delta. “If people are scared of them, that means a lot more work for us. And people are going to pay well to hide. So thanks, First Order,” he added with a small smile of his own.

“How so, sir? If you ask me it seems the First Order’s only objective is tearing apart what your parents risked everything to build.”

 _Well, putting it that way just makes me look like an asshole,_ he thought, rolling his eyes as he began scrubbing himself down. Maybe the First Order would be around a bit longer, but they’ll be gone soon. But in Ben’s opinion, anyone who thought they were an actual threat to the New Republic was just being paranoid. They were just a bunch of Imperials living in a fantasy where the Empire won the civil war.

But this new information from Pelum-Ninn Ubal disturbed him a bit. If the First Order could take control of some of the passenger liners, what would be next? Would shipping and fueling companies sell out to them for a profit? If the First Order got their hands on major fuel supplies, that could mean big trouble for everyone. Prices could skyrocket; entire systems who defied the First Order could have access to fuel cut off completely. It could get ugly.

When Delta didn’t hear a reply from Ben, the droid went on his way to finish more work around the ship. After his shower, Ben put on a clean pair of clothes and scarfed down the hot meal prepared by K8. As night fell on Ord Mantell, he pulled up a chair at the navigation computer. Ben began running the numbers, talking aloud to himself.

“Okay, Delta. Double check these for me. Coordinates starting at current location. Start on the Celanon Spur then go past the Freestanding Subsectors. Bypassing the Deep Core to avoid the gravity wells will add about eight hours. Destination I-16 puts us to…arrival in 39.5 hours.”

“Calculations on my part show you are correct, sir.”

“Well, thank you. I try.” Ben took care to plot their route around the Deep Core as well as a few locations on the map Ubal had warned him about where the First Order could be lurking. Ben was aware of those locations too, as was most any pilot nowadays. First things first, he had to know how much of what Pelum-Ninn Ubal said was accurate. If he should really start viewing the First Order as a viable threat rather than a group of fanatics overestimating themselves.

He knew what he needed to do. If there was anyone who could confirm that information with him, it would be his mother.

~

_Republic City, Hosnian Prime - Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

Leia Organa—former Princess of Alderaan and resigned Populist Senator, currently a General of the newly formed Resistance—responded to the incoming message on her comlink. It was from her son. As exhausted as she was after another long day trying to convince a bunch of ignorant, materialistic politicians of the viable threat of the rising First Order, Leia didn’t have the heart to ignore his call tonight.

She sat up a little straighter and gave him a small smile when his hologram appeared. Subtly she set her dinner and beverage to the side of the table and shut off her holocomputer. When was the last time she saw him in person? Must have been at least three months now. He was on Hosnian Prime for a few days just to see her but that had ended much too soon. They both had their own lives that kept them very busy these days.

At least they saw each other more often now than when he had been training at Luke’s temple. In those days, she was lucky to get a hologram message a few times a year, if that.

She had missed so much of his growing up years. She had missed his first day at the Jedi Temple. His first testosterone injection. His first day he held his own lightsaber. And there was no way to get those back. All they had now was whatever time she was able to find.

 _“Hey, Mom.”_ He gave her a tired smile. Ben’s hair was growing long again, falling over his eyes when he didn’t pull it out of the way. That smile that was just like Han’s. Made her think of her husband every time.

“Ben.” She smiled back, hoping she didn’t look as tired as she felt. “How is work? You taking care of yourself?”

_“It’s going well. Keeping me busy but I like being self-employed. I’ve actually been…thinking of stopping by again, to come and visit.”_

“Oh…you know I’d love for you to visit, but it’s not—”

 _“A good time, I know,”_ he cut her off, then sighed. _“You say that every time I bring it up.”_

“I’m sorry, but I have a lot to take care of right now. Ever since I resigned as Senator and began to lead the Resistance, it’s been nonstop. I hardly have time to keep up with anything else going on, much less get enough sleep most nights. If I had the time—”

 _“If you had the time you’d come see me. Yeah.”_ He had put the words in her mouth and it stung. They loved each other, but their relationship had always rode on a tense line. A line where Ben desperately needed connection and validation, and Leia put those things into her work. And it wasn’t that she didn’t care about her son or how he was; in a perfect world, she would have been there for all his ‘firsts’ and would prove time and time again how proud of him she was.

But this wasn’t a perfect world. This was a world filled with politicians who could not care less about making sure a man like Emperor Palpatine never rose into power again as long as they could get some extra money out of it. A world where regimes like the First Order could rise out of the Empire’s ashes and threaten nearly three decades of nonstop work. A world where people were sick of war and thus wanted nothing to do with stopping the First Order. This was her reality. The end of the Empire had been just the beginning of a seemingly nonstop process to help piece a broken galaxy back together, and Leia sometimes feared she wouldn’t live to see the end of it.

And she had to wonder, at what point did the future of the galaxy come before family relationships? At what point was your only son no longer allowed to complain that you were never there for him during his most formative years because you were trying to help ensure that future generations would not suffer as yours had? Was it worth losing all that time with Ben in the hope that he lived to see a galaxy at peace? When did you draw the line?

Leia liked to think she had been raised to know how to draw that line. But times always changed. She had had to constantly reevaluate her own convictions, what was most important. Becoming a mother just complicated matters.

 _“Make sure you’re taking care of yourself too, Mom,”_ he said in all seriousness. Her son, of all people, knew how much her work could get the better of her. Mostly because he was the same.

“I know, and I’m trying. But the work isn’t getting any easier, or less complicated.” Leia wrung her hands in her lap. She had told herself she wouldn’t bring this up in front of Ben the next time they talked—but every time she could not help it. Maybe it was better for him to leave his Jedi training and forge his own path apart from the Force, but Leia sometimes had a sinking feeling that Ben was making a mistake. “We can use pilots like you in the Resistance.”

 _“You say that every time we talk,”_ he said bitterly. _“And my answer is going to stay the same.”_

“Because I mean it. The First Order is growing stronger. And I’m trying so hard to get support from the Senate, but they won’t listen. They’re so busy fighting each other they can’t see the big picture.”

Then her son said something that honestly surprised her, even though it was information she already knew.

_“I heard they’ve taken control of several major trade routes. Passenger liners too.”_

“It’s true,” Leia answered, and looked away for a moment. “If the Senate doesn’t finally decide to do something about this, the situation will worsen. That’s why I keep bringing this up with you.”

 _“I know, I know. You need the best pilot in the galaxy and all.”_ Ben sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. _“I just don’t know if I could do it. Follow orders day in and day out.”_

“I know, kiddo.” Oh, she knew all right. “Sometimes we have to let go of our pride and do what’s asked of us.”

_“I’ll…think about it, okay?”_

“Let me know if you ever change your mind.” She couldn’t hold back a sigh. Ben had his father’s free spirit, and his mother’s stubbornness. He did not want to be tied down to anything or anyone. But at the same time Ben had always had a big heart for others, sometimes almost to a fault. When he loved, he loved with everything in him. He was in it all or nothing. And when he resolved himself to a cause, he would never give up until he saw it through.

 _“You know I will, Mom.”_ Ben paused. _“Love you.”_

“Love you too.”

_“Gotta go?”_

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

 _“No, it’s okay. I need to go too. Love you,”_ he said again before he disconnected.

Leia leaned back in her seat, having already forgot her food was getting cold. She rubbed the bridge of her nose several seconds, knowing someone was in the doorway watching her but waiting to see if he would speak first. Then the young pilot cleared his throat.

“Best pilot in the galaxy, huh?”

“How long you were standing there, Commander Dameron?”

“Long enough.” He stepped into the room, hands clasped behind him. “My apologies, General. I think you’re right, though. We could use pilots like your kid. Don’t see why he’s so stubborn about it.”

“Because he’s Han’s kid as much as mine, that’s why,” Leia said with a sad smile, which Poe replied with his own little knowing smirk. Leia had heard more than enough stories about how much Han and Poe clashed, but when they got along nothing could stop him. The moment was short-lived, however. “Did we hear back from Starling?”

“Yes, General. Just received the transmission from the Batuu system thirty minutes ago. That’s why I’m here.” Poe looked down for a moment, as if preparing for what he was about to say next. “And it’s…bad. Our fears were confirmed about what the First Order is planning.”

“In that case, we have a lot to talk about. And I have a mission. Specifically for you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who has read the story so far!!! This one was fun because the outpost where Galaxy's Edge takes place makes a brief appearance! No I haven't gone there yet sadly, but someday I really hope to ^^
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -brief mention of transphobia

_Black Spire Outpost, Batuu -_ _Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

On a normal evening, Vi Moradi would be starting to wind down for the evening.

Maybe she would pull up a seat at the bar and order a nice strong drink. Maybe walk around the outskirts of the city a bit, enjoying the fresh air and lush vegetation Batuu had to offer. And if she was feeling too tired she might just head to a hotel and call it a night. But this was not a normal evening.

Vi Moradi may have just begun her most important mission of all.

She walked down the street, avoiding the locals except when they would politely say “Rising moons” to her in passing, to which she would respond with the same. Her hands were in her pockets, her head lowered so that her dark hair, dyed blue at the tips, fell over her eyes. The last thing Vi wanted to do right now was draw unnecessary attention to herself. After all, the First Order almost certainly had twice as many spies out there as the Resistance, if not more than that. Even in a place like Black Spire Outpost, they could be anywhere. And Vi Moradi had just narrowly escaped a Star Destroyer with her life.

By now they certainly would have figured out someone had been aboard that wasn’t welcome, and they would be on the hunt for her. There was a target on her head, and she was in a race against time to complete the mission before they got to her first. She knew how to appear inconspicuous, given her years of training to be a spy, so this wasn’t the difficult part. But even despite herself, Vi found her breath quickening slightly at the prospect of just what she had discovered on the Star Destroyer. The truth she had uncovered and the horror of what was about to unfold.

Vi walked down Savi’s Path until she found a back alley that was unlit and nobody was around. This would have to do. Wasn’t ideal, but the last thing she wanted was for the First Order to find her before she got the chance. She stole a glance over her shoulder before stepping into the alley. If she was being followed, she’d have to deliver the message and quickly. She activated her com and spoke into it.

“This is Agent Starling, reporting in. I have an urgent transmission for General Leia Organa,” she said into the com.

The Resistance soldier on the other end responded promptly.

_“Reading you loud and clear, Starling. Retransmitting you…now.”_

“General Organa,” Vi began, “this is Agent Starling. I’ve just returned from the _Finalizer_. My presence was not detected but they’ll figure out there was a security breach, so I’ll have to be brief.

“I was able to decode a mission codenamed ‘Operation: Supernova.’ This mission was delivered from the First Order High Command as highest priority. It details deploying several elite First Order legions to attack a number of locations where known Resistance intel is kept.” She paused a bit to swallow, her throat dry. “Operation Supernova’s purpose is to discover the location of Master Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Temple…and destroy it, and all the Jedi.

“General, the plan will be in effect in a matter of less than a week when the first attacks will commence. I was able to decode two of the known Resistance locations that are going to be attacked, and will be transmitting them to you. If there is anyone who personally knows where the Jedi Temple is, Operation: Supernova also intends to find them and extract that information, through whatever means necessary.

“This is Agent Starling, signing out. May the Force be with you.”

~

_Kelvin Ravine, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 10,_ _34 ABY_

It was almost sunset.

Above the barren desert sand dunes, sparsely populated by the ghosts of the old war, a lone ship could be seen in the sky. A stark, black image against the endless span of clouds turning an array of orange, pink, and yellow as the sun slowly sank behind the hills. Skeletons of Imperial and Rebel ships scattered the land, stripped of parts and any markings faded away by years of sandstorms. No life could currently be seen on the surface, although if one looked long enough one might see a ripper-raptor darting across the sky to find shelter, or a steelpecker picking at a piece of scrap metal half-buried in the sand. But other than these few small remnants, the wilderness stretched out in all directions as a vast, open nothingness. A sight that to some meant an escape from whatever they were running from

The _Upsilon-_ class command shuttle slowly landed on the top of a dune overlooking a massive canyon. Inside, the young Sith in training was visibly trembling.

His instructions had been simple enough. Three days. Three days alone in the deserts of Jakku. No food, no water, no one with her. The Dark and the Light surrounding her on all sides, tormenting her and testing the limits of her body, mind, and spirit.

Twenty miles away from the dropoff point, located on the other side of the Kelvin Ravine, Rey would find a small village called Tuanul. A small handful of members of the Church of the Force resided there, preserving old Jedi lore and holding all their belief in the Light Side of the Force. All she had to do was go there on foot, in three days or less, and kill everyone in the village. A First Order ship would be there at the end of the third day to pick her up.

That was all. So simple yet seemed so impossible.

 _Master…please, I can’t do this…not Jakku, anywhere but Jakku…_ Rey pleaded to Snoke. She had begged to him several hours ago when General Pryde first informed her where they were going. Snoke had ripped into her mind as punishment until she submitted. But, unable to control herself, Rey found herself reaching out to her master again.

As if his answer was going to be any different. Maybe she wanted to be punished.

Sure enough, pain—white hot, blinding, like a light brighter than the sun directly at her eyes, only it was inside her head, not causing pain to the body but pain to every thought, every emotion, and every memory—coursed through her head. Rey squeezed her eyes shut and just sobbed silently. She had learned a long time ago that screaming for help or mercy was pointless.

 _Do you want to complete your training?_ Snoke asked, his voice so loud in her head she couldn’t hear anything else.

“Yes…” she whimpered aloud.

_Do you want to become everything you were destined to be?_

“Yes, Master.” The pain increased. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt like her head was going to explode. She couldn’t even think, it hurt so much.

And then, just like that, it was over. Rey gasped for air and wiped her cheeks with her palms. Snoke’s answer had been perfectly clear. When she looked up, General Pryde was looking at her, his eyes as cold and dead as the statues of those ancient Sith in the Citadel. She heard the ramp behind them open, softly landing on the sand. Sand that had shaped her, molded her into what she had now become. Sand that still stung her skin in her nightmares.

“In three days, I will have a shuttle arrive to pick you up from Tuanul,” Pryde said simply. He handed her a canteen, which Rey snatched, knowing it would be the last time she got to drink water for the next 72 hours. She drank deeply. This wasn’t Pryde being compassionate, she knew; he was doing this under orders. He also let her have one single nutrition cube before she had to turn in her knapsack. Obviously, she would have no need for it.

“Right. See ya then.” Rey stood up and gave him a small mock salute, just so he’d have to have that image of her ingrained until they met again. She walked down the ramp and shortly after heard the transport lift off and ascend into the atmosphere.

Already, the sights and smells were bringing back the horrors of her childhood, and Rey felt sick. This was going to be a living hell. Facing her own past and whatever the Force would confront her with out there in the canyons. That wasn’t even taking into account what she had to do when she arrived at the village. But Rey had three whole days to worry about that part.

She felt the hilt of her lightsaber clipped to her belt, feeling a strange sort of comfort from it. It was just her and her weapon for the next three days. She was alone. And she had to prove to Snoke that that was enough.

With no other choice, Rey began to walk.

~

_Republic City, Hosnian Prime - Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

Leia shut off the transmission from Vi Moradi and looked up at the Commander. Poe was leaning forward in his seat, elbows braced on his knees, staring at the spot where Vi Moradi’s hologram image had been just moments ago. They were both thinking the exact same thing, and Leia knew it.

“If the First Order finds out about your son…”

“Yes,” Leia said, barely above a whisper. “Ben and I are the only ones who know where the Jedi Temple is. Not even Han knows; he was kept in the dark for this very reason. Luke kept its location a secret from the New Republic to protect themselves. He didn’t want the Jedi Order to fall apart like before. Didn’t want them to be turned into pawns for a political scheme.”

“So what do we do? What do you want _me_ to do?”

Leia pulled up a hologram of one of the Resistance bases.

“We had a map to the Temple recorded and stored at our base on D’Qar, in the event we needed the aide of the Jedi in an emergency. I need you to go there and secure that map. If it comes down to it, destroy the map before the First Order can get their hands on it.”

“If this doesn’t constitute as an emergency, I don’t know what does.” Poe folded his hands in front of him, shaking his head. “What about Skywalker? Can’t we send him a warning or something?”

“Not so easy. The Jedi are out of contact. Food and supplies are shipped to a remote space station for pickup. Once in a rare while I might hear from Luke when he visits there, but they are almost entirely self-sufficient.”

“You’ve got to convince him to join our cause. Either you or Ben.” Poe clenched his fists. “We could really, _really_ use a Jedi’s help right about now.”

“The Jedi aren’t soldiers. Never were, never will be. But…” Leia looked up. “They are peacekeepers. And the First Order is threatening the peace we’ve worked so hard to bring back. I’ve been hoping we wouldn’t need to bring the Jedi into this, but—”

“But at this point, it comes down to now or never, doesn’t it?” Poe finished for her.

She nodded grimly. Poe swallowed and sat up straight in his chair, tousling his long dark locks. In her mind, Leia played back the message from Vi Moradi. She thought of her brother, out there rebuilding the Jedi Order from the ground up. Luke had studied the history of the Jedi from the old Republic days, how they were pulled into the Clone Wars and manipulated by forces from within the Senate. He never wanted that to happen again, and so instead of involving themselves in the formation of the New Republic, they became more or less hermits studying the ways of the Force. Leia wanted to respect her brother’s work and not call to the Jedi unless there was no other option.

And the way things seemed these days, their options were growing more and more limited.

Poe interrupted her thoughts when he softly cleared his throat.

“I’ll have to talk to Luke. I can’t guarantee they will come, but…we have to try.”

“General, I hate having to ask a question like this, but if the First Order found Ben, would he…?” Poe didn’t finish the sentence.

Leia looked away. This was the sort of situation she and Han had discussed when they found out she was pregnant, and had prepared for it as best they could. Being the child of two war heroes, both of which had made many enemies over the years, they knew there was always the risk that Ben would be captured by any number of said enemies. Whether for ransom, information, or revenge. Because of that, Leia and Han consulted with a few professionals to train Ben in the event he ever underwent interrogation. That, coupled with his strength in the Force, meant he would be resilient and quicker to recover from the trauma.

But this was the First Order they were talking about. This was information they would stop at nothing to get, and the last thing they cared about was the casualties. She felt a cold pit form in her stomach.

“He’s prepared. But I don’t know how much,” she finally answered. “And that’s assuming the First Order will even figure out he knows where the Temple is, much less find him and take him into custody. I have faith in him.”

“Well, that’s a relief. But we’ve got to warn him all the same. At least let him know what the First Order is planning.”

“I agree. I’ll take care of that. _You_ need to worry about D’Qar.” Leia looked him right in the eye. “Secure that map. We cannot let the Jedi Order die.”

~

_Ord Mantell - Month 4, Day 13,_ _34 ABY_

“So…” Ben glanced over his shoulder at his passenger’s Twi’lek bodyguard, “you, uh, got a name or something?”

The woman just looked at him. She had on way more jewelry than she needed, and a similarly intricate gown that she wore yesterday, clearly indicating her social status. Her bluish-green skin had a few tattoos on the lekku as well as the backs of her hands. The most important of note was the A280-CFE blaster secured to her belt. Ben didn’t care what her name was; he just wanted to make light conversation. Anything to pass the time.

They had been in hyperspace for almost twelve hours now and still had a long ways to go. Up until now, Ben hadn’t seen much of either of his passengers. They had both been up the whole night before apparently so eight of those twelve they both spent asleep in their cabins. Then Ben was tied up with scheduled maintenance checks, having something to eat, taking a quick nap, then back to square one. K8 helped him check in on the passengers, addressing any of their needs. Then while he was in the cockpit keeping an eye on things, the Twi’lek bodyguard walked in and sat down. That had been about ten minutes ago, and since then neither of them had spoken a word to each other.

“I’m…Duni,” she said, almost in hesitation. Her hands were folded in her lap.

Her Cerean employer, meanwhile, had settled in on the second deck of the ship in one of Ben’s best cabins, the one with the luxury bathtub and its own kitchenette and living area. Ben had spent the better part of last night making sure the room was ready. Only his most prestigious passengers chose those cabins since he charged extra for them. For now, since Ben was occupied in the cockpit, K8 took on the role of fulfilling passenger’s requests, essentially being a butler droid. Which reminded Ben, when he had the extra credits he should really look into getting one of those for the ship. K8 was too good to be busy running simple errands.

“Well, Duni, we’ve got over 24 hours left to kill, so help yourself to—“

“How do you…manage such a big ship like this, all by yourself?” she cut him off. Her Basic was slightly broken. She had a strong accent, and he could see her mentally struggling to find the right words. Which struck Ben as odd, considering that when he discussed this job with them back in Worlport she did not seem to have any difficulty keeping up with the conversation. He made a mental note of that for later.

“I’m not all by myself,” he answered her. “I have two droids to help me.”

“Still. Two droids, one man. Big ship.” Duni—if that was even her name—gave him a shy smile.

“Most of the ship goes unused. Just empty space for storage and spare parts.” He leaned back in his chair. “But ships like this are more resilient. Can make long distances and take a lot of hits.”

“Mm. I see. It’s a good ship. Strong. Lots of…work put into it.” Duni ran her hand over the fine leather of the seat’s arm as if admiring it. She wasn’t wrong. Ben was always adding modifications to the _Odysseus_.

“Sure is.” Ben crossed his legs to get more comfortable. “So, tell me. What does an old fellow like him need a bodyguard for, anyway?” He was bored, mostly, but he was also curious. And he considered it a question worth asking.

“He’s old. Cannot protect himself.”

“Who would he need protecting from, then?” Ben arched an eyebrow.

Duni just gave him another smile and folded her hands together over her knee.

“You ask many questions, Captain Solo.”

“Are they questions I’m not supposed to be asking?”

“Maybe it’s my turn to ask questions. Where is your copilot?”

He frowned, noting the information she had avoided providing to him. Was it anything he should be concerned about? He had found it slightly strange that an old Cerean man, with lots of money and from a normally peaceful culture, would have an armed bodyguard with him at all times. There was the chance this Pelum-Ninn was just paranoid of the First Order, or perhaps of a common thief robbing him of all that nice jewelry or worse, holding him for ransom. That was highly probable. But that didn’t mean Ben could just kick back and take it easy for the trip. He had questions. Questions that had deliberately gone unanswered.

“I don’t have a copilot. Don’t need one.”

“Do you get…lonely? No one to talk to in the dark?”

Duni leaned forward and it wasn’t until she had her hand on the arm of his chair that Ben finally realized what was going on.

_Oh…she’s flirting with me._

“I don’t mind,” Ben said, feeling his mouth run dry as he leaned back a bit to give her the hint. Gender wasn’t a factor in who he was attracted to, and the galaxy was full of them; in almost every society you visited you could find communities for multiple genders other than male or female. In just Core Worlds Human society alone, where Ben had spent the first several years of his childhood, there were dozens. So that wasn’t the issue here. Rather, Ben hadn’t had the best of luck when it came to his romance-slash-sex life. Years ago, he had messed around with some of the other Jedi students, because they were all teenagers and full of raging hormones _and_ in the middle of nowhere ( _so no, Uncle Luke, you shouldn’t have acted so surprised that happened_ ). He’d had several other encounters over the years but nothing serious. And now and then of course he had to deal with those who viewed transgender people as something of a fetish or sexual experiment.

“You sure, Ben Solo? Maybe you _are_ lonely.” Duni cocked her head at him slightly. She reached out to touch his shoulder and Ben politely moved her hand away.

“I said I’m fine.”

“Sometimes men don’t know they’re lonely, until they’re not lonely. You understand?”

“This isn’t professional,” he said flatly. She was gorgeous, sure, but messing around was the last thing on his mind right now. He had a job to do and he couldn’t be getting distracted. And here was the million-credit question. _If I tell her I’m transgender, will that turn her off, make her want it more, or not change things at all?_

“Oh, who cares? My boss is fast asleep.” She grinned.

When was the last time he’d done something like this? It must have been with the man from Coruscant a couple months ago, who Ben met in a hotel lobby. Ben hadn’t been interested initially, but the guy kept pushing and showed Ben the toys and tools at his disposal. So Ben let the man put cuffs on him and play with him and fuck him for a few hours that night. The sex had been good, but that’s all it was. Just two guys who were strangers again as soon as the sun came up. Ben didn’t even remember the man’s name.

“Duni, I think you’re—” But Ben’s sentence was cut off when Delta rushed into the cockpit. He pulled away from her, just a hint of physical desire having creeped in at that point but not quite enough to act on.

“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Delta asked, knowing damn well that’s exactly what he was doing.

“What is it, Delta?” Ben asked, running his fingers through his hair.

Duni sat back in her seat, hands in her lap again as if nothing had happened.

“I have detected a risk of malfunction in the null quantum field generator. I suggest we exit hyperspace and assess the unit before resuming the journey.”

Ben sighed and stood up. Great. A delay. Hopefully this wouldn’t set them back more than an hour. Duni looked up at him and arched an eyebrow.

“Resilient, you said?”

“Don’t start,” he muttered at her, then turned to his droid. “Right. Let’s go take a look.”

As Delta took the ship out of hyperspace, Ben headed down to the rear of the ship towards the engines. On the way there he grabbed his toolkit and a dirty rag just in case. Ben descended down the sets of ladders until he reached the engine room. Then he got to work assessing the field generator to locate what Delta had supposedly detected. The seeker droid in question approached him from behind.

“Good catch, Delta. If this had gone unnoticed much longer it could have crashed the hyperdrive unit and caused a lot more damage.”

“I do my best. And sir, I should also let you know it appears your mother is attempting to contact you.”

“Don’t have time for that right now. I’ll reply her message later. Right now, let’s get to work repairing the generator then get the system back online. But start by calculating how long this could take us.”

Delta ran the numbers for a couple seconds, then replied,

“This will take us at least two and a half hours to repair, assuming everything comes back online with no delays or unforeseen problems.”

Just what Ben had been expecting. They would be essentially sitting ducks in the middle of nowhere for about three hours. It was moments like this when he debated if going without a sentient co-pilot was the best idea.

He rolled up his jacket sleeves and lowered himself into the unit. It was about to get dirty. He poked up his head up as he remembered one thing.

“Tell our passengers about the delay, won’t you? Try to be polite about it too.”

Delta began to leave.

“Oh, and make me a pot of caf, please. And bring me a cup when it’s ready.”

He could have sworn the droid made a whirring sound that mimicked a Human ‘sigh’ as he left. But knowing hot caf was on the way, Ben got to work.

The task was slow and tedious. Just the sort of work Ben was used to do doing as anyone who manned a ship had to do. Routine repairs were part of being a pilot. It didn’t take long for him to become fully focused on what he was losing, not thinking about the time or the last time he ate or anything else that was always on the back of his mind. Of course, he only had a minor interruption when Delta arrived with a large cup of caf that had at least five sweeteners in it. Ben didn’t even let that stop his work though and he kept at it, stopping only to sip his beverage before it got cold.

“Hey, Delta,” he asked before the droid left, “What’s our current location?”

“The Western Reaches, along the Burke’s Trailing. Less than a half a parsec from the Jakku system.”

“So basically in the middle of nowhere,” Ben replied. He might have passed by this general region before, but he had never been to Jakku. And he had no plans to, either. His dad probably mentioned it at some point, but not in a positive light. From how Ben understood it, no one went to Jakku of their own free will. You were either stuck there or ended up there by shit luck.

“That is another way of putting it.”

“Well, at least there’s less chance of running into any trouble out here.” Ben resumed working on taking apart the null quantum field generator so he could repair it.

Unfortunately, it was only a handful of minutes before he faced a second interruption. However this time it was his client, Pelum-Ninn Ubal. The Cerean, who up until this moment had been calm and soft-spoken, was now wide-eyed and storming across the room.

“What is this I hear about a delay?!” the elderly man demanded.

Ben sat up and wiped a bit of engine grease from his cheek.

“I’m sorry, sir, but we have no choice. If we had kept going, the—”

“I don’t care! Do you realize the predicament you are putting me in?” Spittle flew from the old man’s mouth.

Ben sighed and crossed his arms, starting to get agitated and downright pissed off.

“First off, if I don’t fix this now it could cause a lot more trouble for us later. And second, this will put us back three hours at most. It’s not like we’ll be stuck here a whole day.”

“I don’t care! You said you were the best pilot around yet less than halfway to Cerea your ship is already breaking down!” Pelum-Ninn was near-shouting by now. But Ben wasn’t fazed by his behavior.

“Sir, all due respect,” he said firmly, “shouting at me isn’t going to get us to Cerea any faster. Now I’m working as quickly and efficiently as I can, so if you’ll let me—”

“I don’t have time for this! We could be attacked at any moment and we’re just sitting here defenseless.”

“My ship is not….wait.” Ben pulled himself up and stood at full height, glaring at Pelum-Ninn. “Why would we be attacked at any moment?”

The elder quickly resumed his previous mannerisms that up until now Ben had assumed were normal for him—hunched over, eyes cast down, rubbing his hands together.

“I…may have someone who has been following me since before Ord Mantell.”

“You…” Ben cursed. _Fuck. Fucking, fucking fuck_. Red flared in the corners of his vision, and he had to work quickly to keep himself from exploding in rage. When Ben got really angry, he lost control; and he hated it. “You’re telling me someone is after you?” he asked through gnashed teeth.

“Yes. And we’re right on Burke’s Trailing. You do know that the First Order has been spotted on this trade route multiple times just in the past week? We need to get out of here, _now_.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. What does the First Order even want with you, anyway?” he asked, restraining the urge to throw his tool at the wall.

“I sold some faulty weapons to them. I didn’t know they weren’t going to work! I had cut back on funding in my warehouses to save money. It turns out I halted production of a device that stops the triggers from jamming up. But the First Order thinks I double-crossed them and now they want me to pay with my life. They don’t want me to get away with what I did.”

Of course. Ben should have known this guy was another one of those greedy big shots, trying to squeeze as much money out of growing galactic conflict as he could. And that also explained why he hired Duni as a bodyguard. It didn’t explain her odd behavior and all the questions she didn’t answer, but Ben would have to worry about that later.

“You know…this is the sort of thing you _tell_ your pilot when you’re about to hire one,” Ben seethed.

“You wouldn’t have done the job if I told you the truth.”

“Yeah, no shit.” He grabbed his com. “Delta, I need you down here!”

“Actually, I think _I_ need _you_ up here.”

 _Uh-oh._ Ben’s heart began to pound in his ears.

“What’s going on?” he demanded. He looked right at Pelum-Ninn. The Cerean man just stared back at him, a look of horror and dread in his eyes. And then it got so much worse.

“Four ships incoming. They must have been close by and detected us as soon as we came out of hyperspace. Appears to be…a First Order light cruiser and three TIE fighters.”

 _Well, this just got a whole lot more interesting,_ Ben thought. There was no time to have an argument with the man who had lied to him and taken advantage of him. No time to let himself stew is own rage. There was only time to act and, hopefully, save their skins.

He ran past Pelum-Ninn and practically jumped onto the ladder. His client, meanwhile, was already beginning to panic.

“They’ve found us…oh, gods, they were here the whole time! We’re going to be blown to pieces!”

“Shut it, old man! I never go down without a fight.” Ben climbed up the ladder as fast as he could, then slammed his boots onto the floor and began running down the long hallway. He commed both his droids. “Okay, guys, just like we practiced. To your battle stations!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kept forgetting to put this in here, but I made a Pinterest board for this fanfic if you're interested! Link: https://www.pinterest.com/writeroutsider/sw-reylo/vii-reverse-au/
> 
> There is also a slight Junji Ito reference in this chapter; if you're familiar with his work you'll know it when you see it ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: mention of r*pe.

_Kelvin Ravine, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 11,_ _34 ABY_

By dawn the next morning, Rey realized she was in deep trouble.

She knew how to survive in the desert. After all, she had been forced to since she was a small child, sold off and put to work just to have a bite to eat at the end of the day. Unkar Plutt made sure his best scavengers, her included, were protected from local goons and thugs, but that didn’t mean Rey was always immune from danger. She knew all about how long the average sentient could go without water, and what happened to those poor scavengers who overestimated themselves and were found weeks later with all their corpses sucked dry and pecked to pieces. She knew how to pace herself for walking long distances without burning out. She knew how to stay alive and how to withstand a harsh climate such as Jakku.

But she had not been prepared for this.

Not even close.

The sun, even this early in the day, beat down on Rey mercilessly, burning through any skin left unprotected by the cloth wrappings. Her throat was parched and she could feel the effects of dehydration already kicking in. She had already used up all the fuel provided by the nutrition cube, and it would only be a matter of a couple hours before the first hunger pains kicked in.

On the other hand, Rey calculated she had made good distance so far. There had been a few nocturnal creatures that attacked her last night which she had fended off easily. Now, with the light, she risked running into scavengers, or worse. She no longer worked for Plutt, which meant no one would care what happened to her out here. One way or another it was going to be a very long day. Rey did not even think about getting any sleep. Sleep could come later. She just had to get to the village in time.

Rey put one foot in front of the other. Idly, as if from far away, she watched the sand rise and fall from the toes of her boots. She clenched and unclenched her fists, if only to feel something other than the constant misery. Her body wanted water so badly. It screamed for it. She had to ignore it, to tell herself she could last three days without a single drop and survive.

There was one thing she did not have to worry about, though. She had no need of a map to get to Tuanul, and she did not have to worry about getting lost. Rather, the Force pointed her in the right direction. The spiritual village, where the Church of the Force resided to study the history of the Jedi, had the Light Side surrounding it. It was like a giant, pulsing orb in the distance. It was sickening, and filled her with rage.

Her hatred for the Light would lead her right to them. They had no idea what was coming.

As morning progressed into day, Rey submitted to the words of her Master that were so deeply ingrained in her.

_Let the pain become your strength. Let the pain guide you._

These were words that had been said to her over and over since she was a teenager—said over her head as she was struck with Force lightning, or Sith troopers took turns beating her with heavy clubs and rods, or she was locked in a sensory deprivation chamber as a means of closing her off even more from the Light. She remembered her first day on Exegol, when she was fifteen—the way the Sith Eternal had passed her around from one to the next like she was a doll, using her long after she bled and was so traumatized from the nonstop rape that she couldn’t speak. Snoke had watched the whole time, monitoring her to make sure she suffered enough. Those were the moments Snoke told her would give her the most strength. They were the moments he brought upon her on purpose, so that when the time came, she could reach into them to find her true power in the Dark Side.

 _Reach into yourself. Let the pain become your strength. Let the pain guide you. You are_ nothing _without your suffering._

_Do you hear me, little one? You were born to feel pain. To suffer. To rise up and become my Empress. The more you suffer, the better you will know the Dark Side. And yourself._

As if right on cue, Rey stumbled over something half-buried in the sand. It was either a jagged rock or a broken piece from ship debris, she couldn’t tell. Whichever it was, it had a sharp edge that lined up perfectly between her big toe and index toe. It broke through the wrappings of her boot and pierced the sensitive skin of her foot. Then as she lost balance and fell over, the sharp edge made a deep line down the middle of her foot all the way to her heel, splitting her flesh almost an inch deep.

Rey cried out and fell on her side. Blood trickled onto the sand. She felt like her foot had been cut in half and was hanging on only by the tendons.

“Fuck me!” She clenched her jaw as she sat up and dared look at the wound. It was deep, all right. So deep she could stick her finger into the gash now separating her two toes and her fingernail could disappear into the wound. Blood was getting everywhere; her boot was ruined.

She could push through the pain; she had walked back to the Sith Citadel with worse wounds to her legs or feet. Rey was worried more about a predator tracking the blood she was bound to leave behind. And infection; if she didn’t cover the wound up well enough, sand and dirt was going to get in it. That could make things a whole lot worse very quickly.

After thinking over what to do, Rey opted to remove the cloth wrappings around her head and use that to tie her foot. She fumbled with her work, hands slippery with blood. Rey bet she had cut a couple tendons too. Putting weight on it was a painful motherfucker. But what choice did she have?

All she could do was keep walking.

“My strength is my pain…” she whispered to herself, licking her lips, feeling like she had swallowed half a sand dune. “I’m nothing without my suffering…”

Hours went by of nonstop, painful walking. It was noon now. The sun was at its peak. Rey wiped the sweat from her brow and shut her eyes. One other matter she had not realized would be a problem—after spending years living in the darkness of Exegol, a planet that never saw natural sunlight, Jakku would be blinding to her. At least nightfall on the desert planet would be tolerable. But this…

Rey’s head pounded, and her eyes seemed to burn with the light she was not accustomed to.

 _The light…is my enemy,_ she realized. That’s when the pieces began to fall into place. The Light Side was blinding. You could not see where you were going. It did not allow you any autonomy of your own, no way of knowing if the next step you took would be into quicksand or the jaws of a nightwatcher worm. You had to have, literally, blind trust.

Darkness was where she thrived. In the Dark, one could hide and use the shadows to one’s advantage. In the Dark, you trusted no one but yourself, which is exactly the way it should be.

 _The light is my enemy,_ she repeated to herself. Rey shut her eyes tight and opened up her palms. The pain from the sun did not seem to escape any inch of her body. Every nerve was on fire; every inch of skin was burning; every muscle ached. Her head hurt so much it felt like it might explode. _Don’t let the light blind you_.

Rey willed the pain to keep her going. She could make it to tonight. She had walked…how many miles now? Must have been three or four. She would get to the village in no time at all.

She opened her eyes and, in spite of the heat, a chill ran up her spine.

Because in the distance she saw a dark figure. They stood out against the white-hot sand. They looked to be a little under six feet tall, and were about fifty yards away. She could clearly see what looked like a humanoid head and shoulders and body, but other than that she could make out no other details. It was like looking at a shadow. Rey blinked, trying to get a better look. Was this a scavenger? A local trader?

“Who’s there?” she called out into the desert. But her voice was lost in the dunes. She could scarcely hear herself when she spoke, her throat was so dry. “H-hello?”

The figure did not move. They might as well have been a statue. Whatever garments they were wearing were so dark it was like looking into a black hole, especially when it contrasted how pale Jakku’s sands were this time of day. Rey took a few steps closer, feeling her fingertips already reaching for the hilt of her saber.

Then she saw something that turned her blood to ice. Or rather, it was what she _didn’t_ see.

This figure had no face. Where a humanoid face should have been, Rey could only see pure darkness. With each step Rey took she realized what she was looking at. It was not a dark-clothed figure at all. It seemed to be a human-shaped _hole_ in…what was it…the desert? The planet? The physical realm itself? A human-shaped hole leading into a pit of complete and total darkness.

“Who are you? Are you even alive? Are you just a mirage?”

Then Rey felt a sudden Force like gravity, only it was pulling her towards the figure. She was being drawn closer. Crying out, Rey dragged her heels against the sand, despite the severe pain it caused in her injured foot, but of course that did no good. Whatever had her was not letting go. And she was being pulled closer and closer.

She was less than six feet from the figure now. Rey peered at it, trying to see if maybe there was some sort of source of light on the other side of the hole. There was nothing. Just pure black. Rey looked up at the figure, trying to figure out why it resembled a person but wasn’t a person at all.

The force holding onto her forced Rey to stand at full height. Her arms were fastened to her sides. Rey’s eyes widened. She had no choice but to stare into the abyss of human-shaped blackness. Only…it was the exact same height as her. The same width. The shoulders were shaped the same too.

It wasn’t just shaped like a Human.

It was shaped like _her_.

“Let me go!! Whoever is doing this, I’m not afraid of you!” she screamed with all her strength.

 _Oh, my dear,_ Snoke’s voice in her head chuckled, _you have not even begun to know the taste of fear._

And then she was pulled forward again, through the Rey-shaped hole, into the dark.

~

_.3 parsecs from Jakku, the Western Reaches_ _\- Month 4, Day 13,_ _34 ABY_

_I never go down without a fight._

Ben Solo piloted his starfighter, the _Siren Scythe,_ out of _Odysseus’_ hangar bay. His heart raced. Even as little as he was connected to the Force now, he could sense the intent to kill strongly. Whoever these First Order military were, they had no intention of taking prisoners.

“Okay, Delta. You’ve got _Odysseus_ right now. K8, you’re on the laser cannons,” he said into his headset comlink. Both droids beeped affirmative responses. Meanwhile, Ben piloted out of the hangar and readied his ship. _Siren Scythe_ was a heavily modified interceptor, a model going as far back as the days of the Clone Wars. It had been repurposed and restructured multiple times. Ben had taken care of the ship well, seeing it as an artifact of the old wars as much as a useful weapon in emergencies. _Siren Scythe_ was an old ship but still had a lot of life left in her.

Where once three TIE-fighters had been approaching the _Odysseus_ , now there were six. Coming right at them in a V-formation. Small as they were, the best pilot in one of those things could inflict a lot of damage, even on a _Raider_ -class corvette. He quickly assessed their formation as they approached him.

“Slashing attack incoming.” He heard K8 whistle in alarm. “It’s okay, Kate darling. You know this one.” Ben focused on the lead TIE, then just as they were about to have a head-on collision, he barrel-rolled to the side. He opened fire. The TIE fighter spun around, dodging the barrage and leading the others towards the nose of the _Odysseus_. As Ben kept firing, he watched as laser cannons from below, manned by K8 and Delta, began firing on the attackers.

Now being attacked from three angles, the TIE fighters were forced to break formation. Ben took aim, fired again, and the lead TIE took a direct hit, exploding a split second later. Two more began assaulting him and he slipped between their attacks. He had his focus on the light cruiser.

“Delta, see if you can jam their communications with the freighter. If we can cut them off from each other—”

“No time for that. They’re reforming into a nova flare formation,” said Delta.

 _Dammit_. One of the few tactics that, if executed without flaw, exploited _Odysseus_ ’ size and limited manpower. The ‘nova flare’ was used by starfighters against much larger ships, and it involved hitting the enemy with a barrage of proton torpedoes, missiles, and sometimes bombs in a direct line of fire. The only way to divert such an attack was by rolling the ship out of the way in time. But even that maneuver could be exploited by the fighters if they were quick enough to reorient the direction of their attack.

Ben watched as the TIE’s looped around and came back to face them. Sure enough, Delta had been right. They were readying to come at _Odysseus_ with everything they had. However, he noticed a key flaw in their tactic: they had moved in way too soon. They were giving Ben and the droids plenty of time to change course and move out of the way of the assault.

 _These pilots must be rookies,_ Ben thought; fresh out of the academy, with little raw experience out in real combat, relying on what they learned from text exams rather than the real thing. Which must mean these pilots had to be pretty young too. Hardly old enough to buy cigs, anyway. Just kids.

Ben had to shut that thought away for now. Compassion was not unwarranted, but now was not the time.

“Let’s change their plans.” Ben moved in, dodging the blasts from the TIE’s. He heard a new voice come in on the comlink.

 _“One starfighter against six of them? Are you crazy?!”_ It was Duni—again, if that was her real name.

“If you’re so concerned why don’t you hop on one of the laser cannons?” Ben replied bitterly. He looped around again, trying to get at the TIE fighters from behind. It worked, and they broke formation again. This time however, two of them were coming around to fire at him while the other four continued their assault on _Odysseus._ It was taking all his focus to dodge their blasts. “Kate, I need you to cover me!”

K8 sounded nervous when she replied on the comlink; she had never dealt with combat this intense before. Most of her experience was in training simulations Ben constructed so his droids could practice this very thing. He pulled up, trying to get the two TIEs off his tail, but they were closing in fast and hitting him with all they got. Ben was running out of options. Normally right now, he just depended on his raw piloting skills to get him out of trouble. But not this time. This time, Ben let the walls he had built up to block out the Force break down, if only temporarily. And he let it in, putting all his senses and everything about who he was on high alert.

He _felt_ it. The First Order pilots readying the torpedoes on his ship. Hands on the switch. The order coming in from the light cruiser. The blaster fire coming at him from behind. The naivety and misplaced ego from the First Order pilots, only confirming Ben’s earlier thoughts about their ages. It was like he could see all of it happening from afar and yet in the middle of it all at the same time.

Quickly, Ben launched missiles at the TIE’s in front. They had no choice but to pull up. Ben circled around to lead the other two away. Without their lead, the fighters were scattered, struggling to regroup.

“Now! Hit them with everything you got,” Ben ordered.

The blackness of outer space lit up with the heavy assault of laser cannon fire. Ben darted out of the way. Blasts from the TIE fighters zipped past him all around, just narrowly missing him. The two behind him were still closing in. If he gave them much longer he’d be blown to bits.

Ben opted to use an old trick. He glanced behind him, then suddenly killed _Siren Scythe’s_ engines. The wind was knocked out of him. The inertia was so sudden that if he hadn’t been buckled in it would have snapped his neck. As he was yanked forward, the TIE’s practically disappeared into the distance in front of him. Before they could realize where he went, Ben powered the engines back on. Then several blasts later, both TIE fighters exploded. Ben granted himself a small smile of accomplishment at pulling off the high-risk move. It was one of his favorites.

Now that he was clear, Ben made a half circle back to the _Odysseus_ , where the TIEs had split up and were attempting to take the ship down from opposite sides. Fortunately for Ben, he had trained the droids for just this tactic. He watched as an ion cannon was fired, taking down two TIE fighters flying close together.

“Target their cruiser,” he told Delta.

“Gladly!” Delta said. The ion cannons redirected towards the First Order ship. Without their fighter support they didn’t stand a chance, even with their shields. Ben watched as the ship took hit after hit, until Delta hit a reactor and it went down.

“Good job! We cooked ‘em.” Even though it could have been a whole lot worse, Ben still sighed with relief. He would have plenty of time tonight to ruminate on the kids he had just killed to save himself. That was what you had to do to survive now and then. But that didn’t make it any easier.

The droids, both beside themselves that they had survived the attack, quickly began a damage report as Ben returned to the hangar. Some of the surface of _Odysseus_ had taken some surface hits, but nothing vital had been damaged. All in all, it had been their teamwork and quick responses that did not allow the First Order to gain the upper hand for this round.

Ben landed _Siren Scythe_ and pulled off the headset comlink. Hopefully his passengers weren’t too rattled by the whole thing. It wasn’t as if they had encountered a Star Destroyer or an entire fleet. Just a simple light cruiser and a bunch of rookies. In fact, now that Ben thought about it, what would a ship like that be doing out here anyway? If they had been passing through, where were they headed? But did it even matter anymore?

 _“Well, I am impressed,”_ Duni said on his wrist com. _“_ _Ubal says he wants to talk to you.”_

“Tell him he’ll have to wait. I’ve got a lot of work to do if he wants us out of here.” Ben headed out of the hangar. He was relieved the whole thing was over, for now anyway. But that didn’t mean his problems were gone. He had someone on board the First Order wanted dead, and that someone had lied to him to get this ride to Cerea. What else had this Ubal fellow lied about? Whatever the case, he owed Ben, big time. “Actually, on second thought, I _would_ like to talk to him.” Double rate plus covering cost of all repairs seemed fair enough, he pondered. Ben still intended to finish the job and get this guy to Cerea, and that seemed like a very gracious move on his part.

_“He’s waiting outside the cockpit.”_

Ben realized something after she hung up. Her accent didn’t seem quite as strong just now.

R3-K8 wheeled up to him from down the hall, chirping excitedly. She practically collided right into his knees as he peeled off his gloves and shoved them into one of the pockets of his jacket.

[I did it, Ben! I did it! Did you see what I did?]

He smiled and patted the top of her dome head.

“Sure did, Kate. Good work out there. I do have another job for you, though.”

[What is it?] she asked eagerly.

“I need every deck locked down, including the hangar bay. I also need controls of the upper deck lights, doors, and air locks transferred to my wrist com.”

[Oh, okay.] K8 looked a bit confused but she trusted him. [I should be able to have both done in… eight minutes. Starting…now!]

As soon as she made that small beep, Ben started the timer on his com. With all of the flaws in K8’s programming due to the abuse she suffered, she had an impeccable sense of timing. Eight minutes was exactly eight minutes.

“Perfect. Thank you.” He patted her dome head again before heading up to the cockpit which took another handful of minutes. Outside the main door leading to the cockpit, Pelum-Ninn and Duni were standing. The old man looked shaken up, but calmer than Ben last saw him. “Are you going to thank me for saving your lives or what?”

“The First Order is going to find out what happened. They’ll send more ships after us, not just puny TIE fighters,” Pelum-Ninn said darkly. But at least he wasn’t fuming anymore.

“I don’t disagree with you. All the more reason I need to finish repairing the ship so we can get out of here as fast as we can.”

“Do we have any other options?” The Cerean leaned over and whispered to Duni, “Go fetch my cane.” She nodded and began walking down the hall, past Ben. She disappeared around the bend.

“You mean, landing somewhere and waiting? That’s really going to cut into the trip.” Ben crossed his arms.

“At this point, I care more about getting there in one piece than getting there on time,” said Pelum-Ninn.

“So where do you propose we dock down? Nearest system is Jakku and after that we got Rakata Prime.”

“Jakku? That dump?” The man scoffed. Go figure. Someone of his social status would probably rather be caught dead then seen on a place like that.

“So is that a yes or a no?” Ben cocked an eyebrow.

“I…I don’t know. All I know is right now the First Order could show up any second.”

Ben clenched his fists, getting the odd feeling that this conversation was just going to keep going in circles. Maybe that was the plan, he wondered.

“Sir, right now the best you can do is head back to your cabin so I can get us out of here. I am _not_ taking us to Jakku, no matter—”

“Actually, now that you mention it…” Ben heard a voice from behind him say, “I think a pit stop on that dump isn’t a bad idea. What do you think, sir?”

Ben looked over his shoulder and found he was staring right down the barrel of an A280-CFE blaster. Duni’s accent was completely gone.

She gave Ben a big grin.

“Hands up, Solo.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the most emotionally heavy one so far. When I started writing this I wasn't sure how "far" I wanted to go with depicting dark, graphic content more than we get shown in canon (explicitly) that is. At first I was hesitant but I ultimately decided to go farther so I can go places with my sequel rewrite that the canon can't for now.
> 
> It's also why I use 'Earth' swear words/curse words as opposed to SW canon words like 'kark' or 'fierfek' because, well..let's be honest, the SW swear words sound silly to me and just don't pack the same punch XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -Body horror  
> -Brief mention of hypothetical su**ide (as a means of avoiding capture)  
> -Mention of r*pe, and long-terms effects of trauma from r*pe  
> -Transphobic rhetoric (including calling a trans child an 'it')

_Kelvin Ravine, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 11,_ _34 ABY_

The first thing Rey felt on the other side was someone grabbing her arm.

She could not see anything, at least not yet. It was complete darkness in here…out here…wherever she was. The black hole shaped like her had pulled her through, and now her eyes might as well have been sealed shut because there was nothing here to see.

Rey felt another hand on her. This time, on her other arm. Both hands felt cold, and lifeless. She could sense no other life forms nearby, no sense of gravity or where up was, if there even was an up. And yet another hand grabbed her by the back of the neck. If she was alone, where were the hands coming from? Rey clenched her jaw and tried to resist them, but whatever had a grip on her had a lot more power than her.

Had she been pulled into an abyss of nothingness? Had she fallen into a coma from her injury? Maybe she was dead and this was what death was, just wandering about in blackness forever.

And then she felt the pain in her cut foot and realized she could not be dead after all. Rey took that to be a good sign. She kicked her legs out as hard as she could and found that they contacted with solid ground. Still, blackness, but at least there was ground here and she wasn’t just floating.

 _Master, if you can see me or hear me right now…tell me why I’m here. Please,_ she begged.

Turns out, she was about to get her answer without his help anyway.

A shape formed in Rey’s field of vision. She blinked a few times, just in case she was seeing things. The shape remained, slightly reddish in hue. It was coming closer and spreading like a pool. Was it…lava? Fire?

 _I_ knew _there was gonna be lava!_

Clouds formed above her, and Rey saw a distant source of light. A sun, but mostly concealed by the blood-soaked skies. More images began to take shape around her. She saw large, black cliffs on either side of her. She felt heat from below. Her feet seemed to be touching a large mound of ashes, and just several feet below her was a lake of lava. The more Rey blinked, the clearer her surroundings became, like they were coming out of focus. She turned around a few times, taking in the view. A few moments later she realized she was on a small island surrounded by the lava, and it crashed against the black cliffs about fifty yards or so away. Behind her, something giant stretched high above the cliffs, seemingly so high it scraped the underside of the clouds.

Rey stared harder at it until she realized what she was looking at. This was a place Snoke had shown her in dreams, a place she had seen drawings and designs of during her studies of the Sith history.

_That’s Lord Vader’s palace. This is Mustafar._

Just like that, Snoke’s voice returned.

_If you are to become my apprentice, you must prove yourself stronger than those before you. Stronger than the Sith in ages before us who failed. You must see what they saw, feel what they felt, in order to learn from their weaknesses._

_Of course I remember, Master,_ Rey answered him. In fact, she had known enough about Vader even before Snoke rescued her from Jakku. In those days, Rey had associated the name ‘Vader’ with old legends spawned from the days of the Galactic Empire that were larger than life. Vader was a Rebel horror story told around campfires, a demonic figure from a spiritual tale, a mythos whose infamy grew with each generation. ‘Vader’ was the creature in the night kids had nightmares about. ‘Vader’ was who you prayed didn’t come for you at the hour of death. Rey had heard stories now and then about Vader at the outpost, and had laughed at a handful of them, believing they had been greatly exaggerated.

Of course, years later Rey learned that none of it had been mythology at all. Vader had really existed. The stories of one monster taking out an entire Rebel company actually happened. Maybe some had changed a bit over time, since of course nearly every witness to Vader’s wrath did not live to tell the tale, but generally all accounts were more fact than fiction. Yes, Rey knew the whole story of Darth Vader. Or so she thought.

 _Vader failed in the end. I pray you won’t,_ Snoke said.

Before she could ask what she meant, Rey startled. The lava was closing in on the small island. In seconds, the lava had already moved several feet closer to her. Quickly she looked around to see if there was something she could grab or jump onto to save herself. There was nothing. Just a mound of ashes quickly shrinking.

“What do I do? What do I do?!” Rey shrieked.

She knew this place wasn’t real. It was impossible to be teleported from Jakku to Mustafar in a human-shaped black hole. Besides, Vader’s palace here was in perfect condition as it had been when first constructed, not the shambles it existed in these days. Therefore, the lava was not real and it could not truly hurt her, at least not in the physical sense.

And yet, despite knowing all that, when the lava reached her feet, the pain _felt_ very real. She screamed as the lava boiled away her skin, then began to eat at her muscles. The whole island was consumed by lava now and it was rising higher. Rey’s legs were burned and cooked to nothing, and then she felt the same happening to her waist. All she could do was scream and scream and _scream_.

 _Yes…perfect. You will be perfect for me,_ Snoke whispered in her mind.

Rey did not know how long the pain lasted. She had lost all sense of time. All she knew was that at some point she was back in complete darkness and could not see or feel anything again. The hands were on her. Now, Rey realized who they were. It was members of the Sith Eternal, guiding her somehow through these rings of hell. The hands were rough, relentless, as they had always been. Touching her in ways that were meant to remind her of her place. Rey could only take it, fighting back tears. Even in a place like here, she was never really safe from them, was she? The remnants of what she had faced on Mustafar echoed in her mind to the point she could still feel some of the sting of the lava.

The next place she could see forming was different. This time, Rey discovered she was in a long, dark tunnel. The structure was foreign to her but she could see long beams of light outlining the tunnel, each about a meter apart. There was a slight breeze that howled in her ears and throughout the vast tunnel. At one end there was a source of light, and at the other, darkness. Rey began walking towards the light.

 _Wrong choice,_ Snoke said.

Rey collapsed to the floor in a split second. She cried out in pain as her chin smacked the hard surface. The bones in her hands rattled from the impact. As she lay there, the wind knocked out of her, Rey heard what sounded like a man shouting from the end of the tunnel were the light came from. He sounded like he was screaming “No” over and over.

Grunting in pain, Rey tried pulling her legs up so she could stand. There was no response.

“What the…?” Rey looked down.

Her legs were there, but they were lying about a few feet away from her. Away from the rest of her body.

Rey felt a severe wave of nausea at she realized what she was looking at. Something had severed her at the waist. She could see her legs, but she could not feel them and she could not move them. Where her a waist ended was a charred, mangled mess.

“Oh, gods…oh, no…” She cried out in horror at the sight. Her body, cut in half. Half of her gone, just _gone_. Rey began crying as she clawed at the ground to pull herself forward. If she had anything in her stomach she would have vomited. _My legs, oh god, my legs…_

She was beginning to realize what was happening. Whereas being burned on Mustafar had been a test of her physical stamina, this was a test of the psychological. To see if she could drag herself to safety even after experiencing something so horrific.

 _Don’t stop,_ she told herself. She dug her nails into the floor and pulled herself forward again and again and again. _No matter what, you are not going to stop._ And she didn’t, even when she had to drag herself so hard that her nails broke and bent backward. Even when her arms hurt so much from the exertion that she thought they’d fall off any moment. Even when she dared look back and saw that her severed legs were already starting to show signs of decay, and the smell made her even more nauseous.

It was Rey’s pain that kept her moving down the tunnel towards the dark, her rage at the suffering she had endured every moment of her life, and her will to be the winner.

That was one thing both Jakku and the Sith had taught her well. In this world, you ever gave it everything you got or you lose. You either got rid of everyone in your way or you could be cast aside. You were only going to come out on top if you were completely ruthless. No mercy, no kindness, no love. The world was never going to give you any of those things, and anyone who pretended to was just in it to take advantage of you. So why do it? Why stoop to help others when no one was going to help you? It was just you. And you could either sit there and cry about how miserable you were and the hell they had put you through, _or_ …or you could use your pain to fuel your anger at everything and everyone. And that anger would carry you a long way. It would guide you and keep you running when everything else told you that you couldn’t go on. And maybe, just maybe, if you were strong and ruthless enough you’d be the winner.

Rey screamed again, but not in pain. This time, in rage. Her fingers were bleeding, mauled where the fingernails had broken off and exposed the sensitive skin underneath. Her waist dragged against the ground where it had been severed. And yet…she did not even feel the pain anymore. It was just an echo from far away. Something out of a dream she was already starting to forget.

She smiled a little. She was getting closer. She was winning.

At last, Rey reached the end of the tunnel. And there, for the third and final time, she was met with total darkness.

~

_.3 parsecs from Jakku, the Western Reaches_ _– Month 4, Day 13,_ _34 ABY_

Ben did as he was told, inwardly rolling his eyes. Ever since he noticed her odd behavior, he had been wondering if something like this was going to happen.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he muttered.

“Didn’t ask you for advice,” Duni snapped. “Now turn around.”

“Just thought I’d give you fair warning,” Ben said as he turned to face her. Sure enough, the shy but somewhat well-meaning bodyguard from before was gone. He was facing someone who looked the same but acted completely different. Everything had been a lie. Ben could hear his dad’s advice right now, all his drunken spiels about how you had to always assume the worst of everyone and that it was better to act as if everyone was out to get you rather than risk being taken advantage of.

Ben had never liked that sentiment. He respected his dad to a degree and of course, Han had gotten through a lot of messy situations thinking that way…but Ben wanted to believe in the best of people. He wanted to believe that everyone, with just a few exceptions, always had a choice to do good or bad and the potential to _be_ good or bad.

Of course, on a day like today, that perspective sure as hell was being put to the test.

“What do you propose we do with him? Shoot him or keep him prisoner?” Duni asked as she pressed the nose of the blaster against his stomach. He wanted to snap at her that she didn’t need to do that to remind him he was being held at blasterpoint, but whatever. She could do that if it made her feel better.

“Shoot him. I’ve already got enough to worry about without him trying to escape. He seems dumb enough to try,” Pelum-Ninn grumbled, fixing the sleeves of his robe.

“Smart choice,” Ben said.

“Once you’re done, throw the body out of an airlock then get this damn cockpit door open. The controls aren’t working,” the old man said.

“Fine, fine.” Duni glanced over at the wall. He could tell she was looking for the nearest airlock to dump his corpse through, but she wasn’t about to ask him for directions. Not that he was going to give them if she did. “I told you that you need a copilot. If you had one this might not have happened. Pays to be alone, doesn’t it?” Duni asked him mockingly.

Ben bit his bottom lip and just tilted his head slightly. His gaze drifted down to his wrist com for a split second, just enough that hopefully Duni wouldn’t notice. One and a half seconds remained on the timer. Good thing he could count on K8.

“Who said I was alone?” he asked.

The timer on his com went off. Just a series of small beeps.

The distraction, however small, was just enough. Ben rammed his kneecap against her hand. The blaster jutted up. She pulled the trigger by accident, shooting a hole in the ceiling. In the next second, he smacked her inner arm with his wrist. The impact made her drop the weapon to the floor.

The Cerean man was already reaching for his own weapon, but this was Ben’s ship. He knew every little detail about it. He activated a switch on his com. The hallway was instantly cast in pitch darkness. Ben then used his opponent’s surprise to his advantage by kicking her blaster as far away from her as he could with his foot. He couldn’t see it in the dark, but a small whisper from the Force had helped him locate it. Then he made a bolt down the hallway.

“Stop him!” he heard Pelum-Ninn shout.

In seconds Duni was after him, and closing in fast. Ben knew where to run, even with no lights on. He turned a corner, opening the door to the hall before entering, then down another hall that included an airlock.

He knew what he had to do. Ever since he began doubting his passengers’ intentions, he had been hoping it would not come down to this. But the First Order fugitives had made their choice already. If Ben didn’t do this, he would be killed. It was their lives or his.

As he heard Duni run into the hallway behind him, he used his wrist com to shut the door she had just run through. Then he reached the other end of the hall and quickly shut the door behind him. With his com overruling all manual controls, she was trapped inside there. Ben took a deep breath, then activated another switch. This one opened the airlock in the hall. He heard the Twi’lek woman scream out in terror for a split second. And then just like that, he heard her no more. With no time to grab something to save herself, she had been sucked out into the blackness of outer space.

Ben waited a few seconds before shutting the airlock. Her death would not take long but could never be quick enough. She had just been doing her job. Hired by Pelum-Ninn to make ends meet. Ben didn’t like killing, especially when death wasn’t painless. But she had left him no choice.

If he had gotten a chance with her alone to talk it out, though, maybe they could have worked out a deal. She might have been willing to turn on her employer if it meant she survived. If he hadn’t been so quick to action…

 _No. What’s done is done. Can’t dwell on it,_ he told himself. Just like his dad, Chewie, and Lando had all taught him, and even his mom to an extent. In the heat of battle, you couldn’t grieve the lives you had to take in order to save yourself. That got you nowhere. You just had to keep going.

But Ben couldn’t help it. It always hurt, however small. When you could feel someone’s life enter the Force and leave this world, it was near impossible not to hurt.

He sighed, rubbed the bridge of his nose, and ran back into the hall. He turned the lights back on since there seemed to be no need for them. The old man might have some fight in him but not nearly enough, so Ben wasn’t worried. Besides, the ship was still on lockdown.

When Ben found his remaining passenger, he was trying to open the cockpit door. He even seemed close to overriding the controls enough to do so. But not enough time left. Ben found Duni’s blaster on the floor and picked it up, even though he had his own at his side. Pelum-Ninn spun around and made a small cry of alarm.

“What did you do to her?” he demanded. As if he wasn’t the one who ordered her to shoot him and forced Ben to do what he just did.

Ben glared at him. This was a man who made other people do his dirty work. Who used others and tried to take advantage of them. He had sold faulty weapons to the First Order for money, then nearly got Ben and his droids killed by lying to him. Maybe Pelum-Ninn had some good in him, but Ben wasn’t going to stick around to find that out for sure.

“I killed her,” Ben said simply. He aimed the blaster at the Cerean’s large binary brained head.

“Wait, no! Don’t!” The old man went to his knees, hands raised. “I’ll pay you double, triple from before. I can pay you fifty thousand…a hundred thousand! Just don’t shoot me, please!”

Ben tried not to be waivered by the old man’s pleading. But the way he saw it, this man was the reason Duni and those First Order rookies died today, and he didn’t even seem to care. Ben also partially blamed himself, but for now his self-hatred was being redirected as hatred towards this man.

“You’re on the First Order’s wanted list. You’re dangerous to be around,” Ben replied.

“They’ll want you too after what just happened. Please, I can make you a deal. I can pay you whatever you want and help you hide until they stop looking for you.”

“I want…31,000. That covers the remaining ten we agreed on earlier, fifteen for getting me into trouble, and six for ship repairs.” Ben watched as the old man fumbled with transferring the funds on his own com. He could have easily asked for way more credits than that, taken full advantage of the opportunity. But before all this went down he had already decided how much more to charge, and he was going to stick to that. Otherwise, Ben would be just as bad as him. When the man finished transferring the money to Ben’s account, Ben gestured for him to stand up. “I’m going to give you two choices. I can either leave you on Jakku to fend for yourself or I can launch you out in an escape pod. Either way, I’ll give you enough food and water for three days. That should be enough.”

“What?!” Pelum-Ninn shouted.

“Okay, if you spit in my face one more time with your shouting, I might just shoot you instead,” Ben snapped. “I’m letting you pick one of the two. If you go to Jakku you might be able to find a ride out of there eventually. If you go in an escape pod you’ll have enough fuel to get you a good distance from here and you’ll probably be able to get a signal to your buddies on Cerea. Now, pick one or I’ll do it for you.”

“I’ll…I’ll take the escape pod.”

“Okay, then follow me.” Ben let him to the lower deck. On the way down, he commed K8. “You can disable controls on my wrist com and set everything back to normal, Kate. Don’t need them anymore. Thanks for the help.”

[You’re welcome!] she cheered back.

Once they reached the escape pods Ben helped him in the first one and locked him inside. He went down to the kitchenette and packed up three days’ worth of nonperishable food items as well as a large water canteen. He could have skimped out, but after everything that happened today he didn’t have it in him. The droids followed him around, overly curious.

“Delta,” he said, “see if you can finish repairing the null quantum field generator. If you need any help, let me know. I still have to work on fixing the damage left by those TIE fighters.”

“What do we do now? Wait until the First Order comes back to kill us?” asked Delta.

“I’m working on it,” Ben cut him off. “One thing at a time.”

He bundled everything together in a knapsack he found in the living area. When he was done, he returned to the escape pod. Luckily Pelum-Ninn had not made any attempts to escape or the like. Not that Ben had expected him to.

“Here. This should be enough. The escape pod is meant to house somebody for a few days so you have everything you need in here.”

“I don’t know if I’m supposed to say thank you or—”

“Yes, you should!” he snapped. “I could have shot you or turned you in to the First Order.” He couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy. “And honestly, I’m starting to think you would deserve it.”

“You’re not wrong. I’ve gone too far with this…” the Cerean stared down at his hands. But it was way too late for a pity party and Ben wasn’t having it.

“I shouldn’t have to spell out that we never met and you don’t know anything about me.”

“Oh, of course. My lips are sealed.”

“Good.” Ben tossed him the knapsack and water canteen. “There’s something else too. I don’t know if you’d ever use it, but I thought I’d offer it just in case.”

“What is it?”  
This was more for Ben’s own protection than his former passenger. After all, the last thing he wanted was the First Order capturing Pelum-Ninn and the guy would spill everything, probably try to pin some of his own sins on Ben, and put him on the wanted list too. Ben reached into the knapsack and pulled out a small glass vial. Inside it was a blue liquid the color of the sea on a clear sunny day.

“This is poison. Drink it and you’re dead in fifteen seconds, twenty tops, and you don’t feel a thing. None of that suffocating or feeling your insides collapse. It’s just like going to sleep. If the First Order finds you and capture is imminent, and say you’d rather die than face them, you have this to spare yourself.”

The old man stared at him, dumbfounded. Was it cruel to give him the poison, or was it a mercy? Was Ben in the right to even put the option out there for him, or was it a noble act to offer him a quick, painless death as opposed to whatever the First Order would do to him? Ben wasn’t sure which it was.

“Wh-why? Why are you giving me this?”

“You don’t have to use it. Get rid of it for all I care. But just in case, if it came down to it…you’d get to choose how you go.” Ben returned the vial into the knapsack. “I think that’s it. I’m sending you off now.”

“Thank you for giving me a chance. Even after what I did.”

Ben just nodded and stepped back, then sealed the pod. He hesitated just a moment before hitting the switch. The escape pod launched away, soon disappearing into the blackness. Ben found himself staring out of the viewport, locked there in place. Now that it was all over, his mind began to dwell on what had happened. What he had done.

He felt the shadow on the back of his neck. Heard that haunted mechanical breathing as a faint whisper. Ben shivered.

_You can’t run from who you are._

Ben pulled away from the viewport. He stared down at Duni’s blaster which he had fastened to his belt earlier. He picked it up and discarded it in the nearest trash receptacle, still shivering a little.

 _No. I’m not my grandfather. I’m not like you,_ he said to the shadow in his head.

_I’m not a murderer._

No matter how much he argued with it, Ben knew what he would see next time he fell asleep. Vader would be chasing him down, closing in on him. No matter how fast he ran in his nightmare, Vader always found him. He always had to face that terrifying mask, the face of the monster who slaughtered so many innocent people, even attacked and maimed his own children. Both of Ben’s parents had been tortured by Vader and the man he’d been named after had been killed by Vader’s own hand. That evil was in his bloodline. And every night he was reminded of what he came from. What he could potentially become.

But Ben hadn’t _murdered_ Duni or those pilots. It was just self-defense…right? Right?

He sat on the floor and held his head in his hands, feeling the weight of it all crashing down on him. Once again, Ben closed himself off from the Force, building up the walls inside him again. Anything so he would stop _feeling_ so much.

Several minutes passed. Ben rubbed his face, feeling a headache come on from forcing himself not to cry. Then, slowly, he stood up. He had to keep moving. Taking a deep breath, he turned on his com.

“How’s it coming, Delta?”

“We’ll be back online and ready to go in two hours. That’s without repairing the damage from the battle.”

“Well, that guy was right about one thing,” Ben muttered.

“And what’s that?”

“We need to hide. Bunker down somewhere until the First Order stops looking for us. If we stay out here much longer we’ll just be ambushed and this time, by way more of them.” Ben glanced out the viewport again. “And I think I know just the place, too.”

“Oh, don’t tell me we’re going to that wasteland, crime-ridden, maker-awful—”

“We sure are,” Ben interrupted him as he began walking back to the cockpit. “It’s the closest planet to us, and it’s remote. No First Order control down there, either. It’s the perfect place to hide. We’ll land the ship, get it repaired, and lay low for a few days or so.” He sat in the pilot’s seat and started up the navigation computer.

Next stop, Jakku.

~

_Kelvin Ravine, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 11,_ _34 ABY_

The next place Rey found herself was a cold, dark room. Glass walls towered overhead and looked out to a canvas of stars. Rey looked down and saw her legs were back to normal, and she could feel them. She smiled with relief and walked forward.

“Okay, now what?” she asked aloud. Her voice echoed throughout the chamber. Was she on a ship? Some sort of hangar bay? That’s what it seemed like. She heard the hull of what sounded like a ship and the stars outside gave her enough of an answer. Rey had never seen this place before. In the middle of the room she saw a dark gray blanket that was covering something on the floor no more than five feet tall or so. Maybe it was a chair.

 _The final step is the simplest task._ Snoke’s voice was louder than before. Rey smiled. That meant he was closer to her; he must be. _To become my apprentice, you must let go of the past. Let it die._

“How, Master?” Rey looked back at the dark gray blanket and realized she recognized it after all. It was the blanket she had bought from Unkar Plutt as a child and slept with for years. That blanket had kept her warm on thousands of cold nights. She winced at the memory.

Rey looked closer. Hands of the Sith Eternal reached out of nothingness, like they were appearing out of an invisible cloak. She shuddered at the unnatural image. Knowing this was conjured from Sith powers, but nonetheless seeing something that was not supposed to happen was off-putting. The hands reached out and touched the edges of Rey’s old blanket. Slowly, it was pulled away, revealing that it was indeed concealing a chair as well as someone sitting in it.

She gasped.

The person sitting in the chair…was her.

This must have been when Rey was about twelve or thirteen, or so she guessed judging by the appearance. Rey remembered those days. She had started doing extra work for Plutt’s men so that they would have her estrogen injections and anti-androgens delivered to her. Plutt’s opinion on Rey’s transition didn’t seem to matter; all he cared about was how much she could sell to him at the end of the day. The other scavengers had offered their own opinions on it to her face. A few had tried to mess with her since they hated who she was, but anyone who had known Plutt knew they shouldn’t hurt his best scavenger. She had gotten hormones just in time to curb off some of the effects of puberty. But she faced all those internal changes alone.

This younger version of Rey was strapped to the chair by her wrists and ankles. She was wearing the same tan cloth wrappings that had helped her survive Jakku’s harsh climate. Younger Rey looked up and her eyes widened in, what was it, terror or excitement or both?

Her eyes were brighter. Her skin less scarred and tanned. Fewer callouses on her hands. And of course, the light pulsed inside her, the kind of light you did not physically see but could sense in the Force. This version of Rey had dreamed of a better future for herself. She had had hope.

This was the girl she had been before she met Snoke. Before she was raped. Before she learned the ways of the Sith.

 _That girl is gone,_ Rey thought. _She’s been dead for a long time._

 _And now,_ Snoke said her head, _you must kill the past and submit yourself to me._

Rey understood what he meant. She would have thought a moment like this would feel good. A catharsis. A way to say “Fuck you” to the parents who abandoned her and the body she hated and give a big warm welcome to her future as Empress.

But it did not feel good. It felt…sick. Wrong. The younger Rey looked up at her and now it was clear she was definitely scared.

“No, please don’t…please.”

Rey ignited her lightsaber and adjusted it so the blades split off from each other. She took a deep breath.

“You don’t want to do this!” the younger Rey screamed out. “You’re better than them!”

Rey seethed. This was younger her, all right. The girl who daydreamed about being a Rebel pilot and saving the galaxy, of being some sort of hero. The girl who had helped others even when she did not stand to gain anything back. The girl who collected nightbloomers and spinebarrels to remind herself that beautiful things could live anywhere, even on Jakku.

But she wasn’t a flower growing out of the desert. At least, she wasn’t anymore. The world had sucked the happiness and hope out of her until she had nothing left but her hate.

“I have to,” Rey said. But her eyes were already clouding up. She took a few steps closer.

“Don’t let him do this to you! You can still be a good person!” Her younger self was crying now. “What they do to you…it’s not right. They’re killing you. But you can still walk away.”

“Shut up. SHUT UP!” Rey swallowed hard. Tears were running down her cheeks now. She had been so full of hope back then. So full of light… “You don’t know the half of it!”

“I know that we don’t want this. We never wanted to—”

“You’re done! Finished! It’s _my_ turn now!” older Rey screamed at the top of her lungs.

Snoke laughed mockingly. The sound filled the room. Younger Rey cried out in fear and pulled at her restraints but of course it was no use.

_You’re not weak, are you? Not even strong enough to kill an unarmed child?_

“She’s _me_. She’s…who I was.” Rey began to sob uncontrollably as she understood what this was. She wasn’t just killing the child within her. She was killing her hope of a better life, her dreams of being a hero. She was killing the last of the light inside her.

 _If you can even call that_ thing _a child,_ Snoke scoffed. That made Rey tense up.

“What do you mean?” she dared ask.

_Look at it. It’s still showing many signs of a boy’s body. Not like the beautiful creature you are now. And it’s still holding out on its parents coming back for it._

Rey wanted to cry harder at her past self being called an ‘it.’ That was too painful to hear. She raised her saber above her head, causing her younger self to scream out and plead for her to stop.

“Don’t do it! It’s not worth it! Please, they’re KILLING YOU!” the child shrieked.

 _I’m already dead,_ Rey answered silently.

She watched her blade cut down on the little girl’s neck. Watched it sever the head from the body. Watched her own head roll over and fall to the ground. Once again, Snoke’s voice was distant as he told her she had done well. And then Rey collapsed. The last thing she knew was that her face hit a hard rock and there was sand digging into her knees, before everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO WE FINALLY MEET IN THIS CHAPTER ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -war combat/violence  
> -mention of 'church' as in Church of the Force (If you have religious trauma from the Christian church should probably approach this chapter with caution)

_Resistance headquarters, D’Qar – Month 4, Day 13, 34 ABY_

Commander Poe Dameron could not have been asleep for more than ten minutes when the alarms sounded.

By second nature, he was up immediately. He had been sleeping on a small cot in the maintenance level, one of the quietest spots in the base where one could ideally get some shut eye for a few hours without disruption. Except for times like now, of course. Those alarms came from the lookout posts and they warned of an incoming attack. Poe had only heard those alarms before during drills. But the next drill wasn’t scheduled for another three days and they always happened at noon sharp, not in the middle of the night. This was the real thing.

He grabbed his jacket and slipped on his combat boots which he kept right beside his bed for situations such as this one. His arms were already through the sleeves of his jacket and he had both boots on in less than seven seconds. Lastly, Poe grabbed his belt as he ran to the main command center of the base. It was about a quarter past four in the morning and just ten minutes ago, Poe had finished receiving the results of nightly patrol before finally turning in for the night. He hadn’t slept in over thirty hours, unless you counted one very brief light nap in his X-Wing cockpit between assignments. Luckily, nothing kept you awake better than pure, high-powered adrenaline. One of the jobs of being a commander is you always had to be ready to respond to an emergency. It didn’t matter if you were in the middle of a meal or catching up on much-needed sleep. When you heard that call, you got up. And Poe wasn’t just a soldier; he was a leader, too. He had an example to set for the other Resistance troops and he had to show that he could be depended on.

Normally, one of the Resistance High Command were on D’Qar to keep things in charge, deploy offenses on the First Order when the chance arose. Just three days ago, General Idrosen Gawat himself had been here to meet with Resistance Intelligence. But tonight, their leaders were elsewhere, gathering forces on other bases across the galaxy. Poe was one of the top ranks in command here tonight. And that meant that he would own a lot of responsibility for whatever happened.

Poe ran upstairs as the alarms kept blaring, so loud it hurt his ears. The main command center was already swarming with troopers rushing to grab weapons, droids hurrying to dataports, officers rushing to the display screens. It would look like chaos to an outsider, but Poe knew everyone was responding to the emergency exactly the way they had been trained to. The other Resistance Commanders were gathered around the middle of the room and Poe joined them. By now, the sleep was gone from his eyes and he was more than wide awake. Before he could so much as ask what had happened, someone seemed to read his mind and spoke for him.

“Several First Order ships have been spotted entering the atmosphere, including one Star Destroyer.”

Sure enough, when Poe looked at the display screen in the center of the room, he saw the markings of First Order aircraft landed in towards the base. One Star Destroyer and he couldn’t count how many ships for support.

Poe silently swore under his breath. He had known this was going to happen but he didn’t expect so many to attack at once. After Vi Moradi’s message from Batuu, he had been sent to D’Qar for an important mission straight from General Leia herself. Poe considered it the most important mission he had taken so far. However up until now, nothing had happened at the base. No attacks or warning signs, other than Moradi’s message itself, no indication that First Order Intelligence was coming for them. And now it was happening. The very thing they had been dreading. Operation Supernova was about to begin.

“All right, we all know what to do,” Poe said, hoping it would give the more nervous troops some encouragement. “First we need to activate the deflector shields and prepare for a ground assault. And inform General Organa of the incoming attack.”

“Yes, Commander. Contacting General Organa now.”

As they began getting a signal to Leia, Poe grabbed his EL-16HFE blaster rifle. He knew what he had to do now. No matter what, the First Order could not access their sensitive information and find the map leading to the Jedi Temple. If they did, the galaxy’s strongest hope would be lost.

Poe put protecting the map as his top priority right now. Higher priority than his own life.

With that, Poe joined his troops as they ran to the hangar bay outside; he needed to be on the front lines. The doors were open, and Poe could see out into the thick jungle landscape of D’Qar. The night was still pitch dark, vegetation swarming and climbing high past the structures that had been around since the days of the Rebellion. Save for the sounds of nocturnal animals and insects, it was still silent. Eerily silent.

Poe looked to his left and right. Soldiers were rushing to their battle positions with their weapons, moving to cover behind patrol speeders, crates, and shipment containers. A few were taking position in the trenches they had dug in around the base as a defense and prepping heavy repeating blaster cannons. Some of them were still teenagers. The Resistance had their age restrictions for enlistment, of course, but there were always the young ones who tried to get in and join the fight anyway. On the one hand, Poe had known the realities of warfare and violence since he was a toddler, so he had long lost touch of the concept of when someone is ‘too young’ for things like this. On the other, he knew a naive, innocent kid when he saw one.

Meanwhile, Poe found cover in the trench between two troopers in his command, twin Togrutan brothers nicknamed ‘Kip’ and ‘Cash.’ Neither of them had seen an actual battle yet, just training simulations and drills. Kip was a great shot with a blaster and Cash had caught onto battle tactics quickly. If Poe remembered correctly they had undergone training under Han Solo himself, who was known for his reckless but nevertheless effective tips he instilled in his cadets. Therefore, Poe trusted both brothers to be decent fighters. The commander readied his blaster against the dark soil. Sweat beaded his upper lip. Whether from the high humidity of the jungle or waiting for the attack to commence, Poe couldn’t tell.

As they waited and waited, the silence became deafening. A castua crane was up in a nearby tree, cawing into the dark. Poe readied his blaster. One of the brothers glanced at Poe.

“Do you hear that, sir?” Kip asked.

“Hear what?” Poe asked, just before he realized what the cadet meant. But he did not hear it so much as _feel_ it.

The ground shook slightly, a tremble that Poe felt in his boots. The second one was just a little bit stronger. As was the next and the next. It trembled all the way through the trench.

Both brothers, as well as the other troops in the trench, looked at Poe apprehensively. By now the steps were just strong enough to rattle a few leaves off the nearest jungle trees.

The castua crane flew away, feathers rattling in the faint moonlight.

“That’s an AT-AT,” Poe whispered to them. He knew those models made by the Galactic Empire, but Resistance Intelligence confirmed that the First Order had improved the original designs. These walkers had reinforced composite armor, and the heavy laser cannons could now pack more than twice the punch. Poe hadn’t faced one before. But, he supposed, guess there was a first time for everything. Quickly, he commed back to the officers still inside. “Deploy the patrol speeders. We’ve got at least one AT-AT moving in. And seal the security room.” That room housed the computers carrying the map to the Temple. Above all else, Poe had to protect it. He gripped his blaster tighter.

“You see anything out there yet, sir?” asked Cash.

Poe shook his head, but he peered into the jungle again. Just a second ago, he could have sworn he saw something in there. It had reflected the moonlight. Normally he would have dismissed it as a tree branch but something about the texture seemed metallic. Squinting, Poe looked again.

This time, he saw something long and pole-shaped sticking right out the tallest branches of one of the trees. There was another one parallel to it. Poe realized he was looking right into the hidden face of the AT-AT. His breath caught in his throat, and he turned to give the order to open fire. Just in time to see the first laser cannon blast strike the ground just several feet away from him and Kit was blown into bits.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

~

The stormtrooper couldn’t breathe.

The interior of the troop carrier was pitch black. He was standing shoulder-to-shoulder, helmet-to-helmet with the others. It was so cramped he couldn’t move, only clutch his F-11D blaster rifle and spread his feet just wide enough so that he didn’t lose balance. Nineteen others were in here and he was visibly the smallest of them all.

He was young…the youngest in his company, to be exact. The First Order officers had questioned Captain Phasma’s decision to take him off sanitation duty and begin his training early, but she had insisted on it. _There’s something special about that boy_ , she had told her superiors about him. _He’s very smart, very responsive, and a fast learner. I’ve seen what he can do in the training simulations. We would be making a mistake if he we didn’t put him through training._ So just like that, his life had changed. That was a few years ago already. And now here he was about to face his real combat for the first time in his life.

But what if Phasma was wrong about him? What if he wasn’t anything special at all? What if he had unknowingly given his captain some idea that he was meant for more when there wasn’t anything in him that set him apart from the other soldiers?

He certainly didn’t see it in him. Sure, maybe he was a good shot and could think both quickly and clearly in the heat of combat—training simulations of combat, that is—but that didn’t mean anyone else couldn’t do the same. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Captain Phasma’s judgement. But he just couldn’t look at himself and see what she determined to be ‘special.’

But whatever the case, the stormtrooper could only pray Phasma hadn’t made a mistake. That he wouldn’t let his captain down. That was his greatest fear of all: disappointing her.

 _Breathe. Breathe…_ the stormtrooper told himself over and over. It wasn’t helping. Felt like a damn rancor was sitting on his chest. Why was he so scared?

The stormtrooper had no name. Just his number: FN-2187. Sometimes fellow troopers called him ‘Eight-Seven’ for short, but never his superiors. People have names, and they were not people. They were weapons for the First Order. Soldiers brought up from infancy or childhood to bring order to the galaxy. Eight-Seven knew that was ultimately why he had moved up in training; Phasma wanted him out there on the frontlines doing what he was born to do.

The stormtrooper did not know his exact birthday, but he did know that somewhere around the second month of the year he had turned sixteen years old. That was very young for a trooper being deployed into real combat. Most did not see their first fight until twenty or so, since by that time they were believed to have reached their peak in physical health and mental and emotional maturity. But it was not completely unheard of for promising cadets to be pushed through the ranks quicker than normal. Even so, the other troops had whispered a lot about him when he joined the mission to D’Qar. They said he was Phasma’s favorite or he had cheated his way to get here. Eight-Seven just ignored them because it didn’t matter to him. All he wanted right now was to impress his captain.

Then they all felt it. The transport was touching down on the ground. The stormtrooper held his breath. This was really happening. This wasn’t another simulation or practice round or a dream in his head. Phasma was watching him. Watching to see if she had been right to send someone so young into battle, or if she had made a mistake.

The stormtrooper froze for a single second when the doors dropped open. And then at the signal, he ran into the thick jungles of D’Qar.

~

_A village near the Kelvin Ravine, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

When Rey came to, her head was pounding.

She cracked her eyes open and let out a soft groan. Wherever she was, it had a canvas above her shielding her from the sun. She could see a wooden pole beside her and there was a blanket beneath her. It was a tent, and she was lying on the ground. As she came back into consciousness more details came into view of her new surroundings, including some clay jars, stacks of rolled up paper, and a small power generator.

Then, the memories of her vision came rushing back to her. Being burned alive by the lava, being cut in half, and then killing her younger self.

Rey began to sit up as her breathing quickened, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Someone’s voice said,

“Shhh, easy now. Take it easy.”

“Who the fuck are you and where the fuck am I?!” Rey demanded. She blinked a few times. She was looking at a middle-aged Human woman with long brown hair and a blue dress. Rey found herself just staring at her. The woman’s face was slightly dirtied.

“Calm down, you’re safe here,” the woman said, shushing her some more. “My name is Dasha Promenti. You’re in the village of Tuanul.”

 _Tuanul? Then…she’s with the Church of the Force. Holy shit, I actually made it!_ Rey laid her head back and stared up at the roof of the tent. She had made it to the village, but she had no memory of getting here. The last couple days were still a bit of a blur in her head.

“What happened?” she asked, a bit softer this time.

“One of our gatherers found you right outside the Kelvin Ravine about four miles from here. You were unconscious and looked like you had hit your head on a rock. You’ve been here for, about a day now?” The woman—Dasha—gave her a soft smile. “Do you remember how you got here?”

 _Yeah, of course I fucking remember. I had just about the worst nightmare ever that would have killed any lesser person, like you for example, and I walked, oh I don’t know, twenty miles on a cut up foot with no food or water?! Shit, that reminds me…_ Rey glanced down.

“Your foot is fine. It was starting to get infected but our medicine helped treat it. Give it a few more days to heal and you’ll be good as new. Let me get you some water…” The woman reached for a canteen on her belt.

As Rey watched her and her senses cleared, she remembered what she had to do. These were Jedi worshipers. People who blindly supported a history of two-faced blindsided hermits who were only peacekeepers until it politically suited them to do otherwise. They were a plague. She could feel the Light coursing around this place, and it burned harsher than the sun. She was supposed to kill Dasha and every last one of them, and right now she would love to do nothing better. If only so she’d stop feeling so sick from the overwhelming presence of Light, of double standard after double standard.

Then it clicked in her head what the woman had just said. Water. Was she not supposed to have any for three days? Or was it no water until she arrived at the Tuanul? That part of Snoke’s instructions hadn’t been clear.

 _Well, whatever. I’m fucking thirsty and I need to be hydrated if I’m gonna slaughter a whole village,_ she reasoned with herself.

When the woman offered her the canteen, Rey didn’t stop her. She drank and despite the mineral taste bringing her back to when she used to drink all her water from Jakku, it was amazing. But she only got a couple gulps in when it was pulled away from her. Rey looked up at the woman in disgust.

“Sorry, don’t want you drinking too much or you’ll get sick. I’ll give you more in a bit.” Dasha smiled but Rey wasn’t having it.

“What about food? I’m hungry,” said Rey. She could have said that with less attitude, but it didn’t matter. This woman was going to be killed soon anyway.

“Oh, right. Sure.” Dasha left the tent for a few moments and returned with a bowl of soup and a couple slices of bread. “Try to sit up, but slowly. You were nearly dead when we found you. Any longer out there and you would have been a goner.”

Rey forced down a glare as she sat up. This woman was a member of the Church of the Force, and therefore was the enemy. She didn’t know who Rey was, or what she was capable of. She had no idea about the trials Rey had endured before and that she could have done this whole thing just fine without any help. How dare she. How dare she imply Rey was anything less than that, to assume Rey _needed_ their help. It was insulting.

She didn’t need their goddamn hospitality. She didn’t need to be treated like some lost little kitten who would have been so screwed over if only it weren’t for the grace and mercy of the Church. Rey wanted to spit. The Light disgusted her. What had it ever done for her but give her false hope? And now it gave her empty communion. Little did they know they were just giving fuel and energy to their own killer.

So, if only for the sheer irony of it, Rey accepted the food. She ate slowly, dipping the bread in the soup. She was able to sit up just fine, which seemed to surprise Dasha. Let her be surprised. The food had way too much flavor than Rey was used to; after eating tasteless nutrition cubes since she was fifteen, even just a pinch of salt and pepper made her tongue shrivel up. In the soup, she tasted some sort of potato and vegetable and a broth thickened by flour. A simple meal, but to Rey, the vast rainbow of flavors and textures it brought on was almost overwhelming. But that was something she didn’t need Dasha knowing about her, so she tried to hide her reaction. The bread was brittle and a bit sour but when it turned soggy in her mouth she got a whole lot of grain and herb flavors there too. Rey tried not to dwell on it and to focus more on just putting fuel in her body. Fuel that she desperately needed if she was going to finish this test. Dasha returned after about half hour, by which Rey had managed to finish the soup and bread. She handed back the empty bowl. Her stomach felt funny and her mouth and throat tingled with the unfamiliarity of the food. Rey decided that she missed the tasteless cubes after all. Those felt so normal and safe compared to this.

“Are you feeling better?” Dasha asked. Her smile and her tone were warm.

Rey hated it. Hated their charity, hated that Dasha must feel so great right now because she helped someone in need. But the irony would make all of this worth it really soon. Rey forced a small smile.

“Much better, thanks.”

“Pastor Lor San Tekka wants to say hello when you’re feeling up for it. He’s the leader of the village.”

“Uh huh…wait, what? There’s a pastor?” she asked, opting to play dumb on purpose.

Dasha smiled and nodded and began to explain what the Church of the Force was and what they were doing out on Jakku. Rey didn’t really care to listen since she already knew everything she needed to know about them. But she kept her fake smile up and let the woman ramble on…

Until Rey remembered something and felt a cold chill up her spine.

_My lightsaber._

_If they found that on me…do they know I’m a Sith? Are they playing with me too?_

Sure enough, when Rey subtly patted her belt where she had her lightsaber clipped, it was gone. They must have known what it was and taken it off her. And if they had ignited it as a test, they would have known it was not from a Jedi.

 _Fuck, FUCK, they know why I’m here. Force, Rey, you’re so stupid. She’s just keeping you distracted while the leaders are discussing what they’re going to do with you._ She wasn’t surprised that the woman’s kindness had all turned out to be a big fake act, but that didn’t change the fact that they knew she was the enemy. Rey did have one thing in her favor, however. During her education on the Church of the Force, Snoke informed her that just like the Sith Eternal, none of them had Force sensitivity. Or if they did, it was very minimal.

Suddenly Rey realized the woman had stopped speaking and was waiting for Rey to answer. Rey cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Sorry, what?” She blinked a couple times.

“I asked what your name is.”

“Uh, it’s Kira.” ‘Kira’ was one of the names she had called herself back when she first came out and began presenting as a girl. She had eventually settled on ‘Rey’ but still had a soft spot for the other names she now considered more like pseudo names or alter egos.

“Kira, if there’s anything you need, just let me know, all right?” Dasha patted the back of Rey’s hand.

Rey, without realizing why she did it, yanked her hand away when she felt the physical contact. The woman gave her a small curious look.

“I’m missing something,” she blurted out.

This remark made Dasha cock an eyebrow, then she nodded slowly, as if she had remembered.

“Ah, yes. The lightsaber. Where did you come upon such a weapon?”

Rey wondered if she had brought it up too soon. Oh, well. Too late now.

“I collect things. Found it on one of my adventures and just, I dunno, thought I’d hold onto it.” She knew they weren’t going to believe her. That was fine.

“I see,” Dasha said slowly. “And do you know where those weapons come from?”

Rey bit her lip.

“I think they’re…Jed-ee or something?” she asked in the highest pitch she could.

Dasha smiled. Yep, she wasn’t buying it at all. But what the villager did next came as a bit of a surprise to Rey. While she had anticipated that Dasha was going to back her into a corner and threaten her, perhaps restrain her and then kill her, that was not what she did. Instead, Dasha just smiled and patted the back of her hand a second time.

“It’s all right, Kira. We know you are trained in the Dark Side,” she said.

“Oops, you figured that out?” Rey asked meekly.

“Even if we had not found the Sith weapon on you, the Dark Side is strong within you.” Her hand was still over Rey’s. There was movement outside the tent and Dasha said something in a different language to whoever was outside. A second villager walked in; this time Rey was looking at an Abednedo male with a long turquoise robe. He said something to Dasha in his native tongue. “Kira, this is Ilco Munica. Ilco, when Pastor Tekka returns from his meditation be sure to let him know our guest is awake.”

“So you know why I’m here,” Rey finished. Why was this villager putting this off if she knew who Rey was, what she was capable of? She was their enemy, someone who represented against everything they stood for. If the village had any hint of sanity they would already be preparing to execute her right this instant. So why put it off if it was inevitable?

“Of course we do. You’re here because you don’t want to be a Sith anymore, so you want to convert.” Dasha’s smile grew.

Rey just blinked again. Was this supposed to be a joke? Her confusion must have been clear on her face because Dasha went on. As she did, the Abednedo sat beside Dasha, looking at Rey with a curiosity that bothered her. Like she was being deeply examined.

“It’s okay, Kira. You don’t have to explain yourself. We know how cruel and dark the galaxy is. That’s why we live here, set apart from all of it. Someone like you could only come here on purpose.”

 _Well, at least you got that part right,_ Rey thought to herself.

“People only show up to the Church of the Force to convert back to the Light,” Dasha continued to explain. “And we will welcome you in with open arms. Anything you need for help, you can just tell us.”

Rey was starting to hate that word, ‘convert.’ Like she was just some lost, wayward little girl in need of saving and they had all the answers she was looking for. How arrogant could you get?

For a moment Rey considered getting up and starting her task of killing them all. But she only had to move around a bit more to realize she wasn’t fully recovered yet. She could sit up, but she still felt pretty weak from the journey and the Sith magic-induced visions. That meant the destruction of Tuanul would have to wait. And consequently that meant for the time being at least, Rey had to call their bluff.

“Uh, yep. Can I have some more water, and some bread? I’m, like, _really_ tired.”

The two villagers glanced at each other before Ilco got up and left, presumably to honor Rey’s request. Dasha, yet again, patted Rey’s hand. That was starting to become quite annoying.

“I will let you know, conversion from the dark to the light is not a simple task. But we’re here to help you every step of the way.”

“Yeah, thanks,” was all Rey could muster. Not only did she lack the energy to strangle this woman to death right now, she lacked the energy to keep playing along with this lie. Luckily when Ilco returned with her bread and water that seemed to give Rey another opening for some alone time. They left her in the hut again and this time she ate and drank even slower.

 _Just get your strength up,_ she told herself. _Concentrate on that. Rest, eat, and drink. When you’re ready you get to kill them all and finish it and Master Snoke is going to be super proud of you._

She just hoped she’d be able to focus on that. The Light Side was so strong here, so blinding and distracting. Like the sun in midday constantly shining right in your line of vision no matter where you looked. Rey thought the visions were bad, but this was just a constant, grating annoyance. And sooner or later it was going to become unbearable.

But that would take a while, and she had until tomorrow, which would be the three-day mark that Snoke had given her to complete the test. That was enough time for her to rest up.

Rey took another bite of her bread. This time, knowing beforehand all the new textures and flavors, she handled it better. She let it sit in her mouth until it was soggy, then swallowed the whole thing and washed it down with another sip of water. This was repeated over and over until she ate every last crumb and the canteen was emptied again.

Content, at least for the time being, Rey laid back down and pulled the blanket over herself. Outside, she faintly heard the sounds of villagers going about, doing mundane tasks most likely. She could hear water being drawn from what had to be a vaporator cistern of some sort.

 _I have time,_ she said to herself as she dozed off. _I have time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might be wondering why I made Finn younger by several years. Basically it's to help his role in the story make more sense with what I want to do with his character arc. I have a LOT of fun stuff planned for him (as in fun for me being the conniving writer I am). And for Finn's journey in this rewrite to work, I decided that his story needed to begin at a younger age for him. Hopefully that all makes more sense later on!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHARACTER PLAYLISTS:  
> Ben Solo: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4uj72Zwvop7zdK9JEctEuU?si=zS77ym5uQxKh-zB-wkAxug  
> Dark Rey: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Wf77o382kN5oS4O8CxDYX?si=7EtBz4VUTfeG41ez-LSfjQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -war combat, some graphic violence (including animal death)  
> -mention of 'church' as in Church of the Force (If you have religious trauma from the Christian church should probably approach this chapter with caution)

_Resistance headquarters, D’Qar – Month 4, Day 13, 34 ABY_

As Poe watched, stormtroopers poured out from the jungle into the opening. Their armor was blue in the moonlight, starkly contrasting the glowing red of blaster fire. In the back of his mind, Poe quickly calculated that he was looking at two entire companies.

“Covering fire!” a fellow commander farther behind shouted into the dark.

Poe heard a loud scream beside him. It was Cash, the other twin brother, and he was crying out Kit’s name.

“They got Kit! Oh god, _no_!” the brother wailed.

Poe clenched his jaw. This was no time to grieve. If they survived this, they could grieve later. He grabbed Cash by the arm and gave him a small shake that Poe hoped came off as affirming instead of aggressive.

“Then avenge him and shoot down those assholes!” he shouted at the young man. Then he grabbed his com and contacted the base again. “Commander Dameron to base, we need those petrol speeders and fast!”

_“Roger that, Commander. Patrol speeders are moving out.”_

Cash braced his jaw, still staring at the spot where his brother had been just seconds ago. He turned and began shooting at the stormtroopers, eyes cloudy with tears. Poe joined him, pressing down on the trigger. Glad to take out as many of them as he could.

The AT-AT opened fire on the trenches, shaking the ground. Poe braced himself and looked as troops were blown apart; if they didn’t disintegrate completely they were thrown about and the impact alone killed them. Poe ordered the troops to move down the trench to get out of range of the AT-AT.

The D’Qar jungle lit up with blaster fire. It was like a firework display, brilliant and bright and warm. Poe grabbed two thermal detonators and threw them as far as he could, then used the ensuing explosion to cover him and Cash as they ran for cover. He glanced behind him to see how the troopers were holding up just in time for the speeders to soar over the trenches. The bottom of one of the speeders was so close he could feel the hair at the top of his head rustle from the air flow.

“Hey! Do you mind?” he snapped at the pilot he knew had to be none other than Temmin ‘Snap’ Wexley. He was part of Poe’s team, Black Squadron, and one of his most dependable pilots. Poe only snapped half in jest, however, since he knew no other pilot would pull such a reckless move without being absolutely sure they could do it. Sure enough, he heard Snap give a small but hearty laugh through the com.

_“What? You looked like you could use a haircut.”_

“Remind me to thank you when we’re done here,” said Poe. He looked up at the AT-AT and thought of it as a giant monster. Even though it wasn’t alive its movements looked frighteningly like that of an animal. That was probably planned on the Empire’s part when they initially designed it, he mused absently. It crushed two large trees as it stepped on them, branches raining down into the brush. And the stormtroopers kept on coming.

Poe thought quickly. The First Order wasn’t here to just destroy the base; there was vital information inside they wanted to retrieve. Was the major offensive their strategy to get inside, or was it intended to keep the Resistance distracted? Either way, he had to focus on his mission from Leia. They were here for the map, not for D’Qar.

Another barrage of blasts from the AT-AT shoved Poe against the walls of the trench. He collapsed on his side, and soon realized he had just gotten a mouthful of dirt. He spat it out and got up, then heard crackling from his com. He looked up, and saw that the AT-AT had knocked down a petrol speeder while the rest moved in and hit it with everything they got. The ensuing explosion made Poe’s teeth rattle.

Before he could even brush off his jacket, his com crackled with more news from the air support.

_“Lookout to base, lookout to base. Reinforcements have been spotted coming in from the north. You’ve got two more AT-AT’s, three AT-ST’s, and a whole lotta stormtroopers.”_

_“Blue Squadron, deploy to your X-Wings!”_

Poe’s heart was racing by now. They had been prepared for a ground assault, sure, but not an attack of this scale. The Resistance High Command had had no choice but to spread out the troops and ships throughout their major bases. Never knowing which one was going to be attacked in time, they had had little choice. It was going to take a lot of manpower to keep the First Order at bay. If they broke through the defenses…

The Commander’s train of thought was interrupted by a scream on his com. Another patrol speeder had been shot down.

 _“Commanders, we’re sending out bombers to the AT-AT’s but you got a helluva fight coming your way,”_ he heard from air support.

Poe didn’t even have time to make a quip about how they were already in a ‘helluva fight’ as it was. He stood up in the trench now, holding on fast to his blaster rifle. Over the com, he heard that the base had contacted General Organa to inform her of the attack. As he watched two more speeders explode in a brilliant, devastating display of fire and wreckage, he knew it was only a matter of time before the order came in from High Command. Another speeder down. Another attack from the AT-AT, taking out an entire platoon. He looked into the jungle again, seeing the glowing blue of stormtroopers armor all across the ground from the dead and taking cover behind trees and brush as they opened fire. No matter how hard they resisted, the First Order just wouldn’t stop coming.

Fury began to swell within him. Fury at the Order for killing his troops, his friends, his cadets. They were taking away everything General Organa and the other Resistance leaders had spent the past several years working so hard to protect, destroy what his parents fought and died for when he was a child. Leia could have taken the easy route—found a new career path even in light of the scandal that came out about her biological father, retired, bought a home in a corner of the galaxy untouched by any wars—but she didn’t. She chose to keep fighting, even after spending her whole life saving a galaxy that turned on her when she needed help. And these power-hungry extremists were trying to tear all of that apart.

His rage gave him new energy, and Poe kept shooting at them. Knowing in the grand scheme that taking down a few random stormtroopers wouldn’t do anything to stop the First Order, but he could at least make them hurt a little bit right here, right now. Poe let his thoughts leave him, and he wasn’t thinking of the carnage around him.

At least, not until another barrage from the AT-AT knocked him right off his feet. He was getting real sick of this.

This time when Poe got up, he felt fear for the first time tonight. The stormtroopers had all but filled the jungle right now. The Resistance numbers were dwindling. Poe saw far fewer shots coming from them than towards them, now that he was paying attention to the battle. And any stragglers had been finished off by the AT-AT.

Just several meters away, a Resistance platoon was surrounded and forced to surrender. As Poe watched, they dropped their weapons and lifted their hands up and behind their heads…and then more blaster shots rang out. They were shot dead seconds after surrendering. Poe screamed out in rage at the sight, even though it was already too late.

The stormtroopers broke formation and were now coming for the last few troopers still left in front of the base, including Poe. No matter how he looked at the situation now, there was no point in lying to himself or pretending. They were surrounded and outgunned. The First Order had overwhelmed them with much more force than they had prepared for.

D’Qar was lost.

Poe was about to get back up and keep shooting when he heard a new voice crackle through his com. It was a transmission meant just for him. Poe called out to the cadets nearby to give him cover while he pulled back to receive the transmission. Once they threw their detonators, he made a run for it. Poe found cover behind a large stack of crates. By now, the First Order troops were so close he could hear their footsteps against the hard ground, unable to be stopped or slowed down. Around Poe, many Resistance fighters lay dead, shot or blown to pieces. He recognized many of their faces, but he couldn’t think about that right now.

 _“Dameron, it’s General Organa.”_ She spoke carefully into the com, to make sure he heard every word. At the sound of her voice, Poe’s stomach went cold. She wouldn’t be talking to him right now unless it was very serious. _“D’Qar is about to be overrun. It’s time. Leave the base and take the map with you.”_

“But General—”

_“The Resistance needs that map. If there ever comes a time that I cannot guide you to the Temple or you cannot contact my brother—”_

“Leia, don’t talk like that. Please don’t…” He hated begging, but he couldn’t help it. The thought of something happening to her—the hero Poe heard stories about growing up that inspired him to be somebody—no…he couldn’t lose someone like her. It was his worst nightmare. He _needed_ her. And it was crazy and stupid to say it, but he couldn’t help it.

There was shouting behind him. Poe dared take a small glance over the crate he hid behind. A long line of stormtroopers were coming right at the last of the defense. As they marched in formation, cold and machine-like, they mowed down the troopers still bunkered down in the trenches. Some dropped their weapons and surrendered. But again, they were shot down too. Poe thought of the patrol speeders out there, trying to take down the AT-AT’s. Snap was out there with them. Were they all dead too? Was every single one of them already shot down?

_“Poe, listen to me. Get that map and secure it in a safe facility. I’ll send you coordinates of where to go. When the time comes, the Resistance will need a way to reach the Jedi. And for the Jedi to reach us.”_

“But—”

_“This is a direct order, Commander. Leave D’Qar with the map. Now!”_

He had no choice.

“Yes, General.” He signed off and stood up. He couldn’t look at the dead and dying troops around him. This was bigger than saving the base, he told himself. He had to focus on the mission.

Poe waited until he had an opening in the crossfire. Then he began to run across the landing area, back into the base. Everything now counted on how much time he had left, and time was already running out.

~

The stormtrooper was running.

He felt that the ground underneath him was hard dirt and covered with thick brush. D’Qar, they had been informed, was a jungle planet, with some ancient structures built thousands of years ago that were now mostly eroded. The local creatures were mostly just birds, lizards, and a few mammalian and reptilian predators, but they would be nowhere to be seen within a good few mile radius around the base.

In training, they had faced all sorts of animals, climates, and extreme weather in the simulations. But at the end of the day, you knew it still wasn’t real. Even if you were shooting down targets in pouring rain that soaked through your clothes, or a freezing blizzard so cold you could feel your lungs hurt with each breath…you still knew, somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind, that that’s all it was. A program, a product of technology. But this ground was real, and the plants were real, and the moonlight and the stars and the sweat on his brow and the humid air…it was all very real. And it scared him.

 _I’m just a kid,_ the stormtrooper, who was sometimes called Eight-Seven, thought with growing fear. _I’m way too young to be here._

Captain Phasma led them down the hill towards the base, where many on both sides now lay dead. She ordered them not to stop moving, to keep running forward and overwhelm the Resistance with their numbers. So he did not stop, letting himself keep moving. He was afraid that if he stopped or even slowed down he would never be able to move again. At the sight of so many killed, Eight-Seven felt a panic rise in his throat. If seasoned, fully grown soldiers could be mowed down like this, what did that mean for him? Forget that he had finished training faster than most; he was still young!

His heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his fingertips. He wanted to look away from the dead bodies, but he couldn’t. In the faint moonlight, he could see bits of blood and gore on the ground and trickling between their armor plates. One soldier had had their helmet, and consequently part of their head, blown off completely. But Eight-Seven did not stop running. He did not dare stop. His legs did not feel like a part of his body anymore.

“We’ve got them surrounded. They’ve got no chance of escape. Fire at will! Kill them!” Phasma shouted at her troops.

The stormtrooper felt his finger over the trigger, but he could not shoot. His hand was frozen stiff. Like something inside him had suddenly shut down.

Someone was standing beside him. Phasma’s chromium armor gleamed in the D’Qar moonlight.

“FN-2187! Why aren’t you shooting?” she shouted. Her voice cut through the muggy air filled with laser bolts.

The stormtrooper flinched. He pulled the trigger. And the instant the laser bolt struck a Resistance trooper and their heart stopped beating, Eight-Seven felt something he had never felt before and he screamed loud enough to wake the dead. Only it didn’t.

~

_Tuanul village, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 12,_ _34 ABY_

Rey only got a few hours’ sleep in, but it worked wonders. The second time she woke up she felt much stronger and more relaxed. Now, she took her time to stand up and stretch. She checked her foot and the bandages; turns out, Dasha had been right. At least the Tuanul villagers knew how to treat injuries. There was nothing in the hut that struck her interest; just crates, jars, and barrels containing various supplies.

One thing she knew for sure. She needed to find her lightsaber.

Unless they had gotten rid of it, which was probable, Rey could only guess the leader of the village was holding onto it, the so-called Pastor Lor San Tekka. She had to get close to him soon. There was still plenty of time until the end of the third day, but Rey didn’t want to risk putting it off. After all, they thought she was here as a convert. To ‘turn back to the Light’ or however Dasha put it. They might have some things they wanted her to do to begin her conversion.

Rey moved to the entrance and lifted the flap. It was early evening right now, still a lot of light but that wouldn’t last much longer. She watched the villagers idly as they moved around. The village was comprised of barely twenty or so huts that clustered around a large vaporator cistern. The huts looked like they were constructed by clay, sticks, and twigs.

Before she could slip back inside, two villagers noticed her. It was Dasha and another Human woman carrying an infant in her arms.

“Kira! Come join us. You’re just in time.”

“For what?” Rey asked as she stepped outside. With every step she felt the Light Side even more. Her head hurt from it. The woman beside Dasha spoke.

“We perform a special ceremony for any new arrival into the village. And since you’re a Darksider here to convert, it makes this even more special.”

“It does, huh?” Rey asked, not amused and not liking where this was going. A ceremony, in her honor? What spices were these people on?

“Yes! It’s simple but very meaningful. Gather around with us in the middle of the village and you’ll see what we mean,” said Dasha, who suddenly glanced to her right. “Oh, Pastor Tekka, Kira is joining us!”

“Good. Very good,” said Lor San Tekka. He was an elderly Human with white hair and a weathered face, clad in dark robes. He approached the three women with his eyes solely on Rey.

Rey looked at him and the Dark Side whispered something to her. He was hiding something. Something that was hers and he no longer intended to let her keep…

_My lightsaber. This guy has my lightsaber!_

It had to be hidden on his belt, underneath his cloak. Rey had to stop herself from smiling. This guy believed in her supposed conversion so strongly he was walking up to her with her weapon within arm’s reach. That was a new level of arrogance.

“It is good to finally meet our newest member of the Church,” Tekka said to her. He reached out a hand to her but she didn’t take it. “You’re just in time.”

“For the ceremony, yeah. What is it?” Rey knew she should really get on with killing them, but she had a slight curiosity for this ‘ceremony.’ She had only seen Sith Eternal ones before. Would the Church of the Force have something very similar or entirely different?

“You’ll see.” He nodded to the Abednedo who was bringing a creature to the center of the village where everyone was gathered. It was a Cracian thumper. Rey had seen those a few times on Jakku as beasts of burden or domestic pets. They were peaceful, non-aggressive herbivores that were also quite sturdy. Rey also noticed that this Cracian thumper in particular was heavily pregnant. “You see, to begin your return to the Light we first need a vessel for the Dark Side to enter, and then we need to destroy that vessel.”

Rey felt her muscles tense a bit and she gave Pastor Tekka a wary glare. He just gave her a slight smile.

“Watch and see what I mean.”

“You’re gonna kill that animal?”

“Yes and no.” He nodded to four male villagers and they moved in on the Cracian thumper. One grabbed its large whipping tail and tied it down so it wouldn’t lash out at anyone. Two more grabbed ropes around the creature’s neck and pulled tight to hold it steady. The fourth pulled out a large dagger. But instead of moving to its throat, he aimed the knife at its womb.

“What the…” was all Rey could mutter, before she saw the dagger plunge into the creature. It roared with pain but the three men holding it down held fast. It was clear this was not their first time committing this ‘ceremony.’ The rest of the village clapped and a few even cheered. As for the villager, he dragged the dagger through the womb. Blood and amniotic fluid poured all over the ground, soaking the man’s arms and chest. He kept pulling on the knife.

Rey had never been taught to feel compassion for sentient creatures, and she didn’t. But she did feel a little ill. Especially since this was all because they believed she came here to join them.

Then, as everyone clapped again, another villager moved in to help the man with the knife. Together, they reached in and their arms disappeared up to the elbow inside the Cracian thumper’s womb. The creature was still howling but was beginning to weaken from the severe blood loss. The men backed away and something was in their arms. Rey saw a large purplish object that twitched slightly. It was still contained in the amniotic sac.

“That’s its baby…” she whispered aloud. “But it’s not ready to be born yet.”

“New life. New beginnings. Life can only begin with death,” said Tekka.

The prematurely born Cracian thumper was wailing and crying. The sound was hideous. Made Rey want to look away from the whole thing. Its body wouldn’t stop twitching and based on its size it still needed at least another month in the womb before being born. She also saw the baby’s mother look up as she leaned over, slowly fading. Even though it was not a sentient being, Rey could have sworn she saw a look in the mother’s eyes that meant that, in some form and to some degree, she understood what was happening. What these villagers were doing to her and to her baby. And that made Rey furious.

To wrap the ceremony up, the villagers grabbed at the baby Cracian jumper and slowly, methodically, sawed its head off with the dagger. It cried, then gurgled for a bit, and then was no more. All along the mother was forced to watch. When the baby was finally dead, the body was collected for what Rey was told would be a meal that night; since apparently, premature baby Cracian jumper was quite the delicacy. The mother, meanwhile, was left to bleed out on the ground and die.

With that, the villagers clapped again and then dispersed, left to gossip and get excited about the special meal tonight. Lor San Tekka turned to Rey.

“And it’s done. Now that the sacrifice has been made, you can become a fully-fledged member of our Church.”

Rey was shaking and trying not to think about what she had just seen. She couldn’t imagine how these people could believe they were any better than the Sith Eternal when they seemed to be just as bad. How could they claim to be of a higher level of morals when this was their idea of a ceremony? Even Rey knew that a baby animal didn’t do anything wrong and shouldn’t die like that, especially while the mother was forced to watch. That was just wrong. Wrong and sick.

She looked up at Tekka with a new boiling hatred for him. At that, Rey decided it was time to end this. She couldn’t stand another minute of playing along.

“What if I don’t want to join?” she asked.

“But Kira. Why else would you come all the way out here? It’s what you want deep down, isn’t it?” asked Tekka. “To be accepted and to belong? To love and be loved again?”

Rey glanced at his cloak. Her lightsaber was just a few feet away from her fingertips.

“Uh, actually no. I want to rule the galaxy,” Rey answered. She smiled at him, her sweetest cutest smile she had saved for this exact moment. Then, for a second, she closed her eyes to reach out into the darkness and find her strength. With a day’s rest and plenty of food and water in her now, she was unstoppable. The light in front of her eyes was snuffed out, and the heat of Jakku’s sun was no more. Warmth turned to cold, soft sand to hard stone, day to night, dawn to dusk.

When Rey opened her eyes, the whole village was staring at her. The man named Tekka was staring at her with a mixture of fear and horror, like she was a monster sprung out from whatever form of hell or the underworld these people believed in. That just made Rey smile even more.

Her wrappings swept around her as in one swift motion, she reached out one hand while keeping the other behind her to steady herself. Her legs dropped down in a kneeling position. Her open palm hit the sand. Instantly, a strong force struck out around her in all directions. It kicked up sand, sent crates and jars and furniture flying into the air. Tekka was knocked to the ground, the force along breaking several bones in his body before he collapsed.

Rey stood up and cracked her knuckles, feeling new mania coming on with the energy surging in her. As the villagers stared at her, and a few were smart enough to begin running, she walked over to Tekka and snatched her lightsaber. When it ignited, she heard a few cries of fear.

“Okay, guys! Who wants to play first?” she hollered. As she stood in place, three villagers rushed to Tekka, who was lying on the ground moaning in pain from his broken bones. Rey wanted to kill him first but she also wanted him to suffer a bit longer. Maybe even kill him last of all so his last moments could be watching his village be destroyed. His anguish and grief would give her even more strength in the Dark Side.

At the sight of them trying to pull their pastor to safety, Rey had to roll her eyes.

“Oh come on, seriously, people?! Why are you helping him?” she asked them, who looked up at her in disgust. Let them; they’d pay for it really soon. “At least try to make a run for it and save your own skins. Have some goddamn self-respect.”

“We protect each other. We do not just run in the face of danger,” one of the villagers seethed at her.

“Well, that’s pretty stupid. Some people call that brave. But it’s just stupid.” She let out a small sigh then ignited her lightsaber, secretly hoping at least a few of the villagers would run. Prey was never fun to kill if it just sat there and took it like a damn masochist. Without that fear, horror, and dwindling hope of survival, what was the point? Rey swept her saber back and forth, the villagers still staring at her. “Last chance to run!”

The four members of the Church of the Force glared at her. More specifically, at the red double-edged lightsaber she held. Had they ever seen one before? Most likely not. For many years the only Sith in the galaxy were Lord Sidious and Lord Vader. And before that, just Lord Sidious and his apprentices who had to come before Vader’s time. Even now, Snoke had never been officially ranked as a Sith, merely the leader of the cult who followed Sith teachings and someone who knew the Dark Side. The Church of the Force probably talked about the Sith—and possibly all Dark Side users—like they had caused all the problems in the galaxy, like all they wanted was to mess up the order of things. Well, all of that was about to change. Rey looked at them and said in one quick breath,

“Goingoncegoingtwice-GONE!”

Before any of them could move, she sliced her saber at them in a perfect swooping angle. She watched the three villagers’ heads roll into the sand, while Lor San Tekka looked on in horror. Good. That was exactly what she wanted.

Rey heard the other villagers scream out. A few of them began to run away out into the desert. In the back of her mind she made a rough estimation that there were about thirty to forty people here in total. A few, Rey realized, had decided they were going to try doing something about the attacker instead of just running like cowards. They were grabbing their handmade weapons—staffs, old model blasters, most likely only used to protect themselves from thieves and wild animals. No match against a Sith apprentice.

Rey gave them all a few seconds to turn towards her, weapons drawn. They were closing in a circle. As if being surrounded by villagers could stop her. Idly, she looked up at the sky, pretending to appear bored. In reality, Rey was reaching out to the Dark Side to find another channel for her assault. What was out there that she could use to help her destroy the village? What was she not using that was at her disposal?

There, something one of the villagers was grabbing from the center…a torch from a firepit. Perfect; Rey loved playing with fire.

She used the Force to pull the torch out of the villager’s grasp and clutched it in her left hand, her drawn saber in her right. Rey licked her lips, then looked at the villagers closing in. They had anger in their eyes but it was a righteous anger, the kind that convinced them they were doing something holy by destroying her. She could have just started mowing them down one by one, but Rey wanted to make this extra fun. She wanted to make it matter. She wanted Master Snoke to feel it all the way from Exegol. Feel her power and rage and hunger for destruction.

As a few villagers swung weapons at her, Rey jumped up into the air several feet above their heads. When she landed, she slashed her saber in front of her, then ran towards the nearest huts, using the Force to speed her up. She threw the torch at the roof. In seconds, it was set ablaze. It only took a bit more of Force power to help her build up the fire and give it more strength. The flames did not take long to spread to the huts on its left and right. It would only be a matter of time, then, before the whole village was up in flames.

The sick feeling began again. The Light Side was so strong here it made Rey nauseous. They had healed her from near-death only to turn on her, pretending they cared about her. They hid from a galaxy in need of order so they could have their own happy little life in the middle of nowhere.

She hated them. And now Rey didn’t just want to kill them for the sake of making Snoke proud of her. She genuinely wanted to do it for her sake as well. To see them suffer and die.

Rey turned around and faced the villagers still coming at her. The only sound she knew was the hum from her lightsaber. The only thing she saw was the Light, burning her eyes and hurting her skin.

And then, one by one, she began to cut them down. Not caring how messy her form was, since that didn’t matter. Not caring if they died instantly or were going to lie on the ground and die in several minutes or an hour. She just kept slashing her saber in front of her, over and over. Cutting in front, and seeing bodies chopped to pieces. Watching them scream and fall. There were a few children and infants among them, but that was a fact that hardly registered in Rey’s mind. To her they were all the same, just a few were smaller and their screams were higher-pitched. She killed them in the same manner.

Anyone who had finally decided to make a run for it, Rey grabbed with the Force and dragged back to her through the sand. Anyone who tried to shoot her or swing a staff at her, she slashed down and stomped on their body. Nothing and no one could stop her. She was full of rage, a deep boiling hatred for the world around her that had denied her any chance at happiness or a normal life. And all she knew how to do was destroy everything around her just like the child within her had been destroyed over and over. So that was exactly what she did.

One villager, a tall Human male, charged at her with a staff from behind. Rey saw it coming but again, she didn’t care to defend herself since there was so little she needed protection from. The guy actually managed to get a small hit in. It was barely anything, just a small collision where the end of his staff met her elbow. But it really pissed her off. And physical contact without warning was one of the top things she hated the most. Rey turned around, baring her teeth at him.

“DON’T…TOUCH…ME!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. As the man stared at her, she used the Force to throw him into one of the burning huts. His cries of agony as he burned to death in seconds made her feel a little better, but not much.

Rey did not stop. She couldn’t. She just kept going. Eventually, when most of the villagers were dead and only a scattered handful remained, she began walking around the huts. Any that hadn’t been set aflame by then, she brought the flames to them with the Force. Watching them burn brought her great pleasure, and it felt like it soothed the fire within her as well.

As for any villager still breathing, Rey chased them down one by one and poured all her hatred for the Light into her weapon as she struck them down. No mercy, no kindness. No innocence. And just as she planned, Tekka was the last to die.

When her work was finally done, Rey paused and looked up at the sky. It was still bright with daylight, but now large pillars of dark smoke were rising up from the burning village. They were already very high up in the sky and it was only a matter of time before the smoke attracted attention from locals. Rey had full confidence in kicking the ass of any scavenger who dared cross her path, but the sooner she got off this hellhole the better. Rey had already been here quite long enough.

Rey closed her eyes. The adrenaline was still making her tremble but she had to focus.

“Master?” she whispered into the Force, which now had lost its source of Light and already began to teem with Darkness, “I finished. The Church of the Force on Jakku is no more.” In only a couple seconds he sensed her reaching out to him and she heard him inside her head as clearly as if he were standing right in front of her.

_“Good, very good, my little Rey. You survived the test.”_

“You said a ship would be here to come pick me up?” she asked. It was the third day, so surely any moment it would be arriving nearby.

_“I have some unfortunate news. The ship I deployed to come retrieve you from Jakku was shot down on its way there.”_

She tried to hide her disappointment, but it was impossible. Now she was stuck on Jakku even longer? And for how long?

“I see, Master,” was all she could say.

_“You do not have to worry. Now that the village is gone, I will send for another ship immediately.”_

“Actually, Master…if it’s all right…” Rey said carefully, “I would really like to begin my mission with the First Order as soon as I can. I can just head to the nearest outpost and find a ride out of here.”

_“Are you certain, Rey?”_

“Master Snoke, I grew up here. I can get a ride out of here easy. And besides, the First Order needs me,” she said in a overly sweet tone. Snoke’s reply came as a slight surprise, but even he probably couldn’t argue that any time she spent on Jakku now was a waste.

_“Very well. You will go to Starkiller Base and begin your mission. Do you remember the coordinates I gave you?”_

“Yes, Master. I still have them memorized.” They were special coordinates, after all. Starkiller Base was going to be her new home away from home.

 _“Then go. I will meet you there when the time is right,”_ he said. _“When you reach Starkiller Base you will be welcomed into the First Order High Command. You will receive more instructions when you arrive.”_

Rey felt her Master leave as quickly as he had arrived in her head.

But not for long. She had made him proud of her; she knew that much. The Church on Jakku was gone thanks to her. Her final test was finally done. If Rey knew how to stop and breathe for more than one minute she might have taken the moment to just celebrate her accomplishment. But Rey wasn’t the sort of person who knew how to stop.

She stood up and brushed the sand off her knees. Now all she needed was a ticket out of here. Only question was, what sort of pilot would be willing to leave Jakku with the likes of her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My portrayal of the Church of the Force was partially inspired by the Ari Aster movie "Midsommar" for anyone who was curious XD If we had more time I might have gone further into how 'extreme' they can get but that might be for another occasion. Writing this I was really intrigued by the idea of how too much of the 'Light' side can be as bad as the 'Dark', so of course "Midsommar" was the perfect muse for something like that heehee. And yes, Ari Aster's other project to date also inspired the Sith Eternal, but that will come more into play later...
> 
> Also...Temmin 'Snap' Wexley is one of the most underappreciated sequel trilogy era characters. I love him so much T___T I will protect Snap at all costs.


	9. Chapter 9

_Niima Outpost, Jakku -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Ben Solo hated Jakku.

And to be frank, ‘hate’ was going to become a gross understatement real soon.

They had only been here two days, and he could feel his patience already starting to run thin. When they landed _Odysseus_ on a little scab on this planet the locals called Niima Outpost, they were greeted by what seemed to be a bunch of people who did not want to be here yet were stuck here or had wound up here by circumstances out of their control. The law enforcement was limited and even they seemed to have their own dirty deals going on with the businessmen here. You were either taking advantage of everyone around you, sucking as many credits as you could out of them, or you were a victim of the system and had to play your part in it or you were a goner.

Jakku sort of reminded Ben of passenger ship terminals. Everyone there was stressed out, hated each other, and wanted to leave. You only went there so you could get away as quick as you could, and if you were stuck there you felt doubly fucked over.

Only this place was hot, dry, and ugly. At least terminals had cool air and hot food.

They kept _Odysseus_ away from the locals who wandered around the outpost. Not that Ben worried about anyone trying to steal such a big ship, but he didn’t feel like taking the risk. Other than having to file with Constable Zuvio to allow his ship to be stationed here, he didn’t run into any trouble. A few stragglers—poor souls beaten down inside and out by the harsh sandstorms—wandered up to look at his ship now and then, marvel at its cleanliness and how much it stood out here. But Ben ignored them, and they would soon go back to their own business.

That was just how he wanted his time on Jakku to be. No one to bother him or interfere with his plans.

On the bright side, with K8 and Delta’s help, repairing the ship did not take long at all. Once Ben had had a good night’s sleep and something to eat (along with way more caf and cigs than anyone needed in a week, much less in a day) they ran all the tests on the null quantum field generator until they were certain it was fully operational again. That was the easy part. The difficult part was camping out here until Ben could safely assume the First Order was no longer up there looking for them. He wanted to say four to five days would be plenty, but he didn’t want to take the risk of being identified and hunted down. The last thing he needed was getting his name on the First Order wanted list.

Then again, his mom was in Resistance High Command…so maybe he was already on their list anyway.

In which case, he just had to hide on Jakku to avoid the reinforcements coming for the buddies he shot down. And that made him wonder, what the hell was the First Order doing out here anyway? What had they been looking for? What was out here they had been interested in?

But Ben told himself he didn’t care. The First Order would be gone soon once the Resistance pulled together and stopped them. Easy-peasy, just like the last war. He didn’t need to stress about it.

It was early morning. One of the times of day that Niima Outpost seemed the least shitty of a place to be. After running the final tests on _Odysseus_ to be sure she was fully repaired, Ben laid down for another quick nap, then got up to watch the sunrise. He headed to the upper deck and entered a room he had designed to house the ship’s best viewport. It had a large floor-to-ceiling window that looked out to the rest of the ship. The room was open and spacious, with several sofas and tables and even a bar, perfect for groups of travelers who wanted a place to hang out with a nice view. When he had some extra credits Ben hoped to install some gaming tables in here too. Bored passengers could sneak around and get into mischief and he wanted to avoid that if he could. Ben picked one of the larger, cozy couches and sprawled out on it, kicking his feet up as he sipped his caf.

For now, his day was quiet. The droids were both in sleep mode, and Niima Outpost didn’t have much of anything going on.

Ben lit another cig and looked up at the sky as the sun slowly came up. The other day, he remembered seeing some smoke on the horizon. He hadn’t ventured down to see what the locals had to say about it, but the outpost did not erupt with distress so he hadn’t worried about it. Still, he was curious what caused all that smoke. Way too much to be from a ship crash.

When his mug was empty, Ben stood up. Now he began to realize he had very little to do all day except just wait to leave Jakku. And it started to stress him out…a lot. Ben didn’t like being bored.

 _Maybe I should head outside for a bit,_ he wondered, staring out of the viewport. There was a dull-looking marketplace and some blockhouses he could see from here. Maybe they were worth at least exploring a bit. See if the locals had any information about the First Order’s presence out here.

_Well, I got a lot of time to kill. Might as well._

Ben pulled on his jacket and a few credits just in case, then fastened his blaster on his belt. With that, he left the ship, unaware that his life was about to change forever.

~

After searching a little while around the burning village, Rey found an old speeder hidden out back behind a hut. It hadn’t been used in some time, probably reserved only for emergencies. But after a couple tries she got the engine running. She also retrieved her comlink which had also been taken from her when she lost consciousness. With it, she put in the contact to reach First Order High Command on Starkiller Base.

“Jakku to base, this is Rey. Come in,” she said a couple times. After waiting a moment she heard a reply and she heard the voice of General Pryde.

_“Ah, you survived the test. Excellent. Your master said you would be contacting us shortly.”_

“Well, good! And of course I survived,” she said, sulking. “I need you on standby for about twelve hours or so. I’m gonna need a funds transfer soon to pay my way to Starkiller Base. Standard Galactic credits.”

_“How many credits are we looking at?”_

“Mmm…probably a hundred, maybe two. Depends how greedy my ride is gonna be. You might get the money back, though. I haven’t decided if I’ll kill them when I get there or not. That depends too.” She was thinking aloud. Whoever got her to Starkiller would be in for a surprise, that was for sure. Whether Snoke was okay with said person being kept alive after bringing his future Empress there was a whole other conversation Rey didn’t need to concern herself with for now.

_“Very well, my lady. Let me know when you want the transfer to be made.”_

And that was it. No questioning her order, no demand to know why she asked for the credits. He just obeyed and like that, she had him on standby. Rey grinned. So, this was what her life would be like having completed the test. One second she had nothing, the next she had all the credits she needed and then some.

 _I like this! Girl could get used to it._ Maybe that was part of what General Pryde had been going on about on the trip here, she wondered.

Before leaving, Rey searched a few of the bodies until she had retrieved several water canteens and some handfuls of food. It wasn’t a whole lot but would keep her sustained until she left Jakku. And she had a good handle on rationing out supplies to last her a while.

As for the village, Rey left it as it was. Let the bodies rot or be picked away by the locals. Let the huts burn to nothing and whatever survived be ransacked. None of it mattered anymore. She didn’t even want to scavenge for any ancient Jedi artifacts or the like that the Sith Eternal might make some use out of. All of it just needed to decay and disappear into the sand. It was better that way, to let it just all die away.

The last thing she looked at before leaving was the body of the baby Cracian thumper that had been set aside to be cooked later. There was no point in burying it and the idea of taking some of the meat to cook for herself later made her feel gross, so in the end she just left it there. By now, it was after dark and Jakku was cooling down with the nightfall.

She hopped on the speeder and looked out to the wilderness around her. Rey began thinking back to her years living on Jakku, trying to calculate where she was and where she needed to go. Studying the horizon and landscape, using it as her own internal compass. She spotted the edge of the Kelvin Ravine a couple clicks away, noting the way the ground turned rocky and stooped down. From there, Rey figured she could find her way to Niima Outpost fairly easy by morning.

It wasn’t an ideal place to go. People like Unkar Plutt were probably still there, and it would bring back a lot of bad memories Rey had buried deep down. But her other options, like Cratertown or Blowback Town, were farther away. And Rey didn’t trust this old piece of junk speeder to get her that far. And plus, she wanted to get out of here, fast.

Having made her decision, she started up the engine and began heading towards Kelvin Ravine.

~

Some hours later, just as the sun was coming up again, Rey turned a bend around a large dune and saw Niima Outpost coming into view. The outpost was, more or less, a small speck of life on an otherwise desolate terrain that stretched out flat and barren for miles in every direction. Frankly, ‘outpost’ was too fancy a word for it. Niima was more like a bazaar meets a junkyard meets a hub for local goons and scavengers to mingle. It had been named after the infamous Niima the Hutt. The Hutt in question had come out here as a result of Jabba Desilijic Tiure’s death, which had split up the Hutt territories and caused conflict within the Hutt Space. After the Battle of Jakku which ended the war with the Galactic Empire, Niima built this outpost to begin scavenging the wreckage from the battle, thus taking advantage of the resources available to them here.

Instantly, memories came back to Rey. Of her as a young girl hauling her day’s scraps to Unkar Plutt’s Concession Stand for food. Of long hours spent cleaning her speeder and polishing scraps until her hands were full of blisters. Waiting in line forever just to get another supply of estrogen supplements from Plutt.

Rey blinked away a few tears. _Focus_ , she told herself. _Remember what you just pulled off and how much those people were scared of you. Hold onto that. It’ll keep you strong._

The outpost had changed a bit since Rey was here last, but not much. Tents and semi-permanent buildings circled around the marketplace. The old cantinas were still there. The large structures designed as classic Hutt architecture. So much had stayed exactly the same as when Rey had left here nearly four years ago. She didn’t know if that was supposed to make her feel better or worse.

_Okay. Need a ship. Need a ship…_

She climbed off her speeder. As she had been expecting, it didn’t look like it had much life left in it. Not enough to make it to one of Jakku’s other settlements. Unless she wanted to take half a day to fix the stupid thing, it was Niima Outpost or bust. This had to be the last stop.

Rey kept walking towards the marketplace to get to the junkyards. Even this early in the morning, some folks were setting up shop and getting ready for another long day. Rey looked at the ground, avoiding the locals. They were all staring at the newcomer who strangely seemed to walk like she fit in here. Or at least used to fit in. She wasn’t one of them now. If she didn’t bother them she had nothing to worry about.

Once she reached the border of the outpost, Rey looked out at the junkyard. To her dismay, she didn’t see much of anything good out there. Even when she had walked around the edge and then back through the middle. There was an _Anxarta-_ class freighter, a couple chunks of what used to be maintenance haulers, a skipper, and a starfighter from the Republic years that had been sitting there so long it looked more like part of the landscape. Any ships that weren’t falling apart were clearly on lockdown. Stealing those would be tricky and just complicate matters.

“Shit…this sucks,” Rey muttered between gnashed teeth.

And then just when she started to think maybe she should have accepted Master Snoke’s offer for a ride after all, something caught her eye.

There was a large ship parked a short walking distance away, not far from the office of Constable Zuvio. What got her attention was the fact that it seemed so…out of place. It wasn’t rusted or falling apart like the others. In fact, despite the fact that it was a model from a few decades back, it looked good as new. Shiny and clean and in perfect condition. Not a grain of sand could be on that thing.

She felt like a little child again. The way the sight of such a gorgeous, strange ship caught her eye and made her stare up, in almost a childlike wonder. It was the sort of ship she had dreamed of seeing land here when she was a child. A ship that was not like anything around here and had come to take her home and tell her she had never been abandoned and someone out there had always loved her, and had now come back for her. It was a dumb little fantasy. And as she got older Rey had struggled to hold onto it. Now, seeing the strange shiny ship out here of all places, the fantasy came back to the front of her mind, if only for this moment.

And when that moment was over, Rey blinked and looked around. On the border of the marketplace, she saw a Human woman sitting at a booth shaded under a tent. The woman had to have seen the ship whenever it landed, as well as who would be flying it. Rey jogged up to her.

“Hey, whose ship is that?” Rey asked, pointing to the large shiny one.

The local, an elderly woman who Rey idly thought of as _if I never got off this hellhole I would have ended up like you_ , looked up at her and said slowly and with a lisp,

“That thing? It’s been here a couple days now. Some off-world pilot. Bit of a Chandrilan dialect, especially on the ‘R’s. Stopped by here about an hour ago.”

Someone not from here? That could be her way out. Rey just knew it. She had a strong feeling about it.

“Where is the pilot?”

“Hasn’t come back to his ship yet. Must be around here somewhere,” the old woman replied. Rey waited for a description, but the woman apparently had decided that was all the information she needed to find him. She had resumed organizing the items she had for sale which looked like crappy handmade necklaces, bracelets, and rings.

“Umm… _so_? What does he look like?” Rey pressed, annoyed.

“You’ll know him when you see him.”

 _The fuck is that supposed to mean?_ Rey wanted to snap. But she didn’t need to make a scene with so many people around, so instead of losing her temper she stomped off.

She was about to start looking for a different ship when she saw someone walking away from the blockhouses, back out into the sunlight and headed in the direction of the strange ship. And then, Rey understood what the old woman had meant.

~

Ben started to get the feeling this was a dumb idea.

He had spent about two hours walking around Niima Outpost and so far found…nothing. Blockhouses, selling booths, and a junkyard. Locals passed out after a night of drinking and thugs who glared at him and told him to keep walking if he stood in one spot too long. The only location that had piqued Ben’s interest was a booth on the outskirts of the market, where an elderly Human woman was selling handmade jewelry. Ben couldn’t help but feel bad for her, spending her last years in a place like this. So out of pity, he bought a couple bead necklaces from her. According to her story, she had carved the beads out of Imperial stormtrooper armor, then painted them a pattern of reds and blues and added a couple feathers from a steelpecker as decoration. He gave her extra and told her to keep the change. Considered it a souvenir and a reminder that he was never going to help anyone on the run from the First Order again.

After buying the necklaces, Ben wandered around a bit longer but that turned out to be a waste of time. He stopped by a couple of the blockhouses, hoping to ask about the First Order spotted nearby, but no one was going to talk. They just told him to leave them alone. He knew they despised him already, were glaring at his clean albeit simple clothes, his pale skin that didn’t show signs of wear from a harsh climate, his dark hair left unbleached by the sun. If it weren’t for his blaster, which he kept quite visible, he probably would have been jumped by now. No one here was going to talk to him, except for some other poor soul selling things he didn’t need. There wasn’t anything here for him.

 _Well, can’t say I didn’t try,_ he thought with a sigh. Shoving the bead necklaces in his pants pocket, Ben turned and started heading back while lighting up a fresh cig. He wanted to go back home to his ship and stand under the showerhead until he didn’t feel the sand and dirt anymore. Even just a couple hours outside and he already felt weathered down by the climate here. How anyone could stand living here more than a day, he couldn’t imagine. _Okay, Ben, that’s the spoiled kid from Chandrila talking; knock it off._

He was only several meters away from his ship when he heard someone approaching him from behind. Or maybe he felt it in the Force more than heard it. A tingle or a tap on the back of his neck, but not a physical one.

Ben tensed. He turned around, fully expecting that a local thief had followed him, some nasty-looking fellow with a club for a weapon and wearing layers of dirty rags. And that he was going to have to use his blaster as self-defense yet again.

Which made Ben all the more surprised by who he saw instead.

~

Rey looked up at the stranger—the pilot of the strange shiny ship, according to the local. As soon as she had spotted him walking away from the marketplace, Rey knew he wasn’t from Jakku. Everything about his appearance was a dead giveaway.

And then she realized, oops, she was staring at a stranger and hadn’t said a word yet.

“Uh…hey. Is that your ship?” Rey asked, then wanted to slap herself for how dumb that sounded. He probably thought she was some half-witted street urchin.

The man looked at her, most likely sizing her up. She noted the light skin and dark hair, the shiny boots. And of course, the blaster clipped to his belt.

“Yes, it is,” he answered. “It’s not for sale, if that’s what you meant.”

“Oh, no. I do have a business offer for you, though,” Rey said in her best confident tone of voice. “Care to get out of the sun and chat for a minute?”

She had to play her cards with stealth, not with haste as she preferred doing. If it came down to it, Rey could kill the pilot. But it had been years since she had been able to work with ships and scavenge them for parts, and this was a ship she had never seen before. Even if she had help on board, Rey worried she might not be able to fly it on her own to the Ilum system, aka Starkiller Base. And she really didn’t want to reach out to her master and say, _“Hey, so guess what? I actually need help and turns out I can’t even get myself from Point A to Point B all by myself, but hey, I should be able to become Empress in no time at all!”_ Fat chance that was going to happen.

The pilot glanced around for a bit.

“What’s, uh, what’s the offer exactly?” he asked, stammering a bit. He was hesitating; that was okay.

“I want a ride. Off of Jakku. Today.”

She could see him hesitate, but only for a couple seconds. He motioned for her to walk with him, and Rey smiled slightly. It was a start.

They found a spot shaded by a patchy canvas that didn’t have any traffic at the moment. They used two crates for chairs and sat across from each other. Rey studied the man. He wore a light gray thin shirt, and over that a dark brown leather vest with about half a dozen pockets. His pants were black and fit him comfortably, not too loose or tight. His combat boots looked rather new. His belt had multiple small items fastened on including a comlink, holoprojector, water canteen, and a few belt pouches.

“So, like I said, I want a ride out of here,” Rey began, but he stopped her.

“I’m Ben Solo. What’s your name?” he asked.

Rey wasn’t used to being asked a question like that. People either already knew her name, like Snoke and the cult, or they didn’t care. But he was just being polite. She blinked at him a couple times.

“Oh, um, sorry. Where are my manners?” she laughed awkwardly then cleared her throat. “I’m Rey.”

“Rey who?”

“Just Rey. Don’t do last names where I come from.” She shrugged. She never knew the last name of the parents who abandoned her, and Snoke never gave her a last name either. After all, he had renamed himself many years ago so no one could trace back where he came from, and only went by one name since. So, ‘just Rey’ it was.

“Oh, all right. My first question is how much money can you pay up front?” he asked her.

“How much do you want?” she replied. She needed him to know early on that money wasn’t an object to her. Even if she needed more credits than what General Pryde had ready to transfer, she could ask for them no problem.

The look in his eyes indicated he had not been expecting an answer like that. He looked at her again, then cleared his throat.

“Well, that depends how far you need to go.”

“Ilum system,” she said.

The man—Ben Solo—looked visibly taken aback by the mention of that planet. But why? It hadn’t been exactly a popular joint before it was converted into Starkiller Base. Rey made a mental note of that for later. It was curious.

“Ilum, huh?” he finally asked.

“Yep! That’s what I said.” She dug her thumbnails into her palms. She got this. _I’ve got this._

“That would be a little less than half a day’s journey from here, I believe,” Ben Solo said mostly to himself. He briefly glanced away from their little secluded spot in the marketplace, out to the thugs and scavengers walking about, the drunkards slowly coming to.

“You know where it is?”

“I can find it. Judging by its distance from here, you’re looking at…10,000 credits. 2,000 minimum in advance.”

“So that’s a yes?” Rey smiled a bit, sitting up straighter.

“Hold on, I didn’t agree to this yet. What’s your reason for going there?”

“What? Why does that matter?” Her smile vanished and was replaced by a frown. “I said I want a ride there, so that’s all there is to it.”

“No…Rey,” he said, stumbling over the last of her surname. “Last time my client didn’t specify the ‘why,’ I got double-crossed.”

“Isn’t the ‘why’ obvious?” Rey mimicked the way he said the word ‘why’. “I’m on Jakku, of all places, and I want to get out of here.”

Sith Eternal came from multiple corners of the galaxy, following their leader Snoke no matter their background or culture. As a result, Rey had heard her own fair share of dialects, and that wasn’t even including the few First Order leaders she had come across such as Pryde. Based on what she knew of galactic ways of speaking, this Ben Solo was definitely from the Core Worlds, or had at least spent his early years there. The Chandrilan part of his dialect was not all that prominent, however, and his pronunciation of certain vowels reminded Rey of one Sith Eternal who had once lived on Alderaan. Maybe Ben Solo had grown up around a former Alderaanian?

And as for that last name, ‘Solo’…that had to be coincidence. Then again, how many other famous Solos were out there other than the smuggler himself? Rey had once spent two quarter portions to buy an old poster of Han Solo from an off-world merchant who visited Blowback Town for a week. She put that up in Hellhound Two right above her bed. Totally worth it. This guy couldn’t be related, could he? They did have a similar nose shape, jawline, hair and eye color…

 _Focus, Rey!_ She mentally slapped herself. _Not the fucking time!_

“How did you end up on Jakku without a way off, then?” he asked, folding his hands in front of him and leaning forward until his elbows rested on his knees. He looked right at her, and although Rey knew it was just paranoia, she felt like he was staring right through her little act and seeing all the lies she was feeding him.

It was a little unsettling. Rey only felt that way around her master and certain cult members.

“Um, well…okay, this is embarrassing, but…I’m doing a big study on the ancient history of the Jedi,” she blurted out.

“Oh?” Ben arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah!” She unclenched her fists, trying to appear more nonchalant. “I came here because a Church of the Force gathered here. I stayed there a bit so they could teach me stuff. But my ship broke down when I got here so I’m basically stuck. I want to go to Ilum so I can research the kyber crystals.”

“I see…” Ben sat up straight again. “That’s a pretty interesting subject to study.”

“It’s my thesis project. I’m going to graduate with a Masters in Intergalactic Social Sciences!” She was really starting to enjoy this lie a little too much.

At that, Ben Solo sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Rey waited for him to say they were just as good as away from Jakku, when he spoke up again.

“I’m sorry. You’ll have to find someone else.”

“What?! But you said—”

“I just got out of a mess and I have to stay here until it’s safe to leave. Besides, how do I know you’re not lying?”

“Woah, trust issues much! You don’t believe me, fine. I can transfer the advance right now.”

“That’s not good enough.” He stood up. He was already preparing to leave. “Sorry, Rey, I really am. Hope you find a way out of here.”

Rey felt a desperation surge within her. Like this was her only chance to leave Jakku. If she didn’t convince this guy to take her, she’d be trapped here and have to beg Snoke for help, the very idea of which was so humiliating it made her ill. She had to prove to Snoke she could do this. And thus, she had to prove to Ben Solo she was worth the risk.

“Please!” she cried out. “I come from a rich family. I can pay you a whole lot more.”

That slowed his walking but did not stop it. He glanced over his shoulder at her.

“How much more?”

“Four times your regular price, easy. Even times six!” She wrung her hands together, now doing it on purpose.

“I…I don’t know. I really don’t think this is a good idea…” He still had his back to her, but she could see his will weakening.

She almost had him. Now she just needed a final kicker to convince him. Rey clenched her fists harder and willed some of her bottled-up emotions from the past few days on Jakku to resurface, remembering the years of loneliness and lost hope. That was more than enough to get the tears flowing.

“P-please…I need to finish this thesis in time or I won’t be able to graduate and my parents will _kill_ me if that happens!” she said between sobs that were mostly fake. “And I hate it here so much and I don’t know how else I’m gonna get out of here! Please, Mister Solo. You’ve got to help me, _please_!” Then, for extra dramatic flair, she buried her face in her hands and let out a loud sob.

When she looked up, Rey saw exactly what she was looking for. That waver in his eyes. He was feeling sorry for this poor stupid little college girl. He had a heart for people like her. And now that she had poured her heart out to him he couldn’t turn away someone in need.

_Good. I hit the jackpot. He’s weak in all the right ways._

Ben Solo sighed and turned to face her again, hands on his hips.

“All right, all right…I’ll get you out of here.”

Rey wiped her face and smiled bright.

“Aww, really? You mean it! Thank you, thank you! Here, I’ll have my account send you twenty grand now as a deposit. Just to show you I’m not messing with you.”

Before he could protest, she pulled out her com and handed it to him. Ben put in his account number, then just like that he saw the credits transferred. He stared at it, almost in disbelief.

“See? I’m legit!” Her smile grew.

“I’m going to need some form of identification before we takeoff. But give me about half an hour to get the ship ready, okay?”

“Alrighty.” She stood straight up a bit too fast and jutted her hand out to him, only realizing now how much taller he was than her. He took it and shook her hand.

“All right,” he echoed. “Then, let’s get going.”

“Be right with ya. Just gotta grab my knapsack.”

He nodded and began walking back to his big, shiny ship. The moment he was out of earshot, Rey pulled out her com and contacted General Pryde again.

_“Yes, Lady Rey? I see you’ve withdrawn 20,000 credits from the deposit. Do you require more?”_

“Actually, I was wondering how fast your Intelligence wing or whoever the hell does that—can make me a fake ID? Maybe, say, thirty minutes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, in case it wasn't clear enough, Rey fapped to her poster of Han Solo. She's totes a Han fangirl.


	10. Chapter 10

_Resistance headquarters, D’Qar – Month 4, Day 13, 34 ABY_

By the time Poe made it inside the base, the evacuation was underway. The last of the Resistance presence on D’Qar—which amounted to maintenance workers, officers, droids, and security personnel—were hurrying to the lower level of the hangar. It had quickly become chaos. Overhead, they could hear the AT-AT’s already beginning their bombardment of the outer defenses.

Fortunately, the Resistance had prepared for such a situation. Most of the base was underground to begin with, and from outside only the landing area and antenna arrays could be seen. Beneath the base’s maintenance level, there was an entrance to an underground tunnel, which went on for three miles. The tunnel ended at a secluded drop-off point in the jungle that could also get a distress signal up to several parsecs away. Turns out, it was about to come in handy. The order to evacuate had come straight from High Command. Right now, the priority was saving as many lives as possible.

Shortly after Poe got inside, the doors leading to the landing area were sealed off. They would hold against blasters and thermal detonators, for a while. But AT-AT’s wouldn’t need a much time to cause fatal damage. Poe estimated he had about twelve minutes to get the map and escape in one piece. Not much time. But he could move fast. He darted between workers and droids, all rushing to grab vital equipment and move out. Every several seconds or so there was another explosion from outside, as the First Order was blowing their ships to pieces. For all they knew, they had the last of the D’Qar Resistance trapped. Idly, Poe considered that their confidence could be used against them for a little while.

As he made his way to the security room in the back, Poe spotted one of the officers, Huertin Jones, who was currently preoccupied with getting everyone to the evacuation tunnel. He was opening every door to closets, cabins, and storage rooms to make sure everyone was out. Poe grabbed him by the shoulder and the Human male turned to face him.

“Sir, what about Blue Squadron? Are they coming with us?” Poe asked.

“I’m afraid not, Commander. They’re holding off the AT-AT’s to give us more time.” Only the waver in Huertin’s eyes gave away his fear. Everything else in the captain’s composure suggested he was still holding it together.

“What does that matter if this base is going to blow up anyway?” Poe snapped. He was out of line, he knew. But this wasn’t right. Those pilots deserved a chance.

“They’ve been given the order to pull back as soon as we signal that we’re in the tunnel. They’ll retreat, hide it out, then pick us up at the drop-off point later,” Huertin explained.

“Sure, if any of them are left by then,” he muttered. He wanted to explode with frustration but that wouldn’t get them anywhere right now. Instead, he walked away from everyone and grabbed his com to contact Snap. “Snap, do you come in? Snap, can you hear me?”

Poe’s heart pounded as he waited. Five, then ten, then fifteen seconds. Was he too late? Had Snap been shot down too?

Finally, a response. Poe took a deep breath.

_“Shouldn’t you be retrieving a map or something?”_

“Working on it. Listen, as soon as they give you the signal, you need to pull out of there. You understand me?”

_“I always pull out, you little bastard.”_

Poe clenched his jaw, willing himself not to laugh.

“I’m serious, Temmin. Now’s not the time to be a big hero and let everybody else survive. Don’t…don’t be a hero.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. He only used Snap’s real name when he needed to get his point across. “Come back to us, you hear me?”

 _“I will. I promise.”_ Poe heard a distant explosion through the comm; another pilot shot down, by the sound of it.

“Then I’ll see you soon,” Poe said before disconnecting. Snap was alive and had every intent to survive the night. That was all Poe needed to hear. With renewed strength, he ran down to the lower level. On either side of him, the maintenance crew and worker droids were hurrying a well. A couple of them stumbled as they carried supplies, and Poe couldn’t help but stop to help them up.

Snap was his friend and fellow pilot, but for some time now both men had known there was something more between them. Something that went deeper than the companionship shared between fellow Resistance troopers, something special and intimate just for the two of them. Poe hadn’t explicitly told Snap how he felt about him yet, but in his defense, both pilots had always been open about their sexuality around others, including each other. Even if Poe had never told Snap word for word that he was gay, the chances Snap had seen the men Poe flirted with and slept with while they were on leave said quite enough. And Snap returned the silent gestures to Poe, in his own small way. They said it to each other every time Snap saved a bit of Jaquira fruit for him, a rare treat to come by these days. They said it every time Poe pulled off Snap’s boots while he slept because he had forgotten to take them off yet again. They said it with the lingering gazes, the hand on the other’s shoulder or arm that stayed longer than with anyone else, the look in each other’s eyes when they saw each other again after a hard battle. All those little things were how they told each other how they felt. Poe, to some extent, knew he was in love. But being in love versus loving someone weren’t exactly the same thing. He wasn’t there yet, and that was okay.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a loud sound that made the entire base tremble, even this far underground. The door had taken another hit. In seconds, the First Order could blow a hole big enough for the stormtroopers to climb through. He was running out of time.

Poe ran faster down the hall. He rushed to the blast door and put in the security code to unlock it. Once inside, he looked around. The room was small, and only had a handful of computers and a couple furniture pieces. The walls were bare stone and it was visible cooler in here than closer to the landing area. Poe hurried to the nearest computer and loaded it up. Sure enough, once he entered in the security credentials Leia gave to him, he found the coordinates to the Jedi Temple’s location. The map seemed to lead into the Unknown Regions, close to Wild Space. He looked at it for a moment, absently mulling over how every Resistance trooper out there died today to protect this information.

One question, however, bothered Poe deep down…why? Why wasn’t Luke Skywalker leaving the Temple and coming to help them out? Why did they have to be the ones to go to the Jedi for help? Didn’t the Jedi care that the galaxy was in turmoil?

But these were questions Poe knew he wouldn’t get, at least for now. And he wasn’t in the right to demand answers from General Organa, either. He just had to focus on what was under his control. Such as getting the Temple’s location safely off of D’Qar.

As if right on cue, another explosion sounded. This time, it was accompanied by the sound of metal crashing and grinding.

Poe froze in alarm. The AT-AT’s must have broken through the door.

He was running out of time. But his hands were steady and he was able to control his breathing. He downloaded the map on a datafile which only took a couple seconds, then secured the datafile in one of his belt pouches. While he did he made sure to include the coordinates Leia sent him; he wasn’t sure where this safe facility was located, but wherever it was the map would be safe there. Behind him, Poe heard the door open. But he did not have to turn around to know who was there. The high-pitched beeping sound gave away.

“Beebee-Eight!” Poe turned to face his droid. He’d been worried of losing track of BB-8 during the evacuation. “What are you doing here, buddy? You should be escaping with the others.”

[I came to help you!]the droid whirred.

“Then come on, let’s get the hell outta here.” Poe grabbed his blaster. “Hang tight, bud. First Order is right above us.”

BB-8 just made a chirpy response how they had been through worse and he wasn’t afraid. Poe had to admire the droid’s enthusiasm. They evened out each other’s mannerisms, that was for sure. Together, the pair bolted for the entrance to the maintenance level which was a couple hundred yards away. Poe ran like he hadn’t in a long time. He was scared. Not of death, but of the map falling into the First Order’s hands. Of all this death and sacrifice amounting to nothing. They reached the entrance, still open for the stragglers. Poe looked back one last time for anyone left behind before closing the door.

Up ahead, the last of the Resistance hurried through the level. Broken down ships, speeders, and equipment littered the ground. The further they went in, the lower the ceiling dipped down and the more the walls closed in, and the colder the air was. Perfect embodiment of what claustrophobia must feel like. Poe caught up with his comrades. Only a few dozen of them were left, including Huertin Jones who had taken on the role of leadership for the time being.

“We’re almost there!” one of the maintenance workers called out to them. “The tunnel starts at this door.”

“How much time do we have?” one young woman asked who wore tan mechanic coveralls and a belt equipped with a bunch of tools.

Huertin answered her question with a grim expression.

“If we can make it through the tunnels before they find us. If they do, the blast doors won’t hold them off for long.” He arrived at the door to the tunnel and began putting in the security code to open it. The door was comprised of two heavy seals, each four inches thick. They could withstand blasters and most thermal detonators. But Poe knew the captain was right. He didn’t like where this was going and he didn’t feel confident in them making it off of D’Qar in time.

Poe heard another explosion—much more distant now, what with how deep underground they were—but it alerted him. He skidded to a stop. BB-8 crashed into the back of his legs by accident, nearly knocking him off-balance.

“Wait! Wait…” Now that he had stopped, Poe realized how hard he was breathing. Sweat was getting in his eyes. The others stopped as soon as he spoke up.

“What’s wrong, Commander?” one asked.

“You hear that?” Poe held out his hands then gestured to the ceiling. “Blaster fire. They’re inside the base. They’ll find us soon.”

A few whispers of various vulgarity were exchanged. The droids whirred sounds of alarm. Two soldiers stepped forward, who Poe quickly realized were the last of the base’s military presence other than himself and the pilots outside. They looked weary, ready to collapse at any moment. One had a minor but bloody head wound.

“We’ll help hold them off. The rest of you get to the tunnel.”

Poe looked at the two troopers as they rushed to the blast door. The rest of the team had weapons, sure, but they were not trained to handle them as well and some of them had yet to pull a single trigger. And he knew what was at stake, and that High Command would look on this day as a statement to the First Order that they would stay alive and persist, no matter how much the odds were against them. And the people around him were a symbol of a new hope and a new day. Two soldiers might not be enough to save the others. But a third would give them just another sliver of a chance. And he knew what he had to do.

“Beebee-Eight. C’mere, bud.” He knelt down to meet his droid at eye level. “I have a mission for you. This is straight from General Organa, okay?”

[What are you talking about?!]

Poe removed the datafile. BB-8 extended his interface arm to take it, with slight hesitation.

“You get this map as far away from the First Order as you can. General Organa will tell you where it’ll be safe.”

[No! I know what you’re going to do and—]

“You’ll be safer with it than me. I need to help hold them off so you guys have a chance.” Poe felt a lump in his throat, thinking of the conversation he had had earlier with Snap. And realizing that he was never going to see his droid or his lover or Leia ever again.

[If you can, promise you’ll try and escape?] BB-8 beeped softly.

“Of course!” Poe didn’t see how that would happen considering the situation, but he could keep that promise on a technicality. “It’ll be okay, little guy.”

[But humans only say that when it’s _not_ going to be okay…] BB-8 hung his head. But even so, he safely inserted the file into his data slot.

Poe got up and looked to the nearest maintenance worker, who looked vaguely familiar. She watched Poe with a mixture of sadness and apprehension.

“Hey, what’s your name again?” Poe asked her.

“Rose Tico,” she said softly.

He blinked in recognition. Of course! How could he have forgotten?

“Oh, right. You’re Paige’s sister,” he said with a slight smile. “Sorry. Rose, can you do me a big favor?”

“Anything, Commander Dameron!” She stood at attention.

“Make sure my droid gets to Resistance High Command safely. Can you do that?”

“I…I just work behind pipes all day, Commander. I don’t think I’m—”

“Can you shoot a blaster?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Then look after him. Please, Rose.” Poe couldn’t stick around to wait for another answer. He gave BB-8 a small final salute before he left to join the two troops. They found cover together behind half a speeder and loaded their weapons, pooling together all the grenades they were carrying.

Meanwhile, Huertin opened the door and led them through one at a time into the darkness. BB-8 stuck close to the girl named Rose Tico, still beeping sadly at having to say goodbye to Poe. The smell of dirt drifted in from the tunnel, which Poe could now see had been crudely constructed and had metal support beams on top keeping it from collapsing in. They would need glowrods to see ahead of them.

He looked away. The blaster fire was still distant, but Poe’s trained hearing could tell they were getting closer. Huertin was the last to leave, and shut the door behind them.

Poe sighed with relief. They were safe. He just had to make sure of that. He glanced at the two troopers and gave them a small smile.

“Ready for one last fight?” he asked them.

~

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Rey didn’t even try to hold back her look of awe at the ship’s interior.

The _Raider I-_ class corvette—which Ben Solo had apparently named the _Odysseus_ —was big. And it looked even bigger from the inside. The main hold was the first room passengers saw when they entered the ship. It was a wide open area that seemed to have everything one would need on a trip. There were multiple sofas and chairs with end tables, a cozy dining area in the corner, a large holovision on the wall, soft lighting, and a large plush rug that Rey couldn’t wait to stand on without shoes. There were even some bowls of fruit and sculptures. She could also see where the hallways extended out to the cabins and other commodities of the ship, and a staircase that led to the upper level with a large viewport. Whoever Ben Solo was, he had put a lot of money and a lot of work into making this a beautiful place. A home away from home.

“Woah! You travel in style!” she said, unaware of how big her eyes had gotten.

“I have to,” the pilot with the part-Chandrilan-part-Alderaanian dialect answered. “Sometimes my passengers are upper class and have standards they don’t want to compromise. Makes more work for me, but when they pay up it’s worth it.”

“Uh-huh…” She had only half-listened to him. As Rey followed the pilot through the ship’s main hold, her eyes drifted around, taking in the view. She ran her hand along the back of one of the sofas. The firm dark leather felt cool on her fingertips. In the back of her head, Rey knew she needed to really focus right now on the important part: getting to Ilum and figuring out what would happen to Ben Solo when they got there.

But right now, any intent of ‘focus’ was out the airlock and good as gone. Rey had never seen a place like this in her entire life. Jakku, of course, saw not even a hint of these sorts of luxuries. On Exegol, Snoke and the Sith Eternal had their own standards of living but that was not something Rey had been meant to see, much less participate in.

She had roughly a ten-hour trip to Ilum. And when she thought about it, she had all the freedom to do whatever she wanted during that window.

“It’s all so shiny.” She ran up to a small device fastened to the wall right below the holovision. “What’s this thing do?”

“That’s for playing video games. You don’t need to touch it to…oh, you touched it.”

Rey watched as the holovision lit up with a series of blue and white lights. There was a floating humanoid figure on the front and words on Aurebesh on either side stating things like ‘height,’ ‘weight,’ ‘head shape,’ and so on. Rey had seen some holovisions before but only small ones on First Order ships and those only showed boring information, nothing this visually appealing. And of course she had never played a video game in her entire life.

“Can I play? I don’t know how to play. Can you teach me how to play? Please, please, please!”

“Uh, probably. I do need to man the ship.” He watched her, looking weirded out by her behavior, but Rey didn’t care. She was too excited already. “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but didn’t you say your family is rich?”

“Oh, yeah. That doesn’t mean I was spoiled. They’re the ‘we’re gonna deprive you of all this nice stuff we can afford so you don’t end up snobby like us’ kind of parents.” That part of her story, at least, was more or less the truth.

“Oh, I see. I can sort of relate to that,” said Ben.

“What, uh…what’s the most you’ve made? Money, I mean. Being a pilot.”

“Oh, um…” Ben scratched the back of his neck, “probably when a family from Eriadu booked my ship for their wedding. They spent a whole week here. Caterers and a band and everything. It was awful. But I made a killing.” He gave her a small, awkward smile.

Rey had no idea what to do with so she just looked away. She must have appeared helpless and confused because he added,

“Maybe, um, you would like to refresh yourself? There are showers in every cabin—”

“Are you saying I need a shower?” she asked, heat rushing to her face at the implication.

“What? N-No, I didn’t mean it that way!” He took a step back. “I just meant—”

“Whatever.” Rey sneered. “It’s cool if I go exploring for a bit, right?”

“Of course. Any rooms where passengers aren’t allowed will be inaccessible without the security code.”

“Right, right, got it. I’d like to leave Jakku now if that’s okay with you.”

He left without a word. Rey watched him go, feeling that if that conversation had been a duel, she was now one point ahead. Once the door shut behind him, she plopped down on the nearest couch and pulled off her shoes. Sure enough, once her bare feet touched the rug, it felt as soft as cumulus clouds looked. She stretched her arms over her head, feeling like she could sink in the couch. As her own joke to herself she made a reminder to ask Ben where he got this furniture so she’d know how to decorate her throne room when she became Empress of the galaxy. Rey closed her eyes as she took in the softness of the furniture beneath her and the soothing hum of the ship.

 _Girl could get used to this,_ she thought, and used the Force to pull a piece of fruit to her from the bowl.

She was so comfortable and relaxed she didn’t even consider that she had just used the Force so blatantly where someone could have seen her.

~

_Wow, good going, Ben. Girl is on your ship and first thing you do is tell her she needs a shower. Truly amazing. Terrific job. You goddamn idiot._

Ben collapsed in his favorite chair in the cockpit and groaned. After a few moments spent ruminating his stupid mistake, he started up the ship and began plotting their course to the Ilum system. It wasn’t the course of the trip that bothered him, as it would just be through the Unknown Regions. What bothered him were the old memories Ilum stirred.

When Ben was eleven years old, his uncle took him to this very planet to retrieve a kyber crystal. It was a tradition going back millennia, in which Padawans would arrive at the ancient Jedi Temple located on the planet and go through a various series of trials in order to locate their crystal and begin construction of their first lightsaber. Of course, during the days of the Empire, the Temple was destroyed and the Empire began stripping Ilum of its mineral resources, including the planets geothermal energy. Of course, the end of the war also ended Imperial activity on the planet.

By the time Luke and Ben made the age-old tradition of journeying there together, Ilum was a very different place than the once described in the old Jedi texts. The Empire had left behind a massive trench around the planet’s equator, which Luke and Ben had been tempted to explore but backed out on when they realized how many miles deep it went. Life forms still resided on Ilum, but they were sparse and limited. Eventually, they had found the ruins of the old Temple and entered the Crystal Cave, where Ben found his kyber crystal. Ben hadn’t been there since, and up until half an hour ago he had had no plans to.

Now that he had to go back, all he could think about were his days training under his uncle. And all the hurt buried deep down that he tried not to think about.

He finished plotting their course and began preparing _Odysseus_ for the jump to hyperspace. He stirred when Delta approached him from behind.

“Our new passenger is an interesting case.”

“What do you mean?” Ben didn’t disagree, but he wanted to hear Delta’s explanation.

“She said she came from a rich family, but her reaction to the ship’s interior indicated otherwise. I also do not see any physical evidence supporting her story of being a college student, other than the ID she provided.”

“And those can be faked if you’re smart enough.” Ben sighed. “What’s your point?”

“My point is why help the girl get to Ilum when you just nearly avoided death by being double-crossed just two days ago? I would have thought the incident with our fellow from Ord Mantell would have taught you a lesson.”

“Yeah, me too,” Ben said absently. Delta had a point; the girl Rey’s story did not seem to add up and she was hiding something from him.

But…something about the way she broke down and begged for help…Ben knew that wasn’t fake. He sensed it. She was a girl in desperate need, no matter how much she changed her story. Maybe Delta was right and he should have learned not to say ‘yes’ at any mention of a sob story. And maybe he was making the same mistake all over again.

Or…maybe she was just a scared, lost kid and he was her only hope.

“I don’t know. She was upset and needed help…” He looked down at his hands in his lap. “I couldn’t just leave her on Jakku.”

“I would advise caution around the girl in case she has something up her sleeve, if you’ll pardon the expression.”

“Can you go check on her?” he asked. “Make sure she didn’t get lost and isn’t getting into trouble or anything.”

“Certainly, sir,” Delta said with a tad too much enthusiasm for Ben’s liking, and left the cockpit.

Ben watched the droid go. Once they were in hyperspace, he got up and followed his droid out of the cockpit. Rey deserved an apology. But first he had a couple things on his own to take care of. He got up and grabbed his medkit to head to his personal fresher when Delta stopped him.

“Sir, I do believe there is something you need to know about the girl.”

“Go on?” He frowned.

“She knows the Force, sir.”

“Oh…” He wasn’t expecting that. “How…how do you know?”

“I spotted her using levitation to pull a fruit towards herself so she did not have to get up off the couch.”

“Well, that’s…that’s no big deal, is it?” Ben said more to himself than to Delta. So what if this girl wanted a ride to Ilum and happened to know the Force? That wasn’t any cause for alarm, right? He had nothing to worry about. “I don’t see any cause for concern.”

“I will keep an eye on her all the same. This is becoming a tad suspicious to me. A girl from Jakku on her way to Ilum who knows the Force. Do I have to spell it out or do you still retain some level of intelligence?”

“No need to be a dick about it,” Ben snapped. “Fine, I’ll talk to her in a minute.” He grabbed his medkit and left the cockpit, not wanting Delta to be right about her, but starting to wonder if he had made another mistake.  
  


~

_The Jedi Temple -_ _Month 9, Day 25, 24 ABY_

Ben Solo, by some position of the stars or the moons aligning perfectly, had gotten the signal through to his uncle.

His _other_ uncle, the non-biological one. Not the one currently chasing him down as he ran down the cliffside overlooking the beach. It was the middle of the night, and the full moon made every rock and blade of grass glow eerily. Ben kept running, his long loose clothing whipping in the air, as he held fast to the tracking beacon.

“Ben!” he heard his uncle shout behind him—again, the biological one. “Ben, stop!”

“No!” He ran faster. Ben could have used the Force to help guide him along, to keep him from stumbling or letting gravity take over as he ran down the cliffside as it became narrower and rockier. But he didn’t want to do that anymore. He didn’t want to use the Force like a crutch. So, when his shoe caught on a rock and he fell down face first on the hard ground, he really shouldn’t have been surprised. “Ow…” Instantly he felt hot, stinging pain in his palms, knees, and chin. The impact also meant he had bitten his tongue and he now tasted a bit of blood in his mouth.

“Ben!” Luke gained enough ground to catch up to him. “Are you all right, kiddo?” He put his hand on the young man’s back.

“I’m fine!” he snapped, insulted that Luke was trying to help him up. He was goddamn nineteen years old, and Luke still treated him like he was a child. Ben got to his feet and wiped his palms on his pants, smearing dirt and blood.

Luke’s eyes were glassy as he looked at him. His Jedi robe was not fastened on by his belt indicating he had thrown it on last minute. Ben had managed to leave his hut undetected and make his way to the outskirts of the training field. Even for the adult students, leaving was strictly forbidden. He had just reached the last few huts where fellow Jedi students were sleeping when Luke had spotted him and began his pursuit. So Ben had run. He ran in the hopes that the ship following his tracking beacon would pick him up before Luke caught up to him, and so they wouldn’t be having the exact conversation that was happening right now.

“Why are you doing this? I thought we had this all settled between us.” Luke looked at his nephew like he was heartbroken.

“You thought it was, but it wasn’t.”

“But you said—”

“I lied. Okay?!” Ben glared him down. “I lied so you’d get off my back and let me be.”

“Then we need to talk. If I’m going to help you, I need to know what’s going on.”

“I don’t want your help anymore. Clearly whatever you’ve been trying to do is not working.” He felt his banged-up chin as he took several steps back from his master. His uncle. The uncle who had invested over a decade in teaching Ben everything he knew about the Force. The teacher who watched his student grow from a pre-transition, dysphoric boy into a mid-transition, much less dysphoric young man. “Nothing you can do is stopping the visions.”

“Ben, we talked about this. Those visions are just an image of what you’re afraid of. They don’t mean anything. It’s not a—”

“You’re a _liar_!” Ben snapped. He had promised himself he would hold it together tonight, that on his last night at the Temple he would take the high road. And yet again he had failed himself. He took more steps back as the rocky ground slowly turned to beach. The sand grinded against his boots, sparkling in the moonlight. “I did some reading of those texts. You know, the ones you keep locked away that you don’t want us reading?”

That seemed to get through to him. Luke’s gaze flickered. He hadn’t seen this coming. His mouth began to open to make a protest, but Ben saw it coming and cut him off.

“And I saw some of your writings too,” Ben continued. “Not just about the visions you had, but Jedi from many years ago with the same thing. And they _could_ predict the future. Sometimes in poetic ways, but they were _not_ just another bad dream. They meant something!”

“Ben…your visions are not what you think. The future is never set in stone; you know this. It’s always in motion, always subject to change from the present. Just because you have a vision of your older self doesn’t mean it’s fated to happen.”

Ben wanted to scream in frustration. They had had this conversation so many times over the past several years when his visions began. This was why he had lied and told his uncle everything was fine and they were on good terms. It was the only way for Luke to leave him alone long enough.

At first, the visions had been relatively simple. A dark shadow would chase him and he would wake up in a cold sweat, sensing the Dark Side around him. Ben didn’t tell Luke at first. He thought it was just dumb teenage stuff combined with being on the testosterone hormone injections.

But then they became more specific. The shadow would say the name his parents gave him before he changed it to ‘Ben.’ He would make out more details of the shadow’s mask and cape and weapon. Eventually he realized that Darth Vader’s spirit was haunting him, and it was more than just a nightmare. The spirit knew things about him that there was no way Vader could know. Secrets Ben kept from everyone, even his parents.

And then last week’s vision was the one that made Ben finally decide he’d had enough.

That time, Vader hadn’t chased him down. Vader had been standing beside Ben, only it wasn’t _really_ Ben. This version of him was several years older, illuminated by the color red, and wearing an equally terrifying mask.

After that, Ben knew what he had to do.

“But wouldn’t you agree that some things are very difficult if not impossible to prevent?” Ben countered to his uncle. “The future is in motion, but that doesn’t mean you can stop stars from collapsing. And some things can easily be predicted just because of logic. Things that can’t be stopped unless you interfere on purpose. If a house is infested with termites, it’s going to collapse. If a person drinks fatal poison, they’re going to die. Sometimes the future can’t be changed because of what’s already happened in the past. Sometimes the past _sets_ the future in stone. It’s simple rules of cause-and-effect.”

Luke just shook his head, staring wide-eyed at his student. As he tried to come up with a counter-argument, Ben went on.

“That’s what the old texts explained. How the Force can show you visions of things that may come to pass _and_ things that are going to pass inevitably…unless there is some sort of massive interference. Unless you fight to change it, it _will_ happen. The Force can send warnings that way. And now I see why you didn’t want me reading those.” He took a deep breath as he was about to say what had been weighing heavily on his heart for far too long now. “If I stay here and keep training…my visions will come to pass,” Ben stated.

“We can fight this! Even if there is a slight possibil—”

“If there’s even a slight possibility then I can’t risk it! None of it’s worth the risk!” Ben began shaking. The vision was still so clear in his head. He could see that mask on his face, concealing eyes with no light in them, seeing himself closed off and sealed away in his own darkness. “You didn’t see what I saw. What I had become. I was a…a new Vader.”

Luke looked like he had been kicked in the stomach. Ben kept backing away until he was closer to the water. He held tight onto the tracking beacon, which all this time had been blinking steadily, a signal for the ship coming for him. In the distance, he could hear that very ship approaching through the skies. He had that moment to be grateful for the non-biological family he had. It had been just one conversation on Life Day; Luke and Ben had taken leave from training and returned to Chandrila for a family holiday reunion. Lando had told Ben back then that if he ever needed a ride, just send a call to Bespin and light up the tracking beacon. Of course, back then Ben never thought he would need to act on Lando’s offer. He had changed a lot.

“I have to go. I’m going to close myself off from the Force and stop this before it happens,” he stated firmly.

“Ben, this isn’t—”

“I’ve made up my mind. I’m done with you. With all the stuff you hide from me and the lies you tell and all your rules. You didn’t even tell me who my grandfather was. I had to find that out thanks to goddamn Senator Casterfo!” he spat, having saved his best ammo for last.

As one last kick to the old man, Ben unclipped his lightsaber from his belt. He held it for just a moment before turning around and throwing it out towards the beach. It didn’t reach the water, but it got close, buried in the sand.

“No!” Luke cried.

“I said I’m done!” Ben turned his back on him and kept walking. When the ship landed, he glanced back to see if Luke would make one last attempt to stop him, or perhaps see if he could talk Lando into leaving without Ben. But, it seemed Luke had either given up or had decided that Ben was old enough to make this decision on his own. Whichever it was, Ben didn’t care anymore. He had darkness in his bloodline, and every day spent here risked falling to that darkness. Better to not know the Force than to become…whatever he had become in his vision.

With only the clothes on his back, Ben walked up the ramp and sat in the cockpit beside Lando. The war veteran looked over the younger man briefly, but said nothing. When the ship lifted off, Ben didn’t even look back. He had already said goodbye to the students he had had good relationships with, but they would forget him before long. He couldn’t even find it in him to care if he saw Luke again.

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and he looked at Lando. The older man had a long flowing velvet purple cape on today, and had dyed his graying hairs black again. Ben hadn’t spent enough time with Lando to really figure out what their relationship was like.

“Hey. You okay, son?” he asked Ben.

And that was all it took for all the emotions of what he had just walked away from, what he threw away, to come hitting him hard like the wind knocked out of him. A lump formed in his throat and his eyes clouded with tears.

Ben had hoped this moment would feel liberating, like a fresh start. And it would, eventually. But right now, he just felt empty and broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Poe/Temmin is a thing in this fic. I do love Stormpilot but it doesn't fit the type of story I want to tell with Finn and Poe's narrative arcs (that will come more into play later on). But this is a very underrated, small pairing that I just ADORE.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -brief sexual abuse in a flashback (a girl is forced to undress in front of someone)  
> -transphobic rhetoric

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Against her better judgement, Rey ended up taking that hot shower anyway. She wandered into one of the cabins and explored for a while. It didn’t take her long to discover that there were sets of spare clothes set aside in storage, and after some searching she found a white tank top, a sweater, and a pair of leggings that were close enough to her size, and some undergarments. They must have been left behind by a previous passenger, or perhaps were there for passengers who needed a spare change.

She stood under the hot water for a long time. Stayed there until Jakku was completely washed off. Master Snoke would never let her take a shower this long—water supply on Exegol was only how much the laborers enslaved by the Sith Eternal could extract and deliver there—so things like showers were never seen as a luxury or self-soothing activity. But here, Rey could spoil herself all she wanted, and she had never been trained to use self-control to stop herself when there were no limitations. Thus, even long after her fingers had pruned and she was more than clean enough, Rey still took her time enjoying her shower.

Not to mention, the refresher had all the commodities for hygiene and then some. Rbollean petal-oil, sapflower-scented soap, and plom boom lotion, to name a few. She indulged in as many of them as she could find, using the lotion on her skin after the shower to help with the dryness and so she could smell nice. By the time she was done, Rey was in heaven.

After her shower, she dressed in her clean clothes and sent her other ones to be washed. Barefoot and with her wet hair tied back in three tight buns, she resumed wandering around the ship. Admiring the selta lamps fixed to the white walls that lit up as she approached, them dimmed once she had walked several feet past them. The flex carpet in the main rooms that warmed her feet as she stepped on it. In another wing of the main deck, Rey saw a piece of wall that had been cut out and an empty glass tank was installed. Nothing was inside it. She figured it must be an aquarium or terrarium of some sort he had not finished making. Everything about the ship made her feel so safe and welcome, which was almost definitely the intent of its owner. Her body had never felt this clean, this good, or this relaxed.

In the back of her mind, Rey knew why that was. A Sith apprentice couldn’t be distracted by physical pleasures. Rather, a true Sith had to learn how to use pain, suffering, and discomfort to make one’s self stronger. Snoke had deprived her of those things with her best self in mind. But that didn’t mean this nice rare treat of a trip would hurt anything.

Eventually, she found herself in the upper deck close to the cockpit. Up here it wasn’t as clean or fancy, and reflected more of what the ship had originally looked like before. The lights were dim, but didn’t hide the bits of rust on the walls or the unorganized piles in the corners. The furniture’s models and state reflected how inexpensive they were and how long they had been used. Up here didn’t make the _Odysseus_ feel like a passenger ship, but more like a backwater smuggler’s den. In other words, it suited more the type of setting Rey was used to.

The door to one of the upper cabins, which she assumed were meant for the crew, was half open. Curious, Rey approached it from around the bend, trying to see inside.

She still hadn’t figured out what she would do with the pilot when he would find out Ilum had been converted to Starkiller Base. But already, based on how well he kept up this ship, Rey could tell he was very intelligent and resourceful. Not the type of person to be easily manipulated. The more she knew about him before they reached Ilum, the better.

Rey peeked in the door and saw the pilot sitting on the edge of his bed. His jacket was off and he had his shirt lifted up past his stomach. As Rey watched, he flicked at a small needle injection and inserted it in his side. So far he hadn’t noticed her standing there.

She frowned, frozen in place as she watched.

 _What’s he doing?_ Was it some sort of medicine? Truth was, the moment she saw him do the injection, she was reminded of her own she did every week. Rey already felt her pulse quickening as she wondered if she had just seen…what she thought she saw.

When he removed the needle, he put a small bacta patch over the area and rubbed at the puncture area a bit. Rey picked that moment to knock on the wall and walk in.

“Hey, what were you doing?” she asked.

He looked up, startled, but not as much as Rey had expected him to be. Quickly, he pulled down his shirt.

“What? You were watching?”

“Yeah, sorry, got bored,” she lied. “What was that needle for?”

“It was, um…” He scratched the back of his neck.

“You got a medical condition?” Rey pressed. She felt something stirring inside her. It was such a strange, new feeling. But it gave her a whole new energy.

_Is he…like me? Someone who felt like they were the wrong gender all those years and found a way to be happy with how they look? Someone who knows what it’s like to be called a freak and a monster just for dressing and looking the way that makes you feel happiest? Is he…_

“Um, sure, you could call it that.”

“What condition?” Rey knew she was being more than rude. If someone grilled her with these same questions she would stab them. But…for some reason she couldn’t help it.

As for the pilot, he looked more and more uncomfortable. And Rey realized that unless he found out why she was so interested in the stupid needle, he wasn’t going to give her anything. It didn’t even cross her mind that maybe she got this all wrong and he wouldn’t take her outing herself as transgender well. She didn’t even have time to think about how people came from all walks of life across the galaxy, and some of those walks thought of trans people as mentally ill, confused, degenerate, or perverted. She just needed to _know_.

“The reason I’m asking is because…I do injections too, every week. I…mine are…estrogen injections,” she stammered, feeling heat rush to her face.

So this is what it was like to ‘come out’ to a person. To paint a big, flashing sign on her face, unsure if it was in the shape of a target.

“Oh…oh!” The pilot’s eyes lit up with recognition. “Me too! I mean, well, mine are different. I have testosterone injections. I’ve been doing them, oh gods…since I was fourteen. That long already.”

“I’ve been doing mine a while too,” Rey said. Her head was spinning. She couldn’t believe what he was saying, what she was hearing.

“Yeah, um…sorry. I just don’t meet folks like me every day.” He shot her a crooked smile. It was soft and genuine, and it was the last thing Rey needed right now. “I didn’t expect I’d ever come out to someone this way, either. With some of the backwards thinking folks have in some parts of the galaxy, you never know how they’re going to take it.”

She nodded and blurted out,

“I never would have guessed. I mean…”

“Yeah, I know.” His crooked smile grew. Rey was too lightheaded to realize it was the same exact smile as Han Solo in the poster she bought years back. Later that evening, she would connect the dots. “For what it’s worth…you, too. My mom says that in recent decades the technology for gender reassignment has improved a lot and the New Republic has made access to it much easier for everyday people. Obviously during the Imperial era, they weren’t interested in funding that sort of thing, but now it’s seeing new life again. So many things that even a few generations back would not have been possible. Like trans men able to increase their height without any nonorganic insertions or species like Twi’leks getting ear transplants. Isn’t that amazing? How lucky are we so we have so many options like that? Now just to find a doctor able and willing.” He ended that on a half-hearted laugh. “I have a couple operations in mind but, I don’t know. Thanks to hormone blockers I never needed a mastectomy and I haven’t even done the ‘big one’ yet that everyone asks about, and I’m not sure if I want to.”

She nodded again, but this time didn’t say anything. Couldn’t say anything. Ben cleared his throat and stood up, pulling on his jacket.

“Sorry, sorry. That was a _lot_ of T-M-I. I just get excited,” he said with a new wave of shyness.

“It’s okay.” She stared at him, only one thought in her head now. _He’s like me. He’s just like me._ “Well, uh, sorry I intruded. I’m gonna go, uh…find some food or something.”

“Certainly.” Ben stood up. “Sorry for—”

“It’s okay,” she said, then took off. But not for food—to find a place to hide.

She eventually decided on the walk-in closet in her cabin, grabbing a pillow off the bed on the way. Once safely inside and the door was shut behind her, Rey curled up on the floor and hugged herself. She did not understand why, and would not understand for a long time. But she found herself sobbing loudly into the pillow, soaking it and letting her screams muffle against it so no one would hear her.

~

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 7, Day 29,_ _30 ABY_

This was the first time, in her memory, that Rey had fully exposed her body to someone else.

She hated her body. Hated that the black-market estrogen provided by Unkar Plutt didn’t fix the things about herself she wanted to change so badly. Hated the chest and hips that were too flat, the shoulders and jawline that were too broad, the hair on her arms and hands, and of course her private parts. She had self-taught how to tuck so that helped some of the time, but most days she just felt like there was a part of her physical form that was foreign, something holding her back from being herself. This did not even go into the way her skin had been darkened, scarred, calloused, and freckled from growing up on Jakku, and was yet another reason she hated how she looked.

And now, here she was, every single one of her insecurities on full display to her new master.

And Rey was, in a word, terrified. When the shadows had appeared on Jakku yesterday morning, telling Rey she had been chosen by the Sith and had to go with them, she could not refuse. The stories she had heard of Sith frightened her but could it be any worse than life as a Jakku scavenger? Besides, the idea of being ‘chosen’ had meant she was somehow special, had some value in her life. But she hadn’t told any of them she was transgender. Hadn’t specified what sort of ‘girl’ they were picking up.

Now Snoke knew. He knew everything about Rey that she hated. The leader of the Sith Eternal cult saw all her insecurities on full display.

She wanted to say something to the figure in front of her, but no words came out. He had asked her to undress for him so he could see what his new apprentice looked like, and Rey had no choice but to obey. Tears rushed to her eyes as she clasped her hands over her genitalia, like that was going to do any good.

“I—I’m sorry…” was all she could quietly sob.

But the cult leader did not turn her away, send her back to Jakku or even just kill her. Instead, he moved closer to her until he was inches away. His hand, which was weathered and scarred, touched her cheek. Rey flinched and squeezed her eyes shut. She had never felt so exposed and humiliated in her whole life and it was only worsening with each second.

“It’s all right, my dear. I understand how you feel. In fact…” he said gently, “This is the safest place you can be right now. No one else will accept you the way the Sith Eternal will.”

“But…there are others like me in the galaxy, aren’t there?” she asked. Rey had heard stories now and then of famous people before her time who lived happy, fulfilling lives being transgender. Depending on which sentient species, there were all sorts of medical procedures one could undergo if one desired to. As for Human transgender women, Rey could name a small handful she had learned about one way or another over the years. So, in a hypothetical sense, she knew she wasn’t the only one who felt this way. After all, how else would Unkar Plutt have been able to get her the estrogen supplements and injections?

“Certainly. But the chances you’d ever meet someone like you are very unlikely,” Snoke answered.

“But—”

He squeezed her chin. That shut her up quick.

“Listen to me carefully, dear one. No one else in the galaxy will care for you the way we will care for you here. No one else will care to understand you. They’ll cast you aside, discard you like garbage. Just as your parents did.”

Rey’s eyes widened. How. How did he know about her parents?

“But here…as long as you follow my teachings, you can continue down this path. Trust me when I say, the galaxy is a dangerous, cruel place. But here, my child, you will be safe. And you will be seen for who you truly are.”

Rey didn’t know what to say. What _did_ you say to an offer like that? Follow the ways of the Sith and not only could she keep transitioning, but she’d never risk rejection.

Maybe he was right. Maybe in theory she wasn’t alone, but it wasn’t like she’d ever find other transgender people in such a vast galaxy with all its cultures and communities. And even if she did find one, they would probably hate her for where she came from and not let her in anyway.

This place—the Sith Eternal, and Snoke’s lair—was her only chance at acceptance.

~

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

_He lied to me,_ she realized.

_Why did he lie to me? Why did he tell me nobody else would understand?_

When Rey felt she couldn’t cry anymore, she pulled the tear-soaked pillow away. She washed her face in the fresher and drank some water to re-hydrate. She kept seeing the pilot with the needle, and the way he had smiled at her and went on that tangent about gender reassignment surgery.

There had to be an explanation for it. Snoke hadn’t wanted to give her false hope of meeting someone like her. He didn’t want her filling her head with fantasies of it. The pilot couldn’t be trusted.

 _My master only does what’s best for me. He lied to me for a good reason,_ Rey told herself, mouthing the words as if that would help solidify them.

_Not my place to question it. Not my place to question his teachings._

She stayed in her cabin a while longer to pull herself back together. When she felt a little better, Rey decided to look around for a bite to eat. Nothing worked up an appetite better than a huge emotional meltdown. As she looked around for the dining area an ID9 seeker droid approached her. It said something in a droid language that Rey did not understand. She knew binary, however.

“I’m sorry, I—”

“Ah, perhaps you speak Basic, then?” the droid asked her.

“Yes!”

“Good, then I am pleased to inform you that dinner will be served in approximately six minutes, and Captain Solo wanted me to ask you if you would like to join him. If not, your meal will be served in your cabin.”

“Oooh, fancy, fancy. I get to dine with the _captain_ ,” she mocked, making a kissy face at the droid. “What are we having?”

“Nerf steak, roasted kibla greens in gangini sauce, a side of haroun bread, and vanilla sweetcake for dessert. The dining room is on the upper deck. Take the main stairway and turn left and the door is second on the right. Assuming you have even a miniscule sense of direction, you should locate it without a problem.”

“I’ll be there!” She smiled sweetly at him. _I have no clue what the hell this droid just said._

The droid finally left her alone and Rey took the few minutes she had to put on socks and shoes. Before leaving her cabin, Rey wrapped her lightsaber in a blanket then put it in a small safe, which she was able to lock with a four-digit code. It was good to know the pilot allowed his passengers that level of privacy. Rey had no trouble finding the dining room, if only prompted to by the rich smell of the foods cooking. It reminded her a bit of the smells of what the Sith Eternal would eat when they dined together, but even they ate simpler foods. They took pride in not depending on everyday luxuries and pleasures, dedicating every bit of discomfort to the ways of the Sith and their master.

She entered the dining hall and stared at the table for a bit. The pilot sat on one side, pouring them both a glass of water. The room was simple and had a classically-designed chandelier hanging above the table. The viewport along the back wall had a moving hologram, specifically a thirty-second loop depicting a sunny, tropical beach; bright blue waves washed up along sand as white as snow. The image was so vivid Rey could almost smell the salty sea and feel the sunlight on her face. She cleared her throat and pulled up a chair across from the pilot.

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“No problem. It’s nice to have someone to eat dinner with again. Being the only person on board for long stretches, it can get kind of lonely.”

“I know how that feels,” she said quietly, thinking of how many meals she had eaten alone in that old AT-AT on Jakku. She stared at the plates and bowls in front of them. “This looks…really, really good.”

“Dig right in.” He gestured for her to go first.

Rey blushed a bit, but was too hungry to concern herself with manners. She grabbed a big fork and scooped up the roasted kibla greens first, then used a spoon to scoop out enough of the gangini sauce to pour over. She remembered her experience trying the soup and bread in Tuanul; she couldn’t imagine what this was going to be like.

“You cooked all of this?” she asked.

“Kate helped. I’m fairly decent at cooking, but she is the best. I’ve never had one of my passengers complain about the food here.” He smiled proudly.

“And Kate is…”

“Oh, my astromech droid. You probably haven’t seen her yet. She’s…shy around new people. But she’s very smart.”

Rey nodded and dared take a small bite of the kibla greens. She nearly coughed it right back out but managed to keep it down.

“Woah! This is…it tastes…” _Green. Stringy. Leafy. Creamy. Strong. Spicy. Too much. TOO MUCH._

“You okay?” Ben asked, giving her a slight look of concern.

“No, I’m good! I just…it’s been a while since I’ve had food this tasty. Being on Jakku a while you get used to eating bland, awful stuff.” She focused on chewing it, taking her time to process the new tastes and textures.

The pilot seemed to accept that answer, at least for now, and he resumed cutting up his food with a fork and knife. Rey watched him, noting his precision and even the way he held his knife so it cut in perfect motion. It reminded her of some of the wealthier Sith Eternal. Had he been raised in a rich household too? And if so, how could he be related to the famous smuggler? What was the correlation there?

Rey was so focused on that she didn’t even realize he had asked her a question until she caught him staring at her.

“Huh? What? Sorry.” She swallowed her food.

“I asked where you come from. Your student identification card said you’re from the University of Coruscant. Does your family live there too?”

“Uh, yeah. Sah’c Town,” she said. It was one of the only residential districts of the planet she knew by name, thanks to a Sith Eternal member being from there and mentioning it a few times.

“I’ve been to Coruscant a few times. Busy place, but breathtaking. I went to the Manarai Mountains once on a trip with my family. Spent days up there just seeing the sights. Have you ever been there?”

“No, I’m afraid not. Never seen them.” She didn’t even know Coruscant _had_ mountains.

“I’m pretty sure you can see them from Sah’c Town, though,” he said. “We stayed a night at a hotel there before going up to Monument Plaza.”

She tried not to seethe at him. His smile was fake now. _Asshole._ Instead, Rey sighed and set down her fork.

“Okay, okay…I see what you’re doing.” She raised her hands in mock defeat and spoke in a sing-song tone. “You got me! I’m caught. I’m not from Coruscant, and I’m not from a rich family. Well, not exactly.”

“Why did you feel the need to lie to me?” He leaned back in his chair, not fazed by her confession. He must have figured out early on that she lied to him. Which struck Rey as a bit odd. Why would someone so weakened by her sob story also have such distrust of others? To her, it was a peculiar combination—a person who was both compassionate and guarded.

“I’m sorry. I know you must not trust me and think I’m deceiving you, or…” Since using his compassion to her advantage had worked before, Rey didn’t see why it couldn’t work again. She stared at her plate to appear ashamed. “I was just afraid if I told you the truth you’d be afraid of me, that’s all.”

“I don’t like being lied to,” he said calmly, but firmly.

“But if you just let me explain you’d understand!” She looked up at him. His gaze was strong, steadfast, but she could tell he was conflicted. He wanted to believe her. “I…it’s true that I came to Jakku to meet the Church of the Force, and it’s true I’m going to Ilum to study the kyber crystals.”

“I had a feeling. Few people even know Ilum exists.”

“But I’m not going for a thesis. That student ID is fake.” The First Order Intelligence may be skilled at sending spies within enemy ranks, and providing fake identities so they weren’t discovered. But if Ben doubted her this much already, he probably doubted the student ID’s credibility as well. So it would be safer to admit that willingly rather than wait for him to bring it up.

“I had a feeling. It did look pretty authentic, though. Whoever you paid to make it deserved a tip.”

“Yeah, I had it made before I came here. It was a good alibi, don’t you think?” She grinned.

He wasn’t smiling back. He was all serious now.

“Why did you hire me, and how did you afford the payment?”

“One at a time, _captain_ ,” she said, emphasizing the word. Rey took a big gulp of water which was too cold for her liking before leaning back in the chair. “The truth is…I want to be a Jedi. I have some Force sensitivity.”

He sat up straight, eyes wide with surprise. Rey had been wondering how he’d take that. A word like ‘Jedi’ was whispered around these days as an old myth, a part of galactic history that many believed had been exaggerated, that heroes’ skills and strength had grown larger-than-life each time the stories were told. The same way that soldiers and kings became demi-gods centuries after their time. In fact up until Snoke found her, Rey hadn’t believed the Jedi were real either. She wondered what someone like Ben thought of those stories.

“And the money?”

“I recently came upon some, uh…luck, I guess? Some distant relative died and left me a bit of his fortune in his will. And I figured, now that I could afford to travel the galaxy and learn how to become a Jedi, why not do it? So yes, technically I’m from a rich family, but I didn’t grow up rich.” That story should satisfy him, she figured, and hopefully kept him sympathizing with her situation.

As for the pilot he nodded in thought as he began spreading butter on a thick slice of haroun bread. He ate the whole thing in two large bites.

“You’re just not gonna comment on the whole Jedi Force thing?” Rey pressed.

“Where did you get the idea to go to Ilum?”

“I told you, I’ve been studying! The Church of the Force told me all about the place. How the Jedi would go there to find crystals to make their special weapons. You’re…you’re not changing your mind, are you? You said you would take me to Ilum.”

“I’m not going back on my word. I’ll still take you there.” It was the pilot’s turn to stare at his plate of food. “I just…have my own opinions about the Jedi. Not all good ones.”

“A-ha. I hear that a lot these days,” she said, relieved that he wasn’t a Jedi sympathizer. “Anyway, I’m…I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“I understand why you did. Thank you for telling the truth.”

Rey smiled at him again, already daydreaming about what she might decide to do with him when they got to Starkiller Base. Would his death be quick, or slow? Would she get into his head and learn all about him? Or maybe, just maybe, would she find some way to keep him alive? She couldn’t wait to find out.

“No…thank _you_ , Captain Solo.”

~

_Resistance headquarters, D’Qar – Month 4, Day 13, 34 ABY_

The stormtrooper couldn’t move.

When he shot that Resistance trooper, something had happened inside him. It went deeper than one’s own emotions of thoughts, even deeper than memories or behavior that came by second nature. He had felt the trooper’s spirit leaving. Leaving where exactly? Whatever one would call the physical plane of existence we all inhabit until we die. He had felt the trooper’s last moments of courage in the battle, their determination to keep fighting, their grief at the friends on either side of them who had already been shot down, and then the very brief instant of terror and agony just before the blast killed them, and then they were gone. No more. An entire life, completely erased. And he had done that.

The stormtrooper collapsed to his knees, leaning against a N’lor tree. He had the urge to vomit but he didn’t dare take off his helmet, so he had to choke it down. His cheeks were stained with dried tears. When he looked up he saw the soldiers in white armor rushing past him. Blaster fire rained down on the Resistance troopers holding ground in the landing area. He smelled the blood and heard the screams and the weight of what he had done was a crushing weight around him, like he was being squeezed and folding in on himself.

_What is happening to me? Why did…why did I feel what that soldier felt?_

No matter how many times he asked that question over and over, there was no answer. Just the chaos around him.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, but it wasn’t there to comfort him. It squeezed down on the spot where the black body glove underneath was exposed between armor plates, then pushed him forward.

“FN-2187! Did I order you to sit there and cower?!” he heard his captain snap at him.

He shuddered and clutched his blaster rifle tighter, as if for comfort.

“N-No, Captain,” he managed to stammer.

“Then get up! We’re about to overtake the base.” This time when she pushed him, he stumbled to his feet and stood upright. “I fought hard to get you here, soldier. Don’t make me regret it,” she said coolly.

“Yes, Captain!” He swallowed again and forced himself to his feet.

“Follow the others inside the base!” With that Captain Phasma moved back to the front ranks. By then it seemed that the fight was more or less over. He soon filed in with the others in his company who kept moving in. Others were ordered to stay behind and keep on the lookout for any enemies who might be trying to escape, using the jungle brush as cover. As for Finn, he stayed with the soldiers approaching the base. This time, Eight-Seven knew better than to look at the ground. The dead were countless, First Order and Resistance alike. The smell of death filled the air. It was more suffocating than the high humidity.

Eight-Seven saw Resistance troopers standing in the trenches, which had been dug along the landing area. They were dropping their weapons and raising their hands in surrender as stormtroopers surrounded them. Defeat was in their eyes. Phasma continued to walk towards the base, then said without stopping,

“Shoot them all.”

A few troopers made small cries of protest before they were gunned down. Eight-Seven winced at the sight. He didn’t understand why they wouldn’t take any prisoners, but it wasn’t his place to question her orders. He held his blaster rifle even tighter, and he told himself to just keep walking. His body was not his own. It was easier to walk in place when he was surrounded by troops on all sides.

“Hey, kiddo.” One of the soldiers clapped him on the back—someone who had been in multiple battles and loved to brag about it too. “You shaken up from your first fight?”

“No, sir!” Eight-Seven said, finding his voice was hoarse. What he wouldn’t give for a drink of water right now.

“You’re the little one Phasma bumped up in the ranks, aren’t you? Don’t know what she saw in you,” he laughed.

Eight-Seven winced; if Phasma overheard that the man would be in trouble for talking negatively about a superior-ranking soldier. But Phasma had walked ahead of them now. She watched as the AT-AT’s began pummeling the main door to the base. Each explosion shook the ground, making Eight-Seven’s teeth chatter. It only took a couple minutes for the door to be completely destroyed.

Faintly, he responded to the order to move inside the base. Eight-Seven expected another wave of blaster fire from the last of the enemy. Instead, they were greeted by the vast empty rooms inside. The only things they had left behind were sparse storage containers and furniture. His footsteps echoed on the vast interior walls, sending chills up his spine.

Phasma told some of them to stay and secure the base while the others moved farther in. Relieved that he didn’t have to keep walking, Eight-Seven stood at attention. He ignored the looks the other soldiers were giving him, but he could feel it. How many of them had witnessed his meltdown after his first kill? Had they seen Phasma berating him and ordering him to keep moving?

 _I screwed up,_ the stormtrooper thought. _All my life this is what I’ve been trained to do, but when it mattered I couldn’t even do it right_. If a soldier couldn’t kill one single enemy without a meltdown, did it even matter how good they were in training simulations? No, it didn’t. It meant that he was a failure as a soldier and Phasma would be in hot water for believing he could do it despite his age. And that meant when this was over she was going to take out her anger on him.

Eight-Seven wanted to cry again, but this time he managed to choke it down. Shutting his emotion away and refusing to dwell on the life he had taken just minutes ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of hits a lot of notes and comes from personal feelings/thoughts (I'm trans and Ben's big info dump when he learns Rey is trans is a BIG mood for me XDDD)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my biggest inspirations for how I write dark Rey is Villanelle from the show 'Killing Eve'. I...really love Villanelle. She has never done anything wrong in her life, ever. She is baby  
> Also, more big mood for hashtag just trans things in this chapter  
> Hope everyone is enjoying this story so far ^^

_Resistance headquarters, D’Qar – Month 4, Day 13, 34 ABY_

As Poe expected, it didn’t take the First Order long to overwhelm the three of them. He managed to kill about a dozen more of them, but that only delayed the inevitable.

By his estimation, their defense gave the Resistance roughly an extra ten to fifteen minutes to head through the tunnel, which meant they would have made it a little under a mile. With two miles to go, hopefully the extra time would pay off and they would escape in time.

Either way, Poe had no control over that anymore.

The trooper beside him was shot in the shoulder, then in the head. That gave the stormtroopers enough of a window to move in and surround Poe and the remaining trooper. Initially, Poe planned to just keep shooting and taking out as many of them as he could before he breathed his last. But he didn’t get that chance. One soldier moved in behind and struck him hard across the back with his blaster rifle, knocking Poe to the ground.

“Should we shoot them too?”

“No.” A First Order captain walked in. Poe couldn’t help but stare at her armor, shiny chromium that stood out from the other troops. Something about her chilled him. “This one is Commander Dameron. Keep him alive.”

“Sorry, have we met?” Poe couldn’t help but quip at her.

She ignored his remark and nodded to the soldiers behind him. They grabbed Poe roughly by the arms and cuffed his wrists behind him.

“Take him back to the ship for questioning. And kill the other.”

“No!” Poe looked at the other Resistance trooper helplessly. Even while knowing it was pointless he still struggled against the soldiers holding him before another opened fire on the man. Now it was just Poe, alone and in over his head. He shut his eyes for a moment before he was led away.

 _At least the Jedi Temple’s location is safe,_ he reminded himself. He had to hold onto that hope. Hope that Rose Tico and BB-8 would return to Leia safely, whatever it took, and that the First Order would never come this close to finding precious Resistance intel again.

Poe’s knowledge of the new Jedi Order was, in short, limited. He had grown up hearing some of the stories about legendary heroes who were always there to save the galaxy in its most desperate hour. The most famous example these days was, of course, Luke Skywalker, who defeated both Darth Vader and Emperor Sidious. When Poe met Leia he learned even more about the students Luke had taken in to train as the new generation of Jedi. He also found out that Luke was Leia’s brother, as well as some of the history of the Skywalker lineage. Poe didn’t know the whole story yet, but he wasn’t entitled to know everything about them. He did, however, know that if the First Order became strong enough, the Jedi would be their last chance.

Most of all, he had to believe that protecting the Jedi from the First Order would not be in vain. That in the end it would mean something and save not just the Jedi, but the entire galaxy.

He had to believe in that, or he would lose everything.

As he was more or less dragged back to the surface, of all people, Poe thought of Snap Wexley. Hopefully Snap had made it and in that case, he would be picking up Rose Tico, BB-8, and the others shortly. There was a small chance that Poe might, just might, get out of this alive. But since the map was safe he doubted the Resistance would risk losing more lives to save his own. And that was okay with him. He had accepted that when he joined the cause. He just wished he could have had a chance to say a more thought-out goodbye.

But it was too late to think about that now. He had a new mission—stay strong until the end.

_~_

_Republic City, Hosnian Prime - Month 4, Day 14,_ _34 ABY_

General Leia Organa had been staring at the holocomputer on her desk for a long time. Her eyes had begun aching an hour ago, and the pain was now making its way through her head all the way to the back of her skull.

She had sent the message to Luke’s outpost early this morning. It had been received, but there was no response yet. In some cases, no news from the small group of Jedi and Jedi-in-training was good; it meant there was nothing to worry about, and for all Leia knew their life proceeded in peace, as normal.

Not the case today.

Rather, Leia got to start her morning by learning of the attack on their D’Qar base, as well as its destruction. Less than a dozen survivors, which did not include Commander Dameron; however, according to some maintenance worker the map to the Jedi Temple was secured. Even with that silver of good news, it also meant they had lost one of their most vital bases. D’Qar, while only less than three parsecs from their second base, served as an important operation for deploying starfighters as well as storing supplies. Without it, they would have to move all their resources to the next closest system, Naboo. They had allies on Naboo, but the First Order had their eyes on that planet. Getting to and from it would require moving carefully and in small numbers. Not the most ideal for their situation at the moment. Leia had thousands of troops and ships under her command, and nowhere to put them. So, after calling on the Resistance High Command to decide what to do with the loss of D’Qar, they had no choice but to divide up their strength. Scatter themselves throughout their smaller locations across the galaxy, then hide on neutral star systems and hold out on hope.

And then Leia did something she had not been expecting herself to do—at least not for some time. She contacted her brother for help. Now, several hours later, she was still waiting for a response. While waiting, she watched a live feed of the latest Senate hearing going on—another pointless display of bickering, a mockery of what the Rebellion had fought and bled for, all to see another generation of politicians feeding themselves and trying to squeeze as much power from the local jurisdictions as they could. Sometimes it didn’t seem so much as a fight for justice and it was a cycle of responding to injustice until the next oppressor stepped in line.

Leia could not read too much into it. A lack of communication may not be intentional on Luke’s part. After all, he only visited the outpost once every couple weeks or so to pick up supplies; that way, the Jedi Temple’s location could not be tracked by anyone hacking information on shipments delivered to them. He might see her message in several days’ time.

But could she wait that long? Was she in the right to ask them for help? Was this a violation of what the twin siblings agreed on when they went on their own separate ways? Or was this the right thing to do in their hour of need?

At the end of the day, was the Resistance entitled to ask the Jedi for help? Were the Jedi morally obligated to aid the galaxy? Was that part of the role of being a Jedi, or had that been a role established by the Old Republic as a means of using the Jedi to keep the galaxy under their control?

Unfortunately, Leia did not know enough about the Jedi to answer that for herself. And for that matter, Luke was still learning a lot of it on his own as well. But she had to know if this was the right thing to do.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when the door to her apartment opened. Operations controller Kaydel Connix walked in. She had assisted the starfighter pilots on D’Qar in helping the Resistance evacuate from the planet, and then followed Leia’s orders to send them to Naboo. For now, it seemed the map was safe. But that could change in a matter of days, if not hours, depending how their hiding out on Naboo went.

“General Organa?” Connix asked. “Have we heard anything yet?”

“I’m afraid not,” Leia sighed. “We will keep an eye out in case he responds.”

“What if they don’t answer? What if they never come to help us?” She wrung her hands in front of her.

Leia took that moment to look away from the computer, at last. She rubbed her eyes, but that wasn’t taking the pain away. She’d need extra strong caf for this headache.

“Don’t jump to conclusions yet, Connix,” she warned the younger woman. Connix reminded Leia of herself at that age—her spunk, her fighting spirit, her resilience. She hoped Connix would be able to hold onto that fire and not let her weariness and heartbreak wear her down, as Leia sometimes feared her own fire had. “They may answer our call eventually. This is one of those times where all we can do is hope for the best, plan for the worst.”

“Yes, General,” Connix said, and clasped her hands in front of her. “Is there anything you would like me to get for you?”

“Actually, there is.” Leia shut off the live feed of the Senate hearing. She had had enough of that nonsense to last a lifetime. “Contact the evacuees on Naboo. Who was the girl Poe gave the map to?”

“Rose Tico, ma’am.”

“Yes, of course. Inform them that they must stay in hiding on Naboo for the time being. The First Order will be looking for them and the last thing we want is to draw more attention to ourselves right now. Ask how long they expect they can stay on the planet undetected.”

“Yes, ma’am. Right away.” Connix nodded again.

“And one more thing…try to contact my son again.” Since her conversation with Poe, Leia had sent him several messages, warning him about Operation Supernova and the fact that they were after the Jedi Temple’s location, a location he knew. But Ben hadn’t been responding to any of the messages. She knew he must be busy or not realizing the importance of it, but he needed to know as soon as possible. “That is all, Connix. Thank you.”

“Of course, General.”

When she was alone again, Leia closed her eyes. This was her last resort, but what other choice did she have?

She hadn’t had nearly enough training in the Force as her brother. There was a period of several months in which she had just begun tapping into the potential she had felt inside her for years but never knew how to properly use or get to know. Luke had taught her the few things he had been trained in through the Force. They even went to Ilum and she was able to craft a lightsaber of her own. But only a few months in, other parts of Leia’s life began taking priority. She was elected as a Populist Senator in the New Republic Senate; she married Han, and they purchased a home on Chandrila; and then she found out she was pregnant. It was too much for her to balance life as a politician, war hero, wife and mother-to-be, much less focus on Jedi training all at the same time.

In the end, Leia realized that the path of the Jedi was not one for her to follow. Her role in helping make the galaxy a better place was in the Senate, the place she had been trained since a young age to work in.

Turns out, even taking Jedi training out of the picture, she had bitten off more than she could chew anyway. Leia had regrets about the way she raised Ben, or that is, the lack thereof.

But Leia was able to use what little knowledge of the Force she had. She reached within herself, remembering Luke’s teaching in regards to meditation. Connecting to the higher being, not being just one individual self but being part of a larger existence, a cosmic binding of all living things in harmony.

She was no longer just Leia Organa, adopted daughter of Bail and Breha Organa, biological daughter of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala. She was no longer just Han’s wife or Ben’s mother, even though all of those things remained just as true as they had always been. She was still her _self_ , with all her convictions and passions and her insecurities and fears and strengths and sorrows…but her ‘self’ was not all there was to her. Leia was also a part of a much larger existence. She was a part of everything around her. Everything from the starflowers in the pot twenty feet away from her to the glass of water on the desk to her neighbors in the apartment building…and it did not stop there. It only just begun. Every beating heart of every sentient in Republic City pulsed in time to the ever-changing Force of life, whether they knew it or not—from the poor and downtrodden struggling to make ends meet to the rich folks abiding safely in their mansions to the everyday workers who were tired and just wanted to go home to their families to the lone wolves who had never had a family to love them and never would—and that extended even further out to the rest of Hosnian Prime, until Leia felt the tension in the Senate in every unsaid word and every gossip behind closed doors. She let her presence in the Force reach even deeper until it was embedded in her very heart and soul, and strengthened her bond with the people closest to her, the people she knew better than herself. Her brother, her husband, her son, and her best friends. She felt Han’s troubled past resurfacing with each reminder of the father he never knew and the fear of doing the same to his own son. Ben’s deep compassion for anyone around him who was in pain and his frustration of not always being able to help. Amilyn’s convictions she had fought and struggled to hold onto when everyone in her life told her to give up and compromise who she was for her career’s sake. Leia felt all of it as if they were her own emotions. Luke’s unwavering courage in the face of impossible odds, as well as his tendency to always look out to the horizon instead of focusing on the here and now. And there, once she felt her brother, she reached out to him, extending her connection to the man who shared the Skywalker blood within her.

 _Luke…Luke,_ she whispered his name. Not with her lips, but with her soul. Her being—everything that Leia who she was—fared across the galaxy, past billions of stars and trillions more sentient systems, all to reach her loved one. _Luke, hear me. We need the Jedi’s help. Please come back to us and help us fight the First Order. This is our most desperate hour. Help us, Luke…_

And then she let go.

Leia gasped for air as she came back to her apartment. The return was always hard on her body, as she was both not well trained in the Force and wasn’t getting any younger. It was like being on a ship that was forced out of hyperspace without warning, only instead of that inertia coming from outside your body it came from within. Made her ill for long periods for a while. Now, Leia leaned against her desk to steady herself from falling over in her chair.

All that and…still nothing. Luke did not send her any sort of message, not on her holocomputer nor through the Force. Had he even heard her? If he had heard her, would he answer?

Despite the weight of the galaxy’s fate in the balance, right now, Leia realized that deep down, she just wanted her family back together again.

_~_

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

After dinner, Ben cleaned up the dishes and offered to take Rey on a tour of the ship. Mostly because he wanted to keep an eye on her. But also to learn more about her. And maybe he also did it to be nice, because she seemed to be absolutely head over heels with the _Odysseus._

“I would _love_ a tour, Captain Solo!” Rey squealed when he brought it up.

“Great. Well, uh, if you’ll follow me this way, Miss Rey?” Ben asked, feeling his ears burn a bit at the way she called him that. Which he found odd considering how often he heard that from passengers. Something about the _way_ she said it drew him in.

Rey walked alongside him. She brought her sweetcake along since she didn’t want to eat it all at once. Ben had wrapped it up for her so she couldn’t get crumbs and stickiness all over her hands. The cake was a little bigger than her fist. Its bread was very light and yellowish with a sponge-like consistency, and the top had white frosting that Rey seemed to enjoy poking at.

“It’s like a little white puffy cloud,” she cooed.

Ben held back the urge to shake his head at her behavior. What the hell was up with this girl? Had she been living under a rock her whole life up until the inheritance money from her relative? Somehow, she managed to have both the naïve innocence of a little child as well as a sharp, almost cunning level of intelligence. To anyone not paying attention, her behavior would suggest she could be easily controlled or manipulated. But Ben was already detecting signs that she could stay one step ahead of him if he wasn’t careful. All the more reason he wanted to keep an eye on her.

Of course, Ben wanted to trust her, to believe every bit of her story. He wanted so badly to believe all her intentions were good and he would not be making a mistake for helping someone in need. But for his own sake, he had to keep his guard up. At least for now.

“So what are you showing me first?” Rey piped up, pulling him out of his thoughts. He glanced at her. Now that she was walking rather close to him, Ben was picking up on the aroma of the lotions she must have put on after her shower. It was flowery and sweet-smelling and was doing exactly what the manufacturer had intended it to do—get Ben’s attention.

“The upper deck. I think you’ll like the view.”

“What kind of…ohh.” Rey stared out at the large floor-to-ceiling window. She paced between the large couches until her eyes landed on the bar on the back wall and the shelves behind it.

“Are any of these good?” she asked, pointing up at the shelves stocked with all sorts of bottles of liquor.

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t drink. Those are just for passengers.”

“The bottles look pretty. Oooh, what’s in this one?” Rey reached up and her fingertips brushed a glass figured flask that was filled with a bright orange liquid.

“That’s Phattro. It’s pretty popular and I only know that because it’s probably one of the bottles I order refills of the most.”

“I’d buy these. Not to drink them, just to look at them. They’re so pretty. And shiny!”

“Yeah, they’re definitely that...”

Rey joined him back at the center of the room and he led her down another hallway. She looked down at her sweetcake, admiring it like she had never seen one before.

“Are you going to eat it?” he asked.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Just checking for bugs.”

“Bugs?!” He looked at her with shock.

“I was joking! Geez, mister.” She stuck her tongue out at him and took another lick at it while keeping her eyes locked on him the whole time.

Ben felt his body tense up slightly. There was a sparkle to her eyes and the way she was so blatant, even obscene with her flirting.

Not to mention how she was transgender too. There was something about knowing that the other person could understand what it was like, that you didn’t have to worry about the awkward questions like “So did you have…the _surgery_?” or “So does that mean you’re gay or straight?”, that you could just say “This is who I am” and no other explanation was required. It was freeing. It was like meeting someone from the place you grew up in except you had never met each other until now. Unfortunately, it also meant that Ben automatically found her more attractive than she already was.

 _Focus, you dummy,_ he told himself. _She’s a lost, scared kid looking for answers, not for love. This is the wrong time and place for that. So no matter what, don’t think about how her lotion smells. Think about what a sopping wet Wookiee smells like after a whole day spent at the beach…there, that’s helping._

He opened his mouth to start asking her more questions—where she grew up, how she first learned about her Force sensitivity, how she learned about the Jedi—when she spoke up first.

“So! I actually have a question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“What the hell were you doing on Jakku?”

“Oh. That…” He thought about how he was going to answer that. If he wanted her to be honest with him, then it was only fair to be equally honest with her. “I was actually hiding from the First Order.”

“The First Order? Why, what did you do?”

In as few words as possible, Ben summarized his little adventure with the Cerean and the Twi’lek and how they encountered the First Order ship. She gave him a funny look as he explained it and nodded slowly at him when he finished.

“Pretty lucky I found you, then. Who knows how long I would have been stuck there,” she remarked.

“I guess so.” He gave her a small smile as she took another lick at her sweetcake. She was still staring at him. When she waggled her tongue at him, Ben stopped walking. “What are you doing?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing. Just licking my cake.” She tilted her head at him, and began flicking her tongue on the bit of frosting hanging on at the very top.

Ben looked away, feeling a bit of heat in his ears. He opened the door that led to another long hallway.

“What would you like to see next? Maybe you’d like to see my starfight—”

“The cockpit, please. I like cockpits.”

“Very well.” He led her through the hall.

~

As he walked ahead of her, Rey gave him a dirty look.

 _So it was_ you _. You’re the one who shot down my ride off of Jakku!_

If she were any less sane, she would have used that as reason to gut him right there. But she reminded herself of three important things. One: because of him, she had been able to prove to both Master Snoke and General Pryde that she could take care of herself. Two: she wouldn’t be able to get this ship to Starkiller by herself.

And, of course, three: he was the only other transgender person she had ever met. No matter how much she wanted to pretend that conversation had never happened, she couldn’t neglect that convenient little fact. But did it mean anything to her? For that matter, _should_ it mean anything?

She walked behind him as they approached the cockpit. He opened the door and beckoned for her to follow him in. The lights in the cockpit were slightly dimmed, which meant all the controls lit up the room. Rey marveled at the walls and dashboards, all the switches, buttons, display screens, knobs, keyboards, and levers. Rey just wanted to mash and play with them all at once.

“That’s a lot of buttons,” she said. _As soon as this ship lands, I’m gonna press every single one._

“Well, yes. There are a lot of things to maintain on a ship this size,” he said, clearly missing the wonder of all the lights and sounds around him. How could he not see how amazing this place was?

“This is my new favorite room!” Rey jumped in the copilot’s chair. She did not see the look of horror and surprise on the captain’s face at her behavior. Still ignoring him, she spun around in the chair and looked up at the switches on the ceiling. She stuck her feet out as she spun, letting the dizziness of the spinning give her almost a feeling of being high. She was losing count of how many colors the buttons lit up around her. “I wanna know what every single one of these does!”

“What? You’re not serious. There are _hundreds_ of—”

“I _said_ …” Rey turned her chair towards him, abruptly stopping it from spinning. She glared up at him and jutted out her lower lip. “I want to know what every single one of these does. I’m your passenger, and I’m bored, so you have to entertain me, Captain Solo.”

The tall, dark-haired captain leaned one shoulder against the doorway to the cockpit. She could feel him studying her, trying to figure her out. He just looked at her like she had sprouted a second head. Was he not used to taking orders, at being told what to do? Well, Rey could remedy that.

“It will take a long time,” he finally replied.

“I. Don’t. Care. Tell me, tell me.” Rey sulked more. “It’s just your ship is so wizard and I’ve never seen anything like it and I want to learn. Pretty please, Captain?”

Yet again, he fell for her act and relented. He let out a long sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair and he began to walk past her to sit down beside her in the pilot’s chair.

But he never got the chance to even start. Much to Rey’s later disappointment.

All of a sudden, Rey felt something pulling her back into her seat. Her stomach lurched, and she couldn’t breathe for a second. A large, long shudder coursed through the entire ship. Everything made a groan. Rey tasted a bit of supper in her mouth and quickly swallowed it before she was sick.

At the same time, Ben had been standing right in front of her unprepared for the movement. As the ship shuddered, he was jolted forward and lost his balance. His only way to stop his fall was to grab onto the arms of Rey’s chair. In less than two seconds, the space between them had decreased to less than several inches. Rey realized their faces were so close she could smell the leather of his jacket and whatever he used to wash his hair.

Once they both recovered from the moment, he looked up at her and his cheeks turned rosy. Rey blinked at him. He had her more or less pinned to the chair as he leaned down over her.

“Um…what just happened?” Rey managed to ask.

He blinked back at her, looking rather flustered himself. Carefully, Ben pushed himself up and stood upright again.

“Ship was pulled out of hyperspace.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know yet. But I need to go find out.” He turned to leave. His back wasn’t even turned to her before Rey got up.

“I’m coming with you,” she said. There was a slight warmth in her lower stomach. It was a feeling she had never felt before. She had no idea what was happening in her body and whether or not she was supposed to be afraid of it.


	13. Chapter 13

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Ben felt like he could use a splash of cold water on his face right now. That moment he stumbled and stopped his fall with the chair Rey happened to be sitting in…had been too close. He was pent up from not having sex in a long time and it was starting to show.

At least it seemed they now had a distraction. Ben pulled out his comlink to contact the droids when he saw Delta turn around the bend. The droid hurried towards them.

“Delta, I assume you felt that too?” Ben said dryly.

“It appears that we were pulled out of hyperspace due to an interference on the hyperlane,” the droid replied.

Ben sighed. He had plotted part of their course on the Jedha Corridor, named after a planet in the Freestanding Subsectors that was a reliable pitstop for travelers. He had hoped it would save both time and money. And in almost every case it did. But it seemed like now that had done just the opposite.

“What sort of interference?” Ben asked the droid.

“Not quite sure yet. My visual receptors say it’s a large asteroid.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” This hyperlane had been deemed clear of asteroids a long time ago. Something was up. Ben frowned, biting his lip as he turned to head back into the cockpit. “Prepare the system for another jump to hyperspace as soon as we clear the area. I’ll run a scan of the asteroid just to be safe.”

As the droid rushed off to the lower deck, Rey followed Ben back inside. She was still looking around at all the controls, like this was the first time she had been in a working ship before. Ben took a seat in the pilot’s chair and looked out the viewport. Sure enough, ahead of them he spotted the asteroid dead ahead. It wasn’t gigantic—not quite the size of the ship—but must have been big enough to force the _Odysseus_ back into realspace.

“Well, there it is all right,” Ben muttered as he began manually steering the ship a few degrees off. As he reached for the steering levels, he was startled when Rey grabbed his forearm. Her grip was unusually tight. Tight enough to bruise.

“Something’s wrong,” she said.

There was a tone in her voice that prompted him to look at her. Her cheery demeanor from before was gone. Now, her eyes were wide with alarm and her mouth hung open. The sweetcake had slipped from her hand and now lay on the floor in a sugary, frosted heap.

“What?” Ben felt a pang of dread inside him.

“Something’s wrong. I can feel it,” she repeated.

“You mean, in the Force?” Ben asked. But of course, he already knew the answer.

The ship gave another shudder. This time it was not from being pulled out of hyperspace, but being pulled slowly backward, like something had tied a rope around the ship and was slowly reeling them in. It was not the first time Ben had experienced such a sensation, and it could only mean one thing.

Ben jolted upright and cursed under his breath.

“Now what? What’s happening?” Rey snapped at him, baring her teeth in alarm.

“It’s a tractor beam. Someone is pulling us in.” _Of course!_ The pieces connected in his mind. Ben had read about a tactic like this years ago, from an old book Lando had given to him as ‘required reading’ if he was going to get his piloting license. In part of the book it described tactics pirates had been using over the millennia to capture goods. One such method had been called the Barricade or ‘deep hunting.’ They would use tractor beams to move a large object, like an asteroid, into a hyperlane forming a mass block, then lie in wait for an approaching ship to be pulled into realspace. In the moments between a ship’s hyperspace system shutting down and then booting back up, they were vulnerable to an attack.

Ben tried maximizing auxiliary power, but it was already too late. _Odysseus_ was dead center in the tractor beam and was being pulled in.

“I asked, what’s happening?” Rey repeated in a higher pitch.

“Pirates,” Ben said curtly. He activated a viewscreen located near the main deck to see who was pulling them in. Above the viewscreen a large, rusty hull loomed over them. It was a _Marauder­_ -class corvette, a ship that Ben remembered was popular among pirates for its extremely accurate tractor beams. It was slightly bigger than _Odysseus_ , and by the looks of it, the ship had been around for a long time. It looked like it was barely holding together and had been through a lot of battles, much like how Ben imagined his father’s ship would look in a few years’ time, give or take. One of its four tractor beam projectors had them in a tight grip and was dragging them below it.

Ben clenched his jaw, thinking fast.

“Seriously? Great job, getting us into this mess.” Rey rolled her eyes.

He ignored her remark; he had too much to do right now. Ben double checked his holster at his side to make sure his blaster was still there, which it was.

“Delta, meet me at the main deck and lock down every door,” he said into his com.

“What about me? What can I do to help?” Rey asked. She followed close behind him, having to walk nearly twice as fast to keep up with his strides.

“You need to get to cover and hide. I’m not letting the pirates hurt you,” Ben said. He was about to give her directions to one of the compartments on board built for hiding in case of emergencies, but Rey cut him off before he could start.

“Hurt me? You don’t know who the hell you’re talking to,” she cried indignantly, like he had just insulted her family name.

 _No, I don’t think I do,_ he thought with dismay.

“Can you hold up in a fight? This could get ugly if I’m not able to talk us out of this.” Not that he expected he’d be able to, but he had to try.

“You’re kidding, right?” Rey grinned and got up. “Wait. Dammit, I left my weapon in my room. Be right back!”

“I don’t think you have time to…” But she had already turned the corner and ran off in the direction of the passenger cabins before he could finish his sentence. Ben let his sentence trail off and sighed, then continued making his way to the main deck. Halfway there, his ship gave another small shudder as the boarding shuttle attached itself to the _Odysseus_. He swallowed hard, quickening his gait until he saw Delta and Kate on the main deck. Just like their last encounter with trouble, the droids each had their own unique way of responding to violence or threat of violence. Delta was eager to assist Ben almost to a degree that made Ben wonder if the droid had a sadistic side, while Kate was nervous and could even short-circuit as a response to danger. But considering the abuse she had gone through that was understandable.

“It appears the pirates are boarding via a docking tube attached to an airlock on the upper deck,” Delta said.

“Then they’ll be taking the west elevator,” Ben replied. He nodded in that direction and the trio hurried there. Kate was making nervous beeps and whirrs as she followed. The ship only had two elevators connecting the upper, main, and lower decks, and the west elevator was primarily used by passengers to get from their cabins to rooms used for dining and recreation. The hallway leading up to the west elevator was wide with a slight curve. Ben glanced at her over his shoulder. “Kate, go find Rey and stay with her. If the pirates take over, get the two of you in an escape pod, okay?”

[I don’t want to leave you! I want to stay with you!] she cried.

But Ben didn’t have time to argue with her. The pirates were already on board and heading their way. He quickly took cover by pinning himself against the wall where it began to curve so he could not be seen from the elevator. His entire focus was on keeping calming, focusing on what he had to do. The droids took cover beside him. Kate whistled nervously again and he had to hush her quiet.

The elevator doors opened. He heard footsteps. Then a voice rang out, calm and steady with a harsh version of a dialect normally heard in the Core Worlds.

“You can come out from hiding, pilot. We know you’re here. We already scanned the ship for life forms.”

 _Figures._ Ben took a deep breath then emerged from his hiding place. He looked the pirates over. They were a mix of sentient species, with mismatched armor and weapons. They were otherwise well dressed and in fairly clean, professional composure, suggesting these pirates had been in the business for a rather long time and were not the type to immediately resort to brutal measures. Seven total were in the boarding crew, and the one in the front had armor that was stronger and more polished than the others. Ben guessed he must be the crew’s leader.

“May I ask what you’re doing pulling in my ship and boarding without permission?” Ben asked sharply. Then realized that was a pretty dumb thing to ask.

The pirate standing in front gave him a smile.

“I think you know the answer to that, lad. This doesn’t have to end in bloodshed, you know.”

“I agree.” Ben felt relief they weren’t the type to just open fire and kill on sight, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in danger. He balanced his hand on his hip, close to his holster. “So you want to talk business?”

“First we ask that you gather your entire crew. We don’t need anyone sneaking around.”

“This is my entire crew,” Ben said.

“Lies. We know there’s another lifeform on board,” the pirate spat.

Ben was about to protest when footsteps behind him pounded down the hall. Rey skidded to a halt beside him. Her face was flushed but she was far from out of breath. Ben wanted to tell her she should get to safety but he had to wonder if he was better off facing the pirates down with her helping out.

“Present and accounted for!” she said cheerily, smiling at the pirates. “And who are you guys supposed to be?”

“Swordscar, of the Shelsha sector. And I am Bala-Tik.”

“Hmm, never heard of you.” She cocked her head to the side. Her comment made a couple of them scoff and sneer at her, but the lead pirate wasn’t swayed.

“So, now that we’re all here, let’s discuss business,” the lead pirate, Bala-Tik, said. “If you follow what we tell you to do, no one has to get hurt or killed.”

“You understand why I have difficulty believing that statement. How do I know you won’t take what you want and then have us shot or sold into slavery?” Ben stood a bit taller. For some reason that he didn’t know why, he felt safer with Rey by his side. As for the ‘weapon’ she had mentioned needing to get, Ben just assumed it was a blaster of some kind. He had no idea of what she was concealing under her sweater sleeve.

“Simple. Once we’ve finished arrangements you can send for a New Republic ship to come pick you up. That way if anything happens to you the authorities will be on high alert and come to your aide. And none of us want it to come to that.” Bala-Tik smiled.

“And what if I’d rather not make arrangements with you?” Ben challenged.

“I don’t think you want to do that, lad.”

Ben decided to try what had worked in his favor back on Ord Mantell.

“Maybe the fact that you’re dealing with the son of Han Solo changes matters. If anything were to happen to me, he would come for you. And he has powerful allies.”

The pirates’ eyes widened, then turned into cold glares.

 _Oops. Wrong thing to say,_ Ben thought.

“You said…Han Solo?” one of them sneered. “That lying, double-crossing, conniving—”

“ _Han Solo?!_ ” Ben startled at the delightful shriek that came from his passenger. Rey beamed up at him, as if she had forgotten about the pirates less than thirty feet down the hall. “How come you didn’t tell me that’s your dad?! I mean, I kind of figured it out already with the last name and all and you totally look a lot like him, but _still_. You really need to lead more conversations with that!”

“You know my father?” Ben asked the pirates. Meanwhile, Rey was giddy with excitement to the point that she could hardly hold still.

“Of course we do. He made a deal with us, to have a supply of Tandgor gems delivered to us in exchange for his own immunity from Swordscar raids. Then he sold the gems to Kanjiklub for double the price we had agreed to pay. He has spent the last several years in debt to us yet conveniently we haven’t been able to contact him.” Three of the pirates were already starting to reach for their weapons. “Perhaps taking _you_ with us will get his attention…”

“Wait! Just listen…my father had his criminal history pardoned by the New Republic when he became a war hero. They will send military forces after you and have you all killed or arrested.” Ben raised both hands, hoping he sounded as genuine as he really was. Pirates or not, he didn’t want them to be hunted down and killed if they didn’t have to be. Everyone deserved a chance.

“How can we trust a single word out of the mouth of a Solo?” Bala-Tik sneered. He made a small hand gesture to the crew and they all grabbed their weapons—mostly blaster rifles and pistols, but they were also armed with daggers, crossbows, and slugthrowers.

Ben glanced at Rey to see her reaction. She wasn’t fazed at all. In fact, she had the look of someone who had done this a hundred times to the point that she was almost _bored_. Was she dependable as a fighter, or was she overestimating herself?

The bigger question was, could Ben depend on his own skill with a blaster to get them out of this or would he have to let down a fraction of the wall he had built around himself from the Force? Was now the time to reach out and call on the power within him he had kept down for all these years?

Ben was scared. Not necessarily of the pirates, although he did fear what they were capable of. He felt much more scared of what could happen if he opened up his own internal gates and let the Force flow through him again. The sensation alone would be overwhelming—like being hit by a gigantic tidal wave from the inside out. He did not trust if he could sever himself off from the Force when it was over, or if he would even want to. And the shadow from his nightmares was always there, reminding him of what coursed through his blood, what he could become.

But…did he have a choice? If he didn’t do this, would Rey and the droids be killed?

“First of all!” Rey snapped, “I have a name and it’s _Rey_. And second, you’re not taking him anywhere! He’s my ride home and I haven’t even gotten the chance to ask him about his old man yet.”

“Shut up! Take Solo and kill the girl.”

Ben quickly reached for his blaster and was about to warn Rey to take cover…

When he saw something from the corner of his vision that he had never expected to see in his lifetime. And he heard a sound he had not heard in almost a decade, not since he had been training with his uncle at the new Jedi Temple.

~

“I _said_ …” she said, waving the beam of light that reflected red in her eyes, “my _name_ is Rey.”

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Ben drew his blaster, and in the same moment, allowed the Force to reach out to him. He shuddered. He was hit with a sudden wave of energy, a potential for strength and speed in his body beyond its biological capabilities, the power to break every bone in every one of the pirates’ bodies without breaking a single sweat, the ability to shoot them all right between the eyes before they even realized what he was doing. He was struck with a rush of hyperawareness of his surroundings, and he could hear everything down to the blood coursing through the veins of every sentient in the room and the light scratches of oily skin on metal as weapons were drawn, and he could see the laser bolts heading for him before they were fired, striking his shoulder and legs so he was injured but not killed, and he saw the droids taking hit after hit until they were no more than burning scrap pile.

He had learned how to harness this power years ago, of course. Ben understood the Force, if only to the level an apprentice should, and he had experience in knowing how to control it.

But after shutting himself away from it for so long, it always hit him with full force. Always gave him a rush, always too much at once.

With one hand, he extended his blaster out until he had it aimed at the pirates. The other, he reached out with until that power within him was channeled out all the way to his fingertips, like electricity. He was shaking with it, this connection to an omnipresent, uncontainable presence that he now harnessed and only had a meager understanding of. It felt like ice cold water and burning flames at the same time, but on a much deeper level than his own body. He was bonded with every lifeform in the room and he was about to take advantage of that bond. But at this point, he had no choice.

Ben gasped for air. In the next split second, he watched as the pirates were all knocked backward by the power trickling from his hand. Four were slammed hard into the elevator doors, and three more went farther back until gravity took over and they hit the floor. The impact was enough to make two lose consciousness, while the rest had the wind knocked out of them. It was not nearly the Force push Ben knew he was capable of if he focused, but it was enough to at least give him and Rey a big head start in the fight.

When he pulled his hand away, Rey was staring up at him with a huge look of shock all over her face. Whatever she had been expecting him to do, it wasn’t that.

“You…you can…” She closed her mouth, then it hung open again. “You know the…”

“Rain check!” He aimed his blaster at the pirates. He pulled the trigger. It struck one of the pirates in the skull, right between the eyes.

Two, including the leader, opened fire from where they lay on the ground, still recovering from the attack. They shouted and cursed. Kate cried out in terror. Ben was able to dodge the blasts and take cover where the wall curved down the hall. His connection to the Force aided him in taking aim at the pirates. All he had to do was extend his arm and the Force connected him to them. He pulled the trigger again. Another pirate, killed instantly. Two down, five left.

He turned and looked at Rey. His gaze quickly locked on her lightsaber. More specifically, he was very interested to know how and why she had a _red_ lightsaber. Based on the stories his uncle told him, only the Sith carried those. But the last of the Sith had died with the destruction of the Second Death Star…right? If the Sith were extinct, how the hell did that explain Rey’s weapon? Perhaps, however unlikely, the Church of the Force had had one as an old artifact and gifted it to her—but even that explanation made no sense at all. The possibility that she was a Sith or Dark Side user of some sort was such a horrifying concept that Ben did not even let that occur to him. Not in the moment, at least.

 _Focus. Worry about that later_.

But that wasn’t even the half of what was about to surprise him. As he watched, Rey shifted her lightsaber to a horizontal angle. Suddenly, a saber ignited from the bottom as well. He was now looking at two identical red blades. That old familiar hum of the weapon was all he could hear in the room, even with the commotion of the band of pirates rushing to their feet.

Rey, meanwhile, still had that look of being bored. She twirled the double-edged saber in her right hand, spinning it so it formed a circle in front of her. The blaster fire from the pirates might as well have been hitting a ray shield. She knew how to move the weapon so perfectly that it protected her from the attack.

Ben was caught in a trance, staring at her. He was both mesmerized and terrified.

 _Who the hell_ is _this girl?_ he had to wonder. Where had she come from? How much did she know the Force? Did she know the Dark Side? Could he even trust that she wouldn’t have a betrayal up her sleeve like his last passengers?

Bala-Tik shouted at his men,

“Kill her! _Shoot her_!”

“Now is that any way to treat a lady?” Rey made a kissy face at them. Then she ran towards them.

Ben, startled out of his trance, moved out from cover to open fire again, only to duck down again as laser bolts missed him by mere inches. He heard Rey slashing her saber. She deflected two more blasts and killed one of the pirates. It gave him enough time to move out and shoot again. This time, he hit Bala-Tik in the chest. The last of the pirates opened fire at her, but she was deflecting every shot.

He heard shrieks of pain and fear, the whirring of her saber…and then there was silence. He ran towards her, staring at the dead bodies on the floor. Some had been stabbed through the chest. Others had been cut to pieces. He felt nauseous at the gruesome sight. She looked up at him, a bit of sweat beading her forehead. Then, with a small smile one could almost read as ‘shy,’ she deactivated the red lightsaber. He felt numb, no—in shock of what he had witnessed.

“Rey…what…” He had a dozen questions for her but they were all getting stuck on his tongue like wet sand.

“Come on, let’s kill the rest of them!” Rey opened the door to the elevator and ran in.

Ben, having no other choice, followed her.

~

Once in the elevator, Ben shut the doors and turned to face her.

“Rey, where did—”

“Where did you learn to do that?” Rey smiled up at him. He looked stunned by what had happened, but Rey was beside herself with excitement. All this time, he had had that potential for power bottled up inside him. All this time, the son of Han Solo could wield the Force. If someone had told Rey this was the person she’d be getting a ride from, she would have dismissed it as insanity. “How come you didn’t tell me you know the Force?”

“It’s not exactly something I want everyone to know.” He frowned. “I…only use it as a last resort.”

“I felt it, in the room. I felt how strong you are!” She couldn’t stop smiling. It had been such an incredible sensation, Rey felt she could get drunk on that alone. The feeling of so much power channeled so close to her…The only time Rey remembered feeling something like that was when her master allowed her to witness his own displays of power. But even then, he had never had official training, and what he could do was limited what with his age and deformities. This power…this felt different. It was young, new, raw…and untamed. She loved it.

One thing was for certain, this man was very strong in the Force. Stronger than he even realized. Rey had felt what he could do, and it was much more than just knocking a group of men down. If he really wanted, and knew how, he could have shattered their spines. Exploded their hearts. Made their ship collapse in on itself. With training, he could do all of it…and more.

And then she had an idea.

_If I brought him to Master Snoke…he would be so proud of me. Master could train Captain Solo in the Dark Side. Master would thank me and maybe even make me leader of the First Order right on the spot._

“It’s not like that. I only use it a little…” Ben looked at her. His face was flushed, his eyes rushing with emotion. He was scared, but also excited. Of what? His power, or hers, or both?

“But why?” She stepped closer to him. “Why are you so afraid of what you can do? I _felt_ it. You’re missing the whole point.”

“You don’t know me…” He took a step back. His ankles brushed the back wall of the elevator.

Rey took in a breath. That warmth in her lower stomach was coming back to her now. She felt her gaze lingering on him. She had been eyeing him like this ever since they first crossed paths on Jakku—but now, after the heat of battle and forced to be in such close proximity, it was hitting her full force. She was intentionally looking at him in a new light, and found herself admiring his dark eyes and long black hair, his soft lips, the freckles and beauty marks on his face, his broad shoulders.

“I know enough to know you’re really throwing away a lot of potential.” Her smile faded.

“What, like the Dark Side?” Ben’s harsh tone took her aback slightly. He gestured down to the lightsaber she had clipped back to her belt. “Where did you get that lightsaber?”

“It was red when I found it.” She cocked her head at him, knowing he wasn’t going to fall for such a silly lie. But it was fun playing with him like that. “Why? Does that bother you?”

“Yes, actually. It does.” His expression turned to more of a glare. But when she took another step, now close enough to smell his leather jacket, he didn’t try to move away. The way he was looking at her, Rey could see him eyeing the details about her the way she was doing with him. But he was torn. Conflicted. “I know the stories about the Sith. Is that what you are?”

“Sith aren’t always the bad guys in the stories. Sometimes the Jedi were pretty naughty.”

“Well, sure, I guess, but—”

“Do you think I’m a bad girl?” Rey leaned up to him. “You think I’ll stab you in the back just because my weapon is red-colored?”

“Am I wrong to think that?”

“I _need_ you. I can’t get to Ilum without you.” She smiled.

He inhaled deeply, gazing down at her.

“And when we get there…what will you do with me?”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, if that’s what you mean. I could show you all kinds of things.” She bit her bottom lip. “I can show you how to use that power. Oh, you wouldn’t need much training at all. You’d be—”

“I _don’t_ want training,” Ben hissed.

“Come on, Captain. Don’t be afraid of the Force. Don’t be afraid of your potential.” She leaned up to her tiptoes, lowering her voice to a whisper. “Just let it in…”

His body gave a slight shiver. The ends of his soft dark locks tickled the tip of her nose. Their eyes met and he whispered back.

“You didn’t answer my question. Are you a Sith?”

“Yes. Does that scare you?” When he gave a small nod, she smiled softly and licked her lips. “Don’t be. I can be a good girl, too.”

“Rey…”

“Come on. Show me what you’re really capable of.” She backed up and hit the switch, and the elevator door opened, revealing the docking tube that led to the pirate’s ship. “Show me, Ben Solo.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely horny on main chapter incoming, as well as gays just being gays (I really love Reylo, i really really REALLY love trans Reylo).  
> thank you again to everyone reading so far, hope you like!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -brief cult and slavery stuff

_Keren, Naboo - Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

The Tico sisters watched the astromech droid as he rested in sleep mode. They were huddled beside each other, sharing a blanket and a mattress and trying to keep warm. BB-8 had made himself cozy in the other corner of the room, on top of a ratty blanket.

Rose couldn’t complain, however. Although this was a step down from the D’Qar base in regards to quality, it wasn’t so bad. She had a comfortable place to sleep, and hot food, and most importantly she had her sister beside her. What else could Rose want?

“So this is the little droid under our protection,” Paige said quietly. She had rendezvoused with the survivors from D’Qar and helped escort their ship to Naboo. Now they had been here for a little over 24 hours, after Resistance High Command was able to get the survivors to a city called Keren. It was the planet’s most important trading city, with a large mercantile district and many buyers and sellers coming and going from the nearby spaceport. At the same time, Keren’s outskirts had many underground tunnels and neighborhoods left abandoned as the city prospered in its other district. Which meant there were plenty of old houses, apartment buildings, and warehouses going unused.

Rose and Paige’s new place of residence was the back of a small house. Where there once had been furniture and decoration, they now stored medical supplies and food rations, using crates as makeshift chairs and tables. The two sisters had finished their supper and now were trying to find a way to warm up and pass the time. It would be nightfall soon on Naboo. Rose wanted to go to one of the empty lots where grass, flowers, and even a few feral tusk cats could be seen. Maybe she and Paige could catch glow bugs.

“Yep, that’s right.” Rose hugged her knees. “I’m responsible for anything that happens to him until High Command is able to get here.”

“And that could take a while,” Paige finished.

“Right…it could take a while.” Rose was nervous. She didn’t know if she could protect this droid until help arrived. She was just a maintenance worker so it wasn’t like updates from High Command were ever sent her way. Up until yesterday, she just followed orders by fixing things and staying out of trouble. Now, thanks to Commander Dameron, her entire role in the Resistance had drastically changed. Now, she was no longer just the kid sister of Paige Tico and the girl who could fix hangar doors and droids. Instead, she had been assigned to ensure that Dameron’s droid—and whatever important information it held—would be safely delivered to General Organa. She had suddenly become the person everyone on D’Qar fought in defense of.

Her sister must have sensed her distress; Rose felt Paige’s arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer.

“What’s wrong?” Paige asked softly.

“I just don’t get it. Why was I chosen?”

“Commander Dameron wasn’t an idiot. He would have picked you for a good reason. You’re real good at repairs and fixing things, so maybe that’s why he had a feeling the droid would be safe with you.”

“Well, at least it’s out of my hands once High Command gets here.” Rose sighed. “Way too much pressure for my taste.”

“Well I can understand that.” Paige laughed. “Finish your hot chocolate before it gets cold.”

Rose nodded and sipped her beverage. It was already lukewarm but she didn’t want it to go to waste; chocolate gave energy and she would need it.

A few minutes later, one of the other troopers they shared the house with entered in. Snap Wexley sat on the floor, setting his helmet beside him. His mattress was in the other room along with his own collection of spare parts he saved to work on his X-wing.

Snap hadn’t been himself since D’Qar. Rose could tell he was deeply troubled. Normally Snap was always there to offer his own sarcastic remark or a way to help his friends find a way to laugh through even the direst situation. Now he had nothing to say. He just sat down and stared at the floor, looking lost.

“Hey, Temmin,” Paige said softly. “Did you get something to eat?”

He nodded slightly.

Paige looked at him with deep sympathy. Rose glanced between the two pilots, realizing something was going on that went right over her head. She knew all the latest drama and gossip with the other maintenance workers, but the pilots were a whole other category.

“Hey, Snap…I’m sorry about what happened. I know you and Poe were close,” said Paige.

“I never even got to tell him I was in love with him.” Snap sighed.

Rose glanced up from her nearly-finished hot chocolate. She had known Commander Dameron was gay—but to be fair, at this point everyone in the Resistance probably knew—but Snap was a new one for her. She looked at him curiously.

“Wait, you’re gay too?” Rose asked, then blushed deeply with embarrassment. She had definitely not intended to come off as that brash. She had known about her bisexuality for years so she was always interested in meeting someone else like her.

“Um, yes? What part of me ever gave you the idea that I was _not_ gay?” Snap blinked at her. He didn’t seem insulted or angry, just plain confused.

“I hardly ever see you guys, so it’s not like I have a…sorry.” Rose blushed deeply.

Snap gave her a small, albeit tired smile. It was a good smile.

“It’s okay. I’m just giving you a hard time.” Snap leaned back and glanced over where BB-8 was still in sleep mode. “I just hope the data that little guy is carrying will be worth all of this.”

“It will,” Paige interjected. “I know it will. It has to be.”

Rose knew why her sister said that. Because if it wasn’t, and the information turned out to be futile, then all those deaths and the loss of D’Qar would have been for nothing. And none of them could let that happen.

~

_The Sith Citadel, Exegol, -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Enric Pryde remembered that fateful day when the Empire surrendered.

After the death of Grand Moff Tarkin, he had been promoted to fill in that role. Second only to Lord Vader, he had been the Emperor’s closest advisor. However, Pryde’s knowledge of the Emperor’s true Sith identity meant one vital difference between he and Tarkin’s role. Whereas Tarkin had been a noted public figure, Pryde’s role was kept in the shadows. He worked behind the scenes, his presence only known to a trusted few. He had also been responsible for preserving some of the Emperor’s most intimate secrets, such as the inventory of Sith artifacts at the Imperial Palace as well as the location of ancient Sith temples. That had been Pryde’s job ever since he was a young man on Naboo, when he met the then-Senator for the first time. In those days, Pryde had been fascinated with the ways of the Sith, of studying that ancient religion. His privileged upbringing from the Alsakan system gained him access to all sorts of learning opportunities in the finest schoolings Naboo had to offer, and so he studied the Sith while also working on his career as an intergalactic ambassador. At the same time, Pryde’s own hatred and distrust for the Jedi Order fueled his interest with the Sith. Then, one day, Senator Palpatine met young Pryde while he was working on Naboo as an assistant to a diplomatic representative. Palpatine must have seen a great potential in the ambassador, for he entrusted Pryde to be one of his trusted few to know the truth about his Sith identity. For all those years, Pryde served the Sith Lord first in political aspects, then in the military with the rise of the Empire. When the time came, Pryde knew his dedication to the Sith would not go to waste.

Then, in the remaining months of the war, Pryde worked effortlessly to maintain what remained of Sidious’ empire, only to watch as weakling puppets signed an unconditional surrender. After that, Pryde and the selected leaders still alive fled to the Unknown Regions to find those still loyal to the Sith, and willing to help restore the Empire’s glory. There, the alliance between Imperial survivors and the Sith Eternal was born.

Now, Pryde found himself caught between the two worlds—that of a military leader and a Sith loyalist. A member of the First Order High Command, tasked with taking over all the major systems until the New Republic was abolished…and that of one devoted to Sith teachings and ensuring the cult on Exegol were kept up-to-date on the war effort. One day, those two worlds would no longer have to be separated. But until such time, he had to keep Exegol a secret from all but his most trusted in the First Order.

He approached Master Snoke, who was sitting on the obsidian throne in his chambers. The chambers were dimly lit, and consequently hid most of the disfiguration on his face. Two cult slaves knelt on either side of his throne—they were deathly thin, as slaves were only fed just enough to keep them alive and functioning, and they wore dirty rags for clothes. They lowered their heads so they stared at the floor. One held up a stainless steel plate filled with Kukuia nuts and some sort of large red berry slathered with sweet cream. The other held up a small bowl in which the nut shells were being disposed after they were cracked.

As Pryde approached, Snoke noticed him and waved off the two slaves with a small gesture of his hand. They scurried, like frightened rats, into the back hallway behind the room.

“Master Snoke, you asked for me?” Pryde asked.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” Snoke answered.

“Of course. What can I do for you?” Even though Snoke was not a Sith, he was the leader keeping the Sith ideals alive in the New Republic era. Not to mention his cult had helped tremendously with building the First Order. The two of them, in a sense, were the same—leaders devoted to the Sith cause while not being Sith themselves, going about it in somewhat different directions. Pryde owed his man a great deal of respect, and at the least, they had been strong allies these past thirty years.

“It is time to make use of my other servants. What is your last contact with them?”

“Ren is stationed at the Sith temple on Malachor, and Ap’lek is clearing local lifeforms from the Citadel on the Byss system.”

“Good. Excellent. Send Ren to the D’Qar system to track where the survivors evacuated to. We need to crush the Resistance while they are still weakened.”

“So it’s time, then? For the galaxy to meet our Knights?” Pryde tried to hold back a smile. But this was the moment he had been waiting for almost three decades. He could hardly breathe from the excitement. At last, after the tireless work to keep their efforts a secret from the galaxy, years of watching the New Republic smile and pretend their old ideas of peace were restored…

“Yes, General. It is time.”

~

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

“I’m not…” Ben looked at her. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Well, you have to come with me anyway.” Rey smiled and began walking down the docking tube. “So what’s first? Get rid of the pirates or disable the tractor beam?”

He followed her towards the pirate ship, watching her warily. She was a _Sith_. Any moment now she could turn on him and kill him like she killed those pirates. And she didn’t have any visible remorse for that either, no moment of realization that she had taken sentient life in such a brutal manner. So it was safe to assume she could kill him just as easily.

But at the same time…something told Ben she wouldn’t. In truth, she would have killed him long ago if she wanted to.

“Why don’t we split up? Get us out of here faster that way. And this ship’s blueprints are somewhat similar to mine so I will find the power source no trouble.”

“Oooh, even better! I volunteer to kill the pirates.” She raised her hand like they were taking roll call.

Ben sighed. He supposed he had no choice but to indulge her bloodlust for the time being.

“Fine. Stay here so no more of them can board my ship. I’ll disable the tractor beam and meet you back here.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.” She gave him a mock salute, which he took to be a double meaning of she was going to follow his orders, but that didn’t mean he was in command here.

Ben thought quickly. A ship of this size would have its tractor beam energized by a power generator. All he had to do was locate the power source and shut it down. He had studied more than enough ship blueprints over the years to have an idea of where he needed to go. Carefully, moving as quietly as he could, Ben made this way down dimly lit corridors, avoiding rooms where he heard commotion from the remaining crew. Some of them must have been ordered to stay on the ship because Ben could hear them playing card games and chatting. Others must have been alerted by the fight from earlier, since they were grabbing weapons and heading back to the docking tube. He had no doubt Rey would take care of them.

In a handful of minutes, Ben was able to locate one of the ship’s power distribution shafts. No one was around; they must be occupied with the Sith girl. Ben extended the bridge and made his way across, then found himself inside the terminal. As he had expected, part of the ship’s power generator included a control unit for the tractor beam. He double checked his surroundings just in case there was going to be an ambush. Still, no pirates were in sight.

As he got to work shutting down the generator, his mind raced. Rey had been telling him lie after lie, but one thing was true—he was her only way to Ilum. If she could fly _Odysseus_ there on her own, she would have left him for dead way back on Jakku.

She needed him. That meant he had the few hours of their trip remaining to figure out what to do. A few hours to try to find out what exactly was waiting for them on Ilum.

A few hours to convince a Sith not to kill him.

 _I am so screwed,_ he thought.

His options were clear. He could try to get out, signal for help, or go along with it. There was no chance he’d beat Rey in a fight so that was out of the question. If he asked the New Republic or the Resistance for help she might find out, or help might not even get there in time.

So that left taking the Sith girl to the Ilum system and hoping he’d survive whatever happened next. That didn’t even take into account what she was looking for on Ilum. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

~

Rey, meanwhile, couldn’t have been in a better mood.

It didn’t take long for the next wave of pirates to come after her. When she heard them approaching, Rey opted to try a sneak attack and hid herself along the long pipes several feet off the ground. When they neared the docking tube, she jumped down right into the middle of them and began cutting and slashing.

The killing part of it was easy enough. Their techniques were sloppy, unpolished. Rey had dealt with far more worthy opponents in her training on Exegol. A couple of them managed to get some bumps and bruises on her during the attack but her adrenaline meant she didn’t even feel it. But it wasn’t slaughtering pirates that lifted her spirits

_I. Am. On. A. Ship. With. Han. Solo’s. Son._

It was the perfect dream come true. That poster she bought of Han Solo entered her life right along when the first waves of puberty began to hit and she was exploring her own sexual feelings. So yes, she admitted it; he was her first major crush. The legendary smuggler who had tangled with the Hutts, Black Sun, and even the Empire. Of course when Rey did the math she figured Han was way too old for her these days, so getting his son was the next best thing. The fact that Ben was transitioning just like her was just a giant wasaka berry on top.

She already had a billion questions for him. Hopefully she could get them all answered by the time they arrived on Starkiller.

By the time Captain Solo finally showed up, almost half an hour had gone by. Rey was surrounded by the bodies of the pirates and thinking about how bad this ship would start to smell in a few days. She blew him a raspberry as he approached her.

“Took you long enough.”

“Sorry. Power generator is down, so we can get out of here now.” He glanced at the corpses around them, looking a bit ill but not surprised.

“You don’t want to ransack their ship first? Search for any goodies?”

“Of course I don’t. I’m not like them.” His gazes still drifted to the corpses on the floor.

“Really? So you’re not a smuggler or a pirate or anything like that? Interesting.”

“Come on, let’s just get out of here. Their buddies will find their ship at some point anyway.”

She walked behind him, chewing on her lip. It took all of Rey’s self-control not to bombard him with all her questions until they were back in hyperspace. After they returned to his ship, Ben worked on removing the docking tube while Rey reunited with his two droids. The orange and gray astromech acted as if the whole fight with the pirates had overwhelmed her, spinning around in a tight circle and turning her dome head around in circles. The ID9 Seeker droid however was completely calm. Rey approached them with a small smile, putting away her lightsaber.

“So question…how long until we can get back into hyperspace?”

“Hmm, well, as soon as we are out of range of the pirate ship we should be able to. I can begin getting the systems back online right away and we’ll be ready to go in less than a few minutes.”

“Great! I’ll be in the cockpit.”

She got there several minutes early and made herself comfy on the dashboard, admiring the buttons and lights around her. When the captain returned, he didn’t look her in the eye. It was as if she wasn’t even in the room. Instead he focused solely on carefully steering _Odysseus_ away from the pirate ship to clear enough distance for the next jump to hyperspace. She watched him, waiting for him to look at her. Somehow, despite her growing impatience, she managed to leave him alone until they were launched back into hyperspace.

After that, Rey just couldn’t take it anymore and burst out,

“So what’s it like being Han Solo’s kid? How come you’re not a smuggler like him? Did he teach you to become a pilot?”

“Wait…you said you are a Sith. I thought they were long gone…” He sat back in his chair and looked up at her, eyes wide with a morbid sort of fascination. Rey had to wonder what a pilot like him thought of the Sith. Even with his connection to the Force, it was becoming more apparent to her that he was not a Jedi, Sith, or other trained Force user by any stretch of the term.

“Now, hang on,” Rey cut in. “I get to ask the questions and you get to answer. I don’t think you get how big of a deal this is to me.” She crossed her arms, looking down at him from where she sat on the dashboard. “I am a _big_ fan of your dad. So when I ask you a question, I want an answer. Got it?”

When she finished her command, she sucked in a deep breath. Now being the one in charge, giving orders and having control… _that_ felt different. She had never had that role before. She was used to being bossed around by her Master, the Sith Eternal, and General Pryde. But now…it was like getting a taste of what it would be like to be Empress one day. A sample of power and having someone under her doing what they were told. It felt good. It felt energizing. And it made her start to feel warm in all the right places. Han Solo’s boy, at her obedience…this was a literal fever dream come to life.

Ben’s expression changed slightly as well. He was looking her up and down. And Rey realized he was starting to notice the more intimate details about her body and mannerisms. He licked his lips. Now she realized why he had been ignoring her earlier. Because it seemed once he looked at her, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“I get that part. But how the hell are you a Sith? Who trained you?” he asked softly.

He started to stand up, probably so he would be at higher eye level. Rey responded quickly and launched her feet up. She planted her boots firmly on his chest, shoving him back into the chair and pinning him there. Only the slightest bit of pressure not so he was in pain but so he couldn’t get up. Once Ben had recovered from the brief shock of the moment his eyes widened, and he seemed to fully accept that he was no match for her. And then she saw the heat rushing to his cheeks, even feeling his heart pounding harder.

Did he…was he enjoying this as much as she was?

“No, no. You don’t get to ask questions right now. And you’d probably just get bored anyway.” Rey kept her feet braced against his chest and crossed her arms.

“I don’t think it’s possible be bored around you.”

She frowned at him and pouted in confusion. Was that supposed to be a compliment? He didn’t look any less confused than her so he was probably asking himself the very same thing.

“So anyway!” Rey smiled. “Speaking of questions…”

“Um.” He tried to adjust in his chair, but couldn’t really move. “I know my dad, if that’s what you mean. He, uh…he helped raise me. When I was born he was trying to leave his smuggling life behind, but when I was grown up he started going back to his old ways.”

“So he’s still alive? You need to get me to meet him someday.” _Assuming Snoke doesn’t want Ben Solo dead in a few hours,_ Rey thought with a slight sulk. More and more, the thought of Ben Solo having to die once they reached Starkiller Base bummed her out. She didn’t want this adventure to end in just getting rid of him.

“I—I can certainly try.”

“How did he take you being, you know….”

“Being what? Oh…” His cheeks flushed even more and he squirmed underneath her. Rey’s heart skipped a beat. “He didn’t understand it for a long time. He wanted me to be ‘Daddy’s girl’ and all. He still struggles with it, but not as much as he used to. But he…he didn’t see it coming when I told him.”

“Oh…damn, that’s disappointing. I was imagining I’d get to meet him and he would say I’m super pretty and everything but now I wonder how he’d feel about me…” She sighed. “Well, tell me more about you. How did you find out? How did you come out? What…what’s it been like?”

“Um…I don’t know if I can—”

“Please? You’re the first…the first person I’ve met who’s just like me.” She meant that, and she hoped she got that much across to him. She hoped he didn’t just see the fact that she was a Sith-in-training, and just saw her for the special thing they had in common.

Ben shifted in his chair as much as he was able to.

“Well, I guess my uncle helped me kind of figure out what was going on with me. He isn’t my biological uncle, though…he’s been my dad’s friend for a long time so I just call him my honorary uncle. Anyway, he’s been involved in the community and social groups like that for many years, and he’s never hidden his pansexuality.” The more he talked to her, the more comfortable he seemed to be, like it was a distraction from the fact that she had him pinned to the chair. Rey listened intently, soaking in his story like a dry sponge, wanting to process every single word. It took all her self-control to contain her excitement at finally, _finally_ hearing the story of someone like her. “So I guess, from the time I was born, my honorary uncle was always there to educate me on that. To tell me that it’s okay to be a little different and that there are many labels and words out there to describe those feelings. By the time I was about ten or eleven I realized what I was feeling inside and I remembered the things my uncle had talked with me about. You know, about gender identity and stuff. I talked with him about it and he provided enough resources for me and my parents. We all figured it out pretty quickly.”

“What about your mom, then? You know who she is, right? Or did your dad get her pregnant then she dumped in your dad’s arms nine months later?”

“What? No!” He scowled, clearly offended. “She raised me too. My parents fell in love…they were married.”

“Um, so that’s a lie. I’ve never heard of him getting married! Han Solo would never settle down. Totally out of character.”

“They kept it a secret. The wedding ceremony was private.”

“Why?” She frowned. Her feet slipped a bit down his chest.

“To prevent situations just like this one from happening. I don’t know…”

“And yet you go around using the same last name. You really didn’t think that one through, did you, Captain Solo?” Rey stuck out her tongue at him. No, she was never going to get tired of calling him that.

“It’s—it’s complicated, okay?” He blushed.

“Sure it is. So your mom, how did she take you coming out then?”

“She was all right with it. I think she was confused at first, but once she educated herself it wasn’t hard for her. She got me set up with a doctor and everything. Made sure I got regular blood tests. What…what about you?”

“Me? Oh, mine isn’t like yours at all. Not really, I mean.” Rey wasn’t prepared to share this part of her story just yet, but he had put her on the spotlight. So before she realized it she found herself opening up to him. Her feet slid further down his chest. “I don’t think my parents ever liked it at all. I had to get hormones off the black market which was really scary and made me super sick a few times but it’s totally worth it.”

“I’m sorry,” Ben said softly.

She gazed at him before saying what she had been wanting to for a while now. And now hearing his story of coming out only solidified it in her mind.

“You know, between your daddy’s flying skills, your mama’s supporting you, and your Force power, you got a lot going for you.”

Ben visibly bristled at that, like she had slapped him. Was she not the first one to bring this up to him? Rey used the silence as an opportunity to keep going. She moved her feet down to rest on the top of his thighs, then pushed out so they were spread slightly against the chair. Ben swallowed hard. Rey liked seeing him this way. It was energizing.

“What you did back there…you don’t see that every day. You could do whatever you wanted, and no one could stop you. And to think if you had proper training to hone that skill…I don’t know, Captain. You’re throwing it all away. You must be crazy.”

He looked up at her and clenched his jaw, locks of his dark hair falling over his eyes.

“Maybe I am a little. Or maybe…it’s that I don’t want to go crazy on power.”

“Is that what you think of me? That I’m crazy?” She glared at him for a few seconds, then burst into a laugh before his blood would completely freeze over. “It’s okay, I’m just kidding! I know I’m crazy.”

“Rey, I don’t know what you think of me, but I’m not a Force user. Just because I’m connected to it doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it. Except when I have no other choice of course.”

“What if you showed me because I asked you very nicely?” Rey leaned forward, bracing her palms on the dashboard. “Come on, if the power makes you crazy, so what?”

“It’s not that simple…” He gazed up at her.

Rey curled her toes in her boots, feeling his leg muscles quiver slightly. She moved closer to him, realizing now that very intimate parts of them were not that far from each other, and that if she scooted her butt forward she would land in his lap with her legs behind him. It wouldn’t be so hard to do, and it would feel so good…

And once again, one of the droids killed the moment. Delta hovered into the cockpit. Ben was about to stand up but all Rey had to go was give him another quick glare before he realized he shouldn’t get out of the chair anytime soon.

“Captain, it appears we are approaching the Ilum system.”

“Already? Seems like it’s closer than I remember. Must have calculated wrong.”

“I think you did fine,” Rey said.

Ben activated a few controls and pulled the ship out of hyperspace. Sure enough, the planet came into view…or at least, what used to be a planet. Rey knew he would have no idea what was coming and she grinned with excitement. He was going to be so surprised, and she had made the best surprise for him ever.

“Hey, uh…Rey?”

“Yes, Captain?” She looked at him. He looked like he had been punched in the stomach.

“What…what am I looking at?” he asked numbly.

“Ilum! Just the planet I wanted to go to. And now we’re here!”

Ben turned to her. She couldn’t tell if that was fear, disgust, or betrayal in his expression.

“That’s no fucking planet.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -mentions of torture and aftermath of torture; intense interrogation

_Ilum, aka ‘Starkiller Base’ -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Ben Solo tried to take in exactly what he was seeing.

Ilum _mostly_ looked the same as when he was here last…except for that huge trench cutting into the center of the planet. It stood out so sharply against the rest of the snowy forest surface, a crude violation of the planet’s natural form. From this distance, he could also see what appeared to be some sort of giant firing shaft crafted inside the trench—and ‘giant’ did not begin to describe it. He could fit thousands of ships his size inside it. The cold planet loomed through the viewport, and the firing shaft glowed a slight red as it seemed to almost look at them like a giant, mechanical eye. Ben forced himself to breathe, to reconcile the truth hitting him full force.

“Rey…” He turned to the strange Sith who had been messing with his head ever since they met on Jakku, “What _is_ that?”

“I’ll show you!” Her tone was way too enthusiastic for his taste. In any other context it would sound like she was dragging him to a hangar bay to show him the custom paint job she had done on a speeder and wanted to show it off. In this context, it sent chills up his spine.

All those stories she told him, all that talk about the Force and where she came from…it was all a lie.

Gods, how could he have been so stupid? How did he fall for her whole act? Was he just that easily swayed because he met a pretty girl in need of help? Was it that easy for him to trust someone just because they found a special thing in common? His father was right; Ben assumed too much good of people. He had assumed that of Rey, and now he was about to really pay for it.

“No…no, I…” He reached for the autopilot override switch. Maybe he could jump into lightspeed before it was too late, he told himself, even while knowing that was a false hope.

A split second before he could shut off autopilot, he felt cold, sharp metal against the side of his head. Rey pressed the blade emitter of her saber hard enough to bruise, her thumb hovering just over the length adjust button.

He froze, and he held very still. Already imagining that red blade cutting into his head. He wouldn’t even know it happened. His death would be instantaneous.

“Get me down there, Captain.”

“You tricked me,” he spat.

“Uh, yeah. Duh.”

“What is this…? It’s a planet, but it’s—”

“New weapon. Old Death Star tech, but so much bigger. And way cooler.”

Her words took a moment to register. A planet had been converted to a Death Star-like weapon. With that size and level of power…a strong wave of nausea hit him. He did not understand this. He did not want to.

A transmission came through on the comm channel.

_“This is Lieutenant Dopheld Mitaka. You are an unidentified aircraft approaching the Ilum system without authorization. Identify yourselves and provide your clearance code immediately or you will be considered a trespasser and dealt with as such.”_

“Um…” Ben looked at Rey worriedly.

Instead, she just rolled her eyes and leaned over him to reach the dashboard. She braced half her weight on him, one knee digging into his lap as she punched in the code with her free hand. Ben was still in so much shock from the revelation that he just looked at her in this close proximity, eyes locked on the freckles on the back of her neck, taking in the smell of plom bloom lotion on her skin. This girl seemed to have very little sense of basic etiquette.

When she was done, she sat back and repositioned the deactivated saber against the side of his head.

“That’s a super special code. Only I get to use that one,” she explained.

“Wait a minute.” Ben tried to piece this whole mess together in his mind. “So _who_ is down—”

She shushed him and dug the lightsaber into his temple again. He winced and turned to face the viewport again. Less than ten seconds later, a message came through in reply to the clearance code.

 _“You are cleared to land. Please direct your course to Docking Area 723 in Precinct T-14.”_ A second message was sent, this time a navigational beacon directing them to the location provided. Ben locked the destination in and began to descend closer in. He felt a shudder ahead of them like some sort of shield was being temporarily deactivated, allowing them passage.

“Is the whole planet protected…?” he asked.

“You got it! No ship going slower than lightspeed is gonna get in, unless they let us in from the surface, obviously, but you figured that out.”

His hands shook as the _Odysseus_ began to enter the planet’s atmosphere. Rey kept her lightsaber pressed against his head, a constant reminder that instant death was always a split second away. Her eyes bore into him, watching his every move. She was going to see whatever he tried before he did it; she was that in-tune with the Force. Nothing he could attempt to escape would catch her off guard.

 _As soon as this ship touches this planet, I’m going to die,_ Ben thought.

He realized he was more terrified than he had been his whole life. Not merely for his life, however; he had faced the strong probability of death many times and it did not fill him with the fear he felt now. This was much bigger than him.

A new weapon…where had it come from? How did they gain access to use Death Star tech? How were they able to pull this off without the rest of the galaxy finding out? Why and how did a girl like Rey even know this place existed?

But the truth was that this young Sith woman knew about this place. The Sith had survived. Ben remembered Luke’s teachings from his own experience facing Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader. That coupled with the old Jedi texts offered history that went generations back. But Ben hadn’t read those in almost ten years. All this time, he had thought the Sith were ended forever with the Second Death Star’s destruction. And sure, there would always be people out in the galaxy who used the Dark Side, but never a group with the power and evil the Sith Lords held. At least, that was what Ben had believed up until now. If Rey truly was a Sith—and her actions thus far had proven that without a doubt—then Ben’s inevitable death was the least of his worries.

“All of that stuff about being my dad’s biggest fan was a lie wasn’t it?” he hissed. “And you lied about being on estrogen too. You were just trying to get me to like you.”

“What? No! I…I meant all of that.” Her grip on her saber weakened slightly. There was hurt in her eyes.

“I don’t believe you.” To think he had opened up to her. Told her about his family, his own father, even his transition and part of his coming out story. It was all for a lie. All to use him for her own evil plan.

“How come you don’t believe me?! I mean, sure, everything _else_ was a lie, but I really am a trans girl and I really am a fan. I swear it…” She squeezed her saber, looking at him like a wounded animal.

“No, I don’t believe a word of it. You faked it all just to get on my good side and win me over,” Ben spat angrily. Yet again, he had been duped, his compassion used against him.

“I am _not_ a fake! What am I supposed to do, whip my dick out to prove it? Ugh, just—land the ship!” Her saber pressed hard against his temple, sending sharp waves of pain through his skull.

Without another word, he initiated the landing sequence. Slowly the clouds parted, revealing vast forests and canyons covered in snow. He looked down at the ground as the seconds ticked by, and he began to make out the shapes of the trees and see the rock formations. The docking area on the beacon was several minutes away, meaning he had that much more time to wonder just how much he had fucked up. So far, Ilum was just as he remembered from years ago when he came here to find his own kyber crystal. He had left his lightsaber behind that day and he could only wonder what Luke had done with it, what would have happened if he decided to hold onto it.

“You know what? It’s fine. Do what you want with me. I’m not afraid of the Sith, or the Dark Side,” he said coldly, telling himself that at least part of that last sentence was true.

“You’d be an idiot not to be afraid,” Rey snapped.

Up ahead a large building, gray and dim and half-covered in snow, came into view and he could see the landing platform. No structures helped indicate who resided here, no flags or symbols visible from here. Ben felt like he was a man on death row looking at his own noose. But what else could he do? Even if he tried to crash the ship, taking them all down together, that depended on her not figuring it out beforehand or being able to stop him. Just by sitting next to her, Ben could sense how powerful she was in the Force. He didn’t even need to reference her slaughter of the pirates to confirm what he felt. All he could do was prepare.

“Can…can I ask just one thing?” he asked.

Rey nodded as the ship slowly began to touch down on the landing platform.

“Don’t disintegrate the droids. Delta is very dependable. Kate has made so much progress since I found her. They’re good droids.”

“Oh, uh…okay. Sure.” She blinked. Maybe she had been expecting him to beg for his life, rather than those of his droids. Ben knew better than to try. He couldn’t save himself, but at least Delta and Kate had a chance at survival.

The second the _Odysseus_ completed the landing sequence, he closed his eyes. This was it. This was how it ended.

He saw Rey wave her hand in front of his eyes for a moment, just before everything went black.

~

_That was too easy,_ thought Rey, as she looked at the pilot where he leaned back unconscious in his chair. He had taken the reveal of Starkiller Base better than she thought he would. Now he was her prisoner and she had to figure out how to convince Snoke it would be a waste to get rid of him.

She found the switch that lowered the _Odysseus’_ ramp and left the cockpit. As she walked to the main hold, Ben’s two droids rushed towards her. Delta’s red photoreceptor glowed with whatever droids would experience to be ‘rage’, and his tentacle-like limbs snapped their pincers at her like he planned to take her apart piece by piece. Rey recalled studying these droid models; they had electro-shock prods that could pack quite a punch. As much as she liked the idea of testing her skills on a droid, she didn’t have the time for that.

“You have taken our captain hostage. Prepare for the consequences,” the droid announced.

She used the Force to throw Delta against the wall. He hit hard and the photoreceptor went dark; he was damaged, but nothing that couldn’t be easily repaired.

As for the jittery astromech droid, K8 was coming after Rey like she intended to use her clunky body as her own weapon. Rey jumped out of the way and Force pushed K8 into a nearby closet, then shut the door. That would keep the droid occupied for a while.

With that, Rey turned to the main door and opened it. Even knowing beforehand that she was about to be greeted by a cold climate, that was not enough to prepare her. She had spent her first decade and a half on a desert planet, then on Exegol which was usually warm and dry. Starkiller Base was covered in snow. It felt like being dunked in a tub of ice water, which Rey had actually experienced in some sensory deprivation training sessions. And she had _hated_ it. She hated the cold. So much.

Her teeth chattered and she quickly hugged herself. As Rey treaded across the docking bay, an officer and a handful of Stormtroopers approached her. She gave them a small wave.

“Miss Rey, you’ve finally arrived. It is good to see you at your post for once.” General Enric Pryde looked at her with a slight grim smile. He was not happy to see her again. _Good_. “You took a bit longer than expected.”

“But I’m here, aren’t I? Here and ready to report. I just have to go get my stuff from that ship real quick.”

“And…whose ship is this?” He looked up at the _Odysseus_ , scanning it with a mixture of curiosity and indifference.

“Some…guy. He’s still in there, but he’s mine now.”

“I beg your pardon?” The General frowned, leather gloves creaking as he clenched his hands behind him.

“I brought him here and I was going to kill him initially but now I don’t want to, but it’s fine. I’m going to ask my master if I can keep him.”

“Ah…I see. And…what do you intend to do with a simple pilot?”

“Um, none of your business, General _Prude_.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

Before he could offer an equally savage pun on her name, she spun on her heel and ran back into the _Odysseus_. She grabbed her knapsack first, then rushed back to the cockpit. Ben still lay there; he would come to in an hour or so, she estimated. She scooped him up in her arms, then gave a slight “ _oof_!” when she realized she, in an almost literal sense, had bitten off more than she could chew. She was plenty strong enough to carry him on her own, but he was almost half a foot taller than her, and had quite a bit of bulk to him as well.

“Goddammit, why’d you have to be so big?” she grumbled.

After some struggling, some fumbling, and some bonking his head on the chair and the console and getting his legs caught on the chair, she managed to figure out how to carry him on her own out of the ship. She shivered again from the cold but held onto him. Snow fell on his face and hair and began to melt slowly against his skin.

And for the smallest moment, Rey had a feeling that bringing and keeping him against his will was…wrong. That she should have let him go. That he was right about her. But the moment went away as quickly as it came, and she kept walking.

Upon seeing who she had brought with her, General Pryde arched his eyebrow. He motioned for the troopers to take him, which Rey didn’t like but didn’t stop them from doing. As she watched, the Stormtroopers took Ben from her arms and more or less dragged him through the heavy blast doors to the Command Center.

“Now that you are here, your master will be expecting you to contact him. I would advise you go inside and get that done, Miss Rey.” There was only coldness in General Pryde’s eyes.

“Fine.” She clutched her knapsack a bit closer to her as she walked past him.

“As for the ship, it appears to be in good condition. Perhaps after we finish a thorough search we can put it to good use.”

She ignored his last statement and kept walking inside. She needed to talk to her master.

~

Rey entered the Command Center of Starkiller Base. Immediately, two guards were ready to escort her to her personal chambers. The interior was clean, with stark slate floors and walls, not a speck of dirt or dust to be seen anywhere. As she walked down the hallway she saw the vast interior of corridors, hallways, and atriums all connected in strategic ways.

She found herself walking a little taller, a little straighter. This place was very different than the Sith Citadel in Exegol. It was new and everything seemed so smooth and efficient. Not that the Citadel was a chaotic, filthy mess, but there was certainly a vast difference between a secret living space for an ancient cult versus a recently constructed superweapon of an advanced military operation. And not just that, but she was already being treated differently here. Guards stood in formation as she walked past and opened doors for her. No one looked right at her and just let her walk by without any disturbance.

She was no longer the girl that the entire cult could use whenever they wanted, the girl at everyone and anyone’s disposal. Here, she was in charge. She had a position of power. She loved it.

Once they reached her chambers, the guards shut the door behind her and stayed behind. Before contacting her master, Rey explored her new room. It was much bigger than her room in the Sith Citadel, but she could already see the evidence that Snoke had had some say in its design. The furniture was minimal, nothing but a flat bed, a chair, and a wardrobe. However she did appear to have a refresher of her own, so that was an improvement. In the wardrobe she discovered a new set out outfits had already been delivered. They weren’t the ideal clothes she wanted to wear, but they were pretty enough so they would do. Rey changed into a simple black gown and fixed up her hair into three buns. Now she was ready.

She sent her master a transmission to indicate she had arrived. She knelt in front of the holoprojector and waited. A few minutes later, his hologram appeared in front of her. At the sight of him Rey took a deep breath. She suddenly realized this was the longest she had been apart from him since she first arrived on Exegol. Over a standard week. It felt…strange.

“Master…” She bowed her head.

_“Rey, I am pleased to see you on Starkiller Base at last. You will stay here until I order you elsewhere.”_

“Yes, Master. What is my purpose here?”

 _“This superweapon will be the new symbol of the First Order. It will give the galaxy a taste of what is to come once you have risen to your full potential as a Sith. You will stay here to ensure the weapon is fulfilling its purpose. You will witness its power and demonstrate your abilities to the First Order. When the time comes, I will dispatch you to other reaches of the Galaxy to crush the New Republic.”_ He finished with a slight smile.

Rey grinned. At last, she was finally getting what she wanted. Her own power, her own say in how the Sith would make their comeback. The late Sith and Emperor of the galaxy would be avenged.

“Understood, Master,” she said, shaking with excitement.

 _“There is more, my sweet,”_ he added. He extended the holographic hand to her face. Even though Rey didn’t feel his physical touch, it was very close to the real thing. _“One threat stands in our way.”_

“What do you mean?” she asked, but as soon as she said it she realized what the answer was.

 _“The Jedi have been in hiding these past three decades. Training up a new generation of students.”_ He paused and reeled back, as if in disgust. _“The Light is growing stronger every day. I can feel their strength and resilience, even this far away. If we don’t act soon, they will begin to spread the influence of the Light across the galaxy. They must be contained.”_

At the mention of the Light Side, Rey thought of the Church of the Force and felt ill. For years now, Snoke had been aware the Jedi were not extinct. The Light side of the Force was still alive. That was the reason he had sought her out in the first place and began her training. He could not wipe out the Jedi alone, but with an apprentice by his side the Sith could rise up again. She would be the first of a new generation.

_“But…we may be close to ending the Jedi once and for all. On this base, there is a prisoner from the Resistance base on D’Qar who hid a map to the Jedi’s new temple. My interrogators have been unable to extract the location of this map from him. I want you to use the Dark Side to rip the information out of his head. Use what I taught you.”_

“Yes, Master,” Rey said quickly. She had been forced to practice the Mind probe technique on many victims, so she knew exactly what she had to do.

_“Very good. Once you find it, report back to me. Then you will be at the front of our attack on the Jedi temple. Once they are gone forever, nothing will stand in our way.”_

Rey could tell he was ready to leave, so she quickly cut in before he could end the transmission.

“Master! Before you go…I have something to ask.”

He gave her a puzzled look. Perhaps he had seen this coming, but he had not expected the sudden way she would bring it up. Rey swallowed the dryness in her mouth. She had to be careful of her word choice right now or she wouldn’t get what she wanted.

“I…the pilot who brought me here is very strong in the Force. And I was wondering if…if I could keep him alive. I think we could use him. If his Force power would help us find the Jedi or if we can turn him to the Dark Side, or…whatever else we could do.”

He paused, eyes boring into her. That was never a good sign. Rey’s entire body froze stiff and she stopped breathing, telling herself she’d breathe again when she got an answer. When he finally responded she thought her lungs would burst.

_“Perhaps you are right. You may keep the prisoner secure on Starkiller Base for now. When I need you elsewhere, you may bring him to me on Exegol. I will decide what to do with him when I meet him for myself.”_

“Thank you, Master. I promise it will be worth it to you.”

 _“I should hope so, my dear.”_ He gave her a small smile before the hologram vanished, and she was alone again.

~

Poe Dameron felt like shit.

The First Order had been working on him for about a day and a half now. He did not know where exactly he was; they had put a bag over his head from D’Qar until he was secured in an interrogation room, although they had been in hyperspace for some time. He did know that wherever he was, their on-staff torturers needed to take a new training class. Although to be fair, Poe had prepared for this for a long time. His spirit wasn’t easily broken.

His body, however, hurt everywhere. At some point yesterday they started giving him the routine beat-down to try to loosen his tongue, a barrage of fists and electrostaffs and blades. They knew exactly where to strike without causing permanent damage, damage that would cause severe pain while keeping him plenty alive for more torture. Then they strapped him into an interrogation table and used varying durations and voltage levels of electrocution between questions. Poe had given them nothing. And when he did speak he insulted their mothers or reminded them how much time they were wasting. After over thirty hours of this on repeat, he could feel the extensive nerve damage done to his body, like he had been burned from the inside out. His head pounded, and his muscles ached from the strain of the torture. His hands and feet were numb from the shocks and from not being able to move them for a long time. His body was covered in bruises and lacerations that made every movement hurt, and a couple of his ribs were cracked. But that was nothing compared to the severe hunger and thirst. They were giving him a bit of fluid through an IV but it was never enough to help him feel better; only enough to keep him alive and conscious. All he could think about was how good a single drop of cool water would feel in his throat right now, which was parched from all the screaming and crying out from the pain.

For now, it seemed they had taken a small break. Partly to rethink their strategy and partly to give him some time to think it over. Poe was vaguely aware of his surroundings. He wanted to fall asleep, but they had a droid on standby who would electrocute him whenever he drifted off. Sleep deprivation was another tool at their disposal to break him more. Dried blood crusted the sides of his head and around his nostrils. Poe reflected back on the training he had undergone for interrogations and compared it to what he was going through now.

_Fuck…my…life._

He tried to think about anything but the pain and misery. He couldn’t think about his friends or of Snap or he’d just feel worse, so he focused on things to count or list in his head. List every red-colored fruit, list the top ten flight maneuvers taught at the Hosnian Prime Flight Academy, count backwards from 1,000, and on and on. Anything to help his mind stay sharp and not give in…but dammit, all he could think about was how thirsty he was. How tired he was.

Some segment of time went by—whether it was ten minutes, an hour, or five hours, Poe couldn’t be sure—before the door finally opened again. Slowly, Poe lifted his head, which felt like it weighed half a ton. His vision was blurred but he could vaguely see a human-shaped figure in dark clothes approaching.

“Took you long enough…” he said. Poe could barely hear his own voice, he was so hoarse and parched. Moving his mouth cracked his dried, split lips open and he tasted a bit of his own blood.

“So apparently you’re a good pilot?” The voice was not what he expected. It was a woman’s voice he had not heard up until now, and she sounded younger than the interrogators.

“Just good? That’s an insult. I’m the best in the Resistance.”

She walked up closer to him. Her fists were clenched at her sides. Poe began to make out her facial features—lively eyes, dainty nose, flushed cheeks, soft lips, and a strong jaw. Dark hair pulled back in three buns with a few loose strands falling over her ears. Poe might be the gayest man on the planet but he did know beauty when he saw it.

“You don’t look good.” She cocked her head at him.

“I don’t feel good,” he said dryly.

“You do know who you’re protecting, right? The Jedi are manipulators. They’ll lie and use you and then tell you it’s for the greater good,” she snapped.

“And this is a step up from that?” He glanced around the room slightly.

“Of course it is. But I’m not here to debate with you, rebel.” She extended her hand out towards him.

Poe frowned in confusion—was this some sort of trick?—until something felt very, very wrong. Someone was inside his head, inside his _mind_. He gasped at the new sensation. He immediately realized this was some sort of Force power, which he had heard of but had yet to personally witness…but this was not of the Light. It was something much darker and sinister.

“You…what are you doing?” he groaned.

“It’s in there. I know it is…” The girl leaned in so close her fingertips could almost brush his forehead. “Sooner you give it to me, the sooner this stops. I know you know that.”

“The Jedi…will return…” Poe said through clenched teeth.

Fury flared in her eyes and she pushed harder into his head. Poe’s eyes rolled back and he tried to push her out, tried to make it stop. But he was no match for her. A force thrust deep into his mind and his head hit the back of the interrogation table. He stared up at the ceiling. The lights were spinning. He felt like someone was tearing his brain apart. Memories were brought to the surface that had been jumbled together by his exhaustion—of the interrogators trying to break his will over and over with the beatings, the electrocution, the verbal abuse, the starvation—it all came rushing back to the forefront and Poe felt the fear and humiliation, and she was forcing him to feel it over and over.

“You know where the map is. Now…show me.” The girl licked her lips, her hand trembling slightly with effort. She pressed her lips together, glaring him down and holding her ground.

“You don’t know…what you’re…” Poe didn’t even know how he planned to finish that sentence. It was gone. Ripped from his mind. He was about to demand to know what she was doing to him but that thought was also ripped from him.

“ _You_ don’t know the Dark Side’s power...”

The pain was far beyond physical. It was a mental, psychological agony. To feel someone breaking through your very thoughts and memories, everything that made you who you are…searching for what they wanted to tear it from you. His head was on fire and he couldn’t move. He was helpless and alone and his mind was being torn into.

He screamed until he couldn’t anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reverse bridal carry for the winnnn


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -more mind probe/torture

Rey watched as the Resistance pilot screamed in pain. Dried blood from the cuts on his lips were reopened. He pleaded for her to stop. He pulled at the restraints. A man just on the verge of completely breaking and holding on by a single thread.

_Come on…I know you’re in there._

She dug into his mind deeper, searching for what he refused to give. She could see it now. A part of him that he was trying to hide from her. It was hidden away and just out of her reach. It was taking every last ounce of his strength to hold it back. He may be strong-willed, but he was not Force-sensitive. He was going to break in a matter of moments if she persisted.

“Give it to me. It’s _MINE_!” she shouted at him, then pushed further in with more power. The Dark Side willed its way through her, searching his head for what she wanted. It guided her through his thoughts and feelings and memories.

And then she saw it.

A little astromech droid, white and orange colored. It was barely tall enough to reach the Resistance pilot’s knees. These two knew each other. They were close. The pilot and the astromech had been through a lot together...’BB-8’, it was nicknamed. They were in a hangar which appeared to be underground. The pilot knelt in front of the droid and handed it a small datafile, which the droid responded to with sounds of distress. In return, the pilot said something about how it was time for them to go their separate ways.

Rey grinned.

_Found you._

She released his mind from the Dark Side, and the pilot collapsed against the restraints. He was out cold. Rey looked at the bruised, bloodied man and briefly wondered what would happen to him now that they got what they wanted. But that wasn’t her problem anymore. His fate was out of her hands.

Rey hurried out of the cell. The guards double-glanced at her, as if surprised she had returned so soon. Not wanting to waste any time, Rey asked one of them to show her the way back to the Command Center’s overbridge. On the way there Rey absently thought about taking some free time of her own to explore Starkiller, and not just in the indoor caverns and corridors. She wanted to bundle up and venture out into the snowy forests, see what else was out there.

The overbridge was much larger than Rey had expected. Viewscreens lined up around the upper walls, and a turbolift was in every corner. Each operations chief had their own command station, plus offices for the High Command assigned here. The crew on board were dutifully at work monitoring their consoles, headsets on, not even glancing up at the newcomer to the room. Off to the side, in a meeting room, General Pryde and other First Order leaders were there gathered around a large circular table. The guard left once Rey entered the meeting room. She found herself staring down a bunch of people in perfect-fitting black and grey uniforms, all Human but of multiple genders and skin colors, looking at her like she didn’t belong. Hell, maybe she didn’t in a sense.

Because she was Sith. She was special. She was not like them.

“I know where the map is,” she said breathlessly to them. “It’s in a BB unit.”

“And where is the droid now?” one officer inquired stiffly.

“With the Resistance evacuees from D’Qar.” Rey opted to clasp her hands in front of her to appear more professional.

“Excellent. We find the rebels’ hiding place, and the map is ours,” the same officer said, looking around the room at the others.

“Which puts us exactly where we were _before_ the attack on D’Qar,” General Pryde grumbled. He was looking at the table and the full glass of water in front of him. “But no matter. That map is all we need to end this. Once the galaxy finds out we destroyed the Jedi, they’ll have no choice but to surrender.”

“I’ll have this information dispatched to our forces searching for the D’Qar Resistance forces,” another officer chimed in.

Rey nodded along, knowing that everyone in the room was watching her. Probably wondering who the hell she was and why she was suddenly acting like she had a position of authority here.

 _That’s fine,_ she told herself. _You just showed them what the Dark Side is capable of. What_ you _are capable of. They’ll start respecting you. Being scared of you. Just gotta be patient._

Fortunately, Jakku had taught her a thing or two about patience.

“Thank you for the information, Rey. You may go now,” said General Pryde.

Pursing her lips, Rey walked out of the room and returned to the overbridge. For now, she took the moment to walk up to the command platform, surveying her surroundings. The main viewscreen behind her overlooked the vast white landscape. By now, night had fallen on Starkiller base. The snow was a beautiful shade of blue and the sky was filled with stars. And Rey thought of the boy waiting for her in his cell, and she smiled.

Finally, things were starting to go her way.

~

Eight-Seven paced back and forth nervously at his post. He had been back on Starkiller Base for half a day now, and the anxiety was killing him.

Thanks to his failure on the Battle of D’Qar, Captain Phasma’s superiors had ordered he be assigned back to Starkiller for reconditioning. Clearly, as they said, Phasma had expected too much from him. He was not the prodigy she had expected him to be, but rather someone who only made good numbers in simulations and nothing more.

He was a failure. He could only imagine the embarrassment his old Captain was going through—how she had fought and all but pleaded to move him up the ranks, only to see him fall back after his first battle. Phasma hated him now; he had frozen up in combat and now not only made her look like a fool but got her in hot water with the First Order. She would never forget that.

As of now, his new assignment was guard duty along the south wing of the Command Center. Not a bad job. It was easy. But going from the frontlines of the offense against the Resistance to this…the irony was not lost on young Eight-Seven. This was all he was good for now, guarding a place that didn’t need any guards. He could have become one of the best troopers of Phasma’s company. He even could have made it to an elite squad, fighting alongside her. But no…he had been too weak. Too frail.

The stormtrooper hadn’t been able to sleep since the battle. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the face of the Resistance trooper he killed. He woke up most nights screaming and thrashing. The medical team on staff had started giving him pills. They were supposed to help, but he spoke to a few other cadets and they told him the pills made you an emotionless slate. Troopers who had been prescribed the pills only took a few months to change permanently, until their closest comrades didn’t recognize them anymore. They felt nothing, neither pleasure nor suffering. They had no emotional responses anymore. They were like droids, but at least most droids had a unique personality of their own.

Eight-Seven had a pill on him right now; they were pure white, half the size of his thumbnail, and dissolved like tasteless powder on your tongue instantly. During his lunch break in about an hour he was supposed to take one. In a few weeks he would be up for another evaluation test to see if he was ready to go back to the frontlines.

All he had to do was remove the pill and pop it in and all the bad feelings would go away. He could become a better soldier. The soldier he was raised to be his whole life.

And yet…why did something inside him constantly scream at him _not_ to do it? Why was the boy who had been preparing for war his whole life haunted by his first kill?

What the hell was wrong with him?

He unclipped the small pocket from his belt. All he had to do was take one pill and all these treasonous thoughts would go away. That is all it would take. No more suffering. It would be so easy...

Two stormtroopers walked past slowly, as they must be between shifts. Eight-Seven straightened when he heard them start chatting.

“You hear about the new guy they got in Cellblock C-7?” one asked.

 _New guy?_ Eight-Seven frowned. This was the first he heard. He didn’t even know of any other prisoners on board; at least none that he had clearance to know about. They didn’t exactly keep him in the loop about those sorts of things. He didn’t even know where they had shipped off the Resistance trooper they captured on D’Qar; for all Eight-Seven knew, the man was already dead.

“Yeah. You seen the _Raider-class_ corvette outside? It was his,” the other guard said. “Apparently he’s the kid of some famous smuggler. Best pilot in the galaxy or something. Said he can fly anything.”

“Where’d you hear that?”

“The new officer on duty…the girl. Never heard of her but apparently she’s one of the top people in charge. Even General Pryde has to answer to her. Or so I heard.”

The troopers walked past Eight-Seven. He took a deep breath. So the best pilot in the galaxy had just arrived at the base? And he had his own ship?

 _I wonder…_ Eight-Seven turned around and looked down the other end of the hall. Something was happening inside him. He didn’t look at the next few days, weeks, and months ahead and feel a sense of dread. He saw a new idea. A new sense of purpose, and…perhaps it was hope. Suppose, this pilot was still in strong enough condition to be able to escape Starkiller base. Suppose the pilot, being that they knew how to fly just about anything, could successfully navigate away from Starkiller undetected and vanish before the First Order could track them. And, lastly and most importantly…suppose this pilot had help from the inside to make his way out.

The stormtrooper’s mind began to wander. Thinking of what his life would be like away from the First Order, away from all his troubles. Up until now, the possibility of such a life had never even occurred to him; it was so bizarre and impossible that it wasn’t worth even dreaming of. No one talked about it, much less thought about it. The First Order _was_ your life. You didn’t even imagine of what it would be like to live on the outside, because that was never going to happen. Why dream of something that could not be?

But now…now there might be a way out. Now might be a single window of opportunity.

Eight-Seven had never been trained in how to fly, so fleeing the First Order had never been a realistic idea before. But if he had the help of a pilot, someone to hitch him a ride out of here…

 _If the best pilot in the galaxy can’t get us out of here, no one can. Maybe…this is my one chance,_ the stormtrooper thought.

The way he looked at it, it was now or never.

As soon as that idea occurred to him—as soon as he let himself consider a life outside of here, somewhere he did not have to kill anymore and he did not have to do what they ordered him to do—there was no going back. Something was awakening inside of him, even though the young stormtrooper did not even know it yet.

And once it was fully awake, he would never be the same again.

~

The first thing Ben Solo realized when he woke up was that he couldn’t move.

He was upright on what appeared to be some sort of vertical table. There were metal restraints on his wrists, forearms, and ankles. He pulled on them, but of course they were secured tightly. Ben looked around the room. It was octagon-shaped, and the vertical table was in the center directly under four rather bright light orbs. The walls and ceiling were all a cool, dark grey, and the floor was polished so perfectly he could see his reflection as if it were water. There was no door in sight so it was probably right behind him. A few small control panels blinked and softly hummed on the walls on either side of him. Most of all, it was dead quiet.

“Dammit...” Quickly, he went through the last things he remembered. Rey. The ship. Ilum. They had landed and…she didn’t kill him? She gave him mercy. Wait, no, not killing him just meant she had more plans for him. Plans that would probably make him wish he were dead. So now instead of being dead and gone he was trapped on some secret Sith base with someone who knew about his Force abilities.

Ben leaned his head back against the table and let out a groan of frustration.

_I’ve got to get out of here. Think, you idiot. Break it down step by step. First, you’ve got to get these cuffs off somehow. Then you need to sneak past the guards outside. My ship—I need to find my ship and get back to it. Okay…bit of a tall order, but Mom, Dad, and my uncles have all gotten out of much worse, so how hard can it be?_

He studied the restraints on his arms, trying to figure out how they were secured and if there was any way he could unlock them. This quickly proved to be impossible. Not even the Force could help him out of this one. They were fastened with double lock bolts that looked like they could only be removed either by a trigger switch to unclamp them or by a very fancy pick, neither of which he had access to. Ben pulled again, testing the amount of wiggle room, but all that did was irritate his skin slightly. He wasn’t going anywhere.

 _You’re okay. Don’t panic. Focus. Calm down…_ But he was already breathing rapidly, heart pounding. His mind went to what he knew about Sith abilities, horror stories told over the campfire back at the Jedi temple. Stories of how Sith could terrorize your mind until you went insane. Stories of Sith ripping memories and thoughts from your head until you forgot everything that made you who you are. Even some stories of a much more macabre form of Jedi mind trick where a Sith had complete control over a person’s mind, turning them into a puppet, aware that they were being controlled but unable to stop it. He shuddered, feeling a little sick. Did the girl Rey have any of that planned for him? Or were there even more terrifying Dark side powers out there he hadn’t even heard of?

The door opened behind him. Ben startled and quickly faced ahead of him and braced for the worst. He was surprised to see not Rey walking around in front of him, but a First Order stormtrooper. Now Ben understood who had been on the comm and whose base this was.

 _So the Sith and the First Order are teaming up…great. Just great,_ he thought dismally. He looked at the trooper and discovered his body was tensed up. Was this trooper here to bring him to Rey, to give him a few zaps?

“Um…you’re the pilot, right?” the trooper asked. He sounded much younger than Ben had expected, even through the voice filters on the helmet. It was the voice of a boy who was not yet a man.

“Yes…?” Ben frowned.

“And the _Raider-class_ corvette is your ship?”

“What’s it to you?”

The stormtrooper seemed to take a deep breath. Then he set his blaster rifle on the floor, reached up, and removed his helmet, letting it drop to the floor.

The two stared at each other for a few moments. Ben’s initial assessment had been right—this trooper was far from a seasoned, hardened soldier. No scars from battle or weathered lines of someone who had been exposed to the elements. Rather, this soldier would be lucky if he could buy a drink on planets with even the most negligent legal systems. His dark skin was beaded with sweat, and his eyes big with a wide range of emotions. The stormtrooper looked…scared. Startled.

“I’m going to get you out of here,” he said breathlessly.

“Wait, what?” Ben blinked at him, not believing what he had just heard.

“I’m here to help you escape!” He had said that a bit too loudly, and he ducked his shoulders and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Just stay close to me and we can get out of here on your ship.”

“Are you a spy? Are you Resistance?”

“What? No! I’m running away.”

Ben studied the boy’s eyes. He seemed very genuine about this. But Ben had spent the better part of the last week being played by people and having his trust being taken advantage of, and he was getting rather sick of it.

“Then why are you helping me?”

“Because…” The boy paused in thought. “…because it’s the right thing to do.”

Ben had to smile at that. He had to give the kid points for effort.

“I think it’s because you need a ride out of here and you know that I’m a pilot.”

Heat rushed to the boy’s cheeks. He looked down at his feet.

“Yeah, you’re right…I need a pilot.”

“Why are you running away? What’s in it for you?” Ben pressed.

“I can’t stand it here. I…I don’t want to be like them.” He bit his bottom lip and took a deep breath. “I was sent on a mission and they wanted me to kill enemy soldiers. But…I can’t do that anymore. I can’t do what they want me to do.”

“Okay.” Ben nodded slightly. “Make you a deal, kid. You get me out of this cell and help me to my ship, you’ll be out of here safe and sound.”

“Okay, deal!” The boy reached out a hand to shake it, then realized Ben’s wrists were still strapped down to the table. “Oh, um, right…one second.” He found a switch on the back of the table and unlocked the restraints. “I saw two guards just a few minutes ago doing the shift change. I think if we sneak around the back hallway we can make a run for it.”

“I have a better idea. Cuff me and tell them that you’re under orders from the girl Rey to take me to her. That’ll give us more time to get to my ship before they figure out something’s wrong.”

“That’s a good idea.” The boy smiled excitedly.

“Now, do you know where they took my ship?”

His smile faded.

“That’s a…good question. But I know where we can find out. There’s a control room just down the hall with a command console inside. I’m sure there will be a record of it there.”

“All right. And thanks…what do they call you here?”

“I’m FN-2187. But sometimes Eight-Seven for short.”

“Eight-Seven…” That put a bitter taste in Ben’s mouth. The idea of people being given numbers for names, no sense of personal identity. He had figured the stormtroopers of the First Order were indoctrinated in some form but he had no idea it was this extreme. “We can, uh, we can figure that out later. First things first.”

Eight-Seven put his helmet back on and picked up his rifle. They approached the cell door and Ben took cover beside it just in case anyone was outside. After looking both ways, he gave Ben a nod.

“Stay close to me,” he whispered. Once in the hallway they walked quickly towards the control room.

Ben’s heart pounded. He was in enemy territory, and the trooper helping him out didn’t exactly ooze confidence. He stayed close

“So, uh…this planet. Or base. Whatever it is…” Ben said awkwardly.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Did the First Order build it?”

“Well, yeah?” Eight-Seven looked at Ben like he was stupid. “This is all the First Order.”

“But I meant—never mind.” Ben wanted answers. He wanted to know what the hell a Sith girl was doing on a First Order base. But now was not the time to find that out. Every second they stayed here was another chance they would be caught, and he preferred to get out of this a free man. Besides, who was to say Eight-Seven had any idea a Sith was here anyway? That could very easily be classified information that everyday stormtroopers had no idea about.

Fortunately, the hall was empty for the time being. Ben stayed close behind Eight-Seven, who opened the door to the control room and quickly checked that it was clear before they both entered.

“Do you happen to know how long I’ve been here?” Ben asked as Eight-Seven pulled up a chair at one of the computers.

“Sorry…I’m just a guard. But it’s oh-three-hundred-hours if that helps.”

Ben remembered it was 1930 hours when he took the _Odysseus_ out of hyperspace. Almost six hours ago. Plenty of time for the First Order to ransack his ship, strip it of all its vital parts and goods, ship Kate and Delta off to work for them. He just hoped the ship was still flyable. He watched Eight-Seven pull up some recent work orders and records saved on the computer’s database.

“Well, the good news is they put in an order to have your ship on lockdown for the time being. So it’s still in one piece.”

Ben breathed a sigh of relief.

“Looks like Hangar…724. Great!” Eight-Seven looked up at Ben and smiled. “I know how to get us there. Less than four clicks away. We’ll be safer if we go outside and around the perimeter of the Command Center. It’s dark out, so that will help keep us covered.”

He shook his arms to get the blood flowing back in them, then held out his wrists for the stormtrooper.

“Okay, go ahead and cuff them.”

“Wait! Wait…” The boy’s eyes were locked on the computer screen. “There’s another order put in for the detention level…”

Ben leaned over his shoulder to see what he was seeing.

_[Poe Dameron - Cell Block T-27, Starkiller Base Command Center_

_Status: Commander and affiliate of the Resistance army_

_Detained: 46 hours, 33 minutes_

_Termination: 0830 hours]_

“Oh, no. They’re going to execute him in just a few hours…” Eight-Seven leaned back in his chair. “I saw him on the base. I knew they took him away, but…I had no idea they brought him here. I guess they didn’t want just anyone knowing that.”

In spite of it all, Ben couldn’t help but find this whole situation absurd to the point of funny—seeing a stormtrooper trained by an extremist military group this torn up about one person he didn’t know anything about.

Eight-Seven looked up at him.

“We should get him out too,” he said.

Ben winced.

“I don’t know if—”

“We _have_ to,” he insisted. “He…he needs our help. I don’t want him to die here. Now that I know he’s going to be killed and if I left knowing that anyway...it’s just as bad as killing him myself, isn’t it? I couldn’t live with myself.”

 _He’s compassionate. Has a big heart._ In any other situation Ben would have been delighted to see a similar trait of his own, especially in someone he otherwise would have convinced was either brainwashed by the First Order into a cold-blooded killer or someone who genuinely believed they were on the right side. But now he just saw a kid who wanted to save everyone and was going to get them all in trouble as a consequence.

Then again, having a third person might help with their escape, if they played their cards right.

“Well…that changes plans.” Ben ran his hands through his hair. He did admit, escaping without a prisoner scheduled to be executed soon would make him feel like an asshole for a long time. “Okay, new plan. If there were two stormtroopers taking this prisoner in for questioning that might give us enough time to get outside. We’ll have to move fast so they don’t realize I’m gone and lock down the base.”

“What do you…ohh, I get it. A disguise. Wonder where we could find one…” He looked around the room. He noticed a supply closet and opened it. “Damn, nothing but a tech jumpsuit in here.”

“It’ll have to do.” Ben grabbed it and began pulling the jumpsuit on. Eight-Seven found a utility belt and a bag of tools in the closet as well and set them aside.

“Here. These will help with the look.” He looked back at the computer and checked a few more records. “No orders for repair or maintenance work have been requested in this precinct, so we’ll have to just act confident and hope no one stops us.”

Ben zipped up the jumpsuit and fastened on his belt. Of course, the jumpsuit was a bit too small for him; his ankles and wrists were exposed and it was snug around the chest. He pulled his boots back on.

“Figures they wouldn’t have one in my size,” he muttered. “Where is the other prisoner?”

“Just down a few hallways.” Eight-Seven studied the computer. “I can find our way there easy.”

 _This is insane. We’re so, so screwed,_ Ben thought.

Eight-Seven led the way down the hall. Ben walked close behind, feeling out of place in his jumpsuit which was already starting to make him perspire since it was an extra layer. He carried the toolbox under his arm, his mind racing through all the possibilities of what could go wrong at any given moment. Mostly, he dreaded that Rey would turn the corner and appear in front of them.

“So far, so good,” Eight-Seven whispered to him, holding tightly to his blaster rifle.

“Don’t speak too soon, kid,” Ben whispered back.

~

The last thing Poe knew had been the girl standing in front of him, probing his mind. When he woke up again, someone was nudging him.

He moaned slightly as he opened his eyes. He must have been out a few hours or so, since he could feel the effects of some rest on his body right now. However, his head was pounding and he had never been thirstier in his life. Faintly he heard two voices above him but he was only beginning to catch what they were saying.

“Water…” Poe managed to whisper hoarsely.

In a few moments, the cold metal from a water canteen lid brushed his lips. Then the sweet taste of cool water ran down his throat. He drank slowly for several seconds. When he could speak again Poe found his voice was back.

“Back to get more out of me?”

“We’re getting you out of here,” someone said. “Think you can walk?”

“That’s a great question.” Someone unlocked the restraints and there were hands under his arms helping him down. The world suddenly went topsy-turvy. Poe’s legs felt like jelly. Luckily whoever was helping him was strong enough to keep him from hitting the floor and smashing his nose. Poe looked up at them now that his head was clearing up. One of them was someone who looked much too young to be a stormtrooper. The other had a face that Poe swore he had seen before, but not in person; perhaps on a hologram or holovid he had seen a while ago. “I might need help…”

“Take it easy.” The other someone held onto Poe, letting him lean on for balance.

“Are you…Leia’s kid?”

Now Poe placed the face and voice. This was indeed Leia’s son. The boy who had trained with Luke Skywalker for some years before running away and becoming a pilot. Leaving his parents to fight for his future while he lived his own carefree life. In fairness, Poe didn’t know Ben Solo personally and didn’t know the whole story. But from what he understood, the kid could have been helping General Organa and his father in the effort and instead had abandoned his family. Maybe it was from growing up in a family who served in the Rebellion, but Poe found a person like that hard to respect. He might even resent Ben Solo.

 _So this is my rescuer…_ Not his first choice, but he couldn’t exactly be picky.

“Yep…that’s me,” he sighed.

“She didn’t send for you, did she?” Poe had to ask.

“Nope. You’re just lucky we’re taking you with us,” he said, and Poe took that to mean he was mostly joking.

“How are we gonna get out of here if he’s in bad shape?” the stormtrooper fussed. The boy cringed and looked back at the cell door, as if expecting soldiers to storm through it at any moment. “Oh man, oh man, this is bad! This is so bad…”

“You saying I look that bad?” Poe asked with a small smile.

Ben Solo helped Poe test his weight on his legs. Poe could stand now, but he still felt horrible all over. Maybe he could walk on his own, but if they had to make a run for it, he’d be left behind.

“Let’s just say I hope you feel worse than you look,” said Ben Solo.

“I appreciate your honesty, Solo.” Poe winced as he tried taking a couple steps. “So, how are we going to get out of here?”

“If he cuffs you, I can walk a little ways behind you both. Once we’re outside, we’ll get to the hangar as fast as possible,” said Ben.

Poe didn’t like the idea of being cuffed again, but he didn’t see another way out of this. So he held out his wrists and the stormtrooper fastened them on. He did notice they were left just slightly loose so Poe could remove them on his own when the time came. He looked at the two young men, blinking sweat and blood out of his eyes.

Ben turned to the stormtrooper and nodded.

“If you lead us, I’ll cover,” he said.

“Right…” the stormtrooper was all but quaking in his boots. But he put on his helmet and stood to attention. “Follow me.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Faceclaim for 'Ren' - Jamie Clayton (https://64.media.tumblr.com/6a28c5d14aeeece182a8180bf227d5cb/b73ae7e33528bf1e-41/s1280x1920/b7adf8f6ab988b596ae39c791534199ed1e48c4b.png)
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -brief implied mention of r/pe

_Keren, Naboo - Month 4, Day 17,_ _34 ABY_

Nightfall on Naboo was a sacred time. At least to her.

For Ren, Naboo held great sacredness. It was a beautiful, ancient world, its locals valuing the ethics of peacetime and diplomacy. Its cities were adorned with the classic Naboo architecture, characterized by the domed roofs, cupolas, and porticoes. The planet also deeply valued fashion and the arts, as shown by its many museums of visual arts and its rich history in poetry, cuisine, calligraphy, and so on.

But these were not the reasons she loved this planet. When Ren thought of Naboo, she remembered that this was the homeworld of Emperor Palpatine. He was born and raised on this very place. Naboo was where he trained in the Dark Side and rose to power. He had built his career from Senator to Chancellor to Emperor here. To her, Naboo symbolized the birthplace of the Galactic Empire, and consequently the First Order. It symbolized an idea of how the galaxy should be. Humans and Gungans once lived separately, their societies apart and never influencing one another, and that was exactly how it should be again—not just for this planet, but for all star systems. That important part of Naboo Human culture changed thanks to Queen Amidala calling on the Gungans for aid, a part of the planet’s history that Ren had been taught to look down on in disgust. The galaxy needed fixing. It needed to be cleaned up. Humans and non-Humans should not integrate and lived in segregated places.

That was what Emperor Palpatine had stood for, and consequently, it was what Ren now fought for. Everything that he had done to bring peace and order to the galaxy, was now a part of her as much as it was a part of him. He may have been killed years back, thrown into the Chaos realm where it was said the spirits of the dead Sith resided, but his legacy lived on in her.

Tassler trees loomed above her hiding place deep in the swamp. Ferns, shrubs, and Woosha plants brushed against her knee-high boots. It was the middle of the night and the moons were concealed by thick clouds, meaning she could hardly see in front of her. Occasionally above her head she heard the flutter of bogwings as they flew above the treetops. Right now, her only companions were her weapons. Her most deadly one was kept holstered for now and she only planned to use it under direct orders. As for her other weapons, they were kept hidden on her person in various places. A deadly poisoned blade was under each boot hidden in the sole, triggered by a small switch. Vibroblades on the outside of each forearm concealed under her black cloak. Thermal detonators on her belt, which she had never seen any use for but held onto just in case. Her long, red hair was tied back in a tight ponytail that was intricately braided. It was meant to keep out of the way so it didn’t get caught in the brush and branches, but if it was her way, Ren would keep her hair long and flowing down. She felt happiest and most confident that way. As for her outfit, she wore a dark vest and pants along with a cape that went down to her waist. It was not her ideal getup, but she had much bigger things to be concerned about right now.

Ren was positioned along the border of Lake Varum. The lake was somewhere between eight and nine square miles, with a few islands privately owned by local royalty. On the other side of the lake, she could see the city of Keren. Even in the middle of the night, the city still glistened with lights and nocturnal urban activities. She watched the lights reflect on the lake’s surface as she studied the landscape, running estimations and numbers in her head for her plan. Keren was a huge, bustling city, an economy based on trading and both local and imported goods. If she were to ever earn herself a small vacation, she could see herself coming back here, if only to marvel at Naboo’s beautiful cities and study its art and culture. But she was not here for Naboo’s beauty. She was on a mission.

Somewhere close by, the Resistance was hiding here. Ren was sure of it. At least, a faction of them were. They had other fleets and leaders spread throughout the galaxy, but this particular group had fled from a vital Resistance stronghold. Per orders from First Order High Command, this was no ordinary band of rebels. Somewhere within the D’Qar evacuees, an astromech contained a datafile very important to the First Order’s conquest. That was all she knew. That was all she needed to know. Find the droid, get the data.

It had not been easy work tracking them here. But Ren had been trained to sniff out anyone in the galaxy who was hiding from the First Order and Sith Eternal, and she had access to all the resources she needed to find them. Specifically, she had traveled to D’Qar and surveyed the partially destroyed base all on her own. Although the rebels had wiped the computer databanks, she was able to decrypt old logs on the security drive. One of those logs showed a transmission that had been sent to D’Qar from an outpost just outside the Geonosis system. Although the transmission’s information itself had been erased, Ren headed to the outpost. From there, she tracked known traffic off the outpost, using both the Force and her own skills in finding the well-hidden to guide her. Eventually, Ren tracked a number of ships that had departed from the outpost and headed to the northern continent on Naboo’s western hemisphere. Ren then had to narrow down the possible places the evacuees would have fled to seek refuge and aid. And were it not for the fact that General Leia Organa had gone to the city of Keren years ago for help, when the last of the Alderaanians needed a place to live what with their home being destroyed, Ren may never have made that connection and found them.

But now, after hours traveling through Nabbo’s lush forests and swamps, all that separated her from the Resistance was the lake. Once there, she just needed to get to the droid. She had been provided a brief description of the droid thanks to the information provided by the First Order’s prisoner. It was all Ren needed to get the job done.

Unfortunately, Lake Varum extended a long distance in either direction, and most of the lake was surrounded by swamp. Not the most ideal for travel. She had no vehicle to take her across; only a speeder bike that was only meant to hover above ground. Walking around the lake would be a waste of valuable time and energy. So that left swimming across or finding a vehicle of her own.

Ren took the moment to kneel at the water’s edge, evaluating her options. Her boots were now ankle-deep in the dark, cool mud. Nearby, a family of ollopoms croaked as they perched on top of the pom petals. Other than that slightly annoying sound, it was completely silent on her side of the lake. The sounds of Keren’s nightlife couldn’t reach them here.

Finally, she realized she had no other option to get to Keren. Ren got up and walked back to her speeder bike, thinking through her options. After a couple more minutes of thinking she made her decision. Ren calculated the distance to one of the islands in the middle of the lake, just about halfway between her and the city. She then put a small breathing apparatus over her mouth. When she was ready, she waded into the water and dove in. It was cold, but well above freezing and she adjusted to the temperature quickly. Ren dove as deep as she could, just in case the island residents were scanning the lake’s surface for lifeforms. Small fish that she found to be strange-looking, with their giant, bulging eyes and fangs longer then their own bodies, darted past her and down to hide in small caves and coral beds. Her long, red braid flowed behind her as she swam deeper in.

She wasn’t used to swimming, and had to call on previous training to move quicker through the water. When she reached the swampy edge of the island, Ren climbed onshore and surveyed her surroundings to make sure she was in the clear before she continued. From here, she could finish making her way to the city.

Ren took in a deep breath, yet again enjoying the aroma of Naboo’s fresh, wild air. Thinking of how Sheev Palpatine rose to become Darth Sidious on this very planet, breathing in this very same air. Even now, the Dark Side guided her on her mission. She did not need a droid assistant or any sort of technology to aide her. The Force was more than enough. The Force was everything.

~

_Starkiller Base -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

Ben couldn’t stop tugging at the uncomfortable jumpsuit, feeling like it was growing smaller with every moment. Eight-Seven led them step by step down corridors and past rooms, checking each one carefully before giving the all clear sign to proceed with their escape. As for Poe, he was hanging in there so far but it was clear the First Order had done a number on him; he limped with each step, and tried not to show how much pain he was in.

The stormtrooper motioned for them to halt before they cleared another doorway. He looked up and down the hall, breathing quickly under the helmet.

“Okay, all clear. Just got to make it to the exit door and we’ll be outside. Much less security out there.” Even with his helmet on, Ben could almost sense that Eight-Seven’s eyes were lighting up with excitement and he was smiling. “We’re almost there.”

Ben stayed back while the two began walking down the hall. He glanced back, still seeing no guards on their tail. The base was eerily quiet right now, and not nearly as many setbacks were coming at them.

As they turned the corner, Eight-Seven pointed at an exit hatch and said something about just another hallway down and they would be out of this strange place. This hall was lined with large pipes, and pale lights shone through a grated floor. Now and then a small hissing sound from the nearby machines was followed by the release of a small vapor. Their footsteps echoed against the metal walls. With each step, escape was nearer. And just when Ben was wondering that maybe, just maybe, this whole escape was going a bit too easy for his liking…the hallway began flashing a brilliant red. And the ear-piercing sound of alarms made his teeth rattle.

“Oh, _shit_. They’ve locked down the Command Center. They know we’re here. _Shit_!” Eight-Seven spun around. “They’re coming right this way from behind!”

Ben looked over his shoulder but saw no one. The hallway was empty. He blinked, not understanding why Eight-Seven made such a false alarm.

But before he could ask, three stormtroopers ran around the bend, blasters drawn. Quickly, Ben ducked for cover, pinning his body against the wall. As he glanced over, he saw Eight-Seven helping Poe do the same.

 _How did you know….?_ he wondered absently.

The red flashing lights burned Ben’s eyes. His heart pounded. Laser bolts raced past him within inches. He looked to Eight-Seven, who unclipped a small blaster pistol from his belt and tossed it Ben’s way. Ben turned and opened fire on the stormtroopers. And just like that, he made himself an official enemy of the First Order. He had no time to think about the killing, nor the target he had now placed on his own back. He just had to survive.

He had scarcely taken down two soldiers when the whole world went up in smoke.

~

Rey was just about to return to her personal chambers when she saw one of the crew’s consoles begin blinking. The crew member looked up at the officer on duty, and Rey leaned in to hear what he said.

“Lieutenant, there are three intruders spotted on Deck Level T-7.”

“Lock down all the doors and exits,” he answered. “Do we know how they got in?”

“There does not seem to be a point of entry, sir.”

Rey’s stomach went cold.

_No…no no no no…_

She bolted for the turbolift and took it down to the prison cell she left Ben Solo in, racing past the guards and even shoving a few of them aside to get out of her way. Sure enough, once she entered the cell, he was gone. The restraints had been unlocked somehow and there was no trace of where he had left. She paced around the interrogation table, as if hoping she would blink and he would appear back.

“No…no…” Blood rushed in her ears, her eyes locked on the space where the pilot should be.

 _Snoke is going to kill me,_ she thought. No, worse that that—killing her would just be a mercy. If she provided him such a lovely prize only to let it slip away, he would make sure she never made that mistake again. It would be worse than the isolation chamber, worse than letting the most sadistic Sith Eternal have their way with her for a night, worse than forcing her to relive every horrible memory over and over. This would be an offense for which there would be no mercy. If she could not do such a simple thing as capture a Force-sensitive person and bring them back to Exegol, then she would fail in anything more important. She _was_ a failure.

Terror and rage surged within her until she had no sense of control over her body. Rey drew her saber and slashed the table in two. She had been tricked. And now she was going to suffer like she had never suffered before. And it wasn’t even her fault.

She screamed out and stormed out of the cell.

“Rey to the bridge, where were the intruders last spotted?” she demanded.

_“They’re in Block T-13, just near the exit door.”_

“I got this. Everyone else, stay out of my way!” She flicked her wrist and the blade switched into its horizontal mode, transforming it into a double-edged saber.

_I can fix this. I’ve got to fix this._

~

Ben coughed and gagged, blinking away the stinging in his eyes.

“What the…”

“Come on! _Run_!” someone shouted. Eight-Seven.

That was all Ben needed to hear. He turned and bolted for where he hoped the door was. He could not see where he was going, and just trusted his memory to get him through without crashing into anything. His lungs were filled with thick smoke. His eyes burned.

When the door opened, a gust of icy wind hit him full blast, hurting his skin. Heavy snow reached up past his ankles, instantly soaking the jumpsuit. He kept running, out into the biting cold of Ilum.

As he blinked the smoke out of his eyes, Ben’s vision cleared. Up ahead and beyond, huge rock formations surrounded the clearing, and past that were tall cliffs topped by snow-covered trees. He looked over his shoulder at the stormtrooper, who was running out the door from which thick clouds of smoke still wafted. Eight-Seven was soon out the door as well, and took his helmet off once he was outside.

“Smoke grenade! Thought we could use the extra cover,” he announced, propping his helmet under his arm.

“Good thinking,” Ben said. He looked to the pilot. “Poe, can you keep up?”

Poe, meanwhile, had made his way out the door with Eight-Seven’s help. The quick escape had not treated his injuries well, and he was coughing hard on the smoke.

“Come on…” Ben grabbed Poe’s arm. “I’ll help you. Eight-Seven, lead the way!”

Eight-Seven ran into the darkness. The guard towers surrounding the command center jutted bright beams of light down on the snow, before cutting off where the ground began to drop to a large bank surrounding the Command Center. The wind whipped at them, snowflakes biting at exposed skin before beginning to melt. Laser bolts pelted the ground around them, as the stormtroopers recovered from the smoke grenade and resumed their pursuit. Ben held onto Poe tightly, all but dragging him through the snow.

“This way!” Eight-Seven pointed where the ground dropped farther down about a hundred feet before ending at a small ravine. “It’ll lead us to the docking bay.”

Ben ducked as a laser bolt sailed above his head. He watched his breath come out in small vapors in front of him. His adrenaline rushed through him like a drug, so much so he forgot how cold it was. Ahead, Eight-Seven stuck his legs out and began to slide down, letting gravity pull him to the ravine. Ben followed suit, still holding onto Poe. Ice scraped against his back. When he landed in the ravine, he hit the ground almost hard enough to fall over. From the sound Poe made after his land his was even rougher. Ben helped him up, feeling the Resistance pilot already beginning to shiver.

“If we don’t stop we might just make it!” Eight-Seven added. Already, he was back on his feet. The cold walls of the ravine reached just above Ben’s head, sharp rocks jutting out as dirt and snow were kicked up in their quick pace. Soon the clearing ended, and the ravine was surrounded by a thick forest. The kind of forest where you could see all sorts of ice monsters emerge to devour you if you let your imagination get carried away.

“Hey, kid!” Ben called out to Eight-Seven. “How did you know they were coming before you saw them?”

“I…I don’t know,” he answered after a pause. “I guess I just…knew. Like a feeling I had.”

Ben left it at that, but he had to wonder if there was more to what had had happened back there. But now wasn’t the time. The distant sound of speeder bikes was growing closer and closer.

“How much further to the docking bay?” Ben asked.

“Just over half a mile.”

“We’re not going to make it…” Ben said more to himself. This whole escape idea had been a long shot from the start, but now he understood even more that it was futile. At least, futile that all three of them made it out of here. He swallowed hard, thinking of what had to be done, and what he was about to give up. “You two keep going. I’ll stay here and hold them off.”

“What? No, we’re doing this to—”

“At least if I stay behind you two got a chance!”

“No, you should—”

“Don’t argue with me, kid! Go. Get away from here.”

Poe gave him a look of dismay, a look that indicated he didn’t like Ben’s argument but he didn’t have any better ideas. He limped towards Eight-Seven who tossed Ben his blaster rifle, his eyes shining already with tears. Ben caught it mid-air and began walking back towards the Command Center. He cut Eight-Seven off before he could make some little heartfelt speech.

“Just go. Go, _now_!” Ben shouted.

Eight-Seven rubbed the tears from his eyes and ran, Poe sticking close behind.

The kid’s heart was too big…but the thought of helping someone escape and get a chance at a life away from this made Ben feel a little better. He hoped Eight-Seven would find peace with himself one day.

Ben turned to face his fate.

He saw two lone beams of red light piercing the freezing night air, slowly coming closer.

~

Rey ordered the stormtroopers to stay behind. She could deal with them herself. She had to. She had to show her master that no one under her watch could escape.

If she couldn’t do this one simple thing, what right did that give her to the throne? What right did she have to call herself the first of the new generation of Sith?

She was still far unused to the cold, but she hardly felt it now. Snow fell down around her in a world of ice and darkness. Ice crunched under her boots, soaking through her new clothing and chilling her to the bone. But the pain and discomfort just fueled her rage. It pushed her through the harsh climate, as she moved closer to her target. The trees towered above her and the wind howled around her. Rey’s fingers were already going numb but somehow she held onto her saber, which hissed as each snowflake that touched it was instantly vaporized. She thought of what would happen if she let the prisoners escape and the punishments that would be waiting for her and it was enough to keep her going.

In the distance, down in the ravine, she could sense someone approaching. She knew who it was before even reaching out in the Force. Rey growled under her breath and broke out into a run for the ravine. Snow stung her face like hundreds of little needles. But the apprentice of the Sith Eternal knew how to use pain to make her stronger.

Before the ground dropped, Rey jumped into the air and used the Force to guide her towards him. She landed on her feet several feet in front of him. The son of Han Solo stared her down, his hair dampened by the snow and strands sticking to his flushed face. His dark eyes widened with realization, and then fear. Fear of her. He looked so unlike the man who had been her rescuer off of Jakku, the pilot who was compassionate yet guarded and not afraid of death. Now, he appeared frail and helpless, as he shivered in the cold and gripped a stormtrooper blaster rifle like it was going to save his life, and _what the hell is he wearing?_

“You’re not gonna like me like this,” Rey snarled at him, baring her teeth. “I won’t kill you but I can really show you how much damage people can survive.”

He took several steps back, then aimed the blaster at her. That just made her smile. Certainly he was not dumb enough to think he could stop her now. Even with his incredible strength in the Force, she knew he was not well trained, only having a mere grasp at his potential. Whereas she had spent years preparing for this. As it stood, the worst he could do to her was a few bumps and bruises.

“You don’t have it in you. You were torn up about killing those pirates, so you won’t touch me.” She took another step closer, waving her lightsaber casually around in a semi-circle. Waiting to see what he would do, what his big brilliant plan was. _I want you to do it, Captain Solo,_ she thought. _I want you to shoot. Show me what you’re like when you’re pissed off. Show me your power._ Gods, she wanted it so bad. She wanted to see more of that little glimpse she got in their fight with the pirates.

“I will if I have to!” Ben’s grip tightened on the blaster rifle. His hands were shaking, and it did not appear to be just from the cold. His lips trembled, and his eyes were locked on her like he was in a trance.

She could see it in his eyes. Even after all she had done—lied to him, used him, took him prisoner, locked him in a cell—he still saw her as the helpless, lost little girl she had pretended to be on Jakku. He still saw a girl stuck in a hellhole with no way out, reaching out to him as her only hope, desperate for an escape and pleading for someone to see her and reach out.

But surely that whole role had been for pretend. None of it was real.

“Okay, then you have to! Come on!” Rey moved forward and slashed her saber at him, not a motion that intended to damage any vital organs but could easily burn flesh. He stumbled back, unharmed, but still did not open fire. She gave another slash at the air between them, all but just doing it to try to get a response out of him. “What’s your problem? You seriously don’t want to even try to kill me? _Why are you holding back_?” she demanded.

And then, it happened.

Her body was thrown back. Not expecting it, her head snapped as her limbs flailed out, trying to fight it. A second later, the small of her back collided with a large rock jutting out from the ravine. Rey yelped out in pain and surprise. She collapsed to the dirty, snowy ground.

When she recovered, Ben Solo was running away, into the dark forest. For a moment she just stood there, lightheaded, watching him run.

_He did it. He fucking did it. He pushed me._

Her anger at being tossed like that almost overcame her pleasure that she finally made him break down and use the Force. Almost. Rey began her pursuit again.

~

At Hangar 724, Eight-Seven and Poe waited outside for a moment to see if the stormtroopers here were aware of the intruders. So far, they did not seem to be on high alert. Eight-Seven looked in the hangar and saw a large, beautiful ship. There were a few crates outside indicating someone had already searched the ship for supplies.

“Okay, cuff me and lead the way.” Poe said. They had removed the cuffs during their run through the forest to help him along. Poe seemed a little better now, but Eight-Seven knew that the rush of adrenaline could only help a person last so long. Poor guy was going to crash hard when they escaped… _if_ they escape.

“Right…” Eight-Seven put his helmet back on and began walking, aiming his blaster pistol at Poe’s back as they walked in. He counted two guards inside standing near the ship. Eight-Seven reminded himself that if he just kept walking like he was supposed to be here, they would have less reason to suspect him. Even so, he quickened his pace a bit as they approached the ship. Almost numbly, he made up some story to the guards about how he had been instructed to bring the prisoner here to review some Resistance data compiled on board, then he kept walking before the guards could stop him. He glanced over his shoulder as they walked up the ramp of Ben Solo’s ship and saw one guard already picking up his com. “Um, they’re calling it in. They didn’t buy it,” he warned Poe.

“Doesn’t matter now.” Poe tore off the cuffs as soon as the door was closed. “Damn, Solo has a nice ship. Makes the _Falcon_ look like a—”

“Can you fly this thing?” He tore off his helmet and dropped it on the floor, not wanting it on any longer than it needed to be. This time, he hoped it would stay off for good.

“Kid, I can fly _anything_.” Poe gave him a cocky smile that, for some reason, made Eight-Seven’s heart skip a beat. “This is a _Raider-_ class corvette. These ships are a beast. Laser cannons are on the next floor up. Can you use those?”

“Uh, yeah. Think so.” Pretty sure he had tried something like those in a simulation once.

“Good, get to one of them while I fly us back there.” Poe began moving as quickly as he could to a hallway that must lead to the ship’s cockpit.

“Back to where?!”

“To Solo!” Poe yelled back without stopping. “If I left General Organa’s only kid behind, I’d never hear the end of it!”

Shaking his head, Eight-Seven rushed to find the nearest stairs or elevator. As he did, he ran past a utilities closet from which he heard a lot of loud thumps, like something was in there banging around. With some hesitation, he approached the closet door and opened it. An orange and gray astromech droid tumbled out.

“Woah! What are you doing here?” This was not a First Order droid. It must be Ben Solo’s. The droid was speaking so fast in binary that even what little Eight-Seven understood of the language was near impossible to pick up. He dropped his blaster and helped the droid up from the floor. When he touched it, it made a loud squeal of alarm. “Hey, it’s okay! I’m a friend! We’re off to save Ben Solo and then we’re out of here,” he said quickly.

As if right on cue, the ship began to groan with the first signs of movement. Eight-Seven stood upright.

“Hey, can you help me find the laser cannons?”

The droid hesitated, clearly scanning Eight-Seven’s stormtrooper outfit to determine what it meant. But whatever was in his facial expression must have been enough to convince the droid because it hurried down a hall which led right to the elevator. Eight-Seven followed as he felt the ship begin lifting off.

~

Ben Solo was running for his life.

Not far behind, he heard Rey scream out as she began chasing him down again. Tears rushed to his eyes. Everything in him screamed to turn back and lash out at her, let the Force be driven by his frustration and fear. He had let it slip to gain some ground against her, but if he let himself use it again…he honestly did not know if he would be able to stop.

He didn’t want to believe her. He wanted to tell himself that everything she had been up until now was a lie. That she was just an evil, manipulative Sith huntress and there was no reason to like her, to appreciate her company, or trust her. If that were the case, all of this would be easier to take.

But he couldn’t. Something about her being scared and alone on Jakku…he _knew_ at least a part of that had been real. Some element of truth had been there. He felt it. She wasn’t the person she wanted him to think she was. There was more to this mysterious, powerful girl than she let on, more than she would ever want to expose. And as crazy as it sounded, Ben wanted answers as to who she truly was and how she had become a Sith. He wanted to know her more.

Instead, all he could do was run. He didn’t look back.

As he saw what appeared to be the hangar in the distance, a huge gust of wind nearly knocked him off his feet. Now he really was frozen to the bone. He held up his arm to cover his face, trying to protect it from all the snow and ice that had been picked up. When it cleared, Ben looked up and almost didn’t believe what he saw.

The _Odysseus_ was hovering right above him. He was looking up at the underbelly of his own ship. The ship continued to kick up strong gusts of snow, hurting Ben’s face and hands and making it hard to breathe. Part of Ben wanted to cry with relief that he was going to escape after all. The other part was already preparing to strangle Poe for coming back for him at their own risk.

Thinking fast, he ran to the starboard. He heard a shout above his head and glanced up. About fifty feet above him, an airlock popped open, from which Kate’s domed head appeared. She beeped cheerily at him as she fired a cable from one of her ejection tubes. The cable dropped down close to where Ben stood. He glanced back behind him to see Rey coming around the bend towards him. Her eyes, too, were brimming with tears and they shone with a mixture of emotions Ben couldn’t pinpoint at the moment. Perhaps she was as frightened as he was.

“Don’t you dare… _don’t you dare!_ ” she screamed at him.

He saw a word on her lips. Mouthed out in barely above a whisper. _Please_.

Surely he had just now imagined that. Why would she beg for him to stay? After all she had revealed herself to be, why not just gut him or take him down right now?

Before Ben could answer, an explosion hit the ground close to where Rey stood. She was knocked off her feet. Ben instantly knew that blast had been from one of _Odysseus’_ laser cannons. He turned and grabbed the cable, quickly tying it to one of his belt loops, then holding onto it with both hands. Kate began pulling him up. He kicked out his legs, pushing against the starboard side of _Odysseus_ to help steady himself. The laser cannon fired several more times. Ben heard trees being hit and knocked down, heard the roar of First Order ships coming their way.

When he reached the airlock, Ben dared glance over his shoulder, wanting to see what had happened to Rey. She was alive, on the ground, recovering from the attack. There was some blood on her face from where she had hit the ground and her skin was cut open, and her hands looked frozen as they were covered in snow. When their eyes met, he felt all the rage and hatred he felt for himself reflected in them.

Then he looked away and climbed inside the ship.

~

It was too late.

At the sight of the ship, she knew it was over. Even then, she had kept trying to run to him. Maybe with enough time she could cut the cable pulling him up, or even drag the ship down with all her power. But she didn’t. Rey had been knocked down too many times. She failed, and was left to freeze in the snow, nearly knocked unconscious. The assault of the laser cannons hadn’t killed her, but being knocked around by it made her feel like she had been nearly shaken to death, like all the teeth had been loosened from her skull and her limbs had turned to jelly. Ben Solo had given her one last look before he vanished, a look of pity that made Rey sick to her stomach.

She watched them go. Already, the First Order had deployed a few TIE-fighters after them. But Ben Solo was an excellent pilot. Starkiller Base had never been prepared for an escape from the inside, and that weakness had been thwarted. He was as good as gone. He was leaving. Leaving her.

Yet again, Rey had been left alone.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oof this is a heavy chapter, as a warning.  
> I really appreciate you folks who have stuck with this story this long. We're about halfway finished with Episode 7!  
> In this chapter I also mention Ben's deadname, which came to me based on what might have been the reasoning why he was named after 'Ben' Kenobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -R/PE/ABUSE (specifically a character is forced to relive flashbacks of r/pe as punishment)  
> -conversation about brainwashing/aftermaths of being brainwashed  
> -pregnancy and a traumatic (non-fatal) incident during a pregnancy  
> -misgendering and some minor transphobia, including mention of a trans person's deadname

Ben bolted for the cockpit. He was half-covered in snow, and as soon as he had a few seconds to spare, he was going to rip this damn jumpsuit off for good. He didn’t even stop to give K8 a quick hug before he ran inside, where he saw, for the first time in his life, someone else flying the _Odysseus._ Even in these circumstances Ben felt that instinctive impulse to protect his ship and get Poe away from his baby.

“ _Poe_!” he shouted. ”Make the jump to hyperspace, hurry!”

“Are you insane? We’re not even out of the planet’s atmosphere!” Poe snapped. His hands were shaking as he took control of the ship. TIE-fighters were closing in and opening fire on the hull. A few hits broke the surface, making the ship shudder slightly. _Odysseus_ had only just lifted off so her shields were not at maximum power yet.

“Anything slower than hyperspace can’t get through. Trust me, just do it!” Ben insisted.

Poe shook his head, but began setting the coordinates as quickly as he could. Ben grabbed the back of one of the chairs and held on.

“Okay…here goes…!” Poe pushed the lever forward. The snow, skies, and fighters vanished, and the ship was jettisoned through the atmosphere. The two pilots held on tight until _Odysseus_ was fully launched in hyperspace and they were safely away.

When the moment was over, Ben thought he was going to be sick. He collapsed in the chair and stared ahead at the viewport, the adrenaline rush leaving his body very fast and leaving him drained and empty. Poe seemed to have a similar reaction, only his was even worse. As soon as he had finished charting the ship’s course, his body gave out. He leaned back, holding his head and groaning with pain.

“Gods…you got a medpack around here or something?”

“Yeah…sorry.” Ben forced himself to get up and numbly headed to the nearest utility closet. As he did, he decided to check his pockets, since it had not even occurred to him at that point to find out what the First Order had taken off him while he was unconscious. His comlink, cigs, and other tools were gone, but of all things, the two bead necklaces he bought off the old woman at the Jakku outpost were still there. Now, they just reminded him of the girl from Jakku who had nearly got him killed. He kept the necklaces in his pocket, but threw the jumpsuit away before returning to the cockpit. There, he found Poe looked twice as worse now that the excitement was over. “Come on, Commander. Let me help you up.”

“Thanks…” Poe wrapped his arm over Ben’s shoulders. They headed to the nearest cabin on the floor, which was right next door to the one Rey had been using for their trip. Once inside, Ben helped him get on the bed. Poe sat up as he lightly dabbed the cuts on his face.

“Where do I need to take you to?” asked Ben.

“Naboo system. Resistance camp is there. And my droid.”

Ben nodded. Since they were in hyperspace, they would be safe from the First Order for now. But he planned to avoid the main hyperlanes for a good while when this blew over. All Ben wanted was to get Poe to the Resistance safe and sound, then be on his way. He could only hope neither of his parents were on Naboo or it would be all that more difficult to leave. Poe spoke up again as he began treating his facial injuries.

“So, uh, out of curiosity…what were you doing there, anyway? Did you get in hot water with the First Order?”

Ben opened the medpack and began handing him bacta patches. He also gave Poe a couple painkillers, then found a small bioscanner and held it over Poe’s torso to check for any internal injuries. Fortunately, nothing life-threatening came up on the scan. A couple bruised ribs and a few minor punctures, but nothing a little bacta couldn’t fix.

“Guess you could say that. I offered a ride to someone I really shouldn’t have.” Ben thought of the last look Rey had given him. The look of someone who was being abandoned, kicked aside like garbage. No matter how much he just wanted to be angry at her for what she did to him, there was something about that look in her eyes he was not going to forget anytime soon. It was going to haunt him.

But he hadn’t abandoned her. He was escaping danger, choosing survival over whatever cruel fate they had in store for him. So it was ridiculous to think that he had been abandoning the strange Sith girl from Jakku…right?

“I see. Can’t stay out of trouble no matter how hard you try, huh?” Poe laughed a little. Carefully, he peeled off his jacket and set it aside to be cleaned up later. He lifted his shirt to look at his bruised ribs and slapped on a couple more bacta patches.

Ben rolled his eyes, knowing that was supposed to be some reference to his family, how Poe must already have knowledge of the long history of trouble Han, Leia, and Luke had gotten into back in the day. He decided not to reply and tossed Poe a couple painkillers, which Poe accepted gratefully. He also grabbed a water bottle from the cabin’s mini-conservator. Poe washed down the painkillers and drank down a few gulps of water, not even caring that drops ran down his neck and soaked through his shirt.

“You know…” Poe began thoughtfully, “I don’t get why you don’t jump in and help us out.”

Ben stiffened at that. Somehow he had had a feeling this topic was going to come up.

“No thanks,” he muttered in reply.

“I’m serious. Your parents told me how good you are as a pilot. We can use guys like you. Granted, you’re not as good as _me_ , but…” Poe’s gaze lingered on him.

“Not now,” Ben cut him off. He knew what Poe was trying to do—get a rise out of him. Make him feel guilty that his family was out there fighting ‘the good fight’ while he was off doing whatever he wanted. Too bad Poe didn’t know the other half of that story—a story about parents who put their own careers over their only child. A story where a father pushed his child to be what he wanted him to be, and a mother who spent weeks at a time away at her campaigns and missions. A story where a young boy who was just beginning to feel severe dysphoria and isolation was sent away from home to train with his uncle, a timing that however coincidental could not have been worse. A story where no one believed you when you told them about the smiling monster that came to visit at night.

“Why not now? You just helped me escape, so the First Order will have you on their wanted list anyway. You might as well join us.”

Ben clenched his fists under the bedframe where Poe couldn’t see. He didn’t like being prodded like this. If Poe Dameron went too far, Ben’s temper might get the better of him. And he hated what he could be like when he was angry.

“I’m not a soldier like you. I don’t follow anyone, or anybody.”

Poe sat up a bit, his tone quickly turning bitter.

“So that’s it? You’re okay with just idling by while the galaxy goes to war? Of not doing anything to help?

“Don’t even try to guilt trip me. I’ve heard all of it before.”

“So is that a yes or—”

“Just shut it, okay?!” Ben snapped, hating the darkness in his tone.

Poe glared back at him, the tension in the room brewing to an almost unbearable degree. Ben looked at him and just saw someone who viewed the Skywalker-Solo-Organa family as an outsider, yet thought he knew everything there was to know about them. He knew what Poe wanted to see in him—a selfish, lazy lowlife who couldn’t care less about what his parents fought and sacrificed for. It was the same old thing over and over. Nobody really caring to understand the other side of the story. Everyone wanting to fit him into their own agenda or simple idea, rather than getting to know the real him. Everyone wanting something to gain from him and turning away when they realized he would not give it to them. _That_ was the other side of the story. But Poe Dameron, and Uncle Luke, and Mom and Dad and all of them didn’t want to hear that part of it.

“I need to go find my droids.” Ben stormed out of the cabin.

~

_Starkiller Base -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

The walk back to the Command Center overbridge empty-handed had been bad enough. Rey had never felt so embarrassed in her life, as she had to make her report that the two prisoners had escaped. Even with how frozen she was from the cold, her face burned deeply. She stared at her snow-covered boots that slowly formed a puddle of water on the formerly clean floor. The officers on duty glared her down. Rey didn’t need the Force to know exactly what they were thinking— _who did this girl think she was, appearing out of nowhere and suddenly acting like she owned the place, then letting three men escape with their own ship?_ Only General Pryde didn’t give her that glare of disdain; instead he leaned back in his chair with a small smirk, as she fumbled through telling them the bad news. He must have enjoyed seeing her so uncomfortable.

But compared to facing her Master, she would take the overbridge any day.

Rey knelt in front of Snoke’s hologram. She felt like she was going to throw up. She couldn’t even look him in the eye. Seeing the anger and disappointment in them would be too much to bear.

“I…I’m so, so sorry, Master. I didn’t—”

She was cut off by a sudden, horrible feeling. She felt cold—and it was nothing like the cold here on the base that made her shiver. This was cold in the way that corpses are cold. A cold that indicated there was no hint of life. Just the vast emptiness of death. The cold took the shape of humanoid hands, with one on each side of her head. Rey squeezed her eyes shut, tasting bile in the back of her throat.

“Master, no, please. _Not that_ ,” she whispered, shuddering with horror at what was happening to her. Another pair of hands clasped onto each of her arms, then another pair grabbed her chest. Rey closed her eyes tight, knowing what she would see if she opened them.

They were the hands of Sith Eternal leaders. All the people who had had their way with her, whether to punish her or reward them. Every hand on her was something she had already felt before. These were all the times she had been raped and abused—thoughts in her head taking physical form. Living memories all over her body, a reminder of her place and what happened if she was anything less than perfect. He was forcing her to relive all of it, over and over, to experience her lowest point. She was frozen on the spot, unable to move, unable to scream. All she could do was just lay there helplessly as the cold hands kept moving all over her.

 _“You have disappointed me greatly, my dear,”_ Snoke said quietly.

Rey’s stomach lurched but when she tried to throw up nothing came out since she hadn’t eaten in several hours; just a bit of spit and bile landed on the floor in front of her. Her stomach lurched again, forcing her to dry-heave. Her body trembled and chills ran through her veins from the pain.

“Please tell me how to fix it! Let me make it right!” Tears ran down her cheeks. Rey would have given anything in that moment to make it stop—she would have cut off her own hand with a knife, bitten her own fingers off, killed everyone in the Command Center, _anything_ at all just to make them _all_ _go away_ —

_“For now, you will stay here on Starkiller Base. I will have use for you yet.”_

That was _not_ what she wanted to hear. She’d much rather be sent out on the front, assigned a mission to kill or maim or other fun things. Rey was happiest and most content when she was active. Her master must know how much she wanted that right now, and she was being punished suitably. When she was forced to be idle, Rey was most miserable.

But being trapped here, on a planet where she didn’t know anybody and hated going outside and had nothing to do? She was going to go crazy…well, crazier. He knew her so well.

“But Master, I want to— _ahhh!_ ” Rey screamed in terror as more hands closed in on our body. So much cold, so much death. So much hurt and humiliation… _please, oh please I’ll do anything for you to leave me alone, please I’m so scared and I feel so bad and dirty I can’t take this—_

_“You know better than to argue with your master, don’t you, my sweet?”_

“Yes…yes, I’m sorry!” she cried.

Finally, that seemed to be enough for him. He let go, and the cold went away. She was back in the present.

But in the back of her mind, all those hands would still linger, deep within her subconscious and affecting her even when she wasn’t aware of it. As long as Snoke was with her, those memories would stay fresh and raw.

_“Good. Then you will stay here until I call you again. And Rey? Do not disappoint me again.”_

“I won’t, Master. I swear.” She clenched her jaw. But even now, she was already thinking of ways to make right what she had wronged, to get back what had been taken from her, and show everyone what she was capable of…even if doing so defied Snoke’s order to stay on Starkiller Base.

~

_The Unknown Regions -_ _Month 4, Day 15,_ _34 ABY_

When K8 saw Ben again she raced towards him, barreling right into his legs and knocking him backwards. Ben would have been angry, but he knew that K8 still struggled with recalling behavioral etiquette in interacting with people, so for all she knew a droid rushing at you was just as expected as a baby loth cat climbing into your lap. He landed hard on the floor, and instantly knew his ass was going to have a big bruise by tomorrow.

“Hey, Kate! Everything okay?” he said, wincing in pain from his fall.

[My bad, my bad!]

“No, it’s not your fault. None of this was your fault.” He caressed her domed head. “Now where’s Delta?”

Before he could answer, Ben heard the elevator door open behind him. The young stormtrooper walked in, carrying the seeker droid who lay limp in his arms. Delta had taken a hard blow to the head and photoreceptor, the metal dented in like someone had thrown the droid against a firm surface.

“Hey, uh…found this little guy above deck,” said the stormtrooper.

“Thank you. Set him down on the couch there and I’ll get to work on him.” Ben had fixed worse messes than Delta’s, so he wasn’t worried about getting his droid back up and running in no time. He watched the boy set down the droid carefully, studying him. Less than an hour ago Ben had been prepared to let himself die so Eight-Seven could have a chance at a life away from the First Order. He had to wonder just what it would have been like to be a stormtrooper, to be programmed from infancy and know no other life than that of a soldier. Ben worried that Eight-Seven would have a hard time adjusting away from the First Order. If it had been bad enough for him after leaving the Jedi Temple, how much more so for this boy.

“So, um…nice ship.” Eight-Seven glanced around, looking like he didn’t know what to do.

“You can sit down, you know.”

“Oh, right.” He picked one of the small plush chairs. After he sat down, Eight-Seven began unclipping his armor pieces and dropping them to the floor one by one. “I don’t suppose you have any use for these.”

“For plastoid? No. Just throw them in the disposal chute down the hall.” Now that things had finally calmed down, Ben realized he was quite hungry. Starving, actually. But first things first, he needed to take the edge off, both from the past several hours’ experience and his conversation with Poe. He grabbed a fresh pack of cigs from the kitchenette and lit one, enjoying the long drag. He felt Eight-Seven watching him with curiosity. “You want one?”

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke.” He held his hands in his lap, suddenly looking small and childlike. “So what do we do now? The First Order will be looking for us.”

“First, we’re dropping the Commander off with the Resistance. Then I’m back to my regular work. I’ve lost of a lot of time getting mixed up in this.”

“What about me?”

“You can do whatever you want.” Ben shrugged. Already, the nicotine effect was helping him feel a little better, the familiar smell and sensation easing his nerves.

That almost seemed to be the wrong answer. Eight-Seven flinched and squeezed his hands. His armor lay in a pile to the side and he was now down to just his black tunic, pants, and boots.

“That’s the trouble.” Eight-Seven sighed. His words came out forced, like he was trying to hold them back. The more he spoke the more his body curled in on itself and his throat began to sound choked up. “I have no idea what I want. I just ran away from…the only life I’ve ever known. It wasn’t a good life, but it was everything I had. Everything I knew. All I knew about myself was that I was a stormtrooper. And now I’m not anymore, so…I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be. I have…no idea who I am.”

Ben’s heart sank for the kid. Unfortunately, Ben was not the greatest at providing physical comfort or affection. So when he got up and patted Eight-Seven on the back, he felt no less awkward doing so than a protocol droid would. He managed to think of something to say that sounded somewhat helpful, however. By then Eight-Seven was struggling not to cry to the point that he was shaking.

“Well, lots of people go through life never really figuring out who they are and they turn out okay. You’ve just got to start small. One step at a time.”

“So what’s the first step?” he asked softly, fighting back more tears.

“You could start with…say, your name,” Ben said. “It’s not a huge thing. All you have to do is pick what you want people to call you. But it’s a good place to start. With getting a new sense of who you are, I mean.”

“I guess that makes sense…I never had a real name. Just FN-2187. I…I don’t even know what my new name would be.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to rush choosing it,” Ben said, feeling his heart ache as he began speaking from his own experience.

“But it needs to be a good name.” Eight-Seven looked up at him. “I can’t just…screw up and pick a really bad one. It needs to be _right_.”

“There’s no one right name. You just choose one to go by and if you like it, you make it the right name.” Ben put out his cig and lit another one.

He nodded and seemed to calm down a bit after that. Ben took that moment to give him some distance, and he headed to the kitchenette. Since he was too exhausted to cook he found a couple packets of instant meals and heated them up. Kate sent Poe his food since Ben was still too angry at him to see him, then brought Eight-Seven a meal as well. Meanwhile, Ben ate his meal in his own cabin, relishing that things were finally quieted down and at least a bit more back to normal now. He started thinking of work he could find on Naboo, as well as work he should get to on _Odysseus_ , until there was a small knock on the cabin door. It was Eight-Seven, who looked like he had let himself cry a bit but now had a small smile on his face.

“Mr. Solo?”

“Oh gods, call me Ben.”

“Right, um…Ben? Until I find the right name, I was thinking, I could just use part of my designation for now. F-N, or Finn.”

“Finn...yeah, not bad. I like it.” Ben smiled slightly.

“Yeah, me too,” said Finn.

~

_Keren, Naboo - Month 5, Day 17,_ _4 ABY_

Ren reached the city shortly after 0400 hours. She was glad she had chosen an outfit covered with a sealant material so that she did not get soaked through and was dried off in minutes. Now she could focus solely on the next phase of her mission.

As she carefully made her way through the city streets, Ren stuck to the shadows. Even at this hour a few cantinas were still open. Soft, glowing lights and easy-going music wafted from the windows out onto the cobblestone. Ren could have passed as a tourist heading back to a hotel or even a merchant enjoying the cool Naboo night air, but there was a reason she was not supposed to be seen. To this day, the only people who had seen her face were either on her side or they were no longer alive. And until her orders from the Sith Eternal changed, she intended to keep it that way. It was not time for her face to be made known to any of the enemy, but when it was, she intended to make her introduction as every bit as grand and unforgettable as she dreamed it would be.

Now and then, she passed some beautiful piece of architecture—a water fountain, a balcony, or a small garden. It was like walking on holy ground, seeing the sorts of structural beauty that Palpatine had grown up among. Even breathing in the air felt like it had its own spiritual power. Of course, the moment was too good to last long, and eventually Ren came upon a statue that she realized was that of the late Queen Amidala. The queen who actually let Humans and Gungans live in harmony together—the queen who destroyed Naboo’s long-respected value of segregation between species. Ren glared at the statue in disgust, wishing this mission wasn’t as covert so she could cut down the statue herself. Another quest for another time.

Fortunately, Ren had memorized Keren’s maps enough to know how to get to the abandoned districts the quickest way. After cutting past downtown, she hitched on top of a train that led to the outer residential neighborhoods, a move which alone saved her hours of travel. Another train ride, this time hanging onto one of the outside back rails where she could not be spotted, took her to the Keren outskirts. From there she could see the old streets where the survivors of D’Qar had made their camp. This part of the city was a reminder of just how old Keren was, and how many millennia the Humans on Naboo had had a civilized society. However, unlike the uptown of Keren where all the architecture was still preserved in near-perfect condition, many of these were either overgrown with local plants or had crumbled apart almost completely. Old mansions were now just skeletons of their former glory reclaimed by local nature, and most of the smaller buildings had been reduced to a couple walls surrounded by rubble.

Ren took a hiding spot outside what used to be an old temple that was surrounded by pillars so large three adult Humans could easily hide behind one. It did not take long to calculate how the Resistance had plotted their camp. She saw a few men on patrol, walking around the open clearing that used to be a main street. A few ships that were parked in a vacant lot. Clearly, they had not been expecting an attack, at least not this soon. And they certainly were not expecting an attack from the likes of her.

Ren pulled her hood over her head. It was time to make her move.

She grabbed her weapon and began to make her way closer to the encampment. An orange and white astromech droid would not be hard to find, especially for her. Just the thought of bringing the droid to Master Snoke filled her with another rush of pure adrenaline. She smiled slightly to herself as she walked down another narrow alley, her body pressed against the stone walls adorned with vines that tickled her exposed skin. Her scanner picked up a few lifeforms in the closest building, which was surprisingly in not bad condition—if the droid was in there, she could easily kill its protectors while they slept. And if it wasn’t in there, no one would discover the dead bodies until dawn. As much as seeing the terror and pain in their eyes as they died, Ren had to admit, there was also something to be said about leaving them there to be found hours later, and the horror their comrades would be struck with. No one would see her coming. No one would realize she had killed them and stolen the droid until it was too late.

Ren had planned her mission with the upmost care. She had memorized her route to the Resistance camp, the mark and makings of the droid carrying the datafile. However, despite all her planning and preparation, there was one element working against her, an element she was not even aware of.

The Resistance was not alone tonight.

Someone was up late watching over the evacuees, using abilities other than sight and sound to detect any potential intruders. Seeing and hearing what the Resistance troopers on patrol couldn’t. Someone remained hidden, meditating in the Force, away from the rest of the Resistance who were either sleeping, trying to sleep, or watching the skies for Star Destroyers that would never come. She was alone for now, secluded inside one of the abandoned buildings, her long staff in her lap. With every step Ren took closer to the camp, the more she sensed the Dark Side growing stronger and more of a threat.

Eventually, she decided it was time to face the intruder. She stood up, legs aching as she forced her old, weary bones to carry her again. She had been around for a long time and knew her days left in the physical realm were numbered, but she still had some fight left in her. In fact, with how well she had stayed in shape and taken care of herself, people were often surprised when she told them her real age. Those who remembered the days before the Clone Wars were dwindling. But she was still here, and still going relatively strong.

As she slowly gained speed in her steps, she drew two twin colorless lightsabers. The blades in question had a slightly curved hilt, and one of them, a shoto lightsaber, was shorter than the other.

Ren turned the corner and the two women saw each other for the first time. As Ren realized this was no ordinary enemy, she grabbed her weapon and ignited it. The magenta saber glowed in the dark, illuminating her piercing blue-green eyes

“I’ve heard the stories about you,” Ren said in a soft hiss. Strands of her red hair that had loosened from the braid fell over her face. “I thought you were dead.”

“Not yet. Sorry to disappoint.” The old Togrutan woman squinted into the pitch black of night, causing wrinkles to crease over the white markings on her face. Now she knew why the Force had called her to Naboo. She just hoped that after all these years, she still had enough fight left in her to do this.

As she watched Ren approach her, she moved her white lightsabers in a reverse Shien grip, then took another step forward, smiling slightly to herself.

~

_Interlude_

_Hanna City, Chandrila – 4 ABY_

Leia and Han had debated the unborn child’s name and gender ever since she learned she was pregnant.

Leia knew she would be happy either way. But even with the happiness came her own fears and doubts. Breha had been a wonderful mother and raised her well, but Breha raised Leia in much different circumstances and in a stable environment. She didn’t have all the resources her adopted mother did. On the other hand, Leia had her own history of trauma and horrors from the past four years of war that she had not dealt with. Instead she kept busy in the hopes that she could keep pretending she was okay. The moment someone asked her “How are you?”, and they really wanted to know and weren’t just being polite, was the moment she was going to fall apart, so Leia was never going to let that happen. She was going to keep working, keep smiling, never stop once to process the things she had gone through. Deep down Leia knew that wasn’t a healthy way to live, but she was terrified of stopping, of letting the carefully constructed dam fall apart. Breha hadn’t been that way. Breha had let herself feel through her emotions. Leia wished she had that in her, and yet, it was incredible how much a few short years could fuck up a person so badly.

But she hoped it was all just the regular anxiety of being a first-time parent. That once the child was born it would all clear up and they could be a happy, normal family. That she wouldn’t be as terrible of a mother as she already imagined she would be. She had already given up her very brief Jedi training so she could be more present in the Senate and in her family. But she had to wonder if that would be good enough. Would _she_ be good enough?

Less than two months into the pregnancy, Leia had begun to feel her child’s presence in the Force. The baby’s own light and darkness were taking shape as they developed in the womb, and the beginnings of their own personality began to shine through—what they liked, what they hated, what calmed them down and what got them excited. It made her so happy she almost forgot to be afraid of motherhood.

In fact, were it not for that one particular horrific night, the pregnancy would have gone almost flawlessly.

It was the beginning of the tenth week, to be specific. Leia had had a nightmare—and it was much worse than the ones of her watching Alderaan blow up, or seeing Han frozen in carbonite, or seeing soldiers die horribly all around her. This was the sort of nightmare that came from the Force—a nightmare not of things that had already happened, but something that was happening _right now_.

She dreamed of a shadow with an evil smile—the smile of Emperor Palpatine she had seen in so many holograms—holding a large knife above her. She dreamed of said knife plunging into her womb and stabbing her child. She heard the screams of the unborn baby, as Emperor Palpatine pulled them out of her. Her own blood pooled around her paralyzed body as the Emperor laughed and laughed and the baby gurgled their death throes.

When Leia woke up from the nightmare, there was a sharp, severe pain in her stomach, and she could feel the baby’s terror in the Force. She woke up Han and sobbed to him,

“There’s something wrong! _Someone is trying to kill the baby_!”

The pain grew worse over the next few minutes, to the point that it truly did feel like she was being gutted with a knife. Leia, normally able to hold herself together in extreme stress, was in hysterics. Feeling the baby’s own fear made hers even worse. She screamed at her husband to help her, to do _something_ to save them. The couple rushed to the emergency ward of the nearest medbay without even changing out of their nightclothes. They gave Leia painkillers, then ran some tests. Much to the Organa-Solo’s relief, the baby was fine. No damage could be detected, and all vital signs read as normal. By the time they drove back home, the pain in her stomach was completely gone. Even so, Leia did not go back to sleep. She couldn’t.

Leia told her brother about the nightmare when she saw him again, but since the baby was okay they dismissed it as a bad dream coupled with some sort of side effect of the pregnancy. Even so, Leia would never forget the horror she felt that night—feeling that someone who should have been dead was reaching out through the Dark Side, and killing her baby while they were still inside her. It would be days before she got more than an hour’s sleep again.

Fortunately, after that episode Leia’s bond with the baby only grew stronger. She kept in strong touch with their emotions. Maternal instincts aside, the Force helped Leia feel when the baby was happy, or afraid, or confused. It was almost a telepathic communication they had with each other. A very beautiful, unique form of intimacy that Leia couldn’t explain but cherished more than anything.

One morning, some weeks later, Leia decided to play some soft classical music while she worked at her holocomputer. She felt her baby’s initial curiosity at the new sound, then a growing sense of joy and bliss. Then, without even realizing it, she thought to herself, _He likes listening to this music. He’s happy._

When it dawned on her what had happened, she cried with happiness. Right then, Leia knew she was going to have a son. The Force, somehow, had told it to her subconsciously. She did not tell Han because he didn’t want to know until the baby was born, so she kept it as her own special secret. But Leia got to tell herself for the next few months, _I’m going to have a son. It’s a boy…it’s a boy._

Several months later, she went to the birthing chamber mere hours after witnessing the signing of the Galactic Empire’s official surrender. Despite the pain and exhaustion, Leia couldn’t wait to meet her baby boy at last and hold him, touch his little head and kiss him all over. She was in labor for two whole days and towards the end she was delirious with exhaustion and all the painkillers. Thus, the first words out of the medical droid could not have stunned her more.

“What lucky parents! It’s a girl!”

 _What? But…that can’t be right. The Force told me it was a boy…_ Leia thought. She had been so sure she was right. She had felt it as surely as she had felt the baby’s emotions. But her confusion did not take away any of her happiness. She finally had her child and she would love them no matter what their gender was. And so, she took the infant girl in her arms and named her in honor of the heroine who had helped bring the Rebel Alliance a new hope in their most desperate hour. For years, Leia could only assume that she had been wrong, that the Force had simply misunderstood. It made no sense, but it was the only explanation she could find. So she dismissed it as some trick in the air or her own intuition failing her, and she watched little Jyn Organa grow up.

Han, meanwhile, was on cloud nine over having a baby girl to spoil and dote over. In the early years, Han watched over her like a hawk, always buying her treats and taking her on trips with him in his ship. He taught Jyn all he knew about ships and space travel, and his returns home to Chandrila after another mission brought so much delight back in their house. Chewbacca, Luke, and Lando were as present in Jyn’s life as they could be between their own work they had to do. Leia did her best to balance her life as Senator, wife, and mother. And for a while, it seemed to work out. For the early years, things seemed okay in the Organa-Solo household. Things seemed…normal.

Then one day, when Jyn was about nine or ten years old, she approached her parents and told them news that struck Leia much the same way Luke’s revelation of their sibling relationship did. Somehow, she had always known. She had just not fully understood it until then.

Because she had known this, in a sense. She had felt her son’s spirit in the Force long before Ben, then known as Jyn, learned about his gender identity. Long before he began to feel the emotional pain of his dysphoria. Long before he came out to his parents just a few months shy of being sent away to train at the Jedi Temple.

But by then, it was too late to tell Han she had always known who Ben was, however subconsciously. It was too late to help him understand that the Force had given her a sign of who her child was long before anyone would figure it out. Han did not want to hear anything about the Force ‘telling’ Leia she had a transgender son, much less hearing her use that as reasoning to support Ben in his transition. Instead, he wanted to keep believing he simply had a daughter that was having an identity crisis. He hadn’t grown up knowing such things could happen, much less what it meant to be a supportive or accepting parent. The news overwhelmed him and Han blamed everyone for that except himself. He even decided to bring up that one night with the nightmare and strange stomach pains—perhaps, he said, whatever happened that night was to blame for their daughter believing she was a boy. Perhaps damage _had_ been done to the baby and now they were reaping the consequences for not seeing it sooner.

That, Leia would later realize, was the beginning of the end.


	19. Chapter 19

_Chommell Sector -_ _Month 4, Day 18,_ _34 ABY_

Ben was having another nightmare.

The shadow with the mask followed him down one of the long hallways in Starkiller Base. The shadow was illuminated by a large red saber, which made the eyes of its mask glow, reminding Ben of the ‘eye’ of an ID9 seeker droid’s photoreceptor—a machine, lifeless, programmed to obey its master. Ben ran down the metallic floor, past lights that burned his eyes when he looked at them. With each step the walls grew higher and higher, reaching up to a ceiling that seemed increasingly far away. But no matter how much he ran or how far, whenever he glanced over his shoulder the shadow was right behind him. It was a part of him that he could never quite escape, a potential that was always right behind him.

In the shadow’s mask, Ben saw the reflection of every little moment in his life where he had seen glimpses of that same darkness. Moments in training where he went too far in sparring practice, or he found himself pulled to the dark in his meditations. Moments when he felt the Dark Side tingling at his fingertips, the power to kill just out of reach and waiting for him to be weak enough to succumb to it. And of course, the scary man who appeared to him when he was a little child—standing over his bed at night and whispering horrible things Ben did not understand at the time. He tried to tell his parents about it, but they didn’t understand. Ben used to think they just didn’t care and couldn’t wait for him to outgrow his childhood fears. One day the scary man stopped appearing, but then he met Vader years later in his dreams.

All his life, Ben Solo had been haunted by darkness. And he could never quite run fast enough.

As he kept running in the dream, the hallway began to slowly narrow, like the walls were closing in on him. Like in all dreams when one is running from something, he could never quite gain a steady footing on the ground. He constantly felt like he was about to slip or that he just couldn’t go at full speed.

Ben looked down at the floor, so clear it reflected his face right back at him. Except it wasn’t his face, but a mask much like Vader’s. _His_ mask.

 _You can’t run from who you are,_ said Vader’s voice.

Ben turned around and looked at the shadow. Vader loomed over him, bigger than he must have been in real life. When Vader spoke, the voice was coming from inside his own head, so loud it hurt.

_Don’t you see? The sooner you accept who you are, and accept where you come from…the sooner you will stop being haunted. It’s the only way to stop the pain you feel._

He wanted to scream at the shadow to go away, but when he opened his mouth no sound came from his throat. He was being lifted in the air by an invisible hand. Now it wasn’t just that Ben could not scream, but his body was frozen in place. All he could do was look at Vader’s mask as it bore into him, looking into every one of his worst fears. Not of what Vader could do to him, but what Ben could do to others. He saw millions, billions of people terrorized across the galaxy because of him. Families torn apart, worlds destroyed, habitats massacred, stars exploding never to be seen again…because of him.

_The monster who haunted the galaxy for decades…lives in you. His blood courses in you._

_Stop fighting who you are, young Solo. Just let the Dark Side in._

As most of the nightmares before, this one ended with Vader’s cloak enclosing in on him, like a cocoon. The hallway vanished around him until he was all alone in the pitch black and the cold. He was swallowed up, unable to escape his fate, screaming utter silence.

But this time, something happened in the nightmare that was new to Ben. In fact, it happened so briefly that were it not in such stark contrast from the rest of the ream, he would have forgotten about it completely.

For the slightest moment, somewhere from within the complete darkness, Ben saw a small glowing light. It hovered there, like it was in flight, then separated into two identical forms of light that met together at the middle. The light fluttered slightly, small and emitting a sense of warm and calm that Ben had never felt in his dreams before.

Ben saw one small butterfly—blue, and glowing—behind Vader’s mask. And then he woke up.

~

_Keren, Naboo - Month 5, Day 17, 3_ _4 ABY_

Rose Tico startled awake at the sound of a loud crash outside. At first, it terrified her—bringing her back to the memories of hiding in a bunker with her family as their home was shelled by the First Order, explosions shaking the earth every other second for hours and hours. Then Rose remembered that she and Paige were not on Hays Minor anymore, that they hadn’t been for several years, and that she was currently on Naboo.

She got up to investigate the noise outside. It was cold and she clasped her blanket around her as she crept up to the window. Her heart still pounded from the initial shock of being woken up like that—Rose was easily startled by any sudden, loud noises, and still couldn’t handle fireworks. As she looked outside, she placed her hand on the old stone that had been built hundreds of years ago, feeling it scratch slightly at her skin.

Seconds later, she ran back to her sister, who was still asleep.

“Paige…Paige, wake up! You’ve got to come see this!”

Her sister, equally as much of a light sleeper, bolted awake and ran to the window.

“What is it? Is it the wolves?” Paige asked eagerly. Of course, Paige the animal lover would ask that. Wolves on Naboo could sometimes get to be as tall as an adult Human male, and were feared as much as they were respected by the locals. They had spoken of a few packs that sometimes wandered close to the abandoned districts, searching for scavenger animals to hunt. Apparently, a few troopers saw a pack of them while on patrol yesterday. But Paige had yet to see a Naboo wolf in person, and desperately wanted to. Rose couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“Uh, sorry, no. It’s something better, though,” said Rose. “Look!”

What they saw was something that, up until just now, would have been something they only saw in figments of their imagination. What they saw was an image conjured up by stories told around the campfire, whispered among Cobalt Squadron and the other maintenance workers—the stuff of old legends that you hoped, deep down, had some spark of truth hidden away.

Two women were standing between eighty to a hundred feet apart from each other, outside in an open clearing of what used to be a town square. One was a Human with long red hair in a braid and black clothing; were it not for her hair she would have been near impossible to see in the shadows. A magenta-colored lightsaber illuminated her face, which Rose would have found quite beautiful were she not so terrified in that moment. She held the weapon in one hand, and her other hand was extended out as far as she could reach, like she was grasping at the air. As for the other woman, she was a much older Togrutan in a flowing pale robe, wielding two white lightsabers. Her long montrals were white and blue striped. There was a large jagged scar going down her left montral where the hollow horn had been deeply cut into and had not healed evenly.

And hovering right between the two women was a giant piece of rubble—part of the wall of one of the many ancient buildings. It was easily the size of two landspeeders, if not three. It floated about twenty feet off the ground.

“Are those…Jedi?” Rose whispered. She remembered the stories of the Jedi, great warriors with magic powers. Warriors who wielded glowing swords and could make objects move with their mind. It wasn’t until Rose joined the Resistance that she had learned those stories were true—that the heroes whose stories Paige told her every night to help her fall asleep had actually existed. Heroes like Luke Skywalker, who saved the Rebel Alliance—Anakin Skywalker, an extremely powerful fighter prophesized to be the Chosen One—Mace Windu, a wise and mysterious general during the Clone Wars. All of them had been real. They had had hopes, dreams, and fears, just like Rose and her sister. Some in the Resistance whispered that one day Luke Skywalker, who was still alive somewhere in the galaxy, would return and help bring back peace.

“Maybe…” Paige whispered back. “I don’t know. You remember the stories about the Sith?”

“The what?”

“They were like Jedi, but…evil. Used their powers for dark deeds. I wonder if…”

The piece of rubble suddenly shot forward towards the old Togrutan, hurdling like it had been thrown by a giant. Both sisters cried out in alarm. There was no time to help the old woman out of the way in time; she was going to be crushed to death and all they could do was watch.

And then, at the very last second, the woman disappeared out of the way. No, not disappeared—she had jumped back with an unnatural speed.

Rose gasped. She remembered that was another thing the Jedi could do—move their bodies at lightning speed, jump through the air at incredible heights and distances. The old Togrutan landed on her feet a distance from where the rubble had smashed to smithereens on the ground. She stood up straight again, wincing a bit but Rose quickly got the impression that there was much more to this woman than first meets the eye.

The woman with the magenta lightsaber moved her hand, and other objects lifted around her—rocks, pieces of abandoned speeders and ships, clumps of brick and cobblestone. To Paige’s simultaneous horror and awe, the objects began spinning around the woman, forming a sort of cyclone of debris. A moment later it all hurdled right at the Togrutan. She raised her arms up, still holding onto the lightsabers, and the cyclone shattered. She didn’t even have to extend her arms all the way out like the Human woman did; it would have taken more energy for someone to knock over a cup of water.

“We should go help her!” Rose grabbed her sister by the arm.

Paige glanced at her. She looked just as equally scared but in wonder of the scene.

“I…don’t think she _needs_ our help,” she replied.

As if to prove Paige’s words, the Togrutan leaped forward and landed right in front of the Human woman. The lightsabers clashed in a brilliant, simmering explosion. The Togrutan crossed her sabers in an X-shape, blocking an onslaught of blows from the magenta lightsaber. They moved at incredible speed, parrying and slashing and spinning.

Rose rushed outside before her sister could stop her. She wanted to get closer. By then, other Resistance troopers had spotted the duel and responded quickly. Some lingered by out of curiosity. Others alerted command while checking the perimeters of their hideout, fearing this was an ambush or the beginning of an attack. As for Rose, she watched the two women while they dueled. Her heart pounded with excitement at what she was seeing.

The Human woman was much faster, more agile, cutting down ruthlessly. Magenta light whirled around her in a blur as she kept advancing on her opponent. The Togrutan, however, matched every attack with a corresponding parry or counter. Almost as if she was seeing her opponent’s move a split second before they happened. Their lightsabers met over and over, making the night air tingle with energy. They moved like professional dancers in their own lethal ballet, moving around the old city ruins so fast Rose could barely see it. As she watched in awe, The Togrutan jumped over her opponent’s head and landed behind her to strike. The Human woman hissed at her and their lightsabers met again, each using all their strength to push harder against the other.

“You…you should have gone out with the rest of the Jedi!”

The Togrutan grinned, in spite of her efforts to keep up in the duel. Their faces were inches away from each other. Even with the Togrutan’s montrals making her quite taller, she was much older, more worn and weathered, like she had been through many wars.

“You must be mistaken, kid. I haven’t been a Jedi in a long time. That is… _very_ old news.”

“I’m not a kid. My name is _Ren_ ,” she hissed, then smiled. “If the news is that old then killing you should be easy.”

They broke apart and walked around each other, breathing hard.

“Yeah, you’d think,” the Togrutan laughed. They clashed again.

And then, it seemed there was an opening. Rose watched as the Human woman—Ren—thrust her free hand forward. The Togrutan was shoved back by an invisible force, flying through the air. She fell back a good eighty feet until her back hit the wall of a large, old pillar. With a loud _crack_ that made Rose’s teeth ache, she collapsed to the ground and laid still. Rose gasped, thinking the impact had killed her.

Just as Rose was wondering if she should go run over to her, Ren turned and looked right at her. Her eyes lit up. And suddenly Rose remembered she should be afraid. Her magenta saber hummed as a gust of wind pulled more loose strands of her red hair from her face. She began walking towards Rose.

“ _You_ ,” Ren said in a tone that made Rose freeze in terror. “You know where the droid is.”

 _Ohhh crap,_ thought Rose.

“What droid?” she asked, even though she already knew it was pointless to lie.

“Oh, don’t give me that. You think I’m that stupid?” She stepped closer and let the tip of her lightsaber dip down to the ground. Sparks flew up around the blade.

Rose jumped back, startled. Who was this woman? How did she know about Commander Dameron’s droid? She glanced back at the Togrutan—she was slowly getting up from the ground, but for the first time she was starting to show her age. Blood ran down the side of her head and from between her lips.

“Hand over the droid and nobody has to get hurt.” Ren smiled.

From the corner of her vision Rose saw her older sister catch up beside her.

“Stay back from my sister! I don’t know who you are, but you’d better get out of here, now,” Paige said.

“Oh, is that so?” She spun her lightsaber. Paige grabbed a blaster and aimed it at her.

Rose saw several Resistance troopers rushing toward Ren as well, drawing their weapons. Most of the camp was fully alert by now, awoken by the lightsaber duel. But Ren did not seem intimidated at all by them, even as they surrounded her. She ignored the shouts to drop her weapon and surrender, and the threats that they would open fire. Rose was too scared to move a muscle.

Meanwhile, the Togrutan pulled herself up to her knees. Her legs shook, but she was able to stand up again. She grabbed her sabers where she had dropped them in her fall, and she ignited them once again. Rose couldn’t help but stare, feeling a sort of amazement at the sight. Whoever this woman was, she had been a warrior for a long time, had survived many battles and seen many things. Someone like her must have endless stories of all her adventures across the galaxy, all the places she had seen and all the people she had met.

Rolling her eyes, Ren turned around to face her again.

“You just don’t give up, do you?”

Instead of raising her weapons again, the Togrutan clipped them to her belt, stood at full height, and closed her eyes. She opened her hands, her palms facing the sky, as if holding an invisible object in front of her. Her whole stance suggested a wave of calmness had washed over her. As if the enemy had completely disappeared. The two Tico sisters glanced at each other in utter confusion.

Ren began walking towards her. Slow at first, as if to give her a chance.

“What are you doing? Come on and fight. At least give yourself the honor of not dying unarmed!” Ren snapped.

When the Togrutan didn’t respond, Ren swung her saber in front of her and broke out into a run. Rose grabbed her sister by the arm. Ren was clearing the distance between the two of them fast. Rose wanted to do something to help, but what could she do? There was no way she could stop a warrior like Ren.

Someone pointed down the street and shouted,

“Look!”

Ren didn’t turn at first. But then they all heard it…it sounded like rumbling at first. Then Rose realized it was the sound of running, feet pattering against the cobblestone. She turned and looked.

The Togrutan, with eyes still closed, gave a small smile. Rose heard her sister whisper beside her,

“Wolves…”

Sure enough, around the bend Rose saw a large pack of Naboo wolves running in unison into the town square. Their fur glistened in the moonlight, making it appear slightly blue tinted. The wolves varied in color and size, Rose realized, mostly with coats of white, gray, or black, but a few others had a reddish or even purplish tint. A few were as small as the average domesticated dog, but some were as tall as a Human male, if not taller. And they were headed right for Ren.

“What the…” She snarled and pointed her lightsaber at them. “What did you do?!”

Eyes still closed, and palms still raised, the Togrutan just gave her opponent a small smile.

“Oh, just asked my friends for help. That’s all,” she said so softly Rose barely heard her.

The wolves closed in, circling around Ren. Huge fangs bared; claws scratched against the old cobblestone; eyes flashed in the darkness. The largest wolf—pitch black fur and brilliant bright blue eyes—rushed towards her and snapped his jaws at her. Ren slashed her saber at the wolf, but he slipped out of the way. The second time she slashed, she managed to cut one wolf down, but that just seemed to anger the rest of the pack. They formed a circle around her; there had to be at least three dozen of them, clamoring over each other as if each wanted to get a chance to attack. Ren bared her teeth back at them. But even though she did not show them any fear, she was completely surrounded by them, so focused on holding them off that she couldn’t get in an opening to fight back or break through. Rose glanced at the other troopers, all of whom were just as stunned as she was. None of them knew whether to be relieved, excited, terrified, or all three.

As for Ren, she seemed to quickly figure out she was in over her head. Wolves jumped on her from behind and from the front, forcing her to move around in a circle just so she wasn’t killed. Screaming out with rage, she hacked the nearest wolf apart with her lightsaber, then broke into a dead run. She pushed out through the pack, which gave her just enough space to keep running. The wolves snapped and bit, but in seconds, Ren was away from the town square and the Resistance encampment. She shouted something over her shoulder that Rose didn’t catch. Then, as quickly as she had come, the attacker was gone into the night.

The Togrutan, meanwhile, stood up to full height again. The pack of wolves, now calmed down, gathered around her as calm as a herd of cattle. The large pitch black male wolf even moved closer to her and sniffed at her open hand. Rose’s stomach dropped. Paige squeezed her hand tight and whispered,

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

“I think so…?” Rose said breathlessly. As the Resistance stared in silence, the wolf pack slowly turned and left, first at a walk then slowly picking up their pace until they had run back out into the wilderness. The Togrutan watched them until they had disappeared around the bend, then slowly walked up to the Resistance, who looked at her like she was a ghost. Tension rose in the air from the uncertainty of who this woman was and whose side she was really on. Someone finally spoke up and asked who the hell she was.

“Me? My name is Ahsoka Tano,” she answered.

“You saved us from her,” Rose said loud enough for those around her to hear. “She was sent here by the First Order and you came here to stop her…why?”

“Why? Because I _could_ stop her, silly.” Ahsoka Tano smiled at her. “Now, I’m feeling a bit winded from that fight. Would anyone mind making me a hot cup of tea?”

~

_Chommell Sector -_ _Month 4, Day 18,_ _34 ABY_

When he woke up, Ben was in a cold sweat and he was lightheaded. He sat up in his bed, looking around his cabin. He had left the lights on by accident and he was still wearing the clothes he wore yesterday. When he checked the time he discovered he had been asleep for only four hours.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept through the whole night.

Ben held his head as the fears from the nightmare slowly dissipated from his consciousness. They had been traveling to Naboo for couple of days now. After discussing their route with Poe, Ben opted to only take the Enarc Run after running multiple reports and finding no confirmed First Order traffic on that route. He hoped that the less likely they could be spotted on anyone’s sensors, the longer it would take for the First Order to find them. By a quick glance at the navicomputer, Ben noticed they were already in the Chommell sector, which meant they would be closing in on Naboo within the hour.

No reports of First Order activity in this region, based on what Ben found when he did his due research. For now, it seemed, this part of the galaxy was still living in peace.

Although considering what they had seen back on what used to be Ilum, Ben had to wonder how much longer peace was going to last.

He sighed and got out of bed. He decided to pick up his comlink and contact his mom. Even though Poe was working on an official report about Starkiller Base to send up to Resistance High Command, Ben felt the need to tell her himself. After all, he was at fault for bringing the First Order their Sith-in-training there, and who knows what that entailed. No matter how much he hated it, he had a personal stake in this; she needed to hear the report from him.

Ben waited for her to pick up, staring at the state of his cabin. He had been planning to clean up while on Jakku, but then he met the girl and his plans changed and she had somehow distracted him enough during their trip to keep him away from cleaning. It was a mess. _He_ was a mess.

Finally, an answer came through and he heard his mom’s voice.

_“Ben! Oh thank gods, you finally answered. I’ve been trying to reach you for days!”_

That woke him up. Ben was alert now, cursing to himself. Of course with everything going on lately he would have forgotten to check for any missed calls. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Then he recognized the urgency in her tone. She wasn’t just angry that he had been offline—she had been trying to tell him something important. And now she was really pissed off. _Even more stupid._

“Sorry…sorry. What’s wrong?” he asked.

_“There’s something you need to know. It’s about the First Order.”_

Ben felt dizzy all of a sudden. Like something very horrible was about to happen, and all he could do was watch it unfold in front of him.

“Yeah, I was actually going to say the same thing…”

~

Less than half an hour later, Ben joined his two passengers in the main hull. Poe, who had refused to be bedridden any longer than the absolute bare minimum, had quickly jumped in to help around the _Odysseus_ as soon as he was mostly caught up on sleep. Even though he still hadn’t fully recovered from his injuries from interrogation, he’d be caught dead sitting around doing nothing. He had been keeping an eye on things while Ben repaired Delta and then got some shut-eye. As for Finn, he was content to, for the first time in his life, be encouraged to not do anything productive and just enjoy himself—browsing the holofilm library on board, play video games, or just lie in his cabin and nap the hours away during their travel. Ben had also walked in on K8 teaching Finn how to make Brualki brisket. The kid hadn’t had another meltdown yet and was holding up well. But they all knew one thing for certain—this was the calm before the storm.

At the moment Poe was keeping an eye on the ship’s main controls, while Finn was sipping on a milkshake as he watched a pre-recorded holonet show. Both of them glanced up when Ben entered the room. Finn switched off the holovision.

“I just talked to my mom. She told me about…”

“About what the First Order’s planning?” Poe finished.

Ben’s face went hot; he glared at the pilot.

“So you knew this whole time? And you didn’t bother to tell me?”

“Hey, your mom said _she_ was going to tell you, so I thought you knew.”

“Well, I didn’t.” Ben collapsed in a chair, still casting Poe side glances. He was already in enough trouble as it was with escaping the base on Ilum. But the First Order’s plan to destroy the new Jedi Order—aka, Operation Supernova—changed things. It meant that the only thing keeping Ben off their most wanted list was the fact that his previous identity as a Jedi was not known to the public. Leia had been sure of that to keep her son safe from any remaining anti-Jedi sympathizers. But if the First Order ever learned that he could directly lead them to the Jedi Temple…

He had to keep running. He’d have to stick to low-key jobs, nothing that could be found in official docking bay or fueling station logs. He might have to take jobs outside the law just to stay afloat. But at this point, what other choice did he have? Right now, his only shot at staying alive was by staying as far away from the First Order as possible. Away from their armies, their threats…away from the Sith girl. In fact, now her presence in the First Order made sense. Of course, they’d want to get rid of the Jedi if the Sith were helping them.

“And did you tell her about…what we saw back there?” Poe asked, pulling Ben out of his thoughts.

“Of course I told her,” Ben snapped. “Not that it matters. I told you everything I know about the base and it’s all going in your report. Anyway, as soon as we get to Naboo I’m still leaving.”

“So it doesn’t change anything?” Poe asked.

“Of course, it doesn’t. I’m not taking any chances.”

Poe gave him a dirty look—yet another in a long sequence of dirty looks Poe had been shooting him during the whole trip. In addition, Ben had caught him rolling his eyes or shaking his head every time Ben so much as implicated his plans after dropping Poe off with the Resistance. Well, let him be that way. They were going to get away from each other in less than an hour anyway. Ben tousled his hair and looked away from him, clenching his fists.

Finn cleared his throat, trying to clear up the awkward silence in the room.

“So, Mr. Solo, who is your mom anyway?”

“Only General Leia Organa herself. No big deal,” Poe answered before Ben could.

“Wait, I thought she was a princess.”

“She was. Then the Galactic Empire destroyed her home planet. She served in the Rebellion until the end of the war, then became a Senator for the New Republic just like her father before her. And now she’s a General in the Resistance, fighting the good fight yet again. So, princess, then senator, _then_ general.”

“Wow, that’s a lot of titles. I didn’t know your mom was so famous!” Finn looked at Ben and smiled brightly, like a kid who had just been given a Little Mynock Airscooter.

 _Kid, you don’t know the half of it,_ Ben thought. He dreaded what this kid would have to say if he learned of Ben’s relations to his dad or uncle. It was the last thing he needed right now.

“Is she on Naboo? Will I get to meet her?” Finn asked, almost about to jump up with excitement.

“Afraid not. She’s still on Hosnian Prime. But once we have a more secure base she’ll be there. If you join us, you’ll probably meet her at some point.”

Ben rolled his eyes. Of course, Poe was going to try to get Finn to join up. Typical.

“On the other hand,” Ben interjected, “the chances of a new trooper running into High Command are slim. If not impossible.”

Poe glared at him again.

“And _yet_ , Finn here has lots of great insight into the First Order’s armies that I’m sure your mom would love to hear personally.” Poe forced a smile and looked to Finn.

“I’m pretty sure the last thing he wants is to be in an army all over again. I mean, he just got out.” Ben wasn’t sure if he was really fighting to keep Finn out of danger or just if he was that unable to turn down a fight from Poe.

“It would be an improvement over being stuck giving rides to Core Worlds bourgee, that’s for sure.”

Ben bit his tongue. Oh, that crossed a line.

“Um…well, I’m still not sure what I want to do exactly…” Finn slurped his milkshake.

Then, before things could get really heated, Delta came to the rescue by approaching from the cockpit.

“Captain, we are coming up on the Naboo system. We will begin the landing sequence in T-minus 15 minutes.”

“On my way.” Ben got up and had to use self-control not to stomp out of the room. He couldn’t wait to finally get away from Dameron. Away from all of this. Once in the cockpit, he carefully took _Odysseus_ out of hyperspace. The planet of Naboo—striped teal, blue, and white—loomed at him, a beautiful sight after a long journey. Looking at the time, Ben realized the sun was just coming up on the side of Naboo they would be landing on. Slowly they entered the atmosphere and he followed the traffic pattern provided by the Resistance. They began to descend over the Gallo Mountain, a chain that appeared like small snowy ridges from this high up. It was still mostly dark out, but dawn was coming.

He had never been to Naboo before. But ever since he learned about his maternal grandmother, the mention of the planet was never the same for him. Along with his mother—and later himself—learning about their relation to Darth Vader, she had also figured out that her mother had been Padmé Amidala, Queen and later Senator of Naboo. That was honestly all Ben knew about her. Amidala had had some mentions of the basic history lessons he had been taught over the years, and those were almost always about her union of the Human Naboo and Gungan societies into one, ending millennia of prejudice and segregation. However, he had never taken the time to study that part of his heritage. Now, it was staring him in the face, almost literally—Naboo, the planet where many things began that would change his life forever. An ancient world rich with culture and arts, with most of its landscape still left untouched. Ben wanted to be thrilled to come here. He wanted to feel joy at the chance to connect with this part of his bloodline—the young queen who saved her planet.

As they began to enter the Naboo atmosphere, Ben felt something that made him stop. He had not felt something like this in a very long time. There was a feeling in the air like a cold rush of water, a deep breath of fresh air. He knew what it was as soon as it happened. Even though he had worked tirelessly to keep himself closed off from the Force, it could still try to reach out to him all the same. And right now, something or someone was trying to get his attention.

Light was coming from Naboo. He could feel it, no matter how much he tried to shut it away. Like a voice you didn’t hear so much as felt its whisper in your head, in your heart.

The Force…the Light…it was calling to him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -transphobic rhetoric

_Starkiller Base – Month 5, Day 18, 34 ABY_

Enric Pryde stood beside the entrance to Rey’s chambers. Snoke had had her own place set aside in the Command Center, where she could be close by to carry out her orders. It was halfway down a hall that led to the personal chambers of others assigned to command on Starkiller Base, and it included the basic commodities Pryde and his peers also had—its own refresher, a control panel, and a large walk-in closet. But Rey’s was much simpler; it did not have the little luxuries Pryde had. She had no private bar or plush sofas. Instead, all the things First Order High Command had for aesthetic purposes had been stripped away in Rey’s chambers. Her furniture was bare, hardly appearing comfortable, and the room had no decorations to make it a more welcoming to spend one’s hours on leave. She only had what was essential—not even so much as a small plant in the corner. It looked more like a prison cell.

Pryde knew all this of course, because he was looking right at her as she slept.

What Snoke and Pryde knew, and Rey didn’t, was that Rey had much less privacy than she thought. Under Snoke’s orders, the room had been installed with walls with a see-through tech that could be activated with a simple control only Pryde had access to. Usually one only saw this sort of tech in high-level prisons. But here, anyone with the credentials could look in on Rey anytime they wanted, and she had no idea. Pryde had been watching her ever since she arrived, partially because he was curious to see what she did when she thought no one was watching and partially because, well, sometimes he just got bored and this gave him some entertainment.

Right now, she was curled up on the bed, which just had a hard mattress and a single pillow and blanket. The girl did not sleep soundly. She tossed and turned and muttered things in her sleep. ‘Girl’…if he could even call her that. He only did because Snoke allowed her to present as such, and Pryde didn’t want to start disputes that were a waste of time. But personally, he didn’t understand it. If he really were honest with himself about the matter, he saw Rey as more of a ‘thing’ than a person, much less a girl. But, it was what it was.

The old General still wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the girl. On the one hand, she was the next generation of Sith. Even though she had been born from worthless Jakku spice users who probably sold her off to get high, she had inherited one of the most valuable lineages in the galaxy. One day, she would have complete command over Pryde.

On the other hand, he couldn’t help but resent the girl at the same time. He had been a loyal servant to the Sith for decades, following Palpatine’s teachings and his political schemes even before the Clone Wars. The Sith and the Empire were Pryde’s life—at the core of his central beliefs and worldview. And now, as a reward for his lifelong servitude, he had to follow after some girl who acted like she was entitled to all of it. A girl who paid him no due respect, always taking the chance to insult or mock him like this was all some game to her. Not to mention how often she didn’t seem to take her training on Exegol seriously. It frustrated him to no end.

The girl was muttering again in her sleep. Something about someone touching her, and a hot sun. Her tone and expression suggested she was in emotional pain, distressed by whatever she was dreaming about.

Pryde smiled slightly at the sight. He liked seeing Rey so vulnerable, afraid and small. She may be Snoke’s apprentice, but Pryde had been a Sith loyalist most of his life, the highest elite of the Sith Eternal, and a general in three galactic wars. He deserved respect. He deserved to have his own part of the galaxy saved for him when this war was won.

 _You’ll learn to give me that due respect, little Rey,_ Pryde thought as he continued to watch her toss and turn in her nightmare. _Whatever it takes, I’ll make sure you learn your place._

~

_Keren, Naboo - Month 5, Day 18, 3_ _4 ABY_

Ahsoka sipped her herbal tea as she sat in front of the firepit. The two sisters sat across from her, one in pilot gear and the other with a worker jumpsuit. They stared at her wide-eyed, along with the rest of the troopers who were sitting around the firepit.

She didn’t even care about the strange looks they were giving her. Ahsoka was always cautious about when to demonstrate her Force powers in front of others, and which ones. Mostly because when she did it drew attention to herself just like it was now.

 _One thing they don’t warn you about getting older_ , Ahsoka thought, _you give fewer and fewer fucks._

“So, I’m guessing you want to know about the wolves?” She smiled at their eager nods, but sipped some more tea before she continued. “Some Force users are able to communicate to animals. Even call on them for aide. It isn’t the first time I’ve talked to the wolf packs of Naboo. I wouldn’t say I’m a friend of theirs, though. Not yet, at least.”

“That is…amazing.” Rose, the younger sister, gave Ahsoka a huge smile. “But, you said you’re not a Jedi, so are you a Sith?”

“Oh, no. I’m…neither. I primarily connect with the Light Side of the Force, but I’m not a part of the conflict between the Jedi and the Sith…hey, by the way, this tea is excellent!”

Another pilot—a man who had introduced himself as Snap Wexley—was the next to speak up. Unlike Rose, Snap seemed a bit more wary of the lightsaber-wielding stranger, and hesitant to trust her. And honestly, considering the circumstances, Ahsoka couldn’t really blame him, or any of the others who watched her like they expected her to send the wolves after them next. Even for members of the Resistance who had fought in the Rebellion, very few would recognize her.

“Who was that woman? And how did you know she’d be here?” asked Snap.

“She is trained in the Dark Side…an assassin and secret soldier for the First Order. I knew she would be here because I was living on the other side of Naboo when she arrived…specifically, the city of Theed. I sensed the Dark Side’s presence here, which I had been watching for carefully for years. I had sensed it slightly now and then, but not so much of it from one single person. So I followed the trail and ended up here. She mentioned something about a droid, but you would all know more about that than I do.”

“That’s not something we can elaborate on, for reasons I’m sure you would understand,” said Snap.

“Of course. However…it is concerning that someone well trained in the Dark Side is with the First Order. It begs the question, who is working for who, or who initiated the alliance?” She let out a small sigh. “At least, that’s what I want to know. And what you should let your superiors know about right away.” She could feel the tension rise among the small circle of troopers. Ahsoka looked among them, mismatched soldiers from all corners of the galaxy, of all genders and species. Some barely adults with all the hope and innocence still in their eyes, others who were as old as her if not older and hardened by decades of war, and all those who fit in-between the two extremes.

“Have you been in contact with our leaders?” Paige asked.

“Not officially,” Ahsoka said coyly, after another sip of tea, “but I did serve as a spy for the Rebel Alliance back in the day. You may have heard about me with my code name…Fulcrum.”

The pilot’s eyes lit up at that. There were a few whispers among the others. That was a relief. They remembered ‘Fulcrum.’ Snap Wexley spoke up again. He pointed up at his forehead.

“Your facial markings…that was Fulcrum’s symbol. I saw it when Fulcrum sent Intel to a rebel base. You warned of us of an attack and saved our lives that day…” Snap stared at her for a little while then glanced at the other troopers. “She’s telling the truth. I recognize those markings anywhere.”

That seemed to help clear up a good bit of tension in the air. Ahsoka resumed sipping her tea and rested her eyes. She had been up all night chasing down the Dark Side user and now she was starting to feel the effects of lack of sleep catch up to her.

“If I can ask another question—”

“Can it wait? I’m a bit tired,” Ahsoka cut off Rose.

“Oh, right. Sorry…here, do you need my blanket?”

Ahsoka smiled, eyes still closed.

“No, but thank you.” She set her cup of tea down when it was empty and relaxed.

Even as she rested, Ahsoka remained strongly connected to the Force. She had studied it on her own terms for many years, based in the teachings of the Jedi and her master.

The Light. Illuminating the path in front of her. Inviting in a bit of comfort and warmth even in the darkest, coldest hour of the night. Occasionally becoming so strong that one could begin to feel blinded, unable to see other alternatives. The Light, always there to show the way it believed to be right. A Light inside one’s self that only focused on the needs of others, of giving one’s self for the greater good, sacrificing wants and needs so that others are not lacking. Yet without its companion in the Force, it loses its true power, for what hope does the sunrise bring without the darkness before it, and what promise does the clear path bring without the shadow of alternatives?

The Dark. As present and unescapable as one’s own shadow. Always a gesture of one’s own desires, which can sometimes provide satisfaction but can also lead one astray, lost to yourself. It attracted attention, and made one discover things about the self otherwise thought impossible. Dark was nothing without Light, so the Light was nothing without the Dark. By balancing a healthy connection to both—and knowing when one was too strong—could true harmony in the Force be achieved.

The galaxy. Still reeling from the aftermath of over two decades of oppression under the Galactic Empire. Rebuilding its central government from scratch. Entire planet’s ecosystems reduced to ruin, now finally getting the chance to heal and return to their previous state, if such is possible. Enslaved species now with new freedom seeking out their own sense of identity and place in the galaxy after years of being downtrodden. Politicians scrambling to grab their own property and wealth so they would be safe from the next big threat. The last of the Jedi, hidden far away from it all. The woman trained in the Dark Side, on the run from the Resistance having failed her mission. What connected it all together? What was the missing link that would cause it all to make sense? What if there _was_ no missing link and things just happened to be this confusing and meaningless to no end?

Ahsoka’s inner light wanted all the answers. To know why she was here, what she was supposed to do next, what sort of threat the First Order held against the fragile New Republic. She wanted to keep protecting everyone, never stop fighting the good fight even after she was too exhausted to go on. Her inner darkness wanted things to stay as they had been up until recently—just her, living peacefully on Theed, studying the Force and Naboo’s arts and culture, spending the remainder of her years finally in quiet. She didn’t want to have anything to do with the galaxy anymore. After all, she had spent nearly her entire life fighting for it, giving her life for it, and what did she get in return? Just to become an old, forgotten woman, alone on a planet full of strangers. And what was the balance? To fight if she could, to stay behind if she couldn’t, and to accept that she might not find the answers she wanted, but that didn’t mean she had to give up. And so Ahsoka found balance within herself, and slept lightly for some time in the Resistance camp.

A few hours later, a female pilot approached them. Her sense of urgency in the Force stirred Ahsoka from her sleep. She opened her eyes and sat up straight. It was early morning now on this side of Naboo, and sunlight shone down on the small pile of ashes in the fire pit.

“Ship’s about to land. Said they barely escaped alive. Some big First Order base.” The female pilot then looked at Snap, breathlessly. “Poe Dameron’s with them.”

“What?!” Snap bolted upright, eyes on fire. “Jess, I swear to the stars, if you’re messing with me right now—”

“Come see for yourself!”

If Ahsoka didn’t know better, she would have thought Snap was Force-sensitive, what with how fast he ran outside and to the docking bay. Other troopers began to follow, a few laughing with delight, a couple others struggling to hold back tears. Whoever had just arrived on the planet had a lot of good friends here, Ahsoka mused.

She was about to get up and leave, sensing things were safe here for now. After all, there was a Darksider out there somewhere, and only Ahsoka knew her well enough to get a head start on the trail. And yet, when she looked up at the ship that had just landed, Ahsoka felt something stop her. The Force wanted her to stay here, at least for a little while longer. Her work wasn’t finished. Something or someone on that ship was pulling her closer.

Less than ten minutes later, she was going to find out why.

~

Ben Solo opened the ramp of the ship and looked down. The morning sun shone down brightly on the Resistance encampment in the abandoned districts of the city. Ben found himself looking out past the docking bay to old streets and buildings, many reduced to rubble and overgrown plants, mixed with makeshift huts and piles of supplies the Resistance evacuees had brought with them. As for the Resistance, they looked like they had been through hell. But they were all smiles at seeing Commander Dameron back with them.

At seeing so many faces—dirtied, exhausted—Ben felt his heart sink. The sight was in such stark contrast to what he saw on Ilum. In the First Order, all the soldiers looked exactly the same and everything was constructed with care and precision down to the smallest detail.

Did this ragtag group have any idea what they were up against?

Yet even with that thought of dismay, Ben couldn’t ignore the sense of Light in this place. It was like constantly being basked in direct sunlight, a sense of warmth and clarity. Ben kept trying to ignore it and push it away, but it kept coming back front and center. It had even distracted him slightly as he landed the ship.

Poe was barely out of the ship when a larger man tackled him, practically turning him blue as he squeezed him. There were tears in the man’s eyes. When he finally let go and pulled away, he cupped Poe’s face in both hands and looked into his eyes like they hadn’t seen each other in years.

“Never do that to me again. Do you hear me?”

“Never again,” Poe replied.

“I thought I lost you!”

The other troopers were patting Poe’s back and shoulders, a few cheering. The two men embraced again, holding each other even tighter, as if the man wanted Poe all to himself and hated sharing. When he pulled away again, it was Poe’s turn to cup his face, and they pressed their lips together and kissed, so tender yet wanting, touching each other over and over like they were afraid this was an illusion that would fade away at any moment. Watching the scene made Ben feel a sense of emptiness inside him—a reminder of something he wanted to share with another person but had never gotten. A want for someone to look at him the way that man was looking at Poe. Kiss him that way too.

 _You got pretty close with the girl Rey, you know,_ a voice in his head reminded him. _Okay, but she’s literally a_ Sith _and she is insane and also wants you dead. And nothing happened, so it doesn’t count._

Ben turned to Finn. The kid was shaking in his boots, staring down at all the strangers.

“Hey, you all right?”

“What if they hate me? What if they hate I was a stormtrooper and they don’t trust me? What if they think I’m a spy or something?”

“Come on, they won’t hate you. You helped rescue Dameron and look, they’re all over him. I think that one guy down there is ready to kiss us both for bringing him back.”

“If something happens, will you protect me?”

_Poor kid. He’s terrified. He’s got no one._

“Of course.” Ben patted the blaster at his side. “It’ll be all right. But if anything goes wrong, I got you covered.”

“Thanks…” Finn walked down the ramp. Ben soon followed. As they drew closer their presence got the attention of a handful of troopers. Eventually Poe was able to put a pause on the happy reunion to introduce them.

“Everyone, this is Finn. He helped us escape the First Order base. And this is Captain Solo.”

There were a few nods from the troopers. Ben sighed with relief when no one seemed to recognize him or make the connection of who his parents were. He could be invisible here. He gave Finn a reassuring pat on the shoulder. The two were introduced to a handful of troopers—Jessika Pava, Karé Kun, L'ulo L'ampar. Finally, an orange and white astromech came rushing through the small crowd and whistled up at Poe. Poe knelt down, crying with delight about his ‘little buddy’, and touched his forehead to the droid’s domed head. Finn laughed a little as he watched them. More troopers began to bug the three of them with questions—what happened in their escape, how they found each other, where Ben found such a big ship. Luckily for them, Poe was much more the center of attention, especially since Ben was hesitant to answer any questions and Finn was too overwhelmed to say much of anything.

“Well, come along then. We got…some food,” Jessika said to them. “There isn’t a whole lot, but there are some muja fruit trees only a quarter mile away you can help yourselves to.”

“First things first. I got a report I need to bring to High Command. Top priority,” said Poe. “Can you get a signal out to them from here?”

“We’ll get on it right away, Poe,” said Karé. She turned to Ben and Finn. “What about you two?”

“I wasn’t planning on staying long, actually. I’m just going to refuel in the city and be on my way,” Ben said. He was already starting to make his way back toward the ship, and the crowd let him through. The novelty of two newcomers had faded off quickly, and they were back to being soldiers on a mission in only a few minutes’ time. Ben walked past them, avoiding the few glances and looks he got.

He turned to Finn and prepared to ask him if he had made his decision yet—that is, whether he wanted to stay on the _Odysseus_ and see every corner of the galaxy with Ben, or stay here and become a soldier on the opposite side of the same war he’d been in his whole life—when a voice rang out from the crowd.

“Captain, wait!”

He turned. A Togrutan woman stood facing him. Long robes, a worn face, and an expression on her face he couldn’t quite read. But when their eyes met it was as if the Force’s Light became so strong it startled him. There was something about her…

“Yes?” he asked her.

She walked up to him, a confused frown on her face. She was trying to read him. Did she…could she sense he knew the Force? Ben’s body tensed. He didn’t recognize this woman and had no idea what she could possibly want to tell him. But one thing was for sure, she was the reason he had felt the Light calling to him since they arrived on Naboo.

“What did you say your name was?”

Ben found he had trouble speaking for a moment. He hadn’t felt someone this strong in the Force since…

_Luke._

_But there’s no way she’s a Jedi…right? That’s not possible…_

“I didn’t. I said I was Captain Solo. Why, have we met before?”

“No, but I feel like I have. Like I knew you from a long time ago…does that make sense?”

“Well, I’ve never met you. I remember faces.” Ben turned again to leave. He wanted out of this. The Togrutan woman almost lurched for him, reaching out an open hand. She didn’t grab him, but it seemed like she was trying to stop herself from doing so.

“Wait! Please…you must know. I don’t know you either, but I feel like I _must_ know you.”

“Maybe you know one of my parents? I’ve been told I look a lot like my dad. But some people say I look more like my mom. Guess it depends on what you see in a person.”

“Oh. Maybe. Who…who are they?”

Ben bit his lip. Here was the moment of truth. The family legacy that always seemed to find him.

“Leia Organa, and Han Solo,” he finally answered.

The change in the woman’s expression was not what he anticipated. Usually when he told people who his parents were, they responded with either excitement (like Rey) or disgust (like the pirates); they brought up a favor either owed by them to his parents or by his parents to them; they asked how Leia and Han were (because it never mattered how Ben was doing, of course) and went into their whole speech of how heroic those two were in saving the galaxy from oppression. But this woman did not do any of that.

Instead, her ocean-blue eyes clouded with tears. Her lower lip trembled slightly. She looked like she had been punched in the stomach. She looked…broken.

Ben felt a cold chill up his spine. He swallowed the dryness he didn’t know had formed in his mouth.

“Did my parents…do something bad to you?” he dared ask.

“No. But…I did hear the story that came out about who his dau—who Leia Organa’s biological father was,” she said in a hushed voice.

That had been a bad day. The public soaked up that scandal. Tabloids must have made a killing. The Princess of Alderaan herself, the perfect symbol of hope and rebellion and the good fight, was the illegitimate child of none other than Lord Vader himself. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was a holonet broadcaster out there currently trying to buy the rights to a soap drama about it.

Ben glared at the woman.

“Look, I get it. Everybody hates my mom and hates me because of who we’re related to. You don’t think I’ve heard all of it? People who sent my mom death threats because the Empire killed their family? People who told my mom she deserved to watch me die because their children died in the Rebellion? Trust me, that’s not the worst we’ve dealt with. So if you’ve got some bone to pick with us, save it for someone who gives a shit, okay?!”

Every syllable was like another blow to the Togrutan woman again, and again. When he was finished spitting out his anger, she looked completely defeated and broken. Ben turned to leave, but yet again she stopped him.

“That’s not it at all! You don’t understand…I’m not angry with you!” she cried.

“Then what is it? Why do you care?” Ben demanded.

Tears rolled down her face. He watched her, then felt a little ill; he had gone too far. _Way to go, jerk; you made an old lady cry._ But he had no idea what was about to come.

“I knew him before he was Vader. I knew… _Anakin_ ,” she said, and it was as if the words were a heavy weight on her shoulders that she was finally able to release.

It took Ben a minute to process what she had just said. That she had just said the name of a person Ben and his mom never got to know. A person that Luke, so the story went, got just the smallest glimpse of moments before he died. A person spoken of only in legend now, as someone who died at the end of the Clone Wars and whose famous skills were honored now and then by pilots at flight school. That person…Anakin Skywalker…was just a shroud of mystery to Ben Solo. Someone who was constantly overshadowed by the legacy of Darth Vader.

And then it hit him. This woman hadn’t sensed his relation to Vader. She had sensed Anakin Skywalker. She sensed Anakin in his bloodline. How could she have known that…?

“How did you know him?” Ben dared ask.

The woman smiled sadly.

“You didn’t hear the stories? I was his Padawan during the Clone Wars…until I left the Jedi Order, that is. Didn’t you know he had a Padawan?”

“No. I don’t know anything about Anakin other than his name.” Ben felt dizzy with shock. He couldn’t believe he was talking with someone who actually knew his grandfather when he was good. Someone who had talked to Anakin face-to-face. And why was she telling him all of this? Was it some sick joke to rub it in his face? Or was there something more to this woman he didn’t know about yet?

“I know. It’s just…I was afraid to meet your mother when I found out the news. I didn’t know how she’d take it.” She wrung her hands. She took a few steps closer to him, and this time Ben didn’t back away. Now he understood why she was looking at him like this. She was seeing somebody she had known—and lost—many, many years ago. “Gods…I can’t believe it’s you. Anakin’s grandson…” She began to cry.

“If you knew him before…that…then you must know how he became Vader. You must have seen the signs of the monster he was going to become,” Ben stated.

But instead her sad smile just grew, and she reached out and gently touched the side of Ben’s face. He didn’t pull away from the physical contact. When she touched him, it was like the touch of an old friend you didn’t know you had forgotten.

“Oh, kid…you don’t know his story like I do. You didn’t know Anakin in those days.” After a long pause, she pulled her hand away. “I…I can tell you, if you want to hear it.”

Ben wasn’t ready to say Yes. But he couldn’t say No either. So he just gave her one small nod. At that, she gestured to his ship.

“In that case, we had better talk somewhere private.”

~

_Interlude_

_Cloud City, Bespin – Month 10, Day 26, 5 ABY_

Ahsoka walked down the ramp of her ship, taking her staff with her. She didn’t necessarily need it but these days, the ghosts of old wounds had a way of showing up and making your body hurt in ways it hadn’t hurt in years—hurt that was just an echo of what you had survived, hurt that reminded you of all you had survived. She removed the hood covering the tops of her montrals, feeling a sweet-smelling breeze cool her skin. It was a beautiful morning on Cloud City, daylight reflecting off every window and passing speeder or ship. The city hummed with life and activity it had not seen since before the days of Imperial control.

But the Galactic Empire was gone. The war was over. The galaxy, hopefully, would begin to rebuild itself.

Ahsoka had promised herself she would not let old sentiments and her previous life interfere with the new life she had set out for herself. She had spent almost two decades of her life fighting for peace, something she had not seen in the galaxy since she was a child. As the war closed to an end, she had promised herself she would spend the rest of her life somewhere quiet and secluded and never be a soldier again.

But then, just a few months before the Empire’s official surrender, she had heard the story about a boy—Luke Skywalker—who went to this very planet. A boy who fought in the Rebel Alliance and, by some accounts, was training to become a Jedi Knight. He had also been seen in Cloud City by multiple witnesses. The stories were very brief and only offered minor details. But it was the only lead Ahsoka needed. Now, here she was, on Cloud City and every old wound was aching. Just like how your body remembered the injuries, your heart remembered every time it had been broken.

On the other end of the platform, a man walked out with a guard flanking either side. He had a long, beautiful cape and a bright purple tunic which alone must have cost thousands of credits.

“Hello. You must be Mr. Calrissian?” she asked. Based on the stories she had heard about him she wasn’t surprised he was so well-dressed, yet she wondered why he would bother to dress nicely for the likes of her. Her days of being a hero were over, after all.

“In the flesh and blood, ma’am,” he said, giving her a slight bow. “Welcome to Cloud City! Please, come right in and I will have refreshments brought out for both of us.”

“Oh, that’s all right, but thank you. I’d rather make this brief.” She held up her hand. “I was told you have something here that may be of some value.”

“I have many things of value.” He grinned at her, and Ahsoka realized quickly this man had come a long way through the galaxy using his charm and wit. “I’m afraid you’ll have to be a bit more specific.”

“All right.” She cleared her throat. “About two years ago, before the end of the Empire, there was a battle here. A duel between Lord Vader and the Jedi Knight, Luke Skywalker. The person who provided this information to me asked to be kept anonymous, for reasons I’m sure you understand.”

Lando nodded slightly, pursing his lips and looking her over. He was evaluating her, trying to decide if she could be trusted.

“Go on?” he offered.

“I was also told that the Jedi Knight lost an object during the battle. More specifically…a weapon. A weapon that only Jedi know how to use. It was found by your workers at the bottom of a reactor shaft and brought to you for examination. As far as I’m aware, you still have it in your possession, yes?”

“Indeed, I do.”

“You served in the Rebel Alliance, along with Skywalker. So why didn’t you just…give it back to him?” Ahsoka frowned, then shook her head. “Never mind. I think I already know the answer.”

“He never asked about it, so why would I give it up?” Lando shrugged. “Besides, Skywalker has a new lightsaber these days. So it’s not like he exactly needed it back.”

“That’s fair. Well, I’m asking now. I’m sure we can work out some sort of deal.”

“And why do you want it, if I may ask? Are you a collector of some sort?”

“No…not exactly.” She stepped closer to him, then decided it was time to tell the truth. “The reason I’m asking for it is because…I know the person who made it. I trained under him.”

The smile in Lando’s eyes faded as what she said began to sink in. He looked at his guest in a new light now, debating if she truly was who she was claiming to be.

“So this is a personal matter,” he stated after a pause.

“Yes,” she admitted. “I know that you would hold onto it because to you, it’s an artifact. A dangerous but unique collector’s item. You hoped that someday someone would come along and be willing to pay you a lot of credits to get their hands on it. To you, it was a business opportunity. But I think you also know deep down how sacred this weapon is to the Jedi. That to them it’s more than just what a blaster is to a soldier. And even though you saw no need to return it to Luke Skywalker, you also respected Skywalker enough to not pawn his former weapon off for money. So you haven’t exactly been proactive in putting it on the black market for sale because you have somewhat of a sense of honor. Am I right?”

Lando laughed—sounded mostly like a nervous laugh—and shifted his weight slightly.

“My dear, you read me like a holobook. Should I be nervous, or flattered, or both?”

“Definitely both.”

He stepped closer to her. She could feel his growing fear and respect for her. After another long pause, he clasped his hands behind him and nodded slightly towards her.

“I’ll tell you what,” said Lando. “You prove to me that you know how to use the weapon the way it was meant to be used, and you can have it.”

Ahsoka let out a breath of air she didn’t know she had been holding in.

“All right. It’s a deal.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -brief mentions of war/trauma from war, torture, grooming/abuse

_Theed, Naboo – 4 ABY_

On the day the Second Death Star was destroyed, Ahsoka experienced something she would never fully recover from.

Something happened in the Force that changed her. Just like how your body started to remember old injuries, her heart remembered an old love she once felt. A devotion, then a grief, a betrayal, and a loss. All of which she had experienced far too much of throughout the course of her life, but it was the first one that defined her the most, no matter how much she had tried to move on.

Ahsoka would never forget her love for Anakin, and when she lost him. After years of trying to heal, trying to reconcile with what happened to him and her whole cycle of self-blame and regret, she had wondered if maybe she was finally ready to move on. She wanted to live the rest of her days in peace, putting to rest both her identity as Anakin’s former Padawan and as ‘Fulcrum.’

On that day, she had been meditating in her small home on Naboo, aware of the current battle over the Second Death Star raging halfway across the galaxy. Now retired from her position as ‘Fulcrum,’ Ahsoka had departed from her career as a rebel spy in order to focus on connecting with the Force again. And that’s when it happened.

On that day, in spite of the chaos she could sense all around her in the Force…Ahsoka had felt her old master, faint and far away, but his presence was in the here and now all the same. And it wasn’t Vader she felt, not like on Malachor when they dueled and she was confronted with the horrible truth of Vader’s true identity. She hadn’t felt that at all. Instead…she felt Anakin. Somehow, he had returned to the Light.

That moment—feeling her old master again after so long without him—told her what she had been dying to know for years. That she been right to believe there was still good in him all along and Anakin had never been truly gone. All along, that small light inside him had been fighting to stay alive and it won out in the end.

Ahsoka had wept with relief. Joy. A feeling of hope.

_Anakin is alive…he’s alive!_

The hope within her was too much to bear, overwhelming her. All she could do was stay within the Force and celebrate knowing that he had returned to the Light, after all these years of living in shadow.

And then, almost as soon as the moment began, it was over.

She had only felt his presence but a few minutes, and was still shaking with the emotion of it all…when it began to fade. Ahsoka could feel Anakin’s presence leaving this world. It was passing on into the Force.

_No…no, no, no, he can’t die! Not now!_

She wanted to scream out, but what could she do? There was nothing to do. She was trapped, having to sit back helplessly as Anakin, wherever he was, passed on from this world just moments after being redeemed. She had just begun to feel him return and just as she had realized what it meant, it was taken away.

She had gotten her master back only to lose him all over again.

~

_Keren, Naboo - Month 5, Day 18, 3_ _4 ABY_

Ahsoka led Ben Solo away from the crowd of Resistance troopers. Away from the abandoned district. They walked down the large landing platform, which was positioned on the top of a cliff. On one side, the outskirts of Keren’s abandoned districts—on the other, the lush forests of Naboo where the wolves and many other creatures lived in harmony.

It was all she could do to keep her composure. Her feelings in the Force had been made crystal clear the moment they locked eyes. She had felt this boy was Anakin’s grandson. She could _sense_ the Skywalker blood coursing through him. The last time she felt that so strongly was the last time she saw Anakin at the end of the Clone Wars. She had sensed it just ever so slightly when she faced the Emperor’s Hand years later, but his presence had been mostly gone by that point, tainted and shadowed by that of Vader’s. There was no mistake about it. She would know someone from Anakin’s family anywhere. She had never forgotten what a Skywalker’s presence felt like, even all these decades later.

He was Leia Organa’s son. Leia Organa…a famous hero of the Rebellion. She should have tried to find Leia herself, back when the news first came out several years ago that Darth Vader had children.

But…now was not the time to dwell on her own regrets. All she could do was make up for the lost time. Plant the roots again and nurture them.

She glanced back at the young man and gave him a small smile. He stopped and looked at her, frowning.

“What is it?”

Instead of answering him, Ahsoka kept walking. Instead of approaching his ship, which he seemed to expect of her, she turned and headed toward the nearby forest.

“Come on. There’s a spot I found on my way here. I think you’ll like it.”

“What? Why go there?” he called out. She kept walking, not answering him. “Hey!”

Ahsoka picked up her pace, now at a light jog away from the landing platform. The grass thickened and brush began to tickle her legs. Tassler trees began to loom around her, their large branches reaching up and tangling with each other high above her. By now the sun was beginning to heat the day. Warm daylight trickled through the treetops, making the forest glow a beautiful array of yellows and greens.

“You haven’t even told me your name!” he shouted. She could hear him start to pick up his pace as he followed after her.

“It’s Ahsoka Tano! You heard of me?”

“Uh, no, sorry.”

 _Kids these days,_ she thought to herself in jest.

“And what’s your name, kid?”

“Ben Solo! And slow down, please!”

Ahsoka was now running, using the Force to aid her. Her feet barely touched the ground as she dashed lightly between the trees. The forest began to thicken and she jumped over a small ravine, breathing in the clean air. Ben Solo was keeping up, but not by much.

“Where are you going?! I thought we were going to talk, not go on a nature hike!”

But Ahsoka ignored him and didn’t stop until she found the place. She stared up at it as she patiently waited for the boy to catch up. When he did, sweat was beading his forehead already and he was breathing hard. She glanced at him.

“What, can’t keep up with a little old lady?”

“You…were cheating. You were using the Force.”

“How could you tell?”

“Shot in the dark…and where did you take us?”

“Don’t you see?” She started walking towards them. Here, the forest had a clearing, big enough to fit about a quarter of his ship in. Here, it was like their own little oasis had been cut out and left just for them to explore. Flowers of all shapes and colors covered the ground. In the middle of the clearing there was a small pond that connected to a brook leading down the cliffside. Ahsoka bet if they followed it, the brook would connect to the river that flowed into Lake Varum. And best yet, all around them were tall Shuura trees, from which the fruit of the same name hung. Most of the fruits were not yet ripe, and still a bright yellow color, but others had matured and had the orange and red speckles around their skin.

Ben stopped and looked around the clearing, his mouth hung open as he took it in. He brushed his long hair away from his face.

“I knew Naboo was a beautiful place. I never saw it for myself…” he said quietly.

“I love it here.” She walked up to the nearest tree and found two ripe Shuura fruits. She took one then tossed Ben the other. She looked down at her Shuura fruit and remembered an old story Anakin told her once, how he had used the Force to lift the same fruit to Padmé while they were on this planet once; he had told that story as a funny story while on leave, then made Ahsoka promise not to tell Master Kenobi. She kept her word. Even such a simple little fruit could trigger such vivid memories for her.

He took small bite of the fruit. Their eyes were locked on each other. Ahsoka set her staff down and found a patch of grass where she could sit without crushing any flowers. Above them, a few birds were chirping and flying through the treetops. Ben sat across from her as he took another bite of the Shuura fruit. They took a deep breath and regarded each other and what little they had learned of their own stories already and they comprehended what more they were about to learn.

“So, you were my grandfather’s Padawan…” he began.

She set down her fruit. She had taken the chance to run into the forest as a chance to collect her thoughts, to pull herself together. Now was the time to meet this boy and see what had become of Anakin’s descendants.

“I was. For not quite three years, during the Clone Wars. When I was assigned to him, we connected instantly. And when we did clash it was because we had a lot in common. He was…my mentor, my guardian, my brother…my best friend. We trusted each other with our lives. When you meet somebody like that, in the middle of a war, it forms a bond you don’t find anywhere else. You become very close to them very quickly, and nothing can shake that bond. In just weeks you develop an intimacy that would otherwise take months, if not years…that’s how war works.” She wrung her hands in front of her and took a deep breath. “I thought we were going to fight side by side until the war was over, and then we could spend the rest of my apprenticeship going all across the galaxy, saving all the people living in hardship and oppression. Anakin thought so too. I know that sounds ironic considering what really happening, but it’s the truth. When I knew him, he wanted to save the galaxy.”

“What was he like?” Ben asked.

Ahsoka bit her lip. Old memories flooded back. Back to when she was just a teenage girl, stepping onto Christophsis and seeing Anakin for the first time. The first time he called her ‘Snips.’ Their journey on Tatooine. The time she learned about his horrific childhood in slavery and how late he had arrived at the Jedi Temple. All the times they nearly lost each other in battle—Geonosis. Ryloth. Felucia. She could still hear him laughing with Torrent Company around the campfire as they shared jokes—hear him groaning and whimpering in his sleep as he had yet another nightmare—see him squeeze the hand of a dying clone trooper just a little longer. The memories were as clear as if they had happened yesterday, and yet she had been so young back then, still so full of youth and innocent hope. She had changed so much since, and yet in many ways she was still the same person she had always been.

And she remembered. She remembered the last time she had seen Anakin, as his whole self that is…he had had so much joy in his eyes. He was weary from the war, but he had been _happy_. At least, he seemed that way.

And she remembered when she faced Darth Vader, the scourge of the Galaxy, and realized that the monster who had been terrorizing the rebel cause for years was the exact same person who trained her. To her, ‘Darth Vader’ and ‘Anakin Skywalker’ existed as such opposite entities that the possibility they were the same person struck her with horror and disbelief. And yet…even in Anakin, there had been those moments of darkness where he went too far, where he seemed to want to cause pain and suffering, that she should have seen as warning signs that he was being pulled under. And then even when she faced Vader, there was a feeling, however small, that Anakin was not fully gone. That he was still in there, somewhere, and he could be saved.

Ahsoka was choking back tears now. Yet she managed to tell Ben Solo what she could, for the time being.

“He was…full of life. Incredibly stubborn and hated going by the rules. He always wanted to do things his own way. When he cared about something he cared with everything in him, almost to a fault. He had a big heart for anyone in need and wanted to help everyone he could, even if it cost him greatly. The way he was so willing and ready to lay down his life for those around him was almost frightening. And as a general…he went to hell and back over and over again for his men. For the Republic. And for me. He was the best star pilot I ever met. He could master any move, make it all look so easy. Anyone who claims to be the best pilot around, well, let’s just say they would have had tough competition. Anakin…had both great light and great darkness. When you saw the Light in Anakin, you felt like everything was going to be okay because he was with you—you felt like the galaxy made a little more sense. When you saw the Dark, you knew that nothing was going to stop him from getting what he wanted, and part of you wanted to stop it and another wanted to jump out of the way.” She hesitated as she had to fight back more tears. “That’s how I remember him. That’s how I knew him, in those days. I don’t even know if you can call children forced to fight in a war that was designed to destroy us ‘the good old days.’ But if such a thing exists, those are the closest to the good old days I’m ever going to get. Wow…that sounds depressing when you say it aloud. But…with Anakin, you wanted to be alive. You wanted to keep fighting. You never wanted to give up. And then…”

Before she could begin the next part of the story, she stopped to go over Ben’s reaction. He had been staring at her wide-eyed the whole time she spoke, soaking in every word like a dry sponge. She took another pause from her story to ask him,

“You’ve…never heard any of this, have you?”

“No. Never. All I know about him is, well…what happened later. The eyewitness accounts of what Vader looked like, what he could do in battle. My parents and my uncle haven’t told me much, but I know they personally met him a few times.”

“Oh…” She winced. That news was like a vibroblade in her stomach. She had seen firsthand what had become of Anakin—what that Sith Lord had groomed and twisted him into. And knowing his children had seen him like that…

“Yeah. I heard it was pretty bad. They’ve tried to protect me from the worst stories, but when I was a little older, I found out enough. About what he did to them. He…he tortured my mom for information. And my dad, just because he could. He disfigured my uncle.”

“I…I’m sorry,” was all she could say.

“But before he turned. He was…he was good?” he asked.

“Yes! There was always goodness in his heart. I never doubted that. And I don’t believe I was ever a fool for it.” Ahsoka looked at him. This boy had the same Light and Dark in him; she could sense it. He was a Skywalker through and through. She did not yet know how that should make her feel—if she should be joyful or terrified.

This one, just like his grandfather, could shape the stars for better or worse. He could stop the rising darkness from destroying everything they’d tried to save…or he could be an unstoppable catalyst for that same darkness. She sensed both as equal potentials within him. All the more reason he had to hear the whole story about Anakin.

Now she understood why the Force had called her to this place. It wasn’t just to face the mysterious woman trained in the Dark Side. It was to meet Ben and tell him everything. Their running into each other had not been an accident.

“How is your family?” she asked next.

“What?” Ben blinked at her. Clearly, the question had caught him off-guard.

“I mean…your mother, Leia Organa. And Luke Skywalker. And you.”

“Oh. Well…they’re busy with their work, of course. Always have been.”

Ahsoka sensed bitterness in his tone and felt a sense of worry. If she was going to do what she planned to do, she needed to know more about Ben. More specifically, if he was ready for the gift she wanted to offer him.

“Your mother is a Senator, last I heard.”

“Was. Now she’s a General in the Resistance. My uncle has been studying the Light Side of the Force since the end of the war, searching the Galaxy for old Jedi relics and books. He has a Jedi temple where he’s been training a handful of students for some time now.”

That comforted her, to know that Anakin’s son and daughter were both doing their part to make the galaxy a better place. Knowing that Leia had been using her skills as politician to try to repair the central government and aid systems in great need. And that Luke was out there rebuilding the Jedi Order—as much as Ahsoka had her own qualms with the ways of the Jedi, she was optimistic that a fresh start would be just what the Order needed.

 _You would have been proud of them, Skyguy,_ she thought. _And so would Padm_ _é._ Had she been taught how to communicate with those who had passed on into the Force, she would have done so with Anakin right this minute just to tell him about his children.

“That’s…good. You mentioned your dad?”

“He’s a smuggler. He was also a war hero in the Rebellion, but he’s left that part of his life behind. My whole family has gone their own separate ways, I guess. And that’s fine.”

“What about you?” she asked, and here was the heart of it. “You could tell I used the Force before, so why is that? Have you had any training?”

His shoulders tensed slightly. She was hitting a sensitive nerve.

“No. I mean…why do you want to know?”

“You’re the grandson of my old master. You don’t have to answer, but…at the least I want to know what’s become of his family. I feel like I at least deserve somewhat of an answer.”

She watched his jaw working, as the young man processed her question and shifted through options of how to answer. There was a slight anger in his eyes when he looked back up at her, and Ahsoka’s heart sank.

“Fine. If you want to know the truth, I’ll tell you,” he began. “I trained under my uncle for some years. They wanted me to because they sensed I was strong in the Force. But after a few years, I left. I didn’t want to be a Jedi anymore.”

“Oh. Well…that’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Ahsoka said, sighing with relief. But before she could tell Ben her own story as to why she related to those feelings, he cut her off.

“I left because I found out Darth Vader was my grandfather. And I knew that if I continued in my training, I would risk going down the same path he did. I couldn’t let that happen. Had to end it. So I left. I figured it’s better for me to go my own way.”

That made her heart break in a way she did not know it could break. Vader—and, consequently, the monster who created Vader—had caused not just Anakin unimaginable suffering. That suffering had been passed onto his descendants. The Sith were a curse on this family.

“You’re afraid that what happened to Anakin will happen to you,” she said carefully. “You’re afraid that history will repeat itself.”

“Not anymore. I’m not training in the Force. Haven’t for several years. And I’m never going to use it again.” Ben clenched his jaw. “I have my own life now. I’m not following after some family legacy and especially not whatever the Force wants of me.”

“It’s not that simple. Being a Skywalker, certainly you have a potential for Darkness. But all the more your potential for the Li—”

“Yeah, I’ve only heard _that_ a hundred times.” Ben sighed. “I’m _not_ a Skywalker. Not an Organa, and only a Solo in name. I’m just me. That’s it. Look, I’m sorry, but if you think you can convince me to start my Jedi training again, you’re wasting your time.”

“Not at all.” As she spoke, Ahsoka reached over to lightly touch a small patch of flowers nearby, feeling the small life inside them. “I focus my own practices on a balance _between_ the Light and Dark. Both exist in all living things. Both can be used to better yourself, with the proper training. The key isn’t completely embracing one or the other, but finding purpose and fulfillment in reconciling those two forces. Letting them work together, not combat each other. Choosing just one and ignoring the other, well…I guess you could say the galaxy has reaped the consequences of both in the past few decades.”

He looked away, up at the trees, as he digested her words. Ahsoka wondered if this was the first time he had ever been taught such a concept. If he had had just a few years of training from the remnants of Jedi teachings, then it made sense. He had been taught to fear the Dark Side and avoid it completely. No wonder he was afraid.

“So…you’re _not_ a Jedi.”

“I thought I made that abundantly clear, but no, I’m not. Haven’t been for a long time. But that’s another story.”

“Then why is my training so important to you?” he challenged.

“Because there is a darkness coming, Ben. I don’t know if you heard this already from the Resistance troopers, but just hours ago…I encountered someone trained in the Dark Side.”

That got his attention. His eyes widened.

“What did you say?”

“I don’t know who trained her, or where she came from. But her presence in the Dark Side was what alerted me to come here. If I hadn’t, she would have attacked the Resistance camp.” She took a deep breath. “I believe something terrible is coming. Worse than the First Order. Much worse. If you’re strong in the Force, I _know_ you can feel it. Both your mom and uncle must feel it too and they’re rising against it in their own way. You must do the same.”

He looked about to say something, but then she saw his face fall slightly, and something changed in his expression.

“So _that’s_ why you came to talk to me. You want to train me.”

“What? No…I mean…I don’t think us crossing paths on this planet was an accident. I think the Force wanted us to meet at this particular time.”

“What for?”

“Because I have something I brought with me. I initially planned to give it to your mother, but I lost track of her, and then I heard she was in the Senate. Now it seems her life’s journey has set its own course. But…now that you’re here and there’s still time….” Ahsoka nodded for him to wait a moment, before reaching for her belt and unclipping what she had been carrying on her since her visit to Cloud City.

Ben looked confused at first. Then, as he mentally put the pieces together, he stood up and took a small step back, as if afraid of what she was holding. Ahsoka cradled the weapon in both hands, letting him get a good look at it.

“Is that…”

“Yes. It’s Anakin’s lightsaber. The one he crafted many years ago. The one your uncle used on Bespin. I think it’s only fair you should have it—”

“I don’t want it,” he snapped, cutting her off. “I told you, I’m done training. I’m done with the Jedi Order. And with the Force. All of it!”

“Have you listened to anything I told you? There’s an evil on the rise and you have the power to stop it. _We_ have to stop it. I know you’re scared. I can help you. I couldn’t save Anakin, but I won’t let that happen to you. This lightsaber belongs to you…and I want you to have it.” She stood up and held it out to him as an offering, as much as it pained her to do so. She had spent months searching for this lightsaber, and it was the only physical connection to Anakin she still had left. But she was willing to give it up for Ben; it’s what Anakin would have wanted. She kept holding the lightsaber out to him even when her arm began to ache. Ben just looked at her.

And then, to her dismay, he began backing away from her. He threw the half-eaten Shuura fruit away, glaring daggers at her.

“You said the Force planned for us to meet up here. Well, that’s a pretty convenient explanation, don’t you think?” Now he was shaking with rage. “Did my uncle set you up for this? Did he ask you to come here?!”

Ahsoka took in a sharp breath. She hadn’t seen this coming at all.

“ _No_ , not at all! I’ve never even met your uncle,” she said.

“You’re lying. He talked you into finding me, didn’t he? This is all a setup to make me come back and finish my training. You’re not fooling anybody!”

 _Where the hell is this coming from?_ she silently asked.

“Ben, I _swear_ —”

“You were my grandfather’s _Padawan_. You of all people should understand why I won’t train. I can’t let it happen again.” He clenched his fists. “You really don’t get it, do you? I’ve had visions of what I will become. I’ve seen myself as the new Vader. You and the other Jedi can deal with the Dark side all you want, but I don’t want any part in it.”

She sensed great fear in him. Fear of the shadow known as Vader. Fear of following in that shadow’s footsteps. And it made sense. If all Ben knew about his grandfather were the stories about Vader of course he would be afraid. But that meant he didn’t know the person who existed before Vader. If he just understood the truth of what happened…if he knew what and _who_ had truly been behind it all…

“I do understand, Ben. It’s a real reason to be afraid. But you don’t know what happened to Anakin that made him go down that path. You don’t know the whole story. If you would just let me explain—”

“No, I’m done.”

“Ben, please! There’s so much more I need to tell you!”

But she never got a chance to say any of it.

He ran past her, back the way they came. She turned after him.

“ _Ben_!”

No answer. He just kept running.

Ahsoka was about to chase after him but stopped, tears running down her cheeks. If she chased after him now it would only anger him more, and she’d squander any remaining chance to talk to him again.

She had to let him go—for now.

She gently set the lightsaber in the grass beside the bed of flowers, now letting herself grieve through it all as she sat alone in the Naboo forest.

_How do I help your grandson, Skyguy? How can I help him see who you really were and face his fears?_

_I don’t know what to do…_

The sounds of the forest were her only answer. She couldn’t summon those living in the Force now; that was one skill she never got to learn. Instead, she was left alone to figure out what she was going to do next. As she tried to pull herself together, Ahsoka noticed small movement beside the spot where she had placed Anakin’s lightsaber. It was a glowing blue butterfly. It must have been some rare species because she had never seen one like this in all her years of living on Naboo. She watched the butterfly fly over to the handgrip of the lightsaber and land delicately on top, where it rested its wings. It stayed there just a minute or two before flying away and disappearing into the forest.

For a reason she couldn’t explain, she now felt a little better. A little more at peace. A little less alone.

~

Ben Solo was running again.

He had run from his uncle. Run from the visions of himself standing beside Vader. Run from the Force, both Dark and Light, as much as they had called to him. And now he was running from the one link he had to his grandfather.

That voice from his nightmares was whispering in his head.

_You can’t run from who you are._

But this time, Ben had a retort.

_Damn right I can run. I’ll run my whole life if I have to if it keeps me away from every single one of you. You can keep chasing me but I’m never going to stop. I know who I am, and it’s not you. None of it is me!_

He didn’t stop running as he broke through the forest and could see his ship and the landing platform. In the back of his mind he regretted being so rude to Ahsoka Tano and taking off like that, but like hell he was going to go back to her with his tail between his legs and apologize. He just wanted to keep going. Get as far away from this beautiful little planet as possible and never look back.

Once he reached the Resistance camp, Ben slowed to a jog as he looked around for Finn. After several minutes of searching he found the boy sitting on a crate between Snap Wexley and Poe Dameron who appeared to be telling Finn some crazy story about them in X-Wings. Ben ran up to them, not caring how rudely he was interrupting the conversation.

“Finn, I’m leaving now. Have you made up your mind?” he asked before catching his breath from the run.

Finn looked up in surprise then sat still in thought. The two pilots, as if they couldn’t be more obvious about their gayness, were giving each other bedroom eyes when they thought neither Ben nor Finn would notice. Either that or they just didn’t care.

“I, um…well, Poe offered me a good job here, and I’ve already made a few friends…so I was thinking of staying here, if that’s okay with you?”

Ben bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to lash out at Finn. Something like _“Wow, thanks for giving me the cold shoulder when I could use person-to-person companionship the most and thanks for ditching me when I helped save your life, but that’s fine, go on and get yourself killed for all I care,”_ was on the tip of his tongue. But, at the last moment, he managed to swallow it down. He couldn’t make Finn go with him. And it wasn’t fair to take out his anger and hurt on the boy. So, instead, he choked it down like he was swallowing one of those Shuura fruits whole, and gave the three a small nod instead.

“All right. Then stay safe.”

“Yeah, you too.” Finn looked at him with big, eager eyes. “Where will you go?”

“I don’t know. Always work to find somewhere. I’ll be all right.”

“Okay, well, keep in touch. And…thanks again. For everything.” Finn smiled shyly.

“You’re welcome, kiddo.”

“May the Force be with you,” Finn added.

Ben didn’t reply that one. He turned away and took off before Poe or Snap could say a word to him. He wasn’t about to hear any of it.

He just wanted to keep running.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22 out of 36 chapters! woo! thank you so much to all my readers so far, i hope you are enjoying what i'm doing with this story ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -scene with a cult  
> -talk about genocide  
> -a trans character is deadnamed

_The Sith Citadel, Exegol -_ _Month 5, Day 25,_ _34 ABY_

“It is time.”

Snoke looked down at the hooded figures kneeling in front of his throne. Seven of them were in black robes and were positioned closest to him. Small details in their garments gave away their own individuality, such as the cloth covering one figure’s eyes and the larger hood covering another’s lekku. The rest of the figures were donned in blood red robes that covered their faces. All his servants, doing his every will. The large auditorium was dead silent save for the slight hum of the machines keeping him alive.

“It’s time for us to make our presence known to the galaxy. We’ve been in hiding long enough, living as outcasts. That era is now over.”

He remembered the long history of his founding and leading the Sith Eternal. Decades of building his reputation everywhere he went—reeling in everyone from lower income laborers fed up with the hypocrisy of the Jedi Order and the false promises of the Republic, to the highest experts in technical and scientific fields searching for something new and exciting, to all the wealthy but depressed loners who were desperate for a sense of purpose and belonging. All of them soaked in Snoke’s teachings, and turned their lives over to the cause of spreading the doctrines of the Sith. It was almost too easy to convince them with words only, to rally dozens and then hundreds to Snoke’s cause.

The Empire had been the answer to their prayers. In those glorious days, the cult was able to travel as much as they wanted with no worries about the Republic having them arrested. They had a strong sense of community. Everyone helped each other with jobs, supplies, and food, and made sure Snoke was always paid enough to travel so he could continue gaining followers. He lived in great wealth back then, even had multiple homes to call his own, and a handful of slaves at each home since the Galactic Empire legalized slavery on all systems. Thanks to Snoke’s intensive research on the history of the Sith, the cult found several tombs and shrines dating back tens of thousands of years. They were able to find a few Sith artifacts, scrolls and Holocrons built long before the beginning of the Rule of Two. The cult then hand-picked a lucky few to have these delivered to the Imperial Temple, where the Emperor gladly accepted their gifts over the years.

Of all the rumors Snoke knew circulated around his followers, one was true. He did get to meet Emperor Palpatine once. The Emperor had heard multiple stories about the cult, and their successes. As a token of gratitude, Palpatine had invited Snoke to personally meet him at the Imperial Palace. It was the culmination of everything Snoke had been set out to do his whole life. Meeting the Dark Lord of the Sith in the flesh was a rare privilege. How many others can say they’ve met their near-equivalent of a god? Snoke knew Sidious had been born a mortal, but he had achieved far more power and greatness than any other mortal could dream for. So, in a sense, Snoke viewed Sidious as a self-made god, an entity who rose from a status of relative normalcy to that of someone who had learned the ultimate secret: how to create life, and cheat death.

And then it was all taken away from them. Sidious was betrayed by his apprentice. The Empire crumbled apart. And the cult had no choice but to run to the Unknown Regions along with the remnants of the Empire.

Thirty years now, he had been waiting in the shadows. Like an animal forced to feed on scraps leftover by the scavengers, they had been living in secret no longer able to spread the message of Sith doctrine throughout the galaxy. They had scattered their forces following the Empire’s, hiding in the Unknown Regions to rebuild and regroup. Thirty years now, they had been preparing their forces. Now that the Starkiller weapon was complete, the time for waiting was finally over. Snoke could feel the excitement growing in the auditorium. Everyone was hanging on his every word.

“Even as we speak, our greatest weapon is undergoing preparations for its first attack on the New Republic. Soon, all of you will begin to be dispersed to your assigned locations across the galaxy, where your job will be to rally others to our cause and search for new members to initiate.

It will not be long before the galaxy realizes the Sith have returned. They will either join us, or be eliminated. Those who are wise enough to make the right choice will strengthen our forces. And then, once the galaxy has fully sided with us, they will turn on our enemies. The Light Side—and the last of the Jedi Order—will be snuffed out.” He extended his hands. “Even as we speak, one of my Knights is pursuing a map that will lead us to the new Jedi Temple. Once we find them, you will all have your own taste of the bloodshed that will befall them. That is my promise to you. And this time, we will ensure the Jedi will be extinct.”

“All hail the Sith!” they said in unison. “All hail Snoke!”

~

_Starkiller Base – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

Rey had spent the past few days focused on training exercises and meditation. This kept her plenty busy, which suited her just fine.

In the morning hours, she would bundle up and go train outside in the forest. Ilum was still much too cold for her but she could feel herself starting to get used to it the longer she was here. She’d run and run until she was surrounded by trees, then practice with the training droids for a while. Once she was exhausted and soaking wet from the snow, she’d trudge back to the Command Center and clean up. After that were her lessons. As of now, by Snoke’s command, she had to begin learning the specifics of military tactics and strategy. Her knowledge of those were limited for the time being, and now that she had an all but official commanding status in the First Order, she had to sharpen her skills. One day she would be leading the stormtroopers into battle, and she had to be ready to do it right. Rey spent hours and hours poring through the holobooks and vids on the subject, drilling all of it into her head to the point it was all she dreamed about when she could catch a few hours’ rest. When she could no longer keep her eyes open she would turn in for the night. She had her usual meal twice a day, but she ate alone rather than in the dining hall reserved for the other leadership on duty.

After nearly a week of this she was tired. And dare she say it, Rey felt lonely too. But, it gave her something to focus on. Something to distract her from her own pain, her own questions.

Now and then her thoughts drifted to the boy who ran away—Ben Solo. She knew it was foolish thinking but she wanted him back. Wanted to show her how amazing Starkiller base was and wanted to see him use his Force powers.

Thoughts of him were beginning to distract her from her training, and she hated it. If she was never going to see him again, he should just get out of her head already. So why did she still think about the captain who saved her from Jakku?

This morning, plans were changed. She was awoken by her comm beeping off, a sound she had been trained to respond to ever since she was brought to Exegol. The transmission was coming from the Command Center overbridge—specifically, General Pryde’s command station.

 _Ugh, what could that prick want now?_ she wondered as she picked up to answer.

“What? I was sleeping,” she snapped.

 _“Lady Rey, your presence is requested on the overbridge,”_ he replied curtly.

“What for?”

_“Don’t question me, brat.”_

She stuck out her tongue even though she knew he couldn’t see her. Fine, if he wanted to push her around, let him. Once he got used to that she would pull the rug out from under him, make him pay for all of it. Rey focused on that as she put on her outfit for the day, a dark red simple dress with sleeves that extended past her fingers and had small holes from her thumbs.

On the overbridge, she found that all the Starkiller leadership was gathered in Pryde’s command station. She walked in, ignoring the stares she got.

“Well, what is it?”

“We’ve received a message from the Exegol system. Master Snoke has ordered us to launch an attack on the planets in the Hosnian system,” said Pryde.

She didn’t know what to say, so she just blinked at them. She knew of Starkiller’s weapon capabilities, but she had never imagined it would happen so soon. Did that mean she would be sent out to fight soon? Or was it not her time yet? Rey found her body was stiffening as the weight of what Pryde said next settled in.

“We are currently in the process of launching the charging systems. Soon we will approach the nearest system and drain its sun. Then Hosnian Prime, as well as the four other New Republic planets, will be destroyed. According to our schedule we plan to have the attack commence at exactly 1300 hours today. The New Republic will either surrender to us or they will declare war. Either way, we will win. It’s only a matter of how many will die first.”

Rey swallowed hard. She wanted to ask if this meant the Sith Eternal planned to put her on the throne soon, but he might be angry if she pressed him for that. Now more than ever she had to remain patient. Even so, when she thought about what Pryde said something occurred to her and she found herself asking,

“How many will die in the attack?”

That question got her a lot of stares in the room. Rey quickly realized that had been the wrong thing to say. She cleared her throat and quickly added,

“What I mean is, if the numbers are big all the more reason the rest of the galaxy will be scared of us and want to surrender, right?”

“I suppose that’s true,” one of the generals muttered.

“The death toll will be just shy of 90 billion,” Pryde said matter-of-factly. “Anyone who bothers to look up the population of the Hosnian systems could answer that question.”

 _90 billion._ That was a number Rey could not possibly wrap her head around. She tried to picture what even 90 _million_ looked like, a tiny fraction of the lives that were about to be taken in a matter of hours, but it was still too big. She knew what over 3,000 looked like, thanks to the tally marks she had made on the walls of the AT-AT she called home for most of her childhood until Snoke found her; she imagined if each of those marks was a person…and multiply that by thirty million.

“You will be summoned to the lookout pavilion outside at the proper time where we will witness the attack,” Pryde finished. “Please answer promptly, Lady Rey.”

Rey didn’t pay attention to the rest of the discussion. She waited until she was dismissed, then stepped outside. The freezing cold air was starting to feel good; it was a quick and easy way to clear your head.

Death is a part of life. She had known this since she was a child and had watched merchants slaughter their livestock in the Jakku marketplace to sell the meat, then save the rest to feed their families. Some lives in the galaxy had to die so the others could survive. Whether you liked it or not, that was the way it was. Rey could accept that, and she had for a long time. Thanks to her training she had also grown to understand that her entitlement to the Sith throne meant that there were some lives that deserved to die so she could become Empress.

And yet the thought of all those planets, gone, all life and culture and history taken…it wasn’t quite what she had imagined when she thought of what her future would be. She wanted to rule the people of the galaxy, not kill them all. What would be left of the galaxy to rule if everyone was dead?

 _This_ is _part of the plan. You know this. You_ knew _what Starkiller was meant to do and now it’s happening, so you should be excited. You should be happy the New Republic is going to get what’s coming to them._

Except it wasn’t just the New Republic they would be destroying. It was every sentient life who happened to life on those systems—no matter whose side they were on, no matter what they had done in life, no matter how much or little they deserved to die for the cause. Of all those billions, how many were like Rey, kids who had been abandoned by their parents and were hoping for a better shot in life?

She looked out to the sky, watching the cold clouds drift by.

_This is everything you ever wanted…so why does it feel like you don’t want it?_

~

_Takodana – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

Fortunately for Ben Solo, work for a pilot was never hard to find.

Just a few days after leaving Naboo, he found a contract from a small planet in the Western Reaches. Some rare supplies needed to be delivered to the Terminus system. The client was concerned about the safety of the supplies during the trek, and therefore wanted to ensure it arrived without any harm done to it. The payment was ten thousand credits with an extra bonus upon completion. Ben had replied that he would take the job and was soon on Takodana and preparing to meet with Maz Kanata herself.

He arrived on the jungle planet around midday. Once the ship entered the atmosphere he landed less than half a mile from the infamous Takodana Castle, or more affectionately called ‘Maz’s Castle’ by those who knew its matriarch by name. The last time he was on this planet was the day after Lando picked him up from the Jedi temple. Lando, having decided Ben needed a warm welcome back to the outside world and a head start on his new journey in life, brought his pseudo-nephew to this place to meet Maz Kanata. Maz had helped Ben get set up with new clothes, gear, and a few weapons. Of course, along the way old enemies of Lando had traced them to Takodana and they had to fight their way out, not to mention they paid Maz back by delivering spices to one of her regular customers and nearly got arrested when the exchange went wrong, but that was another story. Now he was back several years later, much more seasoned and knowledgeable about how the world worked outside of Chandrilan palaces and Jedi temples.

Ben went through his weekly routine of his testosterone injection followed by doing a load of laundry. Then, before leaving to go meet with Maz, he picked up his comm and played back the message Finn left him while he was asleep last night. This was the fourth message Finn had sent since they parted ways about a week ago. Ben had replied to a couple of them, but not all. He was still somewhat bitter that Finn had chosen the Resistance over him, or more specifically, chose Poe Dameron over him.

_“Hey, Mr. Solo—I mean, Ben. It’s Finn again. Don’t know what time it is where you are so I hope I’m not bothering you. Anyway, good news…we’re finally moving to our new rebel base! General Organa was able to get us in hiding in Theed. It’s the capital city of Naboo so apparently it’s a really amazing place to see. We just set up our base there yesterday so things are a bit crazy right now. But more Resistance forces are going to be coming in soon and then we’ll finally be back on track! I don’t know, I’m kind of excited. I really want to see what the inside of the Royal Palace looks like but Poe says we probably won’t get to see the inside for a while. Also, I got to meet your mom in person yesterday when she arrived in Theed. I told her about you and she was happy to meet me. I like your mom a lot._

_Anyway, well, I got to go. I promised Snap and Poe I’d cover for them and they’re about to leave. Let me know how you’re doing. See you around!”_

He sighed, shutting off the comm. He wasn’t sure if he had meant it or not when he promised to keep in touch. If he went back to the Resistance he could see his mom trying to rope him in helping them out, and he was never going to do that. He was better off away from all of it, sticking to what he wanted to do.

It was better this way.

“Well, Kate, Delta,” he said to his droids, “whose turn is it to stay behind with the ship?”

“It’s always my turn. But I shall take on the burden of guarding this entire ship by myself once again,” Delta replied.

“Noted. Come on, Kate.” He slowed his walk as they walked on the roughly paved path leading to the castle so she could keep up. As the jungle cleared he saw the huge ancient formation loom above them, adorned with flags from all over the galaxy. High above the flags a huge statue of Maz welcomed all visitors to the castle, her arms open and outstretched in a manner that suggested invitation but power. He fixated on the view of the castle since it had been several years when he was here last; he had forgotten how big and grand-looking this place was. The stories of all the adventures that had gone down here went back thousands of years.

Inside, he heard music blaring and the ruckus of a crowd already starting to party even though it was still early in the day. That was one thing about this place he had to admire; it never slept. Maz’s Castle was constantly bustling with life no matter when you showed up. He just had to wonder what his client would be up to if they had requested to meet here, of all places.

“Whatever you do, don’t wander off, okay? Just stick close to me,” he warned K8. Instead of a beep of recognition, she butted into his leg.

[Look over there. There’s a ship! There’s a ship!]

“Over where?” He glanced around. Then he saw what she meant. He had been so fixated on the castle that he had not looked at his surroundings as they approached. Now that Ben paid attention he spotted a small Corellian freighter that stood about a hundred yards away from the castle near a small clearing. The dirt path led off in that direction as well, meaning none of the jungle obstructed Ben’s view of the ship. He could make it out clearly. It was a ship design he knew by heart, almost as well as he knew the _Odysseus_ , if not better, due to the fact that he had spent so much of his childhood learning it. He realized what K8 had been trying to say was this was not just ‘a’ ship; it was _his_ ship.

_Is that…oh, it had better not be…_

He clenched his jaw as he stared at the Corellian freighter. It was a model that had been considered outdated for decades, so they were already not the most common one to see around. The ship also showed signs of wear and tear. And if nothing else, he could just tell. He could always tell.

_Dammit. It is._

Ben walked inside. Just find the client and get out of here, he told himself. Maybe he would get lucky and they wouldn’t run into each other.

One thing he had going for him, as long as those two had not separated, one would help be a clear giveaway. As long as you weren’t on Kashyyyk of course, any Wookiee would stand out in a crowd. Ben headed to the center of the room where a large firepit stood, skinned animal carcasses and various vegetables all on spits slowly rotating above the flames. He could smell the food already and it made his stomach growl. Ben’s eyes were peeled for both his client and the person he prayed he wouldn’t see. A band played some horrifying hybrid of post-Imperial intergalactic punk and Toydarian modern jazz, but whatever they were trying to do the patrons must have loved it because no one was complaining and some were even nodding or humming along. Characters of all sorts were hanging out, some playing board games and card games while others slowly sipped exotic looking drinks. Even being closed off from the Force, Ben’s street smarts told him he was about to be tapped on the shoulder by someone behind him.

Except that he wasn’t tapped on the shoulder, but nudged roughly on his calf. Ben turned around and found that the four-foot tall humanoid was standing right behind him.

“Miss Kanata.”

“Oh, please. Call me Maz. We’re on a first name basis, kid.” She gestured over her shoulder. “Come on back and I’ll show you the goods I need delivered.”

She began walking away from the firepit, through the crowd of patrons which proved to be easier said than done. It fascinated him how this woman could carry such an attitude of confidence and strength despite her size. She was exactly how Ben remembered her when he last saw her. Last time, he had walked in here still donning his Jedi robes, following Lando around like the lost puppy he felt that he was. Just a scared kid who had spent over the past ten years on a remote planet training in the Force, suddenly thrust back into the heart of all the going’s-on in the galaxy. Now, Ben was back on Takodana a very different person than he was in those days. Even in just six years he had changed drastically. As he walked after her, he kept stealing glances around the room, thinking of the ship he had spotted outside. He kept trying to tell himself that there were hundreds, no, thousands of ships in the galaxy that could look exactly like that one, and that his own emotions could make him see little details that weren’t there. Maz slowed and looked at him.

“You expecting somebody?” she asked.

“Oh, um…not exactly.”

She shrugged off his answer. She could tell he was lying, but this was Maz. She could probably tell how many times you masturbated a week.

“Hmm. Don’t look so nervous. It’ll make the folks around you nervous too.”

“Just the jitters. Trying to cut back on cigs,” he lied. (Well, okay, a couple years ago he did try to cut back, but that had lasted only a few weeks, so it was only 98% a lie?)

“The way you keep looking over your shoulder suggests otherwise. You’re a bad liar. I knew you would be.” She resumed walking.

He had to change the subject. He knew what she was implying, and he wasn’t about to have that conversation. Maz couldn’t know what it was like.

“So, these goods…are they legal?” Ben dared ask as he followed her. K8 was doing such a good job of sticking close to him that now and then the edge of her retractable leg bumped into his heel.

“Of course they’re legal. What, do you think this place runs illegal practices of some kind?” she said dryly.

“Very funny. Look, I’ll do the job, but I don’t plan to put any targets on my back. I want this job to be clean.”

“Oh? You get in some hot water lately?” Maz asked with a glance over her shoulder at him.

Ben hesitated, unsure how much he should even say about last week’s events. Maz wouldn’t rat him out to the First Order, but she was a businesswoman at the end of the day, and Ben didn’t know how expensive his safety exactly was. She seemed to take a hint at what his silence met and just ushered him to a table in the back rather than wait for him to answer the question.

“Don’t worry, lad. Working for me, you’ll be taken care of. If I couldn’t make sure my employees made it back safe, then I would have gone out of business years ago.” She stopped at a table that happened to be the only empty one in the room. It had a bowl of fresh fruit as well as a couple loaves of bread set out, and Ben realized this was meant to be solely her table. “But first, you hungry?”

“Depends if you’re offering.”

That earned a laugh from Maz. She beamed up at him, hands on her hips, her rings and bracelets clacking against each other.

“Good answer. Sit. You want caf, tea, or perhaps something stronger?”

“Caf. Thank you, Maz.” Ben pulled up a chair at the table and Maz sat across from him. She snapped her fingers at a nearby waiter and seconds later a tray of steaming skewers was brought over to the table. Ben eyed the hot oil dripping off the semi-charred meat, and the butter glistening on the boiled vegetables. A mug was set in front of Ben’s empty plate filled with a rich dark roast that smelled amazing.

“Help yourself. After food, we can go over the details of the job and then the three of you will be on your way,” said Maz.

“Three? How did you know I have another droid?” Ben asked, perplexed. But it was not quite enough to stop him from stuffing his plate with skewers, bread, and fruit. He always worked up a huge appetite after doing his injection. “What, you talked to Lando about me or something? He helped me find Delta, you know. And got me a good deal on my ship.”

“I’m not talking about your droids.”

Ben’s slice of heavily buttered bread was halfway to his mouth when she said that, and it stayed there. He blinked at the ancient woman, and she just stared back with a small smile, her bright eyes gleaming behind the thick goggles.

“You hired another pilot?” he asked.

“You’ll thank me for this later, kid. Trust me.” As he watched, Maz glanced behind her to a vacant doorway that led to a long, unlit corridor, and she gave a small nod. Whoever she had nodded to must have been someone who had been watching them the entire time.

When Ben saw who emerged from the shadows and sat down at the table beside Maz, his appetite left him. His mouth hung open. He knew it made him look like a dumb fool, but he could not help it.

After all, he had not seen his father since he was ten years old.

“Dad…” He set down the slice of bread.

His father did not just look older in the physical sense, the ways you’d naturally expect someone to age in almost twenty years. His age showed in his eyes. He had seen things, done things, said things, and been told things that had worn down his soul. He was a person who had realized his past was catching up to him and was only beginning to accept the consequences. He was weathered, hardened, yet still vulnerable and insecure in all the ways sentient beings will always be no matter how old they get. He was still Ben’s father in every way…and yet, at the same time, Ben found himself looking at a total stranger. Then the man spoke, and two simple words were all it took for all the best memories Ben had of him to be stolen away by unspeakable pain.

“Hey, Jyn,” said Han.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's probably pretty obvious to readers but this chapter is very personal to me because of my relationship with my own father and how it changed when I came out as transgender and began transitioning. No hard feelings to Han Solo and if you see him as the accepting/supportive type I'm all for it; this is just me projecting my feelings onto Ben ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -transphobia/rejection of a person because they are trans/referring to a trans person as their assigned gender at birth  
> -genocide/mass execution (as seen from afar, but feeling the effects of it)  
> -a conversation about transphobia and not accepting someone for being trans

The two men were frozen in time for a moment, staring at each other, unsure if they wanted this to be a dream or not. Ben tried to remember what he had looked like the last time his dad would have seen him, and compared it to how much he had changed. And of course, he couldn’t help but compare that image to what Han must have wanted to see instead.

Ben felt sick to his stomach. He craved a cig now more than he had in the past week.

The last time they saw each other, Ben and Luke had returned to Chandrila for a brief family reunion. They only planned to stay a couple weeks, since Luke worried about being apart from his students for long. Ben must have been only 16 or 17 at the time, still a boy and not yet a man, still outgrowing a child’s habits and struggling to find his place. The whole family and their friends gathered at Han and Leia’s home, a beautiful villa just outside of the city they have moved to only a couple years ago. It was supposed to be just a happy gathering for an intergalactic holiday. A few days when everyone took a break from the lives they had chosen for themselves and pretended they were just a normal family. And at first, it was just that; the food was perfect, the music and celebration went smoothly. They even got through the gift exchange without any setbacks.

But Ben and Han hardly spoke the whole time, much less acknowledged each other. Instead, Han had just looked at him like one looks at someone who is trespassing in unauthorized territory.

Leia had tried to get them to mingle by arranging their seats directly across each other at the table, just like how they were at Maz’s table right now. She had tried getting Ben to talk about how his training was going. But Han didn’t listen. The message had been clear. _I don’t see you as the kid I raised. You’re a stranger in this house._

As memories he had not touched in a long time flooded through him, Ben stole a cutting glare at Maz Kanata.

“You set this up,” he said in an accusatory tone.

“Caught red-handed,” she said, a small smile on her face.

Ben was so angry it was all he could do to hold it together. His clenched fists shook under the table. He studied Han’s expression and saw an equal amount of confusion, but instead of anger, there was a haunting bitterness. Almost as if this moment was something Han had been expecting to happen.

Han let out a deep sigh from the pit of his stomach and folded his hands in front of him.

“Maz, I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” he said. Ben tensed just at the sound of his dad’s voice. He missed it, and he did not want to admit that he did.

“For once, we agree on something.” Ben stood up and began to walk away.

He made it halfway down the corridor when Maz caught up to him, apparently after saying something to Han that Ben did not catch.

“Kid, listen. If you don’t at least try to reconcile with your father, you’re going to regret it,” she snapped at him. Her tone had turned strangely hostile, not the kind but reserved woman who had been speaking moments ago. This was another side to her. She was _angry_ with him for walking away.

Ben returned the glare.

“I don’t have to reconcile anything. You don’t get it.”

“Gods, I should have known you’d be just as stubborn as Leia…”

“Yeah, I’m a lot like my mother. What a surprise,” he muttered.

She sighed then looked back up at him.

“Look…I understand. I know some of what happened between you and your father. How you chose to take a path in life that he didn’t want to accept. But how will you know he’s changed if you don’t at least try to talk to him?”

“You heard what he called me. He _knows_ that’s not my name anymore.”

“Then at least give it a chance. I’ve seen this happen countless times in my life. Trust me when I say you don’t want to wait until it’s too late to make amends.”

He looked away. After encountering Ahsoka Tano, this was the last thing he wanted to deal with. It seemed the past few weeks had done nothing but open up old wounds. Bring to the forefront all the things he was trying to keep away from. He did miss his dad…at least, he missed the way they used to get along before Ben came out. But those days were long gone, and Ben seriously doubted his dad had changed at all in the past several years. But, he also knew Maz was not going to back down, no matter how much he stated his case. And besides, he could use the money.

“You’re not going to let me out of this, huh?”

Her stare answered his question enough. Ben huffed and crossed his arms.

“Fine. But if the job goes sour because we couldn’t get along, that’s on you.”

Back at the table, Han stared at his son again. He was sipping from a mug that had been filled with some sort of ale. Ben had to look away. He could take a lot of things, but the look in his father’s eyes like he was staring at the person responsible for taking away his only child…that was too much.

“Now…can we talk business?” Maz glanced between both of them.

“Yes, Maz. Let’s,” said Han.

“Now, the shipment. I have fifteen crates of medical supplies that needs to go to Terminus. Med pacs, adhesive spray, bandages, medicine…you get the idea. The planet is not controlled by the New Republic or First Order and has remained neutral. However, they sent me an urgent request asking me to dispatch someone to send the supplies immediately. So, I figured, why not send the man with the fastest ship in the galaxy?” With that, she glanced at Han.

“And I’m here, why?” Ben asked.

“Because you’re just as good a pilot as your old man, if not better. You know all the bypasses to avoid the main hyperlanes, which will ensure the Terminus people will get their shipment without delay. Take the _Falcon_ with you; they’ll be expecting it.”

“You mean that piece of crap he calls a ship?” Ben asked.

“Hey, watch it!” Han snapped.

“Oh, _now_ you want to talk to me. Your rusty bucket’s where you draw the line?”

Maz slammed her hands down on the table, sending large ripples through Ben’s caf.

“Solo! _Both_ of you! I may be many centuries older than your sorry asses but that doesn’t mean I have to be the only adult around here. Ben, your ship will be safe on Takodana while you go with your father. You’ll be there and back in less than half a day at most. Fifty-fifty split of the payment.”

“It’s got to be split three ways. Chewie gets paid as much as me.”

Ben bit on his tongue as Maz divided up their advance payments. Ben had not seen ‘Uncle Chewbacca’ in many years either. As a young child the Wookiee smuggler had been one of his favorite playmates and role models. Ben understood a bit of Shryiiwook, and he could even speak several words and phrases, but last time he tried that he lost his voice for a whole day as it was not a language easily spoken by any non-Wookiees. The Wookiee culture recognized around a dozen genders specific to their species, and they had a complex system of gender roles in their families, so when Chewbacca found out about Ben he wasn’t nearly as disoriented as Han. However, Ben had not seen him since the family reunion either. And Chewbacca’s loyalties stood with Han at the end of the day. So Ben didn’t see the Wookiee explicitly siding with him either, at least not where Han could see it.

“Speaking of my boyfriend, why isn’t he with you right now?” Maz asked.

“He’s working on the _Falcon_. Doing a few repairs.” Han nodded to the entrance.

“Tell him I said hello. I like that Wookiee. His common sense is the only reason both of you are still alive, don’t you forget it. Now be on your way.” With that, Maz scooted them out the door.

~

_Theed, Naboo – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

Ahsoka had stayed with the Resistance on Naboo for the past week. After losing the trail on the mysterious Dark Side user, it did not seem like she had many other options for the time being. When the time came, the Force would guide her again. She just had to wait.

Initially the Resistance offered Ahsoka a position as a Commander, given her military history, but Ahsoka had to decline. Her fighting days were over, and the Force called her to the cause somewhere other than the frontlines. Instead, Ahsoka helped where she could behind the scenes by consulting with military strategists and delivering supplies across the base, all as a third-party ally. It was easy enough. And this way it helped her stay focused on the Force’s guidance, whenever it would call to her again.

This day started like any of the past several days had. Ahsoka went into the gardens with a handful of others to collect fresh fruit and vegetables for the cooks, then supervised the new recruits’ morning drills. After that she took her regular stroll. She watched a group of Resistance recruits, currently on meal break and enjoying it on one of the many docks connecting their base to the Solleu River. She knew them all on a first-name basis now. Poe, Snap, Finn, Jessika, Paige, and Rose. Kids from all corners of the galaxy, all different backgrounds, all with their own personal reasons for joining the cause. The two sisters were breaking a loaf of bread to share among the group, while the two pilots were bundled up together and holding hands. It made Ahsoka think about when she had been that age, fighting for the Rebellion undercover. She missed that young optimism, that energy and desire for adventure.

She must have stood there too long because at some point Rose glanced up and noticed her. The young woman smiled brightly, like she was looking at a lifelong friend, not the weird old lady who had been hanging out with them for the past week.

“Morning, Miss Ahsoka!” she called out. “Are you hungry?”

“Who, me?” She jokingly glanced to her left and right. “I think I’m a little too old for your club.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Poe elbowed Snap. “I mean, have you seen this guy?”

“All right, all right. But only because I have nothing better to do,” Ahsoka teased. She walked alongside the dock to the river as she began to enter under the large cobblestone bridge shielding the group from the sunlight. Snap and Poe were already making jokes about each other’s age and used a few slang terms that Ahsoka felt embarrassed she did not understand, but she guessed it had something to do with the fact that Poe and Snap were gay. Nothing like new words thrown around to remind you that you weren’t one of the kids anymore. But before she could awkwardly ask them to educate her, something made Ahsoka freeze.

At first, the feeling was in her head—a rush of senses and high alerts, like being in a crowd full of people who could turn on you at any moment and had all the warning signs for it. The darkness under the bridge suddenly turned white as blinding snow, only the light was not coming from one single place, but multiple beams of pulsing red light aimed directly at her. Ahsoka pressed her palm against her forehead, wincing in pain.

She had felt this many years ago shortly before she heard the news of Alderaan’s destruction. But whatever this was, it was at least ten times’ worse.

“Ahsoka…?” Rose ran to her and touched her gently. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

But Ahsoka couldn’t speak, as she realized the weight of what was seconds away from occurring, and she was completely powerless to stop it.

~

_Starkiller Base – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

At exactly ten minutes before noon, Rey was summoned to the podium outside the Command Center. Snoke specifically instructed her to look her very best for today, being that she was going to be making an appearance before all the First Order forces stationed on the base. He wanted her to be presentable, flawless, polished.

Until Snoke gained his full power back, she was the face of the Sith. She represented all they were working to rebuild on Exegol. So she had to look the part. Show the First Order—and the galaxy—that the Sith had returned.

Now, Rey was wearing a formal black gown, which Snoke instructed her to only wear for special occasions such as this one. The neck of the gown had three crisscrossing straps, and the long skirt had a side slit exposing the straps of her high heels. The front’s V neck reached almost all the way to her waist, and the back of the gown was open and also had several crisscrossing straps. Her hair was pulled up in an intricately woven up-do, thanks to a personal droid assigned to Rey who helped her with it. She was also allowed to even wear makeup. And although it wasn’t what Rey ideally would want to wear—she liked warm, soft colors, not very dark eyeshadow, lipstick, and foundation that made her skin almost snow white—it did make her look very pretty, so she was still pleased with the results.

She stood to the left of General Pryde, who faced the First Order legion standing at attention in front of the podium. Behind them, a gigantic red flag that must have been at least two hundred feet tall hung in front of the podium. To Pryde’s right stood the rest of First Order High Command, most of whom Rey still didn’t know by name. As Pryde looked out to the army, he spoke through a mic attached to his collar that made it so everyone could hear him clearly. Rey had never been intimidated by him before, and didn’t plan to be anytime soon, but she had to admit his words at this volume struck her with a sense of terror.

“Today is the end of the Republic,” he said. “The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder. What you are about to witness is a moment that will be remembered throughout galactic history for millennia to come. At this very moment in a system far from here, the New Republic lies to the galaxy while secretly supporting the treachery of the loathsome Resistance. They have convinced the people that division will keep the peace, all the while their lack of leadership has become their undoing. On this day, the entire galaxy will behold our strength, our capability.”

In spite of the cold, Rey felt sweat beading her palms. Knowing that hundreds of people were looking right in her direction, watching her every move, was terrifying. But she needed this, Snoke had told her via hologram earlier today. She needed to get used to making such public appearances and having every move scrutinized. It was the life of an Empress.

She clenched her fists and looked up at the cloudy sky. In just a few moments, the sky was going to light up, and ninety billion lives were going to be taken, just like that.

 _This is what you wanted,_ she silently reminded herself. _This is what all your training has led up to. You should be happy._

Rey glanced over at Pryde as he finished his speech. He looked like he could go on talking for hours, but they had a schedule to keep. She looked back to the sky, and a wave of sickness made her whole body feel heavy, weighed down by the horrid realization.

_No…that’s not true, is it? I didn’t want this. I wanted to rule the people, not kill them all._

Snoke wanted her to think that anyone who was not either of or loyal to the Sith Eternal and the First Order were consequently traitors, either by ignorance or intent, and they deserved to die. She had to view people that way if she was going to become Empress. But deep down, in spite of everything she had been trained to believe by Snoke, Rey still knew that in some parts of the galaxy there was such a thing as ‘innocence,’ and that killing innocent people was wrong. That there was a reason to believe that people were capable of doing good things, and that flowers could grow and bloom even on a place like Jakku. It was that belief that helped Rey survive her childhood until she was brought to Exegol.

And yet, did that even matter? Who cared how she felt about what they were about to do? It’s not as if she had a choice. No matter how much she did not want this, it was still going to happen. She was still here

There was no way out of this.

“This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to the Senate, to their cherished fleet. All remaining systems will bow to the First Order and will remember this as the last day of the Republic!” He extended his hand out to the army as they all saluted. Then, after a brief pause, he clenched his fist and made the command, “ _Fire_!”

A moment later, the sky lit up with a brilliant scarlet. Rey felt like she was being choked.

_This is your life now._

~

_Takodana – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

Ben did not say a word as they left Maz’s castle. Before leaving, he snatched half a loaf of bread and a couple pieces of fruit from the table, mostly out of spite for Maz setting him up like this. He commed Delta and sent the droid a message to stay behind with the ship and keep it locked down. Outside, he stared straight ahead, avoiding the glances his dad kept giving him. Around age sixteen or seventeen, the hormone injections finally did their job and Ben had sprouted taller than his dad. Now, rather than looking up at the older Solo, Ben glanced down slightly. As much as he tried to avoid his dad, he could not help but notice the scratches and marks on Han’s jacket and the way his shoulders slumped slightly with age.

There were a hundred things Ben could say to him right now—ask why Han hadn’t said a word to him all this time, if he had even stayed in contact with Ben’s mom, if he was fully back to his old way of doing things, if he still saw Ben as the daughter who became convinced ‘she’ was a man—but he stayed silent. He was not going to be the one to break the silence.

Beside him, Han cleared his throat and adjusted his jacket as they walked. K8 followed close behind. When Han finally did speak, they were almost halfway to the _Falcon_.

“So…what have you been up to?”

Ben took a deep breath.

“Me? Oh, you know, work. Keeping busy.”

“Yeah, me too.” Han stopped walking, a signal for Ben to do the same. “Look, if you must know, I didn’t ask Maz to set this up either. In case you were wondering. I was just as surprised as you were.”

“Good to know.” Ben quickened his pace so he walked ahead of his dad. He lit up a cig as he walked towards the _Falcon_ , where he saw Chewbacca working on the sensor dish. Closer up, Ben looked up at the ship and had to choke down old memories from his childhood. Countless hours sitting on top of the _Falcon,_ handing his dad tools as Han explained what he was using them for, and even more hours sitting on his dad’s lap in the cockpit in flight. Everything Ben learned about piloting and repairing ships, he learned from his dad. Sure, over the years he had crafted and perfected those skills on his own, but Han set that foundation for him early on. ‘Falcon’ was one of Ben’s first words.

Chewbacca had not seen them yet as his back was turned to them, so Ben took the opportunity to face his dad again.

“Have you talked to Mom at all?”

“Not for some time. She doesn’t want to see me. Not since…well, you know…”

Ben remembered. He hadn’t been there to see it happen, but Leia told him about it later. It happened only a few months before he finally left the Jedi Temple. Later, his mom would tell him that her and Han had been drifting apart over the years, which Ben already knew, but she reminded him that since he came out it had gotten even worse. After Leia left the Senate and began leading the Resistance, her and Han saw each other less often. When they did there was always something to argue about. Ben knew his parents had fallen out of love for each other. The old spark of romance that drew them together during the war—the undeniable devotion and attraction that happens when you’re forced to be around each other and never know if you’ll survive for the next day—had faded as they got older. Without the threat of the Empire and the thrill of action drawing them together, the relationship fell apart. One day, Han finally left Chandrila and did not come back. He did not officially divorce her, as the scandal of her biological father’s revelation had been bad enough for her career, but they were married in only the legal sense now. Everyone who knew Han and Leia on a personal level knew it was over.

“You hate seeing me again, don’t you?” asked Ben.

“I…it’s complicated.” Han rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t…I didn’t think you wanted to see me. Seeing how we, you know, don’t see eye to eye anymore. But I never stopped caring about you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.” Ben crossed his arms.

Han looked increasingly uncomfortable, even stealing glances up at the Falcon as if hoping Chewie would see what was happening and come over to bail him out.

“Look…I just didn’t want you making a big mistake. I didn’t want you living with regret. I was afraid I’d look at you and see that you—”

“Then look at me. Look at me! Do I look like I regret choosing this life for myself?” Ben spread his arms, as if that would make his clothing choice and the effects of hormone treatment more obvious. “I know you think I’m a freak and I’m throwing my life away.”

“That’s not—”

“But you know what, I don’t care what you think anymore. And I guess if you need to keep believing that so you fall asleep better at night, that’s fine with me.” Ben dug the heels of his boots into the dirt. It felt good to say it aloud after all these years.

When he looked at his dad now, all he remembered were the hurtful things Han told him when he first came out. He took it when the kids at school gave him a hard time about his parents; he could take it when the teachers expected him to be better than everyone else just because of where he came from; he could take when a few of the other Jedi students shut him out and treated him like an outsider because they had not been raised to understand it; it damaged him in the long run, but Ben had endured it. But the look in his dad’s eyes like his own child had become a stranger in a heartbeat? Ben had never gotten over that moment. When he hugged his dad goodbye before leaving for the Jedi temple, Han had barely hugged back. As much as Ben was happy with deciding to transition, sometimes he thought he’d trade it all away just for one more day with his dad and feeling like Han truly loved him.

Instead of blowing up at Ben’s words, though, Han seemed to deflect them. Or at least, put them aside to respond to them later. Han walked past him towards the _Falcon_.

“We’d better get going. We can talk more about this later. Maz won’t want us behind on schedule,” he mumbled.

Ben supposed that was as good of a response as he was going to get for now. He began to follow his dad. Chewie glanced behind him and finally spotted the two. As the Wookiee jumped down off the _Falcon_ and approached Ben to give him a hug, Ben had to smile slightly.

“Hey, Uncle Chewie. How have you been?” he started to ask, when Chewie grabbed him and pulled him in tight. Ben couldn’t breathe for a second, but he didn’t mind. Wookiee hugs were never something to complain about.

“I’ve done a little work on her lately. But she’s mostly still the same.” Han began walking up the ramp, followed close behind by his copilot.

 _You use the proper pronouns for your own stupid ship but can’t for your own kid? Go figure,_ Ben thought bitterly.

He began to walk after them, when something held him back, like an invisible string suddenly tugged on him from behind. Something felt wrong. Ben tensed and looked around, but did not see anything dangerous or strange that would explain his sense of unease. Yet instead of going away, the feeling grew worse and worse. He backed away, still looking around and into the nearby jungle for any sign.

Han called out to him and then noticed the look in Ben’s eyes. His brow furrowed with concern and he walked up to him.

“Hey, you all right, kid?”

He did not answer. He couldn’t. The feeling was so strong that even being closed off from the Force, it was enough to nearly knock him over. But why did he feel like something so horrible was happening or about to happen, yet no danger was in sight? Something in him needed to run for help, to get away from it, but he had no idea where to run.

“Jyn, what is it?” Han asked louder.

But Ben felt it before he saw it. And that’s when he realized the threat of danger was not towards him, but across the galaxy, so imminent and gigantic that it was the only thing he could feel in the Force right now. Billions of souls, all realizing in a split moment that they were about to die.

_Oh gods, no…_

Both men looked up and saw several pale streaks in the sky. They looked somewhat like shooting stars in slow motion, only it was the middle of the day. There was a small glimpse of what looked like reddish bursts. However small it looked from here that could only mean this was happening halfway across the galaxy, near the Core Worlds. All at once, the billions of souls’ sense of terror was gone, replaced by the sickening sensation of death. A death that was far from the natural order of how the Force gave life and took it away. This was much different than that.

“What the hell is that?” Han asked, staring up at the sky.

Ben couldn’t speak yet, but he knew the answer. Starkiller base had made their attack.

The galaxy would never be the same again.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trudgen's faceclaim: Dominique Jackson (https://vz.cnwimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/dj.jpg)  
> Ap'lek's faceclaim: Trace Lysette (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/be/17/35/be1735cfe2b297c45898cc1151c4da3d.jpg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS:  
> -cult customs, including hurting the cult's slaves  
> -references to previously explained genocide  
> -more misgendering/deadnaming of a trans character

_The Sith Citadel, Exegol -_ _Month 5, Day 25,_ _34 ABY_

The entire Sith Eternal gathered in the auditorium, dressed in their formal gowns and surrounded by their slaves who knelt between them. Hundreds crowded around, clustered as close as they could for the event. There, once assembled, they all listened to the live audio feed from Starkiller base as General Pryde gave his speech. Then, after waiting for what seemed to be an eternity, the weapon was discharged at last.

When the planets exploded, everyone erupted in cheers and celebration, filling the Citadel with the sound of applause. The elite members of the cult even poured themselves glasses of wine, and as per an old custom of the cult, flavored their wine with a few droplets of blood from their slaves by cutting them. Prayers to the long-deceased ancient lords of the Sith were lifted up. Offerings were left at the feet of many of the giant statues in the Citadel, depending on which specific Sith a cultist member may be personally devoted to. They left plates of food, jewelry, family heirlooms, and belongings or body parts of those who had been killed by the Sith Eternal, whether for a ritual or for simply getting in the way.

As the celebrations carried on, Snoke sat on his throne in the auditorium, leading his followers in the prayers and songs offered up to the Sith. It was their greatest moment of triumph yet. The First Order’s new weapon had proved its worth. The rest of the work left to win back the galaxy would be over before they knew it. For them, the near thirty years in exile was finally over. Deliverance had come.

Ren, however, watched the surreal festivities from a distance. She had never been one to participate with the Sith Eternal during events like this, aside from the ones extremely important to their beliefs. Even though she had been allied with the cult for many years and trained in the Dark Side thanks to their studies, she still felt like an outsider most of the time.

Because Ren was not entirely like them. For one, she was Force-sensitive. As it stood, Snoke was the only official member of the cult who was Force-sensitive at all. A few may have some inklings to it, but no more than an intuition that might help them win at a game of cards or run a bit faster in battle—little signs from the Force many beings have but lack the power to hone in. For another, the cult’s purpose was to study the Dark Side, devote themselves to it, spread the teachings of the ways of the Sith. Ren’s purpose, on the other hand, was to assassinate their enemies, to strike fear in anyone who defied them. She was different. She was being called to a greater purpose. They might not see it yet, but she knew Snoke had identified her potential. After all, he was the reason she was here in the first place and had come this far working with the cult. Without Snoke, she would have been left for dead a long time ago.

Ren observed them in her own silent way. She had to admit, the cult had developed an admirably intricate way of following Sith teachings when none of them were Force-sensitive. They all had hundreds of prayers and songs memorized by heart, and could perform the most complex rituals flawlessly. Most of them involved using a slave’s blood to write out specific words in the Sith language on a hard surface, along with listing the names of deceased Sith in a particular order. It could go on for hours and hours sometimes. As she watched them, Ren took a lock of her red hair and began braiding it absently.

When the celebrating was finally over, Ren walked back into the auditorium. Snoke, noticing her, beckoned her closer with a small hand gesture. Immediately, Ren knelt in front of the obsidian throne and bowed her head to him, her half-made braid falling apart.

“Yes, Master Snoke?”

“Go to the Byss system and fetch Ap’lek. I also want you to locate Trudgen. Several weeks ago she informed me she was still aiding First Order advances in taking the Corellia system, and we need her as well.”

Ren smiled a little. She missed her fellow Knights. Snoke took them all in with the promise of giving them their own positions of power once the First Order won the war. They were the cult’s finest trained and tuned weapons.

“Yes, Master Snoke. I’ll go right away.” Ren paused. “It’s soon, isn’t it?”

“Of course, my dear Ren.” Snoke grinned. “Soon you’ll have all the power and wealth you ever wanted. You and the other Knights.”

“As long as my Knights and myself are all given equal shares, I will be happy,” Ren could not help but state. She had to believe Snoke would not be unjust with them when the war was over, but she just had to be sure. She expected Snoke to snap or her, or accuse her of challenging his trustworthiness. But instead, he just gave a small nod to her, his ancient, piercing eyes seeming they could read right through her.

“Go. Be swift, Ren. Now is not the time for idleness.”

“Of course. I will not be idle.” Ren bowed again, then got up to leave the Citadel. The closer she drew to the ship waiting for her, the faster she walked.

Of all the Knights, Ren was the oldest as well as the most seasoned in combat, to the point that sometimes she felt more like their mother than older sister. Trudgen, however, came close to equaling Ren in strength. Trudgen was a Lethan Twi’lek, deadly in combat and protective of the other Knights. As if being a very rare sort of Twi’lek did not make her appearance unique enough, Trudgen was also covered in Sith tattoos that she had been given for part of her training. Each tattoo represented something she had had to endure. While Trudgen was only vague about it, Ren knew it had something to do with the culture she was born and raised in, but of course, that did not matter.

And then there was Ap’lek, a warrior who came from a humanoid species that did not possess eyes. But that did not stop her from being a deadly warrior. Rather, she used her sightlessness to her advantage, as she had learned how to use the Force to help her ‘see’ in her mind what was around her. Others would identify a person by their species, their height, clothes, and so on—but Ap’lek could see others based on their energy, strength, and emotions. In that sense, Ap’lek understood Ren and the other Knights more than anyone else could, save for perhaps Snoke.

Each Knight had her own strengths and weaknesses. Ren could kill any politician, chief executive officer, royalty, or crimelord and not leave a single trace of evidence. Trudgen was creative when it came to combat and battle strategies. Ap’lek could read people like no other and use that information to help or hurt them. Together, all of them would be unstoppable.

Ren would do anything for her fellow Knights, and they would do anything for her.

~

Snoke watched the master of his Knights disperse. Her long cape flowed behind her as she donned her helmet, an intricately handmade mask she had crafted to help hide her identity during her missions. He smiled, admiring the way her long red hair flowed, thinking it would be much more practical if she just cut it short but it would make her much less attractive. He waited until she had left the Citadel and he could hear her starting her ship outside to leave Exegol.

Once Ren was gone, Snoke looked about the room at the remaining members of the cult still gathered.

“Return to your duties. I must be alone,” he said. He did not have to speak loud; the room was designed in such a way that anyone sitting on the obsidian throne would have their voice echoed throughout the auditorium so all present could hear clearly. Without a moment’s delay, the Sith Eternal obeyed their leader and dispersed. Snoke watched them go, hands folded in his lap. When he was alone, he activated a hologram to summon General Pryde. He could sense the General still in high spirits from the successful attack on the New Republic. Pryde stood at attention in his office.

 _“Greetings, Master Snoke,”_ he said, followed by a polite bow.

“General, are you alone?”

Pryde hesitated, then made a motion that seemed to be locking the door to his office.

 _“Yes. We are alone,”_ he confirmed a moment later.

“Good. I have news for you.” Snoke paused a moment, then continued. “We have entered the second phase of the plan. In the course of the next few days, I will dispatch the Knights to their assigned locations throughout the galaxy.”

 _“Does that mean…_ it _will be soon?”_ Snoke could see the shudder of delight ripple through Pryde’s body.

Snoke felt it too. The Dark Side’s growing strength in the Force, slowly ripping apart the balance, like a tapestry being torn in two thread by thread. The Dark Side’s grip on the galaxy swelling with new energy as it reeled from nearly one hundred billion lives killed intentionally and instantly, all from the will of one Order. The Dark Side in its early stages of overpowering the Light again.

“Yes. Very soon. With Starkiller base in full operation, _it_ is only a matter of time.”

Pryde nodded with a small smile.

 _“And the Knights still have no idea about…the plan?”_ he asked.

“Of course not. Ren does not know, so neither will they. The Knights may be our allies, but at the end of the day they will do whatever they must to look out for each other. They also will not admit it but they consider Ren their leader more than myself. She’s their idol. They hang onto every word she says. Whereas I am the one who…finished what the Empire started with them. I’m their means to an end. Their leader only in name.” Snoke smiled slightly. “And that is suitable. We can use that to our advantage. As long as Ren is kept in the dark, the Knights will have no chance of catching onto us. And she is too blindsided by her own desires to see it.”

 _“Excellent. But…what about Rey?”_ Pryde pressed. _“She still believes she’s your only student.”_

“Exactly, General. That is why I trained this one on Exegol, you know. I knew my most powerful student would have to be isolated from the others, would have to be convinced she is the only one…that she is set apart for a reason.”

_“I am sorry if I seem as if I doubt your abilities, Master Snoke, but I have been watching Rey recently. She is…unstable, and at times even unpredictable. I do not know what will happen if she finds out about the Knights, or of the plan.”_

“The Sith Eternal is Rey’s only home,” Snoke snapped, cutting him off. “Betrayal will never cross Rey’s mind. She has nowhere else to go. Even if she learns of the Knights’ existence, she is too devoted to me to turn against me. I know this for a fact. I can see all of her thoughts and desires. All her intent. And all she wants is to obey me.” This made Snoke smile to himself. He could not help but boast of the results of his work on his prized student. In his eyes, Rey was the product of all his most intimate studies of the Force, the Dark Side, and the ways of the Sith. She was his legacy.

 _“As always, I trust your discretion, Master Snoke. I apologize.”_ Pryde bowed again.

“Go, then. Consult with First Order High Command about the next offenses on the major star systems. And bring Rey with you for the first assault. Ensure that she always remains presentable.”

She was, after all, going to represent them for a good while. Since she had already been a ways down the road of transitioning by the time Snoke found her, he was left little choice. Better to dress her up and make her look pretty than try to reverse it and risk anyone outside of the cult finding out.

 _“Yes, sir,”_ Pryde said.

Before ending the transmission, Snoke finished by saying,

“She will be useful. You’ll see. We need her for the next phase of the plan.”

~

_Takodana – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

“Jyn…what the hell is that?” Han asked for the fourth and final time, this time nearly shouting at the top of his lungs.

Ben was kneeling on the ground, holding his head and rocking back and forth. Was this what his mother, his uncle, and the late Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi felt when Alderaan was destroyed? That had been two billion people who died that day, he remembered. How much bigger was this? How much worse was this?

 _Oh gods please make it stop,_ he begged the Force.

But he couldn’t make it stop. The screams and the deaths, the level of chaos and imbalance in the Force itself, having so many lives unnaturally swept away and with such violence, such ill intent, such _hatred_ …it was the worst feeling Ben had felt yet in his entire life. Other times had just been a single experience of pain and suffering, but this was the equivalent of experiencing the heavy weight of billions and billions of levels of suffering all at once. It was enough pain to cover thousands of lifetimes. And even now, Ben knew this was what he could feel when he was closed off from the Force, when the Force could only reach him in unavoidable magnitudes such as this. He wanted to be sick.

He felt his father’s hand on his back, and Chewbacca’s sturdy presence close by. Oddly enough that seemed to help bring him back to Takodana a little. Ben swallowed the taste of bile and stood up.

“It’s the First Order…they’ve done it,” he managed to say.

“First Order? What are you saying?” Han had lowered his voice, but his tone had now become grave.

Slowly, in bits and pieces, Ben told his father about Starkiller base. How he had witnessed it for himself and barely escaped with his life. How a young stormtrooper had helped him escape and ended up deserting the First Order. He left out details about the girl Rey for now, thinking his dad would waste time by prying into it. As he did, Chewbacca and Han kept looking up at the streaks in the sky, the sick feeling of dread apparent on their faces.

By now, the sight had attracted the attention of patrons who had been hanging out around the outside of Maz’s castle. As they began to take in what they were seeing, shouts and hollers were directed at those still inside to come and see. Thus slowly more people began running out of the castle to see. Some began to seethe and vent their rage at the First Order; others wept quietly; a few were pulling up HoloNet feed on their datapads to see if anyone in the Core Worlds was broadcasting the catastrophe or had more information. Most just stared in silent, stunned horror.

Ben watched them numbly, and realized this was only the beginning.

“That weapon…Dad, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. You wouldn’t believe it.”

“I do…” Han sighed, glancing up at his copilot. “I was on the first Death Star myself, you know. Right after they destroyed Alderaan. But compared to this…”

“History is repeating itself.” When he said it aloud like that, the full weight sank in.

Because he had been wrong the whole time. Wrong about the First Order just being a small band of extremists whose bark was worse than their bite. Wrong about the First Order having little to no threat on the galaxy’s safety and peace. Even when he saw Starkiller base for himself, he still doubted the weapon’s capabilities. Sure it scared him half to death when he first saw it, but at that point he had no proof the weapon would work or how long until it was operational. Surely whatever they turned Ilum into was nothing Mom and the Resistance could not handle. In fact, now that he reflected on it, maybe for the past several days Ben had just assumed their report on the weapon would be more than enough. The New Republic would demand immediate action to either disable or destroy it, the First Order would surrender, and everything would be back to normal.

Now, he saw how much he had been in denial about it. The First Order, in a single swift motion, had proven to the galaxy once and for all that they were not to be taken lightly. They were not a faction of ex-Imperials refusing to admit the war had ended. They were a whole new force, with more force and technology Ben had given them credit.

And he supposed he was the sort of person the First Order knew they had been playing. How many others like him were only now going to take this threat seriously? How many others had ignored the warning signs and dismissed them until this very moment?

Ben turned to his dad, trying to swallow the desert in his mouth. It was hard to speak. Ben was not even fully aware of what he was saying, only that he could not think and the weight of the attack still hurt everywhere inside him.

“Dad…we have to go help.”

“What?” Han blinked, then turned to him.

“Let’s go back to Naboo. Back to Mom and the Resistance.”

Han made a small scoff he probably assumed passed for a laugh.

“No way. No way I’m going back to her. She would just tell me to shove off anyway.”

Ben clenched his jaw. He knew punching your own old man was going too far, but this one time he wanted to make an exception.

“Are you serious, Dad?! You fought in the _Rebellion_. You know what’s at stake now; you just saw it!”

“Jyn—“

“It’s _Ben_ , and I’m not done!” he snapped. “We should go help them. We’ve got to destroy that weapon before they use it again. Dad, the only group that’s taken an official stand against them are the Resistance. They’ll come after them next.”

At just mentioning the idea, Ben winced. After the way he up and left before, going back to the Resistance would be nothing short of humiliating. Mom and Captain Dameron would never let him hear the end of it. Especially since they had been giving him the whole ‘we can use pilots like you’ bit over and over.

And yet…something was awakening in Ben Solo. Something that had been pushed down and ignored for too long. But at seeing such horror and atrocity right in front of him, there was a part in him he could not deny anymore. It was the part of him that desired justice, wanted to right every wrong, to take a stand against evil. It was the part of him that found it impossible to stand idle.

And it was no longer enough to only take piloting jobs for people who could be considered ‘good’ in enough senses. No longer enough to passively stand by and act like he was doing his own part when he never took direct action. That was not enough to stop a weapon like Starkiller base. But maybe, just maybe, if Ben helped the Resistance fight back, it would make a difference.

Ben did not think he could live with himself if he stood by this time. Not after this.

His dad shook his head.

“Would they even let us help if we went there?”

“Of course they will. Let’s go, right now. Tell Maz someone else has do to her work.” Right now, Ben did not even care if this meant he had to put up with his dad the whole time. There was much more at stake than his own problems. Without thinking he grabbed his dad by the forearm. “Come on. We have to go…”

Ben looked in his father’s eyes and saw so much of himself reflected back. Both of them had been running from their problems, he realized. Both of them had used their jobs as an escape.

“It’s going to be dangerous. More likely a suicide mission,” said Han.

“So that’s it, then. You’re going to sit back while the First Order destroys everything you fought for in the Rebellion?” Ben backed away and looked up at the Wookiee. “You too, Chewie?”

“ _I go where Han goes,”_ Chewbacca replied in Shyriiwook. _“I’m sorry, Ben.”_

Ben wished Chewbacca would help knock some sense into the man, but that might be asking too much. Those two had stood by each other’s side for many years and Ben did not see that dynamic changing anytime soon. Still, it disappointed him.

“Yeah, me too. Sorry for thinking you actually still cared, Dad.”

“I do care! I just…I don’t know if we’ll be doing any good out there.” Han glanced up again at the distant explosions, which were beginning to dissipate by now. The crowds still gathered around, whispering and lamenting about what they had witnessed. There was still a haunting quiet over the place, as it seemed the galaxy’s new reality increasingly sank in. Ben knew they had all witnessed history just now, and from here on out things were going to be very different.

“That’s a lame excuse.” Ben stood up straight, looking at his dad. “I’m leaving, right now. Are you coming with me or not?”

Han looked back at him, the hesitation clear in his eyes. Chewbacca stood to the side, watching Han carefully. When the silence had stretched on long enough, Ben took that as his answer and began to walk away, until his father’s voice rang out.

“Wait! Wait…I’ll come with you.”

“You mean it?” Ben stopped.

“Yeah, if only to make sure you don’t do anything stupid and get yourself killed.” Han joined him, standing side-by-side with his son. “I’m not the hero I was back in the Rebellion. Nowhere close. But…I think some of that guy is still around somewhere. At least enough for me to do this again.”

“Good. Glad to hear it.”

“Maz won’t be happy to hear we’re bailing out on her.”

“I think she’ll be understanding.” Ben glanced at K8. “Kate, ready the ship. We’re going back to Naboo.”

As the astromech hurried off to alert Delta, Chewbacca returned to the _Falcon_ to do the same. Ben watched his father’s reaction. He was still angry and hurt that his dad still refused to accept him all these years later, wouldn’t even grant him the dignity of being addressed by his chosen name. But, at least when it counted, his dad wasn’t going to turn his back on them. He still had that fighting spirit, even all these years later. In a sense, it made Ben somewhat proud to say this man was his father.

“So, uh, there’s one thing I still don’t understand,” Han said as they began hurrying back to the castle to tell Maz the news.

“What’s that?”

“How the hell did you end up on Starkiller base anyway?”

~

_Starkiller Base – Month 5, Day 25, 34 ABY_

_“Rey…”_ Snoke’s hologram whispered to her. _“Something has…changed in the Force.”_

She sat cross-legged in front of the hologram, which towered several feet above her. It was the only source of light in the room. And it was cold. So cold…Rey’s fingers and toes were starting to go numb from it.

“Yes, Master. I…I feel it too.”

_“There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?”_

“Yes.” She closed her eyes. Her thoughts would betray her, but she couldn’t help it. She was thinking of the pilot who got away. Ben Solo. She thought of him day and night and wondered how things might have gone if she was able to keep him here. Would Snoke have trained him as he trained Rey? Would Ben have been executed by the First Order? Who knows.

 _“The Light is taking a new breath. Small, but strong.”_ Snoke’s tone darkened. _“You know the Light, its danger, what it is capable of. If it is not quickly contained, it spreads like wildfire. It must be snuffed out before it finds itself.”_

Rey had felt it too. Not long after the attack on Starkiller base, it began. Just as he said, it was so small she could almost ignore it, especially now that the attack had caused the spread of so much darkness. And yet, there was something about it she could not put her finger on. It did not feel so jarringly unfamiliar and painful as the Light she felt at the village on Jakku when she met the Church of the Force. This was a different sort of Light. It almost felt…familiar.

_“Rey, this is what you must do. Find it, and destroy it. Quickly.”_

“Of course, Master. It will be done.” She looked up but his hologram was already gone.


End file.
